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Your first child: son or daughter and why?

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    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

    Does it really matter? ... No, it does not. To have a healthy, and pious, child is one of the biggest blessings of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.

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      Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

      Originally posted by dots View Post
      Does it really matter? ... No, it does not. To have a healthy, and pious, child is one of the biggest blessings of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
      It matters yes. Having a healthy baby is the MOST important thing but if you don't think gender is important than you should really hear the stories about man divorcing their wives because she didn't give birth to any boys
      Don't depend too much on anyone in this world because even your own shadow leaves you when you are in the darkness

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        Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

        Originally posted by Allah's_Servant View Post
        It matters yes. Having a healthy baby is the MOST important thing but if you don't think gender is important than you should really hear the stories about man divorcing their wives because she didn't give birth to any boys
        I am one of many girls and never have I witnessed my dad regret having only daughters or blame my mom or his kismet or cuss on having so many girls, not even after losing 3 sons. Then again men like my dad are rare, indeed. Things like these matters to those who are either ignorant, cultural oriented and/or just do not associate same value/importance to girls as they do to the boys.

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          Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

          No preference. Both are cute :D It's a Maryam if it's a daughter and an Ibrahim if a son.

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            Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

            Originally posted by Allah's_Servant View Post
            It matters yes. Having a healthy baby is the MOST important thing but if you don't think gender is important than you should really hear the stories about man divorcing their wives because she didn't give birth to any boys
            Hmm, the Nabi :saw: had mostly daughters, and loved them and respected them, treated them extremely well- so we should follow his example, not a cultural tradition.
            وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ - 31:19

            And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys."


            أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

            Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


            Please take a look at my travel booking website : https://destinationfindertravel.com/

            Please take a look at my blog : http://thinkingmuslima.blogspot.co.uk/

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              Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

              The poll should have a third option for "Doesn't matter to me either way" as I think there are parents who don't really have a preference.
              The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

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                Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

                Originally posted by LondonGal View Post
                I would never make dua for a specific gender. It's easy for us to say, I would love a boy cos he'd do xyz or i would love a girl cos she'd do xyz.

                But these are massive assumptions and stereotypes.

                Our boy could end up being a drug dealer or a womanizer whilst our daughter could get into shoplifting or whatever

                We just don't know.

                I've always made dua that Allah blesses me with healthy children that are righteous and good to their parents in old age. Regardless if that's 3girls or 6boys.
                My mom is asked me that question years ago and this is how I answered. I pondered and pondered and put aside my desires and answered, "It does not matter for me. What matters is this: The child is healthy (nowadays so many children are born with birth defects and mental redardation), good character (how many children daughter or son are good to their parents in old age?),and have strong Iman and die Muslim in the end. It is irrelevant at the end if you have such sweet spot for girls or love boys when the end of it all they lack imam and their destintation is hellfire. If such blessings are put to girls then girls if such blesings are put to boys then boys. It is not what is between the legs I am looking for it is the health, character and iman are what I look for a child.

                I don't want a daughter who will grow up a feminist man hating lesbian as a daughter. No thanks. Nor do I want a daughter who she feels she is her boss and no one tells her what to do and go out day and night partying having boyfriend or even girlfriend left and right. Nor do I want a daughter who is arrogant and arguemtative all the time and it is her or the highway. I don't want a son whose is gay, criminal, drug dealers, argumentative his way or the highway.

                What matters of the gender if the package that comes with it is disaster? They all sweet at the beginning...but what you get when they reach adult THAT IS WHAT COUNTS. Raising children in the west is hard for both genders. How can you protect your son from pornography or bad friends. How do you protect your daughter from walking with non muslim girl and believing the women empowerment mantra that is infesting the west?

                If I was to choose between boy or girl I woudl choose neither. I have enough in my plate in the afterlife....addding responsbility on my kneck from other mouths to feed no...thanks!
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                  Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

                  I always wanted a son...didn't want my old clothes going to waste.

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                    Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

                    Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
                    I always wanted a son...didn't want my old clothes going to waste.
                    again it is irrelevant what we want. You get a son, he goes to paradise you end up in hellfire...you gain nothing or vice versa. Focus on the character, imam and health of the child and not gender. Focus on yourself in achieving success in the afterlife In the end, the things you get in paradise is more better than any son or daughter or mother or father or wealth or intelligence of this world. We need to think in the bigger picture more than i want to have a million dollar or be the smartest person in the world or have pretty sweet daughters or have sons to play with and teach him to be a man or have power or or or...all of these are wordily things. I never look at it this way...I look at in the perspective of deen and that is it.
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                      Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

                      LOL [MENTION=104157]zi-zizou[/MENTION]! That's nice

                      Comment


                        Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

                        Originally posted by A500DaBest View Post
                        again it is irrelevant what we want. You get a son, he goes to paradise you end up in hellfire...you gain nothing or vice versa. Focus on the character, imam and health of the child and not gender. Focus on yourself in achieving success in the afterlife In the end, the things you get in paradise is more better than any son or daughter or mother or father or wealth or intelligence of this world. We need to think in the bigger picture more than i want to have a million dollar or be the smartest person in the world or have pretty sweet daughters or have sons to play with and teach him to be a man or have power or or or...all of these are wordily things. I never look at it this way...I look at in the perspective of deen and that is it.
                        Isn't is true that whoever raises two daughters and treats them well will be admitted into Jannah?

                        It was narrated on the authority of Jabir that the Prophet ﷺsaid: "‘Whoever has three daughters whom he gives refuge to, provides for and shows mercy to, Paradise is certainly guaranteed for him.” A man asked, “And (for) two, O Messenger of Allah?” He ﷺreplied: “And also (for the one who has) two (daughters)." [Ahmad] [Al-Bukhari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad]
                        وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ - 31:19

                        And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys."


                        أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

                        Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


                        Please take a look at my travel booking website : https://destinationfindertravel.com/

                        Please take a look at my blog : http://thinkingmuslima.blogspot.co.uk/

                        Comment


                          Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

                          Originally posted by LailaTheMuslim View Post
                          Isn't is true that whoever raises two daughters and treats them well will be admitted into Jannah?

                          It was narrated on the authority of Jabir that the Prophet ﷺsaid: "‘Whoever has three daughters whom he gives refuge to, provides for and shows mercy to, Paradise is certainly guaranteed for him.” A man asked, “And (for) two, O Messenger of Allah?” He ﷺreplied: “And also (for the one who has) two (daughters)." [Ahmad] [Al-Bukhari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad]
                          2 or 3

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                            Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

                            I dont care as long as they are like julaybeeb or nusayba ra

                            Comment


                              Re: Your first child: son or daughter and why?

                              I always dreamed of having an older brother, or well.. I have one but he died in the womb in month 9..., so I always wanted the first to be a boy so he can be someones big brother. And my first and only child was a son. But of course a girl would have made me just as happy :D

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