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Is sending a "semi" love letter to your fiance weird?

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  • #16
    Assalamu alaikum,

    weather its halal or haram, or disliked to send letters to a women your not yet married to, its still probably better to not send letters to avoid messing things up.



    Jabir reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.

    Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2813


    Quit whilst your ahead, if you both like each other and are happy to get married soon, and there is no need to speak to her then why risk messing things up?



    Scholars say:

    There is nothing wrong with corresponding with your fiancée in order to agree on matters to do with the wedding, if that is done with the knowledge and supervision of her parents, and it is free of any expressions of love that are not permissible between a man and a non-mahram woman. It is well known that the man is a “stranger” (non-mahram) to his fiancée until the marriage contract is done.

    It makes no difference whether this correspondence is done via e-mail or regular mail, or over the telephone, but it is better if the correspondence and conversation is with her guardian only.

    Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan (may Allaah preserve him) was asked about a man speaking to his fiancée over the phone – is that permissible according to sharee’ah or not?

    He replied:

    There is nothing wrong with a man speaking to his fiancée over the phone, if that is after they have agreed to marry, and the conversation is in order to discuss different issues and is done only as much as is needed, and there is no fitnah involved. If that is done through her wali (guardian) that is preferable and less dubious.

    End quote from al-Muntaqa, 3/163

    And Allaah knows best.


    -


    www.puremuslimmatch.com

    *The Free Marriage Agency for practising Muslims*

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    • #17
      Lol it sounds ridiculous to me tbh, I hope it doesn't put her off
      شَكَوْتُ إلَى وَكِيعٍ سُوءَ حِفْظِي
      فَأرْشَدَنِي إلَى تَرْكِ المعَاصي
      وَأخْبَرَنِي بأَنَّ العِلْمَ نُورٌ
      ونورُ الله لا يهدى لعاصي

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      • #18
        Originally posted by Azraael View Post
        I will be getting married In Shaa Allah soon, but I was wondering if it's weird to send a letter to your fiance, who you've known for only a few months.

        It's not a sappy love letter or anything, OK.. it has a little bit of that in the beginning, but mainly promises, reassurance, and hope for the future.


        In any case, I feel really embarrassed, and hoping it doesn't come off as being weird....

        Any thoughts on this from anyone?

        Jzk.
        What makes you think this is even allowed, since your not married yet?

        Fiance doesn't mean your husband and wife.
        http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

        "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

        – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

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        • #19
          Save for after nikkah

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          • #20
            Originally posted by Rumaysah~ View Post
            Lol it sounds ridiculous to me tbh, I hope it doesn't put her off
            Lol. Like professing an undying love.
            the things us men do sometimes.
            But worst case scenario I would just have to move on.
            Learn next time not to ever do those sorts of things.
            In hindsight it is a bit silly.

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            • #21
              Originally posted by Saif-Uddin View Post

              What makes you think this is even allowed, since your not married yet?

              Fiance doesn't mean your husband and wife.
              True. So it would be okay after nikah then even if before a wedding ceremony. Since that holds no legal weight.

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              • #22
                No reason for this thread to continue.
                I'd like to request it to close.

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by Azraael View Post

                  Jzk for the reply.
                  So obviously I kept it focused like i said on reassurance and also that Islam should play an integral role in our relationship as well as the remembrance of Allah (swt).

                  As far as contents I did sort of compliment her on two things.

                  in any case...it's too late now...

                  I feel so cringy...
                  What were the "two things" you complimented her on?..*gulp*
                  Spears shall be shaken! Shields shall be splintered! a sword day..a red day..ere the sun rises! Ride now! Ride now! Ride! Ride to ruin, and the world’s ending!

                  None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.”

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by Azraael View Post

                    True. So it would be okay after nikah then even if before a wedding ceremony. Since that holds no legal weight.
                    Yes that's correct, once the nikaah is done, it's husband and wife, whether they've registered or done the ceremony,

                    جزاك الله خيرا
                    http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

                    "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

                    – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

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