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Muslim Men In Abusive Marriages.

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  • oshirowanen
    replied
    Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post

    Love for the spouse
    embaressment and shame
    fear of consequences of divorcr
    Not wanting there kids to have divorced parents.

    Leave a comment:


  • Abu julaybeeb
    replied
    Originally posted by shay5 View Post

    What stops these men from leaving?
    Love for the spouse
    embaressment and shame
    fear of consequences of divorcr

    Leave a comment:


  • shay5
    replied
    Originally posted by Simply_Logical View Post

    sad to say but some men get tortured with emotional and mental abuse
    What stops these men from leaving?

    Leave a comment:


  • Simply_Logical
    replied
    Originally posted by Indefinable View Post



    You're right. Some men really do have a tough time.
    sad to say but some men get tortured with emotional and mental abuse

    Leave a comment:


  • Indefinable
    replied
    Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post

    Don't tell me tell sister definable.
    Sister who...?

    Leave a comment:


  • zi-zizou
    replied
    Originally posted by Kya View Post

    Most men and women are hot headed arugmentative... that is why relationships are tough but when both (husband and wife) are going at (abusing) eachother.. we can it normal relationship and that does not fall under abuse
    Don't tell me tell sister definable.

    Leave a comment:


  • Kya
    replied
    Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post

    "Most of us are emotional, hot-headed and argumentative."

    If that really is the case then I would expect it to be a little more than some men having a tough time.
    Most men and women are hot headed arugmentative... that is why relationships are tough but when both (husband and wife) are going at (abusing) eachother.. we can it normal relationship and that does not fall under abuse

    Leave a comment:


  • zi-zizou
    replied
    Originally posted by Indefinable View Post



    You're right. Some men really do have a tough time.
    "Most of us are emotional, hot-headed and argumentative."

    If that really is the case then I would expect it to be a little more than some men having a tough time.

    Leave a comment:


  • Indefinable
    replied
    Originally posted by Kya View Post
    Sorry this happened to brother Oshirowanen. Abuse toward man is common in Muslim society. Even our prophet SAW said women will go to jahanam for treating her husband poorly. Most of us think it is because she is disobeying her husband but the reality is, if you meet enough couple & listen to their stories, you will learn the women are downright mean/bullies to their husband. Most are not physical and the cases where it is physical its because the men is afraid of the scene she will create if he raises his hand back at her. This is not just a western problem of police call if a men hits a women but also in east where she can scream loud enough and get the whole village together & drag his name down. So he stays quiet.

    But 90% of abuse are mental, which can be far worst than physical because it leaves no mark behind. Unfortunately it is also hard to help. In our community we do have suspicious of many men who everything thinks is in some form of abusive marriage but these are old men who have been married for decade. Many of these mans need permission from their wife before they do anything, some of those men are really dumb & had made plenty of mistakes in past that the wife took over leadership role. some of these men end up doing 90% of the house work while the wife stays home and gets fatter. I don't know if there is resource or how to get help, I really don't know how I would help. Oh speaking of physical abuse, I heard of a guy who got chased with "daa" (knife) by his wife, they are still married.


    You're right. Some men really do have a tough time.

    Leave a comment:


  • Abu julaybeeb
    replied
    Originally posted by oshirowanen View Post

    Unfortunately no. Immediate family were the ones who chose my ex, they too were abusers, they were the first to turn their backs. So I figured, had enough of abuse, time to minimise interaction with them as much as possible.
    may Allah give you someone better in this world and the next

    ps the hoor al ayn were making duaa against her all that time she was causing u problems

    Leave a comment:


  • Indefinable
    replied
    Originally posted by oshirowanen View Post

    Unfortunately no. Immediate family were the ones who chose my ex, they too were abusers, they were the first to turn their backs. So I figured, had enough of abuse, time to minimise interaction with them as much as possible.
    That must have been devastating. I'm sure this whole ordeal has made you a stronger person. In Sha Allaah.

    Leave a comment:


  • shay5
    replied
    Originally posted by oshirowanen View Post

    In the end I realised, there is no help for abused falsely accused men in the UK. Luckily, I was able to logically think my way out of this situation, fought back, set the record straight, cleared my name with the judge at the high court, ditched the friends, family, relatives, local imam, lost respect for certain mods here. I mean, why keep contact with people who will not be there for you when you need them?
    Sorry to hear that...I remember reading your posts from a few years ago.....

    Leave a comment:


  • Kya
    replied
    Sorry this happened to brother Oshirowanen. Abuse toward man is common in Muslim society. Even our prophet SAW said women will go to jahanam for treating her husband poorly. Most of us think it is because she is disobeying her husband but the reality is, if you meet enough couple & listen to their stories, you will learn the women are downright mean/bullies to their husband. Most are not physical and the cases where it is physical its because the men is afraid of the scene she will create if he raises his hand back at her. This is not just a western problem of police call if a men hits a women but also in east where she can scream loud enough and get the whole village together & drag his name down. So he stays quiet.

    But 90% of abuse are mental, which can be far worst than physical because it leaves no mark behind. Unfortunately it is also hard to help. In our community we do have suspicious of many men who everything thinks is in some form of abusive marriage but these are old men who have been married for decade. Many of these mans need permission from their wife before they do anything, some of those men are really dumb & had made plenty of mistakes in past that the wife took over leadership role. some of these men end up doing 90% of the house work while the wife stays home and gets fatter. I don't know if there is resource or how to get help, I really don't know how I would help. Oh speaking of physical abuse, I heard of a guy who got chased with "daa" (knife) by his wife, they are still married.

    Leave a comment:


  • oshirowanen
    replied
    Originally posted by Indefinable View Post
    Your immediate family must have believed you and supported you, right?

    Trials certainly show other people's true colours. When things are good, everyone is around and wants to be your friend, but when things get slightly difficult then ... most people tend to be ostracized.

    Your real friends/family are those who stick by you through your worst. Unfortunately there's not many people around like that.
    Unfortunately no. Immediate family were the ones who chose my ex, they too were abusers, they were the first to turn their backs. So I figured, had enough of abuse, time to minimise interaction with them as much as possible.
    Last edited by oshirowanen; 18-06-18, 11:49 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • noobz
    replied
    2 things i see that follow a pattern\

    if its physical abuse its usually the male

    if its mental abuse its usually the female

    Leave a comment:

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