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Where do I meet revert potentials for marriage?

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  • #31
    Originally posted by aruzo4 View Post
    I know looking online is not the most halal procedure but it seems as if this is the only option I have left. Does anyone know if there are any matrimonial websites dedicated to convert muslims looking for a spouse? I'm not a self-hater or anything, just always only ever been attracted to Caucasian males and can't see myself marrying an asian man but I have no idea where to find one. My dad and the imam at my local mosque did set up a meeting with the one and only Caucasian brother who was looking for a wife but he was mid 40s and already had a white and was looking for a 2nd (and there wasn't any attraction between us anyway). are there any other options? should I try other mosques etc?
    You find them the same way you would any other Muslim - friends, family, mosque, matrimonial sites. If that isn't working, open your pool of options and look for people from all backgrounds.

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    • #32
      Originally posted by Um_Saf View Post
      Again...What is up with the Ummah astaghfirullah! Only attracted to Caucasian, fair skinned, bronzed skin, an Arab etc. Then these people wonder why finding decent potentials is hard. Needing to state "not a self-hater" shows a self-hater imo its like saying "i am not a racist but..."lets people know you are a racist. Instead of looking for only a Caucasian potential look at why you have such a preference is my advice to you. You are severally limiting yourself and could find your preference makes you accept someone just for the sake. Don't limit yourself to any race or skin colour and look at every potential as an individual. These posts on this forum really make me question everything.
      It's always been this way. There has always been a battle between preference and self-hating and racism. The problem is people can't cope with reality that they don't understand the definition of certain behavior and are upset when it's pointed out. But that's the way it is when dealing with folks that come from colonized backgrounds. Some of us have been able to move past it and see the forest for the trees, and some haven't. Oh we'll, all you can do is educate, and beyond that the person is responsible for their own actions.

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      • #33
        Originally posted by Iwnbd1 View Post

        And then I'm the racist one for having my preference

        It's not right to generalize, insulting your brothers/sisters in Islam as well. Race has nothing to do with this, it's the kufr of their elite that made them transgress.
        Its not racism i dont know why people say that
        but definetly is influenced by media and environment as naturally no one is born inclined to a race but people are inclined towards features

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        • #34
          Originally posted by neelu View Post
          Statistically very few converts are white men. Roughly 3/4 of converts are women, so that leaves only 1/4 who are men and even fewer when you consider how many of them are white and as Samsandman said, they are in high demand and many come with their own baggage so it is like looking for a needle in a haystack and I agree that if you're not going to open your mind to the possibilities of Muslims from other places then just get yourself some cats.

          There are some white converts on this forum, but I wouldn't be surprised if they were put off by the idea that someone is just considering them cos' of their race. At least it makes a change from being rejected multiple times on the basis of race but two wrongs don't make a right.
          Hit the nail on the head, especially the last portion. It's unbelievable, the whole process and being a revert. In the beginning, I didn't understand the level of, how shall I say it, obsession with appearance. People come out of the woodwork just to comment on eye color or skin. I got to the point where if someone said anything about that to me, it was an automatic rejection. Those types care nothing about who you are as a person and will pop in, even if they're not looking for someone in your age range or country, just to masha'Allah about appearance, oh your eyes are amazing or your skin or you look like Haifa. So gross. Bunch of idiots. They don't look at your profile or try to know anything of substance. Then, when you reject, they start calling you names. If you do give them a chance, they start talking bad about women from their background, oh they're gold diggers or boring and on and on. Disgusting. So thankful that part of my life is over.

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          • #35
            Originally posted by Linkdeutscher View Post

            Insulting or not, it's mere speculation on the part of those who claim it. No actual hard evidence.

            And even if they were - it's their preference now. Tough luck.

            What do you suggest? Marry someone you're not attracted to forcefully against your will to 'break' your 'racism'?

            Do you believe a marriage should be started like that?
            Speculation?
            ​​​​​​You should probably not join in these discussions if you think the effects of european colonisation is 'speculation'. You obviously don't have a clue what you're talking about.
            شَكَوْتُ إلَى وَكِيعٍ سُوءَ حِفْظِي
            فَأرْشَدَنِي إلَى تَرْكِ المعَاصي
            وَأخْبَرَنِي بأَنَّ العِلْمَ نُورٌ
            ونورُ الله لا يهدى لعاصي

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            • #36
              Originally posted by Iwnbd1 View Post

              And then I'm the racist one for having my preference

              It's not right to generalize, insulting your brothers/sisters in Islam as well. Race has nothing to do with this, it's the kufr of their elite that made them transgress.
              i mean if they racist imma insult. I don't like racist people regardless of religion.and the Muslim majority nations do have a history of slavery and racism. There are atheist who are pretty nice people, and there Muslims that look at other Races in disgust. 10 times out of 10 I would choose to be around the atheist.

              but just to let you know I'm not going around treating people like that if you think I'm being racist to people. I'm just stating facts. I live America. I was raised to accept everyone regardless of their race or religious preference.
              Last edited by Luffy1997; 20-02-18, 08:10 AM.

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              • #37
                Originally posted by Luffy1997 View Post

                i mean if they racist imma insult. I don't like racist people regardless of religion.and the Muslim majority nations do have a history of slavery and racism. There are atheist who are pretty nice people, and there Muslims that look at other Races in disgust. 10 times out of 10 I would choose to be around the atheist.

                but just to let you know I'm not going around treating people like that if you think I'm being racist to people. I'm just stating facts. I live America. I was raised to accept everyone regardless of their race or religious preference.
                You should treat muslims better then how you treat kuffar


                Al-Ma'idah 5:54

                يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا مَن يَرْتَدَّ مِنكُمْ عَن دِينِهِۧ فَسَوْفَ يَأْتِى ٱللَّهُ بِقَوْمٍ يُحِبُّهُمْ وَيُحِبُّونَهُ‌وٓ أَذِلَّةٍ عَلَى ٱلْمُؤْمِنِينَ أَعِزَّةٍ عَلَى ٱلْكَٰفِرِينَ يُجَٰهِدُونَ فِى سَبِيلِ ٱللَّهِ وَلَا يَخَافُونَ لَوْمَةَ لَآئِمٍۚ ذَٰلِكَ فَضْلُ ٱللَّهِ يُؤْتِيهِ مَن يَشَآءُۚ وَٱللَّهُ وَٰسِعٌ عَلِيمٌ

                O you who have believed, whoever of you should revert from his religion - Allah will bring forth [in place of them] a people He will love and who will love Him [who are] humble toward the believers, powerful against the disbelievers; they strive in the cause of Allah and do not fear the blame of a critic. That is the favor of Allah ; He bestows it upon whom He wills. And Allah is all-Encompassing and Knowing.

                get Quran App:https://goo.gl/w6rESk

                also yes if theybwant to be their religiom thats fine but we look down at them and believe they are spiritually impure as they do shirk

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                • #38
                  The OP asked a specific question so no need to discuss about several points ..

                  she likes to marry a white guy khalaas if you know someone just let her know lool

                  Ibn Al Qayyim may Allah have mercy on him said: ("
                  The heart on its journey towards Allah the Exalted is like that of a bird. Love is its head, and fear and hope are its two wings. When the head is healthy, then the two wings will fly well. When the head is cut off, the bird will die. When either of two wings is damaged, the bird becomes vulnerable to every hunter and predator..”
                  )

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                  • #39
                    Originally posted by Tayoofa View Post
                    The OP asked a specific question so no need to discuss about several points ..

                    she likes to marry a white guy khalaas if you know someone just let her know lool
                    Lol

                    it's got so serious and political, colonialism has created hatred towards 'white' people too as well as white supremacy.


                    ​​​​​Another endless topic for another thread.

                    I don't know any white reverts that are single. Some are treated like outcasts unfortunately.

                    The OP can get in touch with marriage agencies, I think there is one called Taqwa, just Google it and search for agencies near you.
                    ​​​
                    With marriage, all you can do is spread the word and let people know what you are looking for, make dua and extra prayers by being specific.

                    I don't think anyone can here help you but suggest broadening your preferences which is unlikely as you are attracted to men with white skin, hence the reason you created the thread.

                    I hope it works out for you.
                    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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                    • #40
                      Well apart from me (which i wouldnt reccomend :D ) i know a muslim brother who is very white and his face shines too ma shaa Allah..He is great and is seriously thinking in getting married but he doesnt live in a rich country,but if you take him he is very hardworking and would start working immediately i guess.hes from Balkans,well,if you are interested,ill tell him and find a way to link you guys
                      he is 23-24 years old



                      am his wali i guess luuul

                      no really i am serious about this..think of it..pure european whitish convert
                      Last edited by Aetos; 20-02-18, 04:46 PM.
                      first its angels,then mankind,then jinn,then gog-magog,then shaytan,the its me,the worst of creation

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                      • #41
                        Originally posted by Aetos View Post
                        Well apart from me (which i wouldnt reccomend :D ) i know a muslim brother who is very white and his face shines too ma shaa Allah..He is great and is seriously thinking in getting married but he doesnt live in a rich country,but if you take him he is very hardworking and would start working immediately i guess.hes from Balkans,well,if you are interested,ill tell him and find a way to link you guys
                        he is 23-24 years old



                        am his wali i guess luuul

                        no really i am serious about this..think of it..pure european whitish convert
                        Real Men don't have walees,they are walees.

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