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Muslim Men In Abusive Marriages.

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  • #61
    Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post

    "Most of us are emotional, hot-headed and argumentative."

    If that really is the case then I would expect it to be a little more than some men having a tough time.
    Most men and women are hot headed arugmentative... that is why relationships are tough but when both (husband and wife) are going at (abusing) eachother.. we can it normal relationship and that does not fall under abuse

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    • #62
      Originally posted by Kya View Post

      Most men and women are hot headed arugmentative... that is why relationships are tough but when both (husband and wife) are going at (abusing) eachother.. we can it normal relationship and that does not fall under abuse
      Don't tell me tell sister definable.

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      • #63
        Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post

        Don't tell me tell sister definable.
        Sister who...?

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        • #64
          Originally posted by Indefinable View Post



          You're right. Some men really do have a tough time.
          sad to say but some men get tortured with emotional and mental abuse

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          • #65
            Originally posted by Simply_Logical View Post

            sad to say but some men get tortured with emotional and mental abuse
            What stops these men from leaving?
            Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

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            • #66
              Originally posted by shay5 View Post

              What stops these men from leaving?
              Love for the spouse
              embaressment and shame
              fear of consequences of divorcr

              Comment


              • #67
                Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post

                Love for the spouse
                embaressment and shame
                fear of consequences of divorcr
                Not wanting there kids to have divorced parents.

                Comment


                • #68
                  Originally posted by oshirowanen View Post

                  Not wanting there kids to have divorced parents.
                  I think this is the number one reason why most people stay in abusive marriages. Also because they think life being separated will be worse than how they are now.

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                  • #69
                    Originally posted by Indefinable View Post

                    I think this is the number one reason why most people stay in abusive marriages. Also because they think life being separated will be worse than how they are now.
                    It was definitely my number one reason. But then I realised that I am causing my child psychological harm in the form of showing her that it is okay to stay in an abusive relationship. So i figured, on top of everything else, no point me staying with her mother who I can no longer trust, plus, if I divorce her mother, at least that will show my daughter, that it is perfectly okay to divorce an abusive person, and that there is no need to stay in such a relationship.

                    Comment


                    • #70
                      Originally posted by shay5 View Post

                      What stops these men from leaving?
                      because theyre on lock down and fear having to leave

                      Comment


                      • #71
                        Originally posted by oshirowanen View Post

                        It was definitely my number one reason. But then I realised that I am causing my child psychological harm in the form of showing her that it is okay to stay in an abusive relationship. So i figured, on top of everything else, no point me staying with her mother who I can no longer trust, plus, if I divorce her mother, at least that will show my daughter, that it is perfectly okay to divorce an abusive person, and that there is no need to stay in such a relationship.
                        Do you ever worry that later in life, people will look down on your daughter because she's from a broken family?

                        Your views are "forward-thinking", I think it's going to be a long time before most Muslim cultures accept that divorce can be liberating.

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                        • #72
                          Originally posted by Simply_Logical View Post

                          because theyre on lock down and fear having to leave
                          Lock down in what way?

                          And what fear would a man have of leaving?

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                          • #73
                            Originally posted by Indefinable View Post

                            Do you ever worry that later in life, people will look down on your daughter because she's from a broken family?

                            Your views are "forward-thinking", I think it's going to be a long time before most Muslim cultures accept that divorce can be liberating.
                            That used to bother me, but then I realised such things do not matter. If people think badly about you, that's there problem, not yours. If you get absorbed into such things, you become a slave of society, always worried about what people will think.

                            Have to remember, when the prophet (pbuh) of Islam started telling people about Islam, he was condemned and the majority of people thought badly of him. It doesn't matter what people think, as long as you know you're doing the right thing.

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                            • #74
                              Originally posted by Indefinable View Post

                              Lock down in what way?

                              And what fear would a man have of leaving?
                              locked down as in under the thumb in every way

                              fear that life wont be good without the wife because she has such a hold over him

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                              • #75
                                Originally posted by Simply_Logical View Post

                                locked down as in under the thumb in every way

                                fear that life wont be good without the wife because she has such a hold over him
                                That would be a messed up place to be. I was lucky in that regard, the only thing holding me back was my kid, worried about how divorce will affect her. But then I guess I grew up and realised that staying in an abusive marriage will set an example for my daughter that it is okay to stay and be abused. Unfortunately, most muslim societies never grow up enough to realise such a basic thing.

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