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how do you guys manage/control your children when they play with electronic devices

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    #16
    Re: how do you guys manage/control your children when they play with electronic devic

    Originally posted by oshirowanen View Post
    You're right, which is why all chores should be optional. They should take initiative for being part of the family, and if they chose to do chores, they get rewarded. Chores should not be inforced IMO, as parents we should explain why they should chose to do chores for being part of the family. If they choose to not do the chores, that's fine, it just means the parents do all the chores, leaving the parents no time to plan any fun activities etc.
    How old are your kids? I think if you still in the getting parenting advice from the internet stage, you're kids must be in lower primary or pre primary. :D

    At a certain age (I think 11-12) the child just has to pitch in because they're part of the team. If you put them in the habit of a payback for chores then how long is that going to carry on, until they're 18? When does it end? Rather don't start something you can't see the end of.

    Chores are not optional. I don't use my time to plan fun activities. I use it to keep the kids alive. Fed, clothed and clean. The least they can do is plan their own fun. If the kids don't do chores they get a ear full from me.

    Either you're too soft on your kids, or I"m a bit hard on them.

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      #17
      Re: how do you guys manage/control your children when they play with electronic devic

      Originally posted by Ikki View Post
      How old are your kids? I think if you still in the getting parenting advice from the internet stage, you're kids must be in lower primary or pre primary. :D

      At a certain age (I think 11-12) the child just has to pitch in because they're part of the team. If you put them in the habit of a payback for chores then how long is that going to carry on, until they're 18? When does it end? Rather don't start something you can't see the end of.

      Chores are not optional. I don't use my time to plan fun activities. I use it to keep the kids alive. Fed, clothed and clean. The least they can do is plan their own fun. If the kids don't do chores they get a ear full from me.

      Either you're too soft on your kids, or I"m a bit hard on them.
      I firmly disagree with forcing them to pitch in, if you can get them to a stage where they realise they must pitch in without being forced, they have learnt a very important life skill. Force removes initiative in a child, which they need as a grown up. So IMO, it's best to parent kids to develop initiative to do chores. Personal parenting preference I guess.

      Getting an ear full from parents only teaches them to get an ear full from their boss in the future for not doing their job.

      Initiative is a very important skill to have as an adult, and it's the parents job to make sure the kids grown up with this skill.

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        #18
        Re: how do you guys manage/control your children when they play with electronic devic

        Originally posted by Ikki View Post
        That was my main issue with tablets. I found online games impossible to put the brakes on because:

        1. Their friends are playing a particular game and want them to join their online group.
        2. The older kids include the little ones in their online games and use their accounts to get upgrades or points for themselves, while helping younger child to get a few points too. Also small child gets to hang out with teenagers.
        3. They get addicted to getting another win or high score etc.
        4. The game keeps sending them reminders.
        5. You ban one game another one starts.
        6. You don't know what kids of wierdo's they are interacting with. Or who is saying what. They may get involved in adult conversations.

        I realised there really wasn't any reason for them to have tablets at all. There's plenty of other stuff they can use to make their brains go numb, like watching the paint dry.
        Some games do have the profanity checks but rarely. So kids are now learning these words at quite a very young age. if not games, then movies. I think muslims should create more of the islamic brand of games. create a safe environment etc. but the thing is the games out there always have the pull factor. more fun they say. Games are addictive yes.

        haha yes, you ban one game and another starts. im ok with creativity games though, puzzles and all that. like math and stuff. I think games also have some kind of "changing the persons attitude effect". the character etc. (like trying to be a hero etc)
        the thing about tablets are also the video-sharing websites. the comments are really harsh at times. either they are not playing games, or watching games on video-sharing websites.

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          #19
          Re: how do you guys manage/control your children when they play with electronic devic

          Originally posted by oshirowanen View Post
          I firmly disagree with forcing them to pitch in, if you can get them to a stage where they realise they must pitch in without being forced, they have learnt a very important life skill. Force removes initiative in a child, which they need as a grown up. So IMO, it's best to parent kids to develop initiative to do chores. Personal parenting preference I guess.

          Getting an ear full from parents only teaches them to get an ear full from their boss in the future for not doing their job.

          Initiative is a very important skill to have as an adult, and it's the parents job to make sure the kids grown up with this skill.

          I think both of you have your own points. in the end its up the individual family i guess, different family different kind of conditions/situations. they will know their children best and scenarios. also it depends on the age group of the children. For me during my childhood, i was at times forced to do chores because honestly lazy(guilty). but most of the times, i was asked to help, so there was no forcing or initiative in that matter. later when i grew up the initiative comes in, because maturity. if the initiative in helping parents comes at a very early stage of growing up, then that is a very very good sign. education is important, the child can learn that he/she get rewards for helping their family.

          Regarding the getting an ear full i believe discipline is also important. Kids need discipline. Not really getting an ear full literally but some kind of discipline. doing Chores early are about developing good habits also.

          but i wont really feel all this yet as a parent because i havent had kids yet. so lack of experience.

          Comment


            #20
            Re: how do you guys manage/control your children when they play with electronic devic

            Internet fully disabled, some games downloaded from time when they weren't.

            Comment


              #21
              Re: how do you guys manage/control your children when they play with electronic devic

              Just take your kids out more, spend quality time with them. And if you need to use your phone or another electronic device, don't use it in front of them as they will want to imitate you.

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                #22
                Re: how do you guys manage/control your children when they play with electronic devic

                Originally posted by HelloEverybody View Post
                Internet fully disabled, some games downloaded from time when they weren't.
                Thanks , you mean download those games then put them on offline eh without internet connection. ok

                Comment


                  #23
                  Re: how do you guys manage/control your children when they play with electronic devic

                  Originally posted by Deeni Akh View Post
                  Just take your kids out more, spend quality time with them. And if you need to use your phone or another electronic device, don't use it in front of them as they will want to imitate you.
                  thanks for the advices,brother. yes, i guess this will work, once they see nature or outside surroundings a lot more often, they will want to spend lesser time with their electronic devices, and get addicted less.
                  imitation is also a strong factor. i like writing, hopefully when i have kids one day they follow me writing. And reading.

                  I think this imitation part is also relevant with regards to the chores discussion above. If they see you doing chores, they might follow too hopefully.

                  Comment


                    #24
                    Re: how do you guys manage/control your children when they play with electronic devic

                    Originally posted by MuslimThinker View Post
                    Thanks , you mean download those games then put them on offline eh without internet connection. ok
                    Some games work without Internet, not all. These were downloaded when kids still had the internet. I didn't care about games, I was more worried about social media and video providers such as youtube. Problem was gore videos, anti-Islamic and generally lewd content.

                    Comment


                      #25
                      Re: how do you guys manage/control your children when they play with electronic devic

                      Originally posted by MuslimThinker View Post
                      thanks for the advices,brother. yes, i guess this will work, once they see nature or outside surroundings a lot more often, they will want to spend lesser time with their electronic devices, and get addicted less.
                      imitation is also a strong factor. i like writing, hopefully when i have kids one day they follow me writing. And reading.

                      I think this imitation part is also relevant with regards to the chores discussion above. If they see you doing chores, they might follow too hopefully.
                      Completely agree bro :up:

                      :brf:

                      Comment


                        #26
                        Re: how do you guys manage/control your children when they play with electronic devic

                        Easiest way is to hide the charger

                        Comment


                          #27
                          Re: how do you guys manage/control your children when they play with electronic devic

                          give them an alternative and don't deprive them of their fun especially during childhood.
                          take them outdoors and show them the world and nature
                          play board games with them
                          read books

                          most important rule is to make sure no one around the kids do it keep it away from your families as children do what adults do.

                          i for one hate it if there are 2 or more people in a room and one person has their head down to a phone ... start a convo will you or eat together just don't pull your phone out playing games or txting day in and out.

                          i'm not married or anything but this is my family's attitude to these things and its how i was raised, finally its how i treat the cousins etc.

                          Comment


                            #28
                            Re: how do you guys manage/control your children when they play with electronic devic

                            Originally posted by babadods View Post
                            give them an alternative and don't deprive them of their fun especially during childhood.
                            take them outdoors and show them the world and nature
                            play board games with them
                            read books

                            most important rule is to make sure no one around the kids do it keep it away from your families as children do what adults do.

                            i for one hate it if there are 2 or more people in a room and one person has their head down to a phone ... start a convo will you or eat together just don't pull your phone out playing games or txting day in and out.

                            i'm not married or anything but this is my family's attitude to these things and its how i was raised, finally its how i treat the cousins etc.
                            Thanks
                            yeah board games, really. Can't wait to have kids and play with them those, been years since i played board games.
                            Im not married either actually, just preparing and trying to help the young ones around me, nephews nieces and for knowledge.

                            its good that your family culture keep this good habit :up:

                            Comment


                              #29
                              Re: how do you guys manage/control your children when they play with electronic devic

                              Originally posted by MuslimThinker View Post
                              Thanks
                              yeah board games, really. Can't wait to have kids and play with them those, been years since i played board games.
                              Im not married either actually, just preparing and trying to help the young ones around me, nephews nieces and for knowledge.

                              its good that your family culture keep this good habit :up:
                              yeah man, IA i hope you grow up be be a man who can do justice to the people around you and your kids, and that you marry someone pious.

                              Comment


                                #30
                                Re: how do you guys manage/control your children when they play with electronic devic

                                those devices are a big fitna. whenever I go and visit my sisters place, I see every one of their kids just glued to their phone or ipad all day long!

                                that's all they are interested in doing. I hope to give a phone to my kids when they are 18 inshallah :)

                                at the moment I just let my 3 year old watch cartoons on my phone, 30 mins max, same for TV. and I try not to do that every day.
                                Know that the life of this world is but amusement and diversion and adornment and boasting to one another and competition in increase of wealth and children...

                                -Quran (57:20)

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