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Relationship with Non-Muslim + responsibilities of becoming a stepdad

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    Relationship with Non-Muslim + responsibilities of becoming a stepdad

    As salaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu

    I hope this message finds you in good health!

    I am a Muslim by birth. Although I do not engage in any haram type activities, I do not consider myself a devout Muslim as in I do not pray 5 times a day nor do I attend Friday prayers or even fast all the days during Ramadan. I am currently in my 3rd year of medical school and I always told myself that when I got my academic life on track, I would start on my spiritual life. As I begun my deep understanding and devotion to Islam, I met a woman through Reddit. She is Mormon but she is looking to convert. I met he through the website where we would talk casually and about Islam. Fast forward many months, I grew to become extremely fond of this woman. She is very sincere about living a rightful life and becoming a Muslim. I think because of how I feel about her, it makes me want to become a better person and a better Muslim. Her eagerness to learn about Islam, her dedication to learning about Islam has sparked a an interest and dedication in myself as well.

    We have met in person and it was an amazing experience. We had a "no hands on" rule to make sure we had no "urges."

    It has come to that time where she would like me to meet her two boys: ages 7 and 12. I have spoken to these boys on the phone and they were very respectful of what I am in school for, my religion, expressed great interest in my hobbies of gaming/fitness and overall, they were very well-behaved!

    My "fear" lies in the fact about what my duties are as a stepdad and more important, as a Muslim. Due a Mormon rule, her boys will be raised as Mormon. Should I consider this an issue? She is fine with raising any children WE have as Muslim.

    There are many resources out there on how to be a good stepdad, so I am here asking for advice on the Islamic portion of being a step parent.

    Thank you for offering any advice or insight you may have!

    Re: Relationship with Non-Muslim + responsibilities of becoming a stepdad


    She as a Muslim woman & a mother is responsible for her 2 boys. How can it be she remains a Muslim but is okay with her 2 sons being disbelievers? What about the father of the 2 boys, is he in the picture? Is he making sure they remain upon mormonism?

    As for yourself. You should not delay in getting more religious, and practicing. You never know what your time will come, so change yourself asap, start praying your salah, and make intention to make up any salah/fasts you've missed.
    Last edited by Mikha’eel; 07-08-17, 03:13 PM.
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      Re: Relationship with Non-Muslim + responsibilities of becoming a stepdad


      In all sincerity brother, if your own Belief is not strong on its own, how can you expect to guide your revert-Muslimah wife?

      Apart from that, here are a few other questions you should ask yourself:

      - If she is sincere towards wanting to be a Muslim, what is she waiting for?
      - How can you be a guide/father to these children when your religion is different to theirs?
      - If you have any children with this woman, how will the religion of their step-siblings impact the Islam of your children?
      - If you and this woman split for any reason (eg. the issue with her Mormon children OR she decides Islam is not for her), how will this impact any children you have with her?

      You must be weary of the fact that (many) children who have grown up in these types of environments develop a warped version of Islam and that you may have this same issue many years down the line.


        Re: Relationship with Non-Muslim + responsibilities of becoming a stepdad

        Nothing makes me boil than some Muslim bros/Sis opting for a non-muslim partner.


        So many Muslimah as a better fit that needs a husband.
        Stop being apologetic to Kuffars!

        If I don't engage with you or reply to any of your question, it's likely because I find you racist and a total waste of time.


          Re: Relationship with Non-Muslim + responsibilities of becoming a stepdad

          I'm sure I read a hadith that said its better to marry a divorce muslimah than a young virgin non muslima.

          In fact, I've read in Ibn Kathir that RasulAllah (SWAS) once made a sahaba divorce his newly married convert wife because he did not want the great sahaba to be setting examples. He said it is recommended to marry a muslimah, an old muslimah rather than a new convert

          And yea bro u gotta get yourself set to the path of deen. Our fate is not in our hands. I've had so many relatives who were born muslim but died in a state of kufr coz they denied the rights of Allah (SWT). It is clear that your ibadah should not be on your terms but rather on the terms commanded by Allah (SWT). With that said its good that u pray a few salaah instead of not praying at all. Just gotta start working on it now asap
          Ask yourself why you were created. Do not let society distract you from seeking the truth.
          Sahih International, 63:3 (Surah Al-Munafiqun)
          That is because they believed, and then they disbelieved; so their hearts were sealed over, and they do not understand.