Muslim Men In Abusive Marriages.

[Indefinable]

Assalaamu alaykum wa rahmatullaah.

I read something in the news a couple of weeks ago about a (non Muslim) man who was physically and emotionally abused by his (female) partner for a number of years. (Really horrifying and traumatic abuse was endured).

Most of us come from patriarchal societies whereby men lead and women follow, so something like this seems somewhat like an alien concept.

Nevertheless, it probably does happen. So how can we help someone in this situation? Or will a man ever seek help, if they are ever in that situation? Are there any organisations that deal with this? Will the community laugh at such men? Anyone know of anyone who has been through this?

[Saif-Uddin]

Assalaamu alaykum wa rahmatullaah.

I read something in the news a couple of weeks ago about a (non Muslim) man who was physically and emotionally abused by his (female) partner for a number of years. (Really horrifying and traumatic abuse was endured).

Most of us come from patriarchal societies whereby men lead and women follow, so something like this seems somewhat like an alien concept.

Nevertheless, it probably does happen. So how can we help someone in this situation? Or will a man ever seek help, if they are ever in that situation? Are there any organisations that deal with this? Will the community laugh at such men? Anyone know of anyone who has been through this?

We have bigger problems than trying to help a non-Muslim man who was abused by his wife.

The entire outlook of the husband and wife are at odds with Islam. They need Dawah first before you go trying to fix every problem they have.

Without Tawheed they will remain messed up.

If your referring to Muslim men, then that's extremely rare to hear about a wife abusing her husband.

جزاك الله خيرا

[Indefinable]

We have bigger problems than trying to help a non-Muslim man who was abused by his wife.

The entire outlook of the husband and wife are at odds with Islam. They need Dawah first before you go trying to fix every problem they have.

Without Tawheed they will remain messed up.

If your referring to Muslim men, then that's extremely rare to hear about a wife abusing her husband.

جزاك الله خيرا

I am referring to Muslim men. So it doesn't happen. At all.

[Saif-Uddin]

I am referring to Muslim men. So it doesn't happen. At all.

Allahu Alam, wouldn't be surprised if it happens,

But it isn't common,

Personally never heard of a wife abusing her husband beating him up and what not.

We can't rule it out though,

جزاك الله خيرا

[Ya'sin]

I have heard of one lady slapping her husband in front of a relative (Bengali couple)
they are still together, have kids of secondary school age but I can't comment on anything else as I have no idea how the husband is coping or if things have improved with them (just because he is still with her doesn't mean it's going great, we just don't know)

I think there was another case of a man being abused but I didn't look into it much at the time, it was on islam channel, anyone know what happened?

It seems to be rare but this is very humiliating for a man, unfortunately he will be laughed at by society

Some men might feel overpowered by the wife who might threaten him

It's not black and white so I don't think Muslims should laugh it off

things are going downhill so men facing abuse is not surprising me as we don't have our priorities right

I don't know about any organisations and I think the Muslim community is generally slow in these things.

For example, we still have problems with forced marriages amongst other things, the former should have been eradictaed a long time ago. It shows a lack of commitment to progression and positive change for our religion and children.

[Fakhri]

Personally, unless it's a case where the wife has some serious issues with psychological health, it's hard to imagine a Muslim man accepting being physycally abused at all by the wife.

The one case I've heard of personally is where the husband was supposedly up to no good in a few different ways and was apparently kicked down the stairs (!) by the wife.

Still, similar to the above post, I guess with some marriages involving citizenship issues, or from the father's fear of losing his children, it's conceivable that things like that could go on in Muslim homes...

[Saif-Uddin]

Same old problems,

Forced marriages , marriages for so called love, which turn out to be disastrous, marrying for the wrong reason, men who are led by women who won't man up etc

It's like the Ummah just does not learn

نعوذ بالله من ذلك

[Saif-Uddin]

Personally, unless it's a case where the wife has some serious issues with psychological health, it's hard to imagine a Muslim man accepting being physycally abused at all by the wife.

The one case I've heard of personally is where the husband was supposedly up to no good in a few different ways and was apparently kicked down the stairs (!) by the wife.

Still, similar to the above post, I guess with some marriages involving citizenship issues, or from the father's fear of losing his children, it's conceivable that things like that could go on in Muslim homes...

Yeah, first time I heard of a Muslim man getting slapped in public by his wife

نعوذ بالله من ذلك

Kicked down the stairs by his wife?!!!

Face-palm

[Indefinable]

Yeah, first time I heard of a Muslim man getting slapped in public by his wife

نعوذ بالله من ذلك

Kicked down the stairs by his wife?!!!

Face-palm

Hmm. It could very well be (and not wanting to assume bad about the brother concerned) that if a man is on drugs/drunk - then it is very easy for a woman to "kick him down the stairs". Or he's facing the staircase (standing at the top) unaware and she kicks him from behind.

[Saif-Uddin]

Hmm. It could very well be (and not wanting to assume bad about the brother concerned) that if a man is on drugs/drunk - then it is very easy for a woman to "kick him down the stairs". Or he's facing the staircase (standing at the top) unaware and she kicks him from behind.

If the man is a druggy and a drunkard?

Why do people marry such loosers?


نعوذ بالله من ذلك

[Indefinable]

If the man is a druggy and a drunkard?

Why do people marry such loosers?


نعوذ بالله من ذلك

No one would willingly marry such a person. Besides - some addictions can start after marriage.

[Indefinable]

I have heard of one lady slapping her husband in front of a relative (Bengali couple)
they are still together, have kids of secondary school age but I can't comment on anything else as I have no idea how the husband is coping or if things have improved with them (just because he is still with her doesn't mean it's going great, we just don't know)

I think there was another case of a man being abused but I didn't look into it much at the time, it was on islam channel, anyone know what happened?

It seems to be rare but this is very humiliating for a man, unfortunately he will be laughed at by society

Some men might feel overpowered by the wife who might threaten him

It's not black and white so I don't think Muslims should laugh it off

things are going downhill so men facing abuse is not surprising me as we don't have our priorities right

I don't know about any organisations and I think the Muslim community is generally slow in these things.

For example, we still have problems with forced marriages amongst other things, the former should have been eradictaed a long time ago. It shows a lack of commitment to progression and positive change for our religion and children.

That story really made me think. I thought women were meant to be more gentler and softer. I can understand if the husband has done something really terrible, and so the wife is hurt and maybe lashes out with a push or a shove. But - the rest seems really strange.

Yeah I agree - we have a whole host of problems in general.

[Indefinable]

Personally, unless it's a case where the wife has some serious issues with psychological health, it's hard to imagine a Muslim man accepting being physycally abused at all by the wife.

The one case I've heard of personally is where the husband was supposedly up to no good in a few different ways and was apparently kicked down the stairs (!) by the wife.

Still, similar to the above post, I guess with some marriages involving citizenship issues, or from the father's fear of losing his children, it's conceivable that things like that could go on in Muslim homes...

It probably does happen. But something which is hidden or ignored.

[Abu julaybeeb]

If she hit me id divorce her
if she does it once shel do it again

[Indefinable]

If she hit me id divorce her
if she does it once shel do it again

Even if you had kids?