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    Children's stress / problems

    :salams

    I had this question in mind, looking around , and I was wondering if kids today are coping well mentally.
    so I wondered if they are feeling stressed or so, what problems do they have?

    We can say mainly its the school, but what about it was the factors? Friends? Grade expectations? Teachers?
    So i wanted to ask those with kids here. Do they open up to you their problems? Everyone feel free to comment.

    #2
    Re: Children's stress / problems

    I guess the girls are stressed about their weight. Nothing new here. 11 year old, stick thin, stressing over a bar of chocolate she ate, opening the fridge and closing it multiple times before giving in.

    The social media culture of this generation has probably intensified this kind of pressure on girls to a ridiculous level.
    LAA ILAAHA ILLALLAH
    -------------------------------
    "And if you would count the graces of God, never could you be able to count them. Truly, God is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (Qur'aan 16:18)
    NOTE: Please kindly do NOT rep my posts. (Jazaa'akumullah).

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      #3
      Re: Children's stress / problems

      Originally posted by Fakhri View Post
      I guess the girls are stressed about their weight. Nothing new here. 11 year old, stick thin, stressing over a bar of chocolate she ate, opening the fridge and closing it multiple times before giving in.

      The social media culture of this generation has probably intensified this kind of pressure on girls to a ridiculous level.
      Oh ok, something to learn. For me , i can see most generally are stressing over the exam results. Academic stuff. Targets etc,
      Sometimes its their parents who pushes them too hard. While it is good to a certain extent only, but not to the extreme.

      Also cases like bullying etc. Big problem.

      These kids thesedays. sigh social media, I was quite shocked my own nephew too had some social media account, whatsapp etc.
      They are not like us back then, more electronics these days.

      The part about weight you mention is also quite important. We as parents(not one yet), have to help them in their confidence as well, so grooming plays a part.

      Comment


        #4
        Re: Children's stress / problems

        Walaykum asalaam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh

        Some children stress about their family life especially if parents are going through a rough patch. Kids worry about what will happen to them if mum and dad separate/divorce.

        About opening up it probably depends on how close their relationship is with their parents. Also depends some things can be discussed with parents and other things they probably keep to themselves or discuss with friends.

        It also depends on the age of the child. I think it's nice if the children know and have a good relationship with another family member so they are aware they can always talk to someone if they need to.

        Comment


          #5
          Re: Children's stress / problems

          Originally posted by Mintchocchip View Post
          Walaykum asalaam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh

          Some children stress about their family life especially if parents are going through a rough patch. Kids worry about what will happen to them if mum and dad separate/divorce.

          About opening up it probably depends on how close their relationship is with their parents. Also depends some things can be discussed with parents and other things they probably keep to themselves or discuss with friends.

          It also depends on the age of the child. I think it's nice if the children know and have a good relationship with another family member so they are aware they can always talk to someone if they need to.
          :jkk:

          Yes, the emotional trauma that they have to face as a result of that. But at times it depends, some of the cases, the children wants their parents to divorce. (Because one is abusing the other or some undesirable situation). From a bigger stress to a lesser stress. But still, it is a problem.

          That's the problem there, sometimes these parents I notice these days, tend to scold their children more for the minor things or too much at times. These add up, and as a result of fear of getting further scoldings, the children will tend to keep things to themselves. So understanding kids/children go a long way.

          Yes, they open up to siblings more first, before the decision to bring up the matter to parents. That's usually the case. The question of whom you can trust.
          Some of us we face the negative things in life as a child and we grow up, we remember as much as possible for the same not to be done to our children.

          Comment


            #6
            Re: Children's stress / problems

            salaam,

            This is a very loaded question as it has so many variables. Boys will go to dad for certain problems and mom for others same goes for girls. Our job is to ensure they’re doing ok in school and get them the help they need. Outside of that, they should be handle friends issues with no problems. Mash allah, allah blessed me with great kids my oldest is half way throu Go college and my youngest is going be passing 5th grade. I here’s a middle child with all the middle kid issues as well but they’re not too bad lol. Wasalaam sister

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              #7
              Re: Children's stress / problems

              Parents fighting over petty little things constantly and they get so heated sometimes that they bring up their own parents as in mock them. I sometimes feel that I'm the parent. They even fight in front of my 5/6 year old sibling. Mum will start a war over small things and will go on for a good half an hour at the top of her voice. We were always financially on the low because my dad has a gambling issue. He will quit for a good few months then steal money from us and lose it all and then a fight ensues with my parents for the next few weeks. We have to silently endure.

              I just hold everything in tbh cause talking to them would cause even more stress, plus I'm not one to share emotions anyway.

              Comment


                #8
                Re: Children's stress / problems

                Originally posted by Sorrow' View Post
                Parents fighting over petty little things constantly and they get so heated sometimes that they bring up their own parents as in mock them. I sometimes feel that I'm the parent. They even fight in front of my 5/6 year old sibling. Mum will start a war over small things and will go on for a good half an hour at the top of her voice. We were always financially on the low because my dad has a gambling issue. He will quit for a good few months then steal money from us and lose it all and then a fight ensues with my parents for the next few weeks. We have to silently endure.

                I just hold everything in tbh cause talking to them would cause even more stress, plus I'm not one to share emotions anyway.
                I am sorry you are going through this.

                You do need to talk to your parents about this and how they are affecting you and your siblings.

                Do you have any other family members aunty/uncle grandparents or elder cousins that you can talk to?

                When they do argue around your siblings take your siblings into another room where they can't hear what's going on.

                It's not a healthy environment to grow up in. I really do hope you find someone who will help you with your situation.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: Children's stress / problems

                  Originally posted by R1rider View Post
                  salaam,

                  This is a very loaded question as it has so many variables. Boys will go to dad for certain problems and mom for others same goes for girls. Our job is to ensure they’re doing ok in school and get them the help they need. Outside of that, they should be handle friends issues with no problems. Mash allah, allah blessed me with great kids my oldest is half way throu Go college and my youngest is going be passing 5th grade. I here’s a middle child with all the middle kid issues as well but they’re not too bad lol. Wasalaam sister
                  :wswrwb:
                  Sorry I may correct you on that one, I'm not a sister, but a bro
                  Oh ok, yes Im always assuming the case, also due to the fact that we were once children and able to feel such cases.
                  The reason why I ask is also to help the awareness on the children's part. With increase or decrease on somethings, their stress factors are affected too.

                  That's good to hear, they are pretty much semi-independent already now eh? Alhamdulilah.
                  I'm preparing my children inshaAllah in the near future once i have them for these things.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: Children's stress / problems

                    Originally posted by Sorrow' View Post
                    Parents fighting over petty little things constantly and they get so heated sometimes that they bring up their own parents as in mock them. I sometimes feel that I'm the parent. They even fight in front of my 5/6 year old sibling. Mum will start a war over small things and will go on for a good half an hour at the top of her voice. We were always financially on the low because my dad has a gambling issue. He will quit for a good few months then steal money from us and lose it all and then a fight ensues with my parents for the next few weeks. We have to silently endure.

                    I just hold everything in tbh cause talking to them would cause even more stress, plus I'm not one to share emotions anyway.
                    May Allah help you. This is perspective from being a children himself/herself. Parent's don't realise at times that this cause children stress and they keep going on and on and on.
                    How then do they come to their sense and start to see that their children are being hurt in the process.

                    That's patience, your last sentence.
                    All ever the known solution to almost everything. Yes, sometimes we feel helpless in these cases, there's nothing much we can do.
                    We remember it also when we become parents ourselves.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: Children's stress / problems

                      Their stress will lead to strange behaviours and as a result is affecting society as a whole.
                      May Allah help those in need and who are facing such problems.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: Children's stress / problems

                        I think parents should spend some time with their children and listen their to problems and give value.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Re: Children's stress / problems

                          Originally posted by umrahexperts View Post
                          I think parents should spend some time with their children and listen their to problems and give value.
                          True
                          Listening is the first step. Listen till the end, not interrupting halfway then top down all the scoldings immediately etc.
                          They have to remember they were once kids too. Well, a long time ago indeed, but still.
                          Perhaps they thought it was the case, but was it really? Understanding is also key.

                          I think the different stages of children, while they are early toddlers or so they always complain. Halfway around 8 years up till teenage years they will usually keep quiet and try to handle everything on their own themselves. Trying to solve problems on their own at such a young age. While some problems can be solved on their own, other type require support.

                          When no longer there is anyone who can listen attentively, it becomes a problem.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Yes, you are right.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              One of the first and foremost problems and is that Parents forget what it is to be a child.

                              Secondly - Children take much from their environment, so if a parent is divorced from the understanding the child's environment, he/she will eventually never understand the child hence leading to another about how to correct the child.

                              Thirdly - You have to understand a child to understand why a child cannot see a certain point or concept. To achieve this you have to communicate with your child

                              Fourthly - Many parents behaviour is like that symbolic of a product from a shop. Your child is a living, learning human with so much to experience. When a parent's height of happiness and success is based on buying a child something (Like a Xbox, playstation, phones, etc) then its obvious that the problem is on top of the pyramid

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