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how do you guys manage/control your children when they play with electronic devices

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    how do you guys manage/control your children when they play with electronic devices

    Salam

    as per subject
    I have noticed a lot of children spend their time away on gadgets and i want to ask you guys this,
    how do you guys manage/control your children when they are playing their electronic devices? (from spending too much time on those devices like smartphones ipad etc? ) other than the setting up of rules etc.
    and what is your opinion on this? their attention etc

    I thought it be beneficial for all of us, since this affects most of us.
    Last edited by MuslimThinker; 10-04-17, 11:31 AM.

    #2
    Re: how do you guys manage/control your children when they play with electronic devic

    Originally posted by MuslimThinker View Post
    Salam

    as per subject
    I have noticed a lot of children spend their time away on gadgets and i want to ask you guys this,
    how do you guys manage/control your children when they are playing their electronic devices? (from spending too much time on those devices like smartphones ipad etc? ) other than the setting up of rules etc.
    and what is your opinion on this? their attention etc

    I thought it be beneficial for all of us, since this affects most of us.
    I try to teach important life skills at the same time. As in, you have to earn time on the electronical devices by doing chores. The more time you spend doing chores per day, the more time you get for fun. The chores are completely optional. I'm hoping this builds delayed gratification, where they want to work and enjoy the result of their work in the end. If they chose to do no chores, then they get no fun on the electrical devices. Plus, I never pressurise them to do chores, they have to chose to do them themselves.

    Hopefully, this builds initiative in them too!
    Last edited by oshirowanen; 10-04-17, 11:56 AM.

    Comment


      #3
      Re: how do you guys manage/control your children when they play with electronic devic

      Originally posted by oshirowanen View Post
      I try to teach important life skills at the same time. As in, you have to earn time on the electronical devices by doing chores. The more time you spend doing chores per day, the more time you get for fun. The chores are completely optional. I'm hoping this builds delayed gratification, where they want to work and enjoy the result of their work in the end. If they chose to do no chores, then they get no fun on the electrical devices. Plus, I never pressurise them to do chores, they have to chose to do them themselves.

      Hopefully, this builds initiative in them too!
      Thank you, yes i agree that's one way. by rewarding them for the work they put in. at least they did something beneficial alongside.

      Comment


        #4
        Re: how do you guys manage/control your children when they play with electronic devic

        You can put K9 on their devices
        "Had Allah lifted the veil for his slave and shown him how He handles his affairs for him, and how Allah is more keen for the benefit of the slave than his own self, his heart would have melted out of the love for Allah and would have been torn to pieces out of thankfulness to Allah. Therefore if the pains of this world tire you do not grieve. For it may be that Allah wishes to hear your voice by way of duaa. So pour out your desires in prostration and forget about it and know; that verily Allah does not forget it."
        - Ibn al Qayyim (rahimahullah)

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          #5
          Re: how do you guys manage/control your children when they play with electronic devic

          My son who is 6 recently got super interested in playing minecraft on our iPad. At first he was playing a few minutes here and there but now he is crazy about it. So I have started telling him, if you do this and that first (getting dressed, eat, brush etc) then you can sit for a while. And I give him, lets say 40 mins. Then later during the day if he wants to play again I give him a max amount of mins for how long he can sit. At the moment Im deciding from time to time how long he gets to sit but I want to decide like a max amount a mins or hours for the day. Lets say on a school day 1 hour and he can use it whenever he wants after he comes home and divide the time how he wants. On an off day, probably longer. We will see.

          Comment


            #6
            Re: how do you guys manage/control your children when they play with electronic devic

            Originally posted by Halolani View Post
            My son who is 6 recently got super interested in playing minecraft on our iPad. At first he was playing a few minutes here and there but now he is crazy about it. So I have started telling him, if you do this and that first (getting dressed, eat, brush etc) then you can sit for a while. And I give him, lets say 40 mins. Then later during the day if he wants to play again I give him a max amount of mins for how long he can sit. At the moment Im deciding from time to time how long he gets to sit but I want to decide like a max amount a mins or hours for the day. Lets say on a school day 1 hour and he can use it whenever he wants after he comes home and divide the time how he wants. On an off day, probably longer. We will see.
            Thanks.
            Oh ok, setting time limits eh. My nephew also played minecraft, but at times it get longer than an hour. Its hard to stop. I think im going to try explore those auto-timeout sessions applications. where they auto-lock after a certain period of time. Minecraft helps creativity and kids need to de-stress after school i guess.

            Comment


              #7
              Re: how do you guys manage/control your children when they play with electronic devic

              Just take it away.

              No child needs a tablet. They need a phone when they are older and they are out with friends, or after school sports and you need to contact them.

              I've tried everything. Chores for time online, limiting time to after school only, etc etc. I couldn't be bothered with the negotiations of how much time each chore is worth, or the "I'm just saving it" that lasts for another half an hour. I hate them playing online games and iteracting with god knows who. Like clash of clans etc.

              Now I've just taken it away and expect the kids to interact with each other. They can play playstation at the end of the day, so at least they're playing together.

              They use the PC in my room for homework.

              Nothing else.

              Comment


                #8
                Re: how do you guys manage/control your children when they play with electronic devic

                Originally posted by Ikki View Post
                Just take it away.

                No child needs a tablet. They need a phone when they are older and they are out with friends, or after school sports and you need to contact them.

                I've tried everything. Chores for time online, limiting time to after school only, etc etc. I couldn't be bothered with the negotiations of how much time each chore is worth, or the "I'm just saving it" that lasts for another half an hour. I hate them playing online games and iteracting with god knows who. Like clash of clans etc.

                Now I've just taken it away and expect the kids to interact with each other. They can play playstation at the end of the day, so at least they're playing together.

                They use the PC in my room for homework.

                Nothing else.
                But that's a good percentage of what parenting is.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: how do you guys manage/control your children when they play with electronic devic

                  Originally posted by oshirowanen View Post
                  But that's a good percentage of what parenting is.
                  If it was my parenting style be pretty one dimensional and my roles would be lacking in variety. Maybe its a mum/dad difference.

                  Mums actually have parenting 'jobs' to do while Dads just fill in here and there with non essentials?

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: how do you guys manage/control your children when they play with electronic devic

                    Originally posted by Ikki View Post
                    If it was my parenting style be pretty one dimensional and my roles would be lacking in variety. Maybe its a mum/dad difference.

                    Mums actually have parenting 'jobs' to do while Dads just fill in here and there with non essentials?
                    https://www.familyeducation.com/life...ortance-chores

                    No structured chores means the kids will grow up and be missing important life skills, which will make their future life more difficult.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: how do you guys manage/control your children when they play with electronic devic

                      Originally posted by Ikki View Post
                      Just take it away.

                      No child needs a tablet. They need a phone when they are older and they are out with friends, or after school sports and you need to contact them.

                      I've tried everything. Chores for time online, limiting time to after school only, etc etc. I couldn't be bothered with the negotiations of how much time each chore is worth, or the "I'm just saving it" that lasts for another half an hour. I hate them playing online games and iteracting with god knows who. Like clash of clans etc.

                      Now I've just taken it away and expect the kids to interact with each other. They can play playstation at the end of the day, so at least they're playing together.

                      They use the PC in my room for homework.

                      Nothing else.
                      yeah, im concerned as well with regards to the interacting part with other players online. the language they use etc.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: how do you guys manage/control your children when they play with electronic devic

                        Originally posted by oshirowanen View Post
                        https://www.familyeducation.com/life...ortance-chores

                        No structured chores means the kids will grow up and be missing important life skills, which will make their future life more difficult.
                        I get my kids to do chores because they need to be done. Because they live here with the rest of us and have to pull their age appropriate weight. Not because they're doing me or their dad a favour. I don't like to link it to immediate payback or to luxuries. Most stuff in life we do because we are responsible for our family, not because we get instant gratification from it.

                        We hang the washing out so we have clean clothes to wear, not because we want to sit in front of the xbox for an hour.

                        I've found linking chores to luxuries leads to a slightly skewed sense of reality. Kids don't really get a explanation of why they are doing those things. They just get into the habit of tidying up their lego because they want 10 mins on game, instead of realising it's untidy to leave stuff lying around and dangerous for the elderly who may trip, and babies who may eat them. It kind of teaches them to do anything they're told just to get some small gratification, more of a pavlovian response rather than learning skills valualable to the family and the real world. I think kids learn to sell themselves short that way.

                        Also, it doesn't lead to a sense of responsibility and acomplishment. E.g. I put the lego away, and grandad can sit on the sofa and not have to step on stuff, or guests came round and didnt' see my mess.

                        I've been through a whole story arc with "10 mins" for chores and decided it just wasn't worth it.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Re: how do you guys manage/control your children when they play with electronic devic

                          Originally posted by Ikki View Post
                          I get my kids to do chores because they need to be done. Because they live here with the rest of us and have to pull their age appropriate weight. Not because they're doing me or their dad a favour. I don't like to link it to immediate payback or to luxuries. Most stuff in life we do because we are responsible for our family, not because we get instant gratification from it.

                          We hang the washing out so we have clean clothes to wear, not because we want to sit in front of the xbox for an hour.

                          I've found linking chores to luxuries leads to a slightly skewed sense of reality. Kids don't really get a explanation of why they are doing those things. They just get into the habit of tidying up their lego because they want 10 mins on game, instead of realising it's untidy to leave stuff lying around and dangerous for the elderly who may trip, and babies who may eat them. It kind of teaches them to do anything they're told just to get some small gratification, more of a pavlovian response rather than learning skills valualable to the family and the real world. I think kids learn to sell themselves short that way.

                          Also, it doesn't lead to a sense of responsibility and acomplishment. E.g. I put the lego away, and grandad can sit on the sofa and not have to step on stuff, or guests came round and didnt' see my mess.

                          I've been through a whole story arc with "10 mins" for chores and decided it just wasn't worth it.
                          You're right, which is why all chores should be optional. They should take initiative for being part of the family, and if they chose to do chores, they get rewarded. Chores should not be inforced IMO, as parents we should explain why they should chose to do chores for being part of the family. If they choose to not do the chores, that's fine, it just means the parents do all the chores, leaving the parents no time to plan any fun activities etc.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Re: how do you guys manage/control your children when they play with electronic devic

                            Originally posted by MuslimThinker View Post
                            yeah, im concerned as well with regards to the interacting part with other players online. the language they use etc.
                            That was my main issue with tablets. I found online games impossible to put the brakes on because:

                            1. Their friends are playing a particular game and want them to join their online group.
                            2. The older kids include the little ones in their online games and use their accounts to get upgrades or points for themselves, while helping younger child to get a few points too. Also small child gets to hang out with teenagers.
                            3. They get addicted to getting another win or high score etc.
                            4. The game keeps sending them reminders.
                            5. You ban one game another one starts.
                            6. You don't know what kids of wierdo's they are interacting with. Or who is saying what. They may get involved in adult conversations.

                            I realised there really wasn't any reason for them to have tablets at all. There's plenty of other stuff they can use to make their brains go numb, like watching the paint dry.
                            Last edited by Ikki; 13-04-17, 09:37 AM.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: how do you guys manage/control your children when they play with electronic devic

                              Originally posted by Ikki View Post
                              That was my main issue with tablets. I found online games impossible to put the brakes on because:

                              1. Their friends are playing a particular game and want them to join their online group.
                              2. The older kids include the little ones in their online games and use their accounts to get upgrades or points for themselves, while helping younger child to get a few points too. Also small child gets to hang out with teenagers.
                              3. They get addicted to getting another win or high score etc.
                              4. The game keeps sending them reminders.
                              5. You ban one game another one starts.

                              I realised there really wasn't any reason for them to have tablets at all. There's plenty of other stuff they can use to make their brains go numb, like watching the paint dry.
                              All in all, games should be avoided, as there seems to be a link between games and increasing unemployment rate in young adults:

                              http://www.economist.com/blogs/econo...st-explains-24

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