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Muslim Men In Abusive Marriages.

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    Muslim Men In Abusive Marriages.

    Assalaamu alaykum wa rahmatullaah.

    I read something in the news a couple of weeks ago about a (non Muslim) man who was physically and emotionally abused by his (female) partner for a number of years. (Really horrifying and traumatic abuse was endured).

    Most of us come from patriarchal societies whereby men lead and women follow, so something like this seems somewhat like an alien concept.

    Nevertheless, it probably does happen. So how can we help someone in this situation? Or will a man ever seek help, if they are ever in that situation? Are there any organisations that deal with this? Will the community laugh at such men? Anyone know of anyone who has been through this?


    #2
    Originally posted by Indefinable View Post
    Assalaamu alaykum wa rahmatullaah.

    I read something in the news a couple of weeks ago about a (non Muslim) man who was physically and emotionally abused by his (female) partner for a number of years. (Really horrifying and traumatic abuse was endured).

    Most of us come from patriarchal societies whereby men lead and women follow, so something like this seems somewhat like an alien concept.

    Nevertheless, it probably does happen. So how can we help someone in this situation? Or will a man ever seek help, if they are ever in that situation? Are there any organisations that deal with this? Will the community laugh at such men? Anyone know of anyone who has been through this?
    We have bigger problems than trying to help a non-Muslim man who was abused by his wife.
    ​​​​​​
    The entire outlook of the husband and wife are at odds with Islam. They need Dawah first before you go trying to fix every problem they have.

    Without Tawheed they will remain messed up.

    If your referring to Muslim men, then that's extremely rare to hear about a wife abusing her husband.

    جزاك الله خيرا
    http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

    "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

    – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by Saif-Uddin View Post

      We have bigger problems than trying to help a non-Muslim man who was abused by his wife.
      ​​​​​​
      The entire outlook of the husband and wife are at odds with Islam. They need Dawah first before you go trying to fix every problem they have.

      Without Tawheed they will remain messed up.

      If your referring to Muslim men, then that's extremely rare to hear about a wife abusing her husband.

      جزاك الله خيرا
      I am referring to Muslim men. So it doesn't happen. At all.

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by Indefinable View Post

        I am referring to Muslim men. So it doesn't happen. At all.
        Allahu Alam, wouldn't be surprised if it happens,

        But it isn't common,

        Personally never heard of a wife abusing her husband beating him up and what not.

        We can't rule it out though,

        جزاك الله خيرا
        http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

        "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

        – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

        Comment


          #5
          I have heard of one lady slapping her husband in front of a relative (Bengali couple)
          they are still together, have kids of secondary school age but I can't comment on anything else as I have no idea how the husband is coping or if things have improved with them (just because he is still with her doesn't mean it's going great, we just don't know)

          I think there was another case of a man being abused but I didn't look into it much at the time, it was on islam channel, anyone know what happened?

          It seems to be rare but this is very humiliating for a man, unfortunately he will be laughed at by society

          Some men might feel overpowered by the wife who might threaten him

          It's not black and white so I don't think Muslims should laugh it off

          things are going downhill so men facing abuse is not surprising me as we don't have our priorities right

          I don't know about any organisations and I think the Muslim community is generally slow in these things.

          For example, we still have problems with forced marriages amongst other things, the former should have been eradictaed a long time ago. It shows a lack of commitment to progression and positive change for our religion and children.



          'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

          So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

          Comment


            #6
            Personally, unless it's a case where the wife has some serious issues with psychological health, it's hard to imagine a Muslim man accepting being physycally abused at all by the wife.

            The one case I've heard of personally is where the husband was supposedly up to no good in a few different ways and was apparently kicked down the stairs (!) by the wife.

            Still, similar to the above post, I guess with some marriages involving citizenship issues, or from the father's fear of losing his children, it's conceivable that things like that could go on in Muslim homes...
            LAA ILAAHA ILLALLAH
            -------------------------------
            "And if you would count the graces of God, never could you be able to count them. Truly, God is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (Qur'aan 16:18)
            NOTE: Please kindly do NOT rep my posts. (Jazaa'akumullah).

            Comment


              #7
              Same old problems,

              Forced marriages , marriages for so called love, which turn out to be disastrous, marrying for the wrong reason, men who are led by women who won't man up etc

              It's like the Ummah just does not learn

              نعوذ بالله من ذلك
              http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

              "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

              – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by Fakhri View Post
                Personally, unless it's a case where the wife has some serious issues with psychological health, it's hard to imagine a Muslim man accepting being physycally abused at all by the wife.

                The one case I've heard of personally is where the husband was supposedly up to no good in a few different ways and was apparently kicked down the stairs (!) by the wife.

                Still, similar to the above post, I guess with some marriages involving citizenship issues, or from the father's fear of losing his children, it's conceivable that things like that could go on in Muslim homes...
                Yeah, first time I heard of a Muslim man getting slapped in public by his wife
                ​​​​​
                نعوذ بالله من ذلك

                Kicked down the stairs by his wife?!!!

                Face-palm
                http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

                "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

                – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by Saif-Uddin View Post

                  Yeah, first time I heard of a Muslim man getting slapped in public by his wife
                  ​​​​​
                  نعوذ بالله من ذلك

                  Kicked down the stairs by his wife?!!!

                  Face-palm
                  Hmm. It could very well be (and not wanting to assume bad about the brother concerned) that if a man is on drugs/drunk - then it is very easy for a woman to "kick him down the stairs". Or he's facing the staircase (standing at the top) unaware and she kicks him from behind.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by Indefinable View Post

                    Hmm. It could very well be (and not wanting to assume bad about the brother concerned) that if a man is on drugs/drunk - then it is very easy for a woman to "kick him down the stairs". Or he's facing the staircase (standing at the top) unaware and she kicks him from behind.
                    If the man is a druggy and a drunkard?
                    ​​​​​​
                    Why do people marry such loosers?

                    ​​​​​​
                    نعوذ بالله من ذلك
                    http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

                    "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

                    – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by Saif-Uddin View Post

                      If the man is a druggy and a drunkard?
                      ​​​​​​
                      Why do people marry such loosers?

                      ​​​​​​
                      نعوذ بالله من ذلك
                      No one would willingly marry such a person. Besides - some addictions can start after marriage.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                        I have heard of one lady slapping her husband in front of a relative (Bengali couple)
                        they are still together, have kids of secondary school age but I can't comment on anything else as I have no idea how the husband is coping or if things have improved with them (just because he is still with her doesn't mean it's going great, we just don't know)

                        I think there was another case of a man being abused but I didn't look into it much at the time, it was on islam channel, anyone know what happened?

                        It seems to be rare but this is very humiliating for a man, unfortunately he will be laughed at by society

                        Some men might feel overpowered by the wife who might threaten him

                        It's not black and white so I don't think Muslims should laugh it off

                        things are going downhill so men facing abuse is not surprising me as we don't have our priorities right

                        I don't know about any organisations and I think the Muslim community is generally slow in these things.

                        For example, we still have problems with forced marriages amongst other things, the former should have been eradictaed a long time ago. It shows a lack of commitment to progression and positive change for our religion and children.


                        That story really made me think. I thought women were meant to be more gentler and softer. I can understand if the husband has done something really terrible, and so the wife is hurt and maybe lashes out with a push or a shove. But - the rest seems really strange.

                        Yeah I agree - we have a whole host of problems in general.


                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by Fakhri View Post
                          Personally, unless it's a case where the wife has some serious issues with psychological health, it's hard to imagine a Muslim man accepting being physycally abused at all by the wife.

                          The one case I've heard of personally is where the husband was supposedly up to no good in a few different ways and was apparently kicked down the stairs (!) by the wife.

                          Still, similar to the above post, I guess with some marriages involving citizenship issues, or from the father's fear of losing his children, it's conceivable that things like that could go on in Muslim homes...
                          It probably does happen. But something which is hidden or ignored.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            If she hit me id divorce her
                            if she does it once shel do it again

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post
                              If she hit me id divorce her
                              if she does it once shel do it again
                              Even if you had kids?

                              Comment

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