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I'm giving up on marriage

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  • #46
    are you in Europe? I am looking too but to no avail when it comes to muslim...seems like i am only for the kuffar....only kuffar women chase after me..i hope i am not doing a mistake with this but i am free to talk to someones wali...
    whoever leaves something for the sake of Allah,Allah will replace it with something better

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    • #47
      Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post

      It's only easier if you have low standards.
      True
      finding a religious one is a needle in a haystack

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      • #48
        Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
        Ameen.

        Where are your parents in all this?

        You're just going to have to keep trying. Better than being single forever.
        Lol why did I say this

        Here I am 3 years later, almost not caring about marriage at all anymore.

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        • #49
          Originally posted by ABDEL-ATHEEM

          Jazaaki ALLAHU Khayraan Katheeraan for your help

          Assalamu alaykom wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh Sister
          Walaikumsalaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu

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          • #50
            Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post

            Lol why did I say this

            Here I am 3 years later, almost not caring about marriage at all anymore.
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            • #51
              Originally posted by notEVOLVED View Post

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              They all kid themselves with this talk Son.

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              • #52
                Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post

                Lol why did I say this

                Here I am 3 years later, almost not caring about marriage at all anymore.
                I'm definitely not best placed to reply to this but why not, br Stoic? Unless you're planning on living a very short life or you're in a particularly unfavourable situation for marriage....



                Edit.
                Well, tbf, this covid situation pretty much qualifies for particularly unfavourable...
                Last edited by Fakhri-bin-Ali; 1 week ago.
                ​​NOTE: Please kindly avoid 'liking' my posts. Thank you! (Jazaa'akumullah khair)

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                • #53
                  Originally posted by Fakhri-bin-Ali View Post

                  I'm definitely not best placed to reply to this but why not, br Stoic? Unless you're planning on living a very short life or you're in a particularly unfavourable situation for marriage....



                  Edit.
                  Well, tbf, this covid situation pretty much qualifies for particularly unfavourable...
                  It's difficult to care when there are zero potentials anywhere.

                  So since there are none and I am pretty content as a bachelor right now, I've become indifferent.

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                  • #54
                    Originally posted by Iwnbd1 View Post
                    I don't know why I'm opening this topic, I think I just need to put this out of my chest.

                    I've been actively searching for more then a year now, with no result.
                    Last year I asked a friend if she knew of someone, she told me she new of many potentials who met my criteria. Then one day she contacted me because she knew of someone who would be a perfect match, later on she declined for unspecified reasons (I've opened a topic about this before, you can go and read it) and since then she never linked me with another potential dispite her knowing of many.
                    At the time I was very shy to tell people I'm looking to get married, so for a few months I didn't actively search. Up untill about 6 months ago. I've decided that it was time to stop being passive, so I looked for ways to find someone online, I found a 'muslim' app. I asked my brother to be my mahram on the app and so he was. I was happy that I was able to look for someone in a halal way, but then things changed. Everytime we had an argument about something he would use the fact that I'm using an app to find someone, against me. I had a very hard time, cried allot etc. So I decided to remove him from the app, had a break from the app for a while.

                    But then I decided to get back to the app again. I found no one that I could see to spend my life with. The day I wanted to close my profile someone messaged me and he seemed to be exactly what I'm looking for. We moved to whatsapp, talking to him for about 4 days and I started to feel really guilty about the fact that no mahram/wali was involved, eventhough the conversations were respectfull. I prayed istighara and after that I asked him when we could meet (in the presence of a mahram), he said he would get back to me on that because of his workshedule, later on that day he messaged me that he doesn't want to meet and that he is not who I think he is. I thanked him for his honesty and so we parted our ways.
                    My next move was to try a muslim website, I've been using it for just a week now. I talked to 1 guy that I was interested in, but I felt he was being rude, he wasn't really engaging in the conversation eventhough he was the one that made the first move, and when he asked me to meet him in his country I ended our conversation. I don't know if that's wrong from my part, but I felt really bad as a female to be the one who has to put the effort to travel to another country for the meeting.

                    So this was the process in a nutshell. I would love to get some feedback to get another perspective. From my point of view I did my best and I don't know if I can better my situation.
                    Looking back I've felt lost through out this whole process. Trying to do things in the halal way, but then no one that's willing to help. No mahram, sister/friend I feel comfortable with.

                    May Allah swt make it easyer on all the muslims who are looking to get married.

                    I completely understand sister, Am in a similar situation. But honestly one year is nothing, try 8 years with no result lol Am not saying this to upset you, but to make you realise there’s always someone in a worse situation. I think for us not having family take on that responsibility creates a lot of problems, and its not you’re fault. Its good you’re trying to do things the halal way and that’s the most important.

                    Firstly, I would say don’t depend on people too much and expect things just because someone mentioned a potential. Not everyone actually sticks to their word. Just take everything with a pinch of salt. This also applies to when you’re speaking to potentials.

                    It will take some time, and you will have to speak to few people before finding someone compatible. And that’s normal, this is just a journey. Some people find someone in a week whereas for others it takes years, We will never know. We just have to trust Allah he will send someone to us at the right time. Just keep you’re mahram involved in the process and make dua for you and you’re family. And yes sometimes it can be frustrating and we feel we need to do more, But Allah will not burden us. Making dua and getting closer to Allah is what will make us more content. And never lose Hope, just keep trying inshallah.


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                    • #55



                      Ameen! May Allah make is easier for all of us.

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                      • #56
                        Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post

                        It's difficult to care when there are zero potentials anywhere.

                        So since there are none and I am pretty content as a bachelor right now, I've become indifferent.
                        Just keep pulling Links son.
                        You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

                        You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

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                        • #57
                          Originally posted by notEVOLVED View Post

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                          Oh my goodness

                          This frog has lost the will to live
                          Lmso looks so rough, my eyes go red when I don't sleep enough

                          And so the marriage saga continues, will the next single eligible bachelor get married this year or not

                          Find out this year


                          'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                          So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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