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How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

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    #61
    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

    Originally posted by Indefinable View Post
    The user assumed it was for me - I clarified that it wasn't.

    Why are you asking who it's for? It's irrelevant.

    I am aware that 'people divorce' - I wanted to know what it's like for the children involved.

    Thanks for your input.
    Well if you know more about the people involved you can be in a better position to offer relevant advice, no?

    If you really want valued input you could always google it and you'll be directed to scholarly work by professionals who really know what impact it can and does have.

    You're welcome.

    Comment


      #62
      Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

      Originally posted by Indefinable View Post
      [MENTION=50185]oshirowanen[/MENTION]
      I would say , never allow jelousy / enmity / pride cause you to abuse legal rights for visitation. A lot of times , women figuire the children will succeed further if they have little to no contact with the father.

      I believe that is a deception from the shayton which will ultimately deteriorate the relationship the kids have with their fathers until , that relationship becomes obsolete. The same situation happens time and time again. The women see the "real him" and figuires they need to escape from this psycho .. But the man is Daddy when it comes to the children and they are not exposed to what you perceive to be the deviant side ( or at least not as exposed )
      It is influenced by shayton because the destruction of family is shaytons greatest attack. Its one thing to be divorced , another to literally lose contact to a Dad/Mom who is actually alive.

      Though my view is based on non Muslim culture. I have no idea how muslims react to divorce / visitations. It is normal amongst Kuffar to have no contact with their Mother / Father ( its usually the father who either takes the back route or is abused by the spiteful mother )

      So yeah , unless the father does hard drugs in front of them , or something that extreme , you should always encourage visits , simply for your childs well-being. Take all the rude comments , unwanted calls , his dreadful voice etc for their sake .. Hey , you're the one who married him.

      Comment


        #63
        Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

        I wish my parents had gotten divorced long before they did. Instead they stayed together "for the children" and my childhood was sucked. My parents could not stand one another, and by the time I was 10, they barley spoke, avoided each other, and fought when they couldn't. The entire house was constantly on edge, and every one was unhappy, This went on for 25 years! It didn't take me long to figure out they were miserable because they were together, and they were only together because of us kids. I felt so much guilt for so long about the whole mess. If it hadn't been me and my siblings they would have gotten divorced (they were completely incomparable) and lived happy separate lives
        Finally my mom had enough, and filed for divorce. Now they are both happily married to other people.

        What I am trying to say is kids aren't dumb, and they will figure out you are only together because of them, don't burden them with that guilt.Happy divorced parents are 1000% better than unhappy married parents.

        Comment


          #64
          Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

          Originally posted by Angel Barchild View Post
          I wish my parents had gotten divorced long before they did. Instead they stayed together "for the children" and my childhood was sucked. My parents could not stand one another, and by the time I was 10, they barley spoke, avoided each other, and fought when they couldn't. The entire house was constantly on edge, and every one was unhappy, This went on for 25 years! It didn't take me long to figure out they were miserable because they were together, and they were only together because of us kids. I felt so much guilt for so long about the whole mess. If it hadn't been me and my siblings they would have gotten divorced (they were completely incomparable) and lived happy separate lives
          Finally my mom had enough, and filed for divorce. Now they are both happily married to other people.

          What I am trying to say is kids aren't dumb, and they will figure out you are only together because of them, don't burden them with that guilt.Happy divorced parents are 1000% better than unhappy married parents.
          The problem is not the divorce. The problem the concept that after the divorce the mother have 100% ownership of the children and cutting ties between children and their fathers and turning the children against the father and worse if the children want to live with the dad the mom will resent this and make it impossible for this to happen the list goes on. That is the problem. No mother can teach a son how to become a man like a father would, yet somehow we still prevent him from staying with his dad when the child of sound age wants to stay with him. No one cares if the mother poison the children against the father, the list goes.

          That is the problem. But knowing that justice is coming in the afterlife where then the victim dad will get his right is full satisfaction to me. So I say to all mothers who want to do this....go ahead and destroy your children's relation with their dad and destroy YOUR children's afterlife. Let me tell you to all the mom's out there who do this, not only society don't care if you do this..but they applaud you for it. So have fun, enjoy your endless power in this world and let there be only one parent mother and father just a name...let the very concept of dad be destroyed...because we will enjoy our sweet revenge in the afterlife. We will get something better than children's love in this world...you are actually giving these men who you think are hurting him in this world great rewards for the afterlife and you are actually destroying yourself and the children who you so call love them. The is actually very funny! Go girl! Actually now I want to get married and have children in hopes that my future wife will do this to me!! Wooot! My future wife will give me such high level of paradise through her abuse! I love it!!

          I changed my entire thinking now!
          Last edited by A500DaBest; 31-08-17, 05:00 PM.
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          Comment


            #65
            Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

            Originally posted by Angel Barchild View Post
            I wish my parents had gotten divorced long before they did. Instead they stayed together "for the children" and my childhood was sucked. My parents could not stand one another, and by the time I was 10, they barley spoke, avoided each other, and fought when they couldn't. The entire house was constantly on edge, and every one was unhappy, This went on for 25 years! It didn't take me long to figure out they were miserable because they were together, and they were only together because of us kids. I felt so much guilt for so long about the whole mess. If it hadn't been me and my siblings they would have gotten divorced (they were completely incomparable) and lived happy separate lives
            Finally my mom had enough, and filed for divorce. Now they are both happily married to other people.

            What I am trying to say is kids aren't dumb, and they will figure out you are only together because of them, don't burden them with that guilt.Happy divorced parents are 1000% better than unhappy married parents.
            Were you the oldest?
            What about younger siblings?

            Comment


              #66
              Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

              Originally posted by Snippets View Post
              Were you the oldest?
              What about younger siblings?
              I am the middle child. My parents were teens when they got married, and had me and my older brother 18 months apart, my younger brother was born 3 years after me. My older brother and I suffered the most, younger brother had it easiest, because he had a naturally cheerful demeanor, and as he was the only child they actually had intentionally. They both doted on him. We were all well into adulthood when they got divorced, and though my brothers were complete dicks about the divorce at first (older brother is a hypocrite he is on marriage #3) after a couple years they both pulled their heads out their collective asses and realized our parents were way happier.

              People need to realize that divorce is not always a bad thing. I hear a lot of people say divorce is the end of a happy marriage, and that is just not true. Happily married people don't get divorced. It's the end of a bad marriage.


              As a side note, I am divorced from a short marriage when I was young. I am re-married (for 15 years now) to the best man on the planet, who my daughter absolutely adores, living a very happy life.

              Comment


                #67
                Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

                I wanted to know how do 5-10 year olds react to divorce.

                Comment


                  #68
                  Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

                  Originally posted by A500DaBest View Post
                  The problem is not the divorce. The problem the concept that after the divorce the mother have 100% ownership of the children and cutting ties between children and their fathers and turning the children against the father and worse if the children want to live with the dad the mom will resent this and make it impossible for this to happen the list goes on. That is the problem. No mother can teach a son how to become a man like a father would, yet somehow we still prevent him from staying with his dad when the child of sound age wants to stay with him. No one cares if the mother poison the children against the father, the list goes.

                  That is the problem. But knowing that justice is coming in the afterlife where then the victim dad will get his right is full satisfaction to me. So I say to all mothers who want to do this....go ahead and destroy your children's relation with their dad and destroy YOUR children's afterlife. Let me tell you to all the mom's out there who do this, not only society don't care if you do this..but they applaud you for it. So have fun, enjoy your endless power in this world and let there be only one parent mother and father just a name...let the very concept of dad be destroyed...because we will enjoy our sweet revenge in the afterlife. We will get something better than children's love in this world...you are actually giving these men who you think are hurting him in this world great rewards for the afterlife and you are actually destroying yourself and the children who you so call love them. The is actually very funny! Go girl! Actually now I want to get married and have children in hopes that my future wife will do this to me!! Wooot! My future wife will give me such high level of paradise through her abuse! I love it!!

                  I changed my entire thinking now!
                  Women are evil.

                  We get it.

                  Comment


                    #69
                    Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

                    Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post
                    I would say , never allow jelousy / enmity / pride cause you to abuse legal rights for visitation. A lot of times , women figuire the children will succeed further if they have little to no contact with the father.

                    I believe that is a deception from the shayton which will ultimately deteriorate the relationship the kids have with their fathers until , that relationship becomes obsolete. The same situation happens time and time again. The women see the "real him" and figuires they need to escape from this psycho .. But the man is Daddy when it comes to the children and they are not exposed to what you perceive to be the deviant side ( or at least not as exposed )
                    It is influenced by shayton because the destruction of family is shaytons greatest attack. Its one thing to be divorced , another to literally lose contact to a Dad/Mom who is actually alive.

                    Though my view is based on non Muslim culture. I have no idea how muslims react to divorce / visitations. It is normal amongst Kuffar to have no contact with their Mother / Father ( its usually the father who either takes the back route or is abused by the spiteful mother )

                    So yeah , unless the father does hard drugs in front of them , or something that extreme , you should always encourage visits , simply for your childs well-being. Take all the rude comments , unwanted calls , his dreadful voice etc for their sake .. Hey , you're the one who married him.
                    Of course - I agree.

                    Every child needs both parents.


                    :jkk:

                    Comment


                      #70
                      Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

                      From my own friends, I'd say making a divorce work for the children usually is manageable in the beginning, even if the parents are bitter, if they all get some help and are able to love their children more than they dislike their spouse. The real problem sets in when either or both parents remarry, and step-parents enter the issue. I believe it's hugely important for the parents to remember that their new spouses are NOT parents to priori children, and the children should not be required to treat them as such.

                      Comment


                        #71
                        Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

                        Originally posted by Indefinable View Post
                        Women are evil.

                        We get it.
                        Lolz
                        It may not be easy, you may not understand it, but you need to have the Imaan to trust Allah when life doesn't make sense.
                        "Whoever intends eternal happiness, then let him hold tight to the threshold of servitude.” ibn Taymiyyah.

                        Comment


                          #72
                          Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

                          Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post
                          SubhanAllah so many problems can occur within the childrens lives i never even thought of some of these

                          May Allah bless us with a beautiful patience and make us more righteous

                          InshAllah divorce never takes place unless its the worst of situations
                          Ameen.

                          Kids have other stresses in life with school etc. They really don't need additional stress because of their parents divorce.

                          Children minds think of so much. The childs age has a lot to do with it.

                          Comment


                            #73
                            Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

                            Originally posted by Snippets View Post
                            I wanted to know how do 5-10 year olds react to divorce.
                            I don't know

                            I just know that kids are like sponges, they absorb everything

                            They remember everything so don't get fooled by their age, they are smart
                            'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                            So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                            Comment


                              #74
                              Re: How Does Separation/Divorce Affect Children?

                              Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                              I don't know

                              I just know that kids are like sponges, they absorb everything

                              They remember everything so don't get fooled by their age, they are smart
                              Good analogy

                              Comment

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