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The Newborn Child Born into Islam - Qur'an and Sunnah on parenting

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    The Newborn Child Born into Islam - Qur'an and Sunnah on parenting

    Children are a source of delight and an adornment for the world
    granted by Allaah to their parents, they give vigour to the hearts,
    joy to the souls, pleasure to the eyes. They are the fruit from whom
    good is to be hoped for when they frequently supplicate:

    "Our Lord! Bestow on them your Mercy as they did bring me up when I
    was small"

    and they are the ones in every nation upon whom hope for the future
    lies, and they are the youth of tomorrow upon whose shoulders the
    call to Islaam is carried. Indeed Islaam has indeed elevated the
    status of children and has laid down manners for their treatment
    relating to all their affairs and each stage of their and from these
    are the manners for welcoming their arrival in this life.

    Our Prophet (SAW) was a living example, educating, cultivating the
    Muslims upon the practices of Islaam, teaching them how to worship
    their Lord in the best of ways. But a number of Muslims have strayed
    from his pure teachings and have substituted that which is gold for
    that which worthless.

    So here are the manners the Prophet (SAW) taught us with regards our

    Encouragement to have Children

    Allaah says, "So now have sexual relations with them,, and seek that
    which Allaah has ordained for you."

    And the Prophet (SAW) said, "Marry the loving and fertile because
    through you, I will compete with the nations for superiority in
    numbers"(Abu Dawood)

    And it is important that the Parents bring up their children upon
    righteousness, so that the Parents will benefit from them during
    their lives and after their death. Allaah's Messenger (SAW) said,

    "A servant will have his rank raised and will say, 'O my Lord how has
    this come about for me?' He says, 'through your sons after you
    seeking forgiveness for you'"(ibn Maajah)

    Know that what has preceded applies equally to both boys and girls,
    and indeed Islaam has encouraged the bringing up of girls, and Allaah
    condemns those that are distressed at the birth of a girl, and the
    Messenger (SAW) came elevating the status of this gift from Allaah,

    "whoever takes care of two girls until they reach adulthood - he and
    I will come together on the Day of Resurrection (like this) - and he
    interlaced his two fingers"(Muslim)

    meaning in Paradise. So can their be a greater honour given to

    Giving the good news of the Birth

    The near of kin who are anxiously waiting should be informed so that
    they can stop worrying and congratulate the parents and supplicate
    for the baby. Allaah mentions this good news being conveyed to a
    number of His Prophets, from them Zakariyyah of his son Yahya,

    "Then the angels called him, while he was standing in prayer in a
    private room (saying), 'Allaah gives you glad tidings of Yahya'"

    Giving the Adhaan in the ear of the newborn

    The first practice to do is to make the adhaan in the ear of the
    baby, so that the first words that the baby hears is the name of
    Allaah, and the kalima.

    It is to be given straight after the birth, or very soon afterwards
    as he (SAW) did with his grandson al-Husayn, as is related by Abu
    Raafi' who said,

    "I saw the Prophet give the adhaan for prayer in the ear of al-Husayn
    ibn Alee when his mother Faatimah gave birth to him," (Tirmidhee)

    It should be given with it's usual wording in a voice which is
    audible to the baby, not so loudly that it risks harm to the baby or
    alarms it.

    Only the adhaan is to be given, not the iqaamah as well as there is
    no authentic evidence to support this. Giving the adhaan only is also
    the reported practice of the Khaleefah Umar bin Abdul Azeez. This is
    closer to the sunnah, and Allaah knows best.

    The sunnah has not specified as to which ear it should be given,
    however the Messenger (SAW) used to love to do good actions starting
    from the right, so it would be more appropriate to give the adhaan in
    the right ear.

    4) The Tahneek

    This means to softening a date and then rubbing the palate of the new-
    born with it just after the birth or soon after. This is done by
    putting a piece of the softened date on the finger and rubbing it
    from left to right in the mouth of the baby.

    Ibn Hajr said, "if one is not able to find a dry date, then a fresh
    date should be used, and if that is not available then anything
    sweet." (Fath 9/588)

    It is not essential to chew the date rather it may be softened in any
    way. The action of chewing as reported in the sunnah was something
    specific to the Messenger (SAW) due to the blessings that Allaah had
    placed in his saliva.

    It is done by the father or the mother or anyone from the People of
    Knowledge whose supplication is hoped would be accepted. So he should
    perform tahneek and supplicate for the child as was the practice of
    the Companions.

    Imaam Nawawee says, " scholars are agreed upon the recommendation of
    performing tahneek upon the baby after it's birth." (Sharh Saheeh
    Muslim 4/122)

    Aaishah (ra) reports, "new-born children used to be brought to the
    Messenger of Allaah and he would supplicate for blessings for them,
    and rub a chewed date upon their palate." (Muslim)

    Naming the child

    The baby may be named on the day of it's birth or later on the
    seventh day or past the seventh day, as this is what is clear after
    study of all the evidences from the sunnah.

    It is the father or the mother who chose the name for the baby. If
    they differ amongst themselves then it is the father who has the
    choice, he may name it himself or give his wife the right to choose.
    The fact that this is the right of the father is shown by the
    principle that the child is ascribed and attributed to the father, as
    Allaah says,

    "Call them (adopted sons) by (the names of) their fathers, that is
    more just in the Sight of Allaah"

    It is also allowed for the parents to allow others to name the child,
    since our Prophet (SAW) used to name some of the children of his

    The name should carry a good and praiseworthy meaning as the
    Messenger (SAW) said,

    "On the Day of Resurrection, you will be called by your names and
    your fathers names, so make your names good." (Abu Dawood)

    It is recommended to call oneself a servant of Allaah (Abdullaah) or
    the servant of any of the names of Allaah. Then it is recommended to
    name a child after a prophet, due to the hadeeth,

    "call yourselves by the names of the Prophets" (Abu Dawood)

    and the hadeeth,

    "a son was born to me this night and I called him after my forefather
    Ibraaheem" (Muslim)

    Then it is recommended to name the child after any pious person in
    the hope that it will become like him/her. Then it is recommended to
    name by any name which has good meaning.

    It is forbidden to name a child with a name that denote servitude to
    other than Allaah, for example Abd an-Nabi, Abd ar-Rasool etc, just
    as it is forbidden to name them with names that are particular to the
    Unbelievers like George, Michael, Susan etc.

    The names of tyrants and evil personalities should be avoided such as
    Fir'awn, Qaroon, Abu Lahab etc.. Likewise it is disliked to name with
    the names of the Surahs of the Qur'aan like 'Taa Haa' or 'Yaa Seen'
    as is reported from Imaam Maalik and others. There is no authentic
    hadeeth which ascribes the above two as being names of the Prophet

    6) The Aqeeqah

    After the seventh day of the arrival of the new-born, as a form of
    welcome for it and to give thanks to the One who gave the blessings,
    it is prescribed to slaughter a sheep. The Messenger (SAW) said,

    "Every child is in pledge for it's Aqeeqah which is sacrificed for it
    on its seventh day, and it is named on it, and its head is shaved"
    (Abu Dawood)

    If the new-born is a boy then two sheep are to be sacrificed, and if
    it is a girl then one sheep. This is the position of the majority of
    the scholars and Companions. The Prophet (SAW) said,

    "for the boy two equal sheep, and for the girl, a single sheep." (Ibn

    So it is permissible to sacrifice the male or female sheep or goat,
    and this is best. As for sacrificing other animals then the scholars
    have differed over this.

    The sacrifice should be done by the father or a close relative, for
    our Prophet (SAW) performed the Aqeeqah for his two grandsons. It is
    also obligatory to mention the name of Allaah over it while
    sacrificing, and if a close relative is performing the Aqeeqah then
    he should add, 'this aqeeqah is the Aqeeqah of so and so' mentioning
    the name of the person on whose behalf he is performing the aqeeqah,
    as is reported in the hadeeth related by al-Bayhaqee.

    The meat of the sacrifice may be distributed cooked or uncooked,, but
    it is preferred that it should be cooked as this leads to greater
    blessing as mentioned by a group of the scholars.

    Shaving the baby's head

    On the seventh day after the birth the head of the baby should be
    shaved. So when al-Hasan was born the Prophet (SAW) told his
    daughter, Faatima (RA),

    "shave his head and give the weight of his hair in silver to the
    poor" (Ahmad)

    The right side of the head should be shaved first, then the left as
    mentioned in the hadeeth,

    "shave, and he indicated to the right side of his head, and then the
    left" (Muslim)

    It is not permissible to shave a part of the head and leave a part,
    as this was prohibited by the Messenger (SAW) as reported by al-
    Bukhaaree. The strongest view seems to be that the head of the boy or
    the girl should be shaved, as is reported that Faatimah weighed the
    hair of her daughter (Muwatta) but the scholars differ on this, and
    Allaah knows best.

    The shaving should be done after the sacrifice, and our pious
    predecessors liked to rub some perfume over the baby's head after the

    Then it is prescribed to give the value of the baby's weight of hair
    in silver in charity, and it is recommended to give this charity on
    the seventh day also, but it is not necessary to do so, and may be


    It is prescribed that the boy be circumcised, it is recommended that
    the circumcision take place on the seventh day, but it is obligatory
    to circumcise before the boy reaches puberty.
    .لا نريد زعيما يخاف البيت الإبيض
    نريد زعيما يخاف الواحد الأحد
    دولة الإسلامية باقية

    The Rights Of Children In Islam

    Let us first establish that children in accordance with the Islamic concept means both male and female. Some Islamic opponents accuse Islam of differentiating between male and female children claiming that Islam prefers boys over girls in terms of inheritance, 'Aqeeqa (slaughter of two lambs upon the birth of a male baby, and one lamb only for a baby girl) and other matters. In accordance with the true Islamic teaching, both male and female are alike in the sight of Allah, the Almighty. Each, however, is physically prepared and equipped to perform certain tasks and duties that are suitable to his/her nature. All, again are equal in religious duties, except for certain exceptions that are defined and illustrated by Allah, the Almighty, in the Glorious Quran, or declared and specified by Allah’s Apostle, PBUH. Only these differences are to be acknowledged and honored and only in accordance with Islam and its teachings.

    Children, according to Islam, are entitled to various rights. The first and foremost of these rights is the right to be properly brought up, raised and educated. This means that children should be given suitable, sufficient, sound and adequate religious, ethical and moral guidance to last them for their entire lives. They should be engraved with true values, the meaning of right and wrong, true and false, correct and incorrect, appropriate and inappropriate and so forth and so on. Allah, the Almighty stated in the Glorious Qur’an:

    "O ye who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is Men and Stones." (66:6)

    Allah’s Apostle (saw) also said: "Every one of you (people) is a shepherd. And every one is responsible for whatever falls under his responsibility. A man is like a shepherd of his own family, and he is responsible for them." This Hadith is reported by both Bukhari and Muslim.

    Children, therefore are a trust given to the parents. Parents will be responsible for this trust on the Day of Judgement. Parents are essentially responsible for the moral, ethical and the basic and essential religious teachings of their children.

    If parents fulfill this responsibility, they will be free of the consequences on the Day of Judgement. The children will become better citizens and a pleasure to the eyes of their parents, first in this life, and in the hereafter.

    Allah, the Almighty stated in the Glorious Quran:

    "And those who believe and whose families follow them in Faith, to them shall We join their families: Nor shall We deprive them (of the fruit) of aught of their works: (Yet) is each individual in pledge for his deeds." (52:21)

    Moreover, Allah's Apostle (saw)said: "Upon death, man's deeds will (definitely) stop except for three deeds, namely: a continuous charitable fund, endowment or goodwill; knowledge left for people to benefit from; and pious righteous and God-fearing child who continuously prays Allah, the Almighty, for the soul of his parents." This Hadith is reported by Muslim.

    In fact, such a statement reflects the value of the proper upbringing of children. It has an everlasting effect, even after death.

    Unfortunately, many parents from every walk of life, in every society, regardless of creed, origin, social and economical status, etc., have neglected this very important imposed right of their own children on them. Such individuals have indeed lost their children as a result of their own negligence. Such parents are so careless about the time their children spend with no benefit, the friends they associate with, the places they go to, etc. Such parents do not care, are totally indifferent about where their children go, when they come back and so forth and so on, causing the children to grow up without any responsible adult and without caring supervision. Such parents neglect even to instruct, direct or guide their children to the proper way of life, behaviour or even right attitudes towards others. Yet, you may find these parents are so careful about guarding their wealth. They are extremely concerned about their businesses, work and otherwise. They exert every possible effort to lead a very successful life in terms of materialistic gains, although all this wealth is not actually theirs. No one will take wealth to the grave.

    Children are not only to be well-fed, well-groomed, properly dressed for the weather and for appearance, well-taken care of in terms of housing and utilities. It is more important to offer the child comparable care in terms of educational, religious training, and spiritual guidance. The heart of a child must be filled with faith. A child’s mind must be entertained with proper guidance, knowledge and wisdom. Clothes, food, housing, schooling are not, by any means, an indication of proper care of the child. Proper education and guidance is far more important to a child than this food, grooming and appearance.

    One of the due rights of children upon their parents is their spending for their welfare and well-being moderately. Over-spending or negligence is not condoned, accepted or even tolerated in Islam. Such ways will have a negative effect on the child regardless of the social status. Men are urged not to be miserly to their children and households, who are their natural heirs in every religion and society. Why would one be miserly to those who are going to inherit his wealth? Children are entitled to such an important right. They are even permitted to take moderately from their parent's wealth to sustain themselves if the parent declines to give them proper funds for their living.

    Children also have the right to be treated equally in terms of financial gifts. No one should be preferred over the others. All must be treated fairly and equally. None should be deprived his gift from the parents. Depriving, or banning the right of inheritance, or other financial gifts during the lifetime of the parents or the preference of a parent for one child over the other is considered according to Islam as an act of injustice. Injustice will definitely lead to an atmosphere of hatred, anger and dismay amongst the children in a household. In fact, such an act of injustice may, most likely, lead to animosity amongst the children, and consequently, this will affect the entire family environment. In certain cases a special child may show a tender care for his aging parent, for instance, causing the parent to grant such a child a special gift, or issue him the ownership of a house, a factory, a land, a farm, a car, or any other valuable items. Islam, however considers such a financial reward to such a caring, loving and perhaps obedient child, a wrong act. A caring child is entitled only to a reward from Allah, the Almighty. Although it is nice to grant such a child something in appreciation for his dedication and special efforts, this must not lead to an act of disobedience to Allah, the Almighty. It may be that the heart and feelings of such a loving and caring child may change, at one point in time, causing him to become a nasty and harmful child. By the same token, a nasty child may change, at any given time, as well, to become a very caring and kind child to the same parent. The hearts and feelings are, as we all know, in the hands of Allah, the Almighty, and can be turned in any direction at any given time and without any previous notice. This, indeed, is one of the reasons for preventing the act of financial preference of a child over another. On the other hand, there is also no assurance or guarantee that a caring child can handle the financial gift of his parent wisely.

    It is narrated by Abu Bakr, (RA), who said that Allah's Apostle, Saw) was approached by one of his companions, al-N'uman bin Basheer, who said: "O Prophet of Allah! I have granted a servant to one of my children (asking him to testify to that gift)." But Allah's ProphetP(saw) asked him: "Did you grant the same to each and every child of yours?" When Allah's Apostle, (saw0 was informed negatively about that, he said: "Fear Allah, the Almighty, and be fair and just to all your children. Seek the testimony of another person, other than me. I will not testify to an act of injustice." This Hadith is reported by both Bukhari and Muslim. Thus, Allah's Apostle, (saw) called such an act of preference of one child over the others an act of "injustice." Injustice is prohibited and forbidden in Islam.

    But, if a parent granted one of his children financial help to fulfill a necessity, such as a medical treatment coverage, the cost of a marriage, the cost of initializing a business, etc., then such a grant would not be categorized an act of injustice and unfairness. Such a gift will fall under the right to spend in the essential needs of the children, which is a requirement that a parent must fulfill.

    Islam sees that if parents fulfill their duties towards all their children in terms of providing them with necessary training, educational backing, moral, ethical and religious education, this will definitely lead to a more caring child, a better family atmosphere and a better social environment and awareness. On the other hand, any negligence in those parental duties can lead to the loss of a child or ill treatment of the parents at a later age.

    By Sheikh Al-Uthaymeen
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      The Rights of Children (

      The children’s rights.

      Allaah has given children rights over their parents just as the parents have rights over their children.

      It was narrated that Ibn ‘Umar said: “Allaah has called them abraar (righteous) because they honoured (barru) their fathers and children. Just as your father has rights over you, so too your child has rights over you.

      Al-Adab al-Mufrad, 94.

      The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, according to a hadeeth narrated by ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar, “… and your child has rights over you.” Muslim, 1159.

      The child’s rights over their children include some that come even before the child is born, for example:

      1 – Choosing a righteous wife to be a righteous mother.

      It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A woman may be married for four reasons: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religious commitment. Marry the one who is religiously committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4802; Muslim, 1466).

      Shaykh ‘Abd al-Ghani al-Dahlawi said: Choose from among women those who are religiously committed and righteous, and who are of good descent, for if a woman is of illegitimate descent, this bad characteristic may be passed to her children. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

      “The adulterer — fornicator marries not but an adulteress — fornicatress or a Mushrikah; and the adulteress –fornicatress, none marries her except an adulterer — fornicater or a Mushrik”

      [al-Noor 24:3]

      Rather Islam recommends compatibility for the purpose of harmony and to avoid a person being shamed if he marries into a family that is not compatible.

      Sharh Sunan Ibn Maajah, 1/141

      Rights after the child is born:

      1 – It is Sunnah to do tahneek for the child when he is born:

      It was narrated that Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The son of Abu Talhah was sick. Abu Talhah went out and the child died, and when Abu Talhah returned he said, “What happened to my son?” Umm Sulaym (his wife) said, ‘He is quieter than he was.” Then she brought him his dinner and he ate, then he had marital relations with her, and when he finished she said, “They buried the child.” The following morning, Abu Talhah went to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and told him what had happened. He said, “Did you have marital relations last night?” He said, “Yes.” He said, “O Allaah, bless them.” She later gave birth to a boy. Abu Talhah said to me, “Keep him until I bring him to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).” He brought him to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and I sent some dates with him. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) took him and said, “Is there anything with him?” They said, “Yes, some dates.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) took some and chewed it, then he took some from his mouth and put it in the child’s mouth (tahneek), and named him ‘Abd-Allaah.

      Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5153; Muslim, 2144

      Al-Nawawi said:

      The scholars are agreed that it is mustahabb to do tahneek with dates for the child when he is born; if that is not possible then to use some similar kind of sweet. The dates should be chewed until they become soft enough to be swallowed, then the child’s mouth should be opened and a little of the dates put in his mouth.

      Sharh al-Nawawi ‘ala Muslim, 14/122-123

      2 – The child should be given a good name, such as ‘Abd-Allaah or ‘Abd al-Rahmaan.

      It was narrated from Naafi’ that Ibn ‘Umar said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The most beloved of your names to Allaah are ‘Abd-Allaah and ‘Abd al-Rahmaan.”

      (Narrated by Muslim, 2132)

      It is mustahabb to give the child a Prophet’s name:

      It was narrated that Anas ibn Maalik said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A child was born to me last night and I called him by the name of my father Ibraaheem.”

      Narrated by Muslim, 2315

      It is mustahabb to name the child on the seventh day, but there is nothing wrong with naming him on the day of his birth, because of the hadeeth quoted above.

      It was narrated from Samurah ibn Jundub that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Every child is in pledge for his ‘aqeeqah which should be slaughtered for him on the seventh day, his head should be shaved and he should be named.

      Narrated by Abu Dawood, 2838; classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 4541

      Ibn al-Qayyim said:

      The purpose of naming is to define the thing named, because if there is something whose name is unknown it is difficult to refer to it. So it is permissible to name him (the child) on the day he is born, and it is permissible to delay the naming until the third day, or until the day of the ‘aqeeqah, or before or after that. The matter is broad in scope.”

      Tuhfat al-Mawlood, p. 111

      3 – It is Sunnah to shave the child’s head on the seventh day and to give the weight of the hair in silver in charity.

      It was narrated that ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) slaughtered a sheep as the ‘aqeeqah for al-Hasan, and he said, “O Faatimah, shave his head and give the weight of his hair in silver in charity.” So she weighed it and its weight was a dirham or part of a dirham.

      Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1519; classed as hasan by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 1226.

      4 – It is mustahabb for the father to do the ‘aqeeqah, as stated in the hadeeth quoted above, “Every child is in pledge for his ‘aqeeqah.”

      Two sheep should be sacrificed for a boy and one for a girl.

      It was narrated from ‘Aa’ishah that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded them (to sacrifice) two similar sheep for a boy and one for a girl.

      Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1513; Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 1221; Abu Dawood, 2834; al-Nasaa’i, 4212; Ibn Maajah, 3163

      5 – Circumcision

      It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The fitrah is five things, or five things are part of the fitrah: circumcision, shaving the pubic hairs, plucking the armpit hairs, clipping the nails and trimming the moustache.”

      Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5550; Muslim, 257

      The child’s rights with regard to education and upbringing:

      It was narrated from ‘Abd-Allaah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Each of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The ruler who is in charge of people is a shepherd and is responsible for them. The man is the shepherd of his household and is responsible for them. The woman is the shepherd of her husband’s house and child and is responsible for them. The slave is the shepherd of his master’s wealth and is responsible for it. Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock.”

      Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2416; Muslim, 1829.

      So parents must take care of teaching their children the duties of Islam and other virtues that are recommended in sharee’ah, and worldly matters that they need in order to live a decent life in this world.

      The man should start by teaching them the most important things, then the next most important. So he starts by teaching them correct ‘aqeedah, free from shirk and bid’ah. Then he teaches them the acts of worship, especially prayer. Then he teaches them and trains them in good manners and characteristics, and everything that is good.

      Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

      “And (remember) when Luqmaan said to his son when he was advising him: “O my son! Join not in worship others with Allaah. Verily, joining others in worship with Allaah is a great Zulm (wrong) indeed”

      [Luqmaan 31:13]

      It was narrated from ‘Abd al-Malik ibn al-Rabee’ ibn Sabrah from his father that his grandfather said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Teach the child to pray when he is seven years old, and smack him if he does not pray when he is ten.”

      Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 407; Abu Dawood, 494. Classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 4025

      It was narrated that al-Rubayyi’ bint Mu’awwidh said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) sent word on the morning of Ashoora’ to the areas where the Ansaar lived (on the outskirts of Madeenah), saying: Whoever did not fast this morning, let him not eat for the rest of the day, and whoever started fasting this morning, let him complete his fast. She said: We used to observe this fast after that, and we used to make our children fast and make them toys of wool; if one of them cried for food we would give him that toy until it was time to break the fast.

      Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1859; Muslim, 1136

      It was narrated that al-Saa’ib ibn Yazeed said: I was taken for Hajj with the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when I was seven years old.

      Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1759

      Training in good manners and characteristics:

      Every father and mother should train their children in praiseworthy characteristics and good manners, whether towards Allaah, His Prophet the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), towards their Qur’aan and ummah, and with everyone whom they know and who has rights over them. They should not behave badly with those whom they mix with, their neighbours or their friends.

      Al-Nawawi said:

      The father must discipline his child and teach him what he needs to know of religious duties. This teaching is obligatory upon the father and all those in charge of children before the child reaches the age of adolescence. This was stated by al-Shaafa’i and his companions. Al-Shaafa’i and his companions said: This teaching is also obligatory upon the mother, if there is no father, because it is part of the child’s upbringing and they have a share of that and the wages for this teaching may be taken from the child’s own wealth. If the child has no wealth then the one who is obliged to spend on him may spend on his education, because it is one of the things that he needs. And Allaah knows best.

      Sharh al-Nawawi ‘ala Saheeh Muslim, 8/44

      The father should bring them up with good manners in all things, eating, drinking, dressing, sleeping, going out of the house, entering the house, riding in vehicles, etc, and in all their affairs. He should instill in them the attributes of a good man, such as love of sacrifice, putting others first, helping others, chivalry and generosity. He should keep them away from evil characteristics such as cowardice, stinginess, lack of chivalry, lack of ambition, etc.

      Al-Manaawi said:

      “Just as your parents have rights over you, so too your child has rights over you, rather many rights, such as teaching them the individual obligations, teaching them Islamic manners, giving them gifts equally, whether that is a gift, a waqf, or other gift. If preference is shown with no reason, that is regarded as invalid by some of the scholars and as makrooh by others.

      Fayd al-Qadeer, 2/574

      He must also protect his sons and daughters from everything that may bring them close to the Fire. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

      “O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allaah, but do that which they are commanded”

      [al-Tahreem 66:6]

      al-Qurtubi said:

      al-Hasan commented on this verse by saying, Command them and forbid them. One of the scholars said: (The phrase) Ward off (or protect) yourselves includes children, because the child is part of him, as it says in the verse (interpretation of the meaning): “…nor on yourselves, if you eat from your houses…” [al-Noor 24:61], where the various relatives are not mentioned individually. So he should teach him what is halaal and what is haraam, and make him avoid sin, and teach him other rulings.

      Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 18/194-195.


      This is one of the father’s obligations towards his children; it is not permissible for him to fall short in that or to neglect this matter, rather he is obliged to do this duty in the fullest sense.

      It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “It is sufficient sin for a man if he neglects those on whom he is obliged to spend.”

      Narrated by Abu Dawood, 1692; classed as sahan by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 4481.

      Another of the greatest rights is to give the child a good upbringing and take good care of him or her – especially in the case of girls. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) encouraged this righteous deed.

      It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah the wife of the Prophet (S) said: A woman came to me with two daughters and asked me for food, and I could not find anything except one date which I gave to her. She shared it between her two daughters, then she got up and went out. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came in and I told him what had happened. He said: “Whoever is in charge of any of these girls and treats them well, they will be a shield for him against the Fire.”

      Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5649; Muslim, 2629

      Another important matter which is one of the rights of children to which attention must be paid, is treating children fairly. This right was referred to by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in the saheeh hadeeth: “Fear Allaah and treat your children fairly.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2447; Muslim, 1623). It is not permissible to show preference to females over males, just as it is not permissible to show preference to males over females. If the father makes this mistake and shows preference to some of his children over others, and does not treat them fairly, this will lead to many evils, such as:

      The harm that befalls the father himself, for the children whom he denies or deprives will grow up to hate him. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) referred to this in the hadeeth narrated by Muslim (1623) when he said to the father of al-Nu’maan, “Would you like them to honour you equally?” He said, “Yes.” In other words, if you want them all to honour you equally, then be fair in giving gifts to them.

      Another evil consequence is the children hating one another, and stoking the flames of hatred and enmity between them.

      And Allaah knows best.



        Question #32554: Ruling on distributing food when an infant reaches the age of forty days

        Click here to get a printable version

        Question :

        We have a custom and I do not know whether it is Sunnah or bid’ah. When an infant reaches the age of forty days, the family cooks a large amount of food and distributes it among relatives and neighbours. This is what we call al-tuloo’. Is this action prescribed in sharee’ah? Is it Sunnah or is it a bid’ah which we should avoid?.

        Answer :

        Praise be to Allaah.

        What is prescribed when a child is born is for the family to slaughter the ‘aqeeqah on his behalf, on the seventh day. Two sheep should be slaughtered for a boy and one for a girl. The family can distribute the meat or part of it, or they can cook it or some of it and distribute it to family, relatives and neighbours.

        If the family is unable to slaughter the ‘aqeeqah on the seventh day, then they may do so on the fourteenth, if they cannot do that then on the twenty-first, and if they cannot do that then on whatever day they can after that.

        See the rulings on ‘aqeeqah in the answer to question no. 20018. It is permissible to distribute the meat of the ‘aqeeqah raw or cooked, as it says in the answer to questions no. 26046, 8423 and 8388.

        The fortieth day after birth or death is of no significance; this is a Pharaonic custom and it is not permissible for the Muslim to seek out this day for anything that has to do with worship.

        In the answer to question no. 12552 we have quoted the comments of Shaykh Ibn Baaz on the “arba’eeniyyah” (fortieth day ceremonies). This is originally a Pharaonic custom which was observed by the Pharaohs before Islam, then it spread from them and became widespread among other peoples. It is a reprehensible innovation (bid’ah) for which there is no basis in Islam. It is rejected by the hadeeth of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “Whoever innovates anything in this matter of ours that is not part of it will have it rejected.” Saheeh – agreed upon.

        The Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) warned us against innovations when he said: “Beware of newly-invented matters, for every newly-invented matter is an innovation and every innovation is a going astray.” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 4607; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood. Al-Nasaa’i (1578) added: “And every going astray will be in Hellfire.”

        And Allaah knows best.

        Islam Q&A (
        .لا نريد زعيما يخاف البيت الإبيض
        نريد زعيما يخاف الواحد الأحد
        دولة الإسلامية باقية


          Re: The Newborn Child Born into Islam

          "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

          The Prophet :saw: said:

          "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."


          Narrated 'Abdullah:

          The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari

          "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

          By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

          [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]


            Re: The Newborn Child Born into Islam

            Originally posted by AbuMubarak View Post
            Question #32554: Ruling on distributing food when an infant reaches the age of forty days

            Click here to get a printable version

            Islam Q&A (
            good post akhi, but you forgot to delete something


              Parenting - Qur'an and Hadeeth quotes

              One of our regular posters has suggested that we have a sticky thread for hadeeth about parenting inshaAllah - which is an excellent idea mashaAllah....... SO... please all of you post copies of hadeeth and Qur'an quotes that are related to all aspects of parenting, motherhood, fatherhood inshaAllah from conception to grown up children going and getting married inshaAllah. once we have a few inshaAllah i can stick the thread :up:

              Edit: excellent contributions so far :up: have stuck the thread now but keep 'em coming inshaAllah!!
              Last edited by dhak1yya; 27-02-08, 11:33 AM.


                Re: Sticky thread-to-be inshaAllah: Qur'an and Hadeeth of parenting

                Every child is born Muslim

                Hadith - Bukhari 2.440, Narrated Ibn Shihab
                Abu Huraira, narrated that the Prophet said, "Every child is born with a true faith (i.e. to worship none but Allah Alone) but his parents convert him to Judaism or to Christianity or to Magainism, as an animal delivers a perfect baby animal. Do you find it mutilated?" Then Abu Huraira recited the holy verse: "So set you (O Muhammad SAW) your face towards the religion of pure Islâmic Monotheism Hanifa (worship none but Allâh Alone) Allâh's Fitrah (i.e. Allâh's Islâmic Monotheism), with which He has created mankind. No change let there be in Khalq*illâh (i.e. the Religion of Allâh Islâmic Monotheism), that is the straight religion, but most of men know not. [Tafsir At*Tabarî, Vol 21, Page 41] " (30.30).

                Show Loving Kindness

                Hadith - Bukhari (#86), Muslim, Tirmidhi, and Nasa'i.
                Barra' said, "I saw the Prophet of Allah with Hasan upon his shoulders. The Prophet was saying, 'O Allah! I love him, so You love him too.'"

                Hadith - Bukhari (#91) and Muslim
                Abu Salmah related that Abu Hurayrah said, "The Prophet of Allah kissed Hasan ibn 'Ali while Aqra' ibn Habis was sitting nearby. Aqra' said, 'I have ten children and have never kissed one of them.' The Prophet looked at him and said, 'Those who show no mercy will be shown no mercy.'"

                The Noble Qur'an - Al-Ahqaf 46:15
                And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and kind to his parents. His mother bears him with hardship and she brings him forth with hardship, and the bearing of him, and the weaning of him is thirty (30) months, till when he attains full strength and reaches forty years, he says: "My Lord! Grant me the power and ability that I may be grateful for Your Favour which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents, and that I may do righteous good deeds, such as please You, and make my off-spring good. Truly, I have turned to You in repentance, and truly, I am one of the Muslims (submitting to Your Will)."


                Hadith - Dawud, Narrated An-Nu'man ibn Bashir
                The Prophet said: Act equally between your children; Act equally between your sons.

                Hadith - Dawud, Narrated An-Nu'man ibn Bashir
                I heard An-Nu'man bin Bashir on the pulpit saying, "My father gave me a gift but 'Amra bint Rawaha (my mother) said that she would not agree to it unless he made Allah's Apostle as a witness to it. So, my father went to Allah's Apostle and said, 'I have given a gift to my son from 'Amra bint Rawaha, but she ordered me to make you as a witness to it, O Allah's Apostle!' Allah's Apostle asked, 'Have you given (the like of it) to everyone of your sons?' He replied in the negative. Allah's Apostle said, 'Be afraid of Allah, and be just to your children.' My father then returned and took back his gift."

                Playing with Dogs
                Hadith - Bukhari (#1302)
                Ibrahim said, "Our associates used to permit all sorts of play, except for play with dogs." Imam Bukhari added: "He meant [the permission was] for children.


                Hadith - Bukhari 4:523, Narrated Jabir bin Abdullah
                Allah's Apostle said, "When night falls (or it is evening), keep your children close to you for the devils spread out at that time. But when an hour of the night elapses, you can let them free. Close the doors and mention the Name of Allah, for Shaytaan (Satan) does not open a closed door."

                The Testimony of Children

                Hadith - Muwatta 36.9
                Yahya said, "Malik said from Hisham ibn Urwa that Abdullah ibn az-Zubayr gave judgment based on the testimony of children concerning the injuries between them."
                Malik said, "The generally agreed on way of doing things in our community is that the testimony of children is permitted concerning injuries between them. It is not accepted about anything else. It is only permitted between them if they testify before they leave the scene of the incident and have been deceived or instructed. If they leave the scene, they have no testimony unless they call just witnesses to witness their testimony before they leave."

                Obedience and Respect Due to Muslim Parents

                The Noble Qur'an - Luqmaan 31:14-15
                And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years give thanks to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination.
                But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who turns to Me in repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do.

                Hadith - Sahih Bukhari Vol. 4, No. 41, Narrated 'Abdullah bin Mas'ud
                I asked Allah's Messenger (saaws), "O Allah's Messenger! What is the best deed?" He replied, "To offer the prayers at their early stated fixed times." I asked, "What is next in goodness?" He replied, "To be good and dutiful to your parents." I further asked, "What is next in goodness?" He replied, "To participate in Jihad in Alah's Cause." I did not ask Allah's Messenger (saaws) anymore and if I had asked him more, he would have told me more.

                The Noble Qur'an - Al-Isra 17:23-24
                And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour.
                And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: "My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young."
                Note: Muslims must not pray for forgiveness for the Mushrikun.


                Abusing a muslim is not allowed. But "spankings" and appropriate discipline as means of correction are Islamic.

                Hadith - Bukhari (#883) and Abu Dawud
                Nafi' said, "Ibn 'Umar used to beat his children for mistakes in diction."

                Hadith - Dawud, Narrated As-Saburah
                [Also recorded by Ahmand and al-Hakim. Al-Syuti has give in a notation signifying that it is authentic. Al-Albani has graded it hasan. Al-Albani, Sahih al-Jami, vol. 2, p. 1021.]
                The Prophet said: Order your children to pray at the age of seven. And beat them [lightly] if they do not do so by the age of ten. And separate them in their bedding.

                Hadith - Bukhari 3:734, Narrated Abu Huraira
                The Prophet said, "If somebody fights (or beats somebody) then he should avoid the face."

                It is permissible to admonish a child that is not your own...

                Hadith - Bukhari 7:177, Narrated Aisha
                Abu Bakr admonished me and poked me with his hands in the flank, and nothing stopped me from moving at that time except the position of Allah's Apostle whose head was on my thigh.

                Children are a Test and Trial

                Muslims are frequently tested by Allah s.w.t. Your children are a test or trial for you, and your actions or lack of actions will be judged by Allah swt alone. Do not raise your child simply based on what your family or peers thinks you should do. Do not fear the judgment of mankind, but of Allah, s.w.t., alone.

                Hadith - Dawud, Narrated Buraydah ibn al-Hasib
                The Apostle of Allah delivered a speech to us; meanwhile al-Hasan and al-Husayn came upon there stumbling, wearing red shirts. He came down from the pulpit, took them and ascended it with them. He then said: Allah truly said: "Your property and your children are only trial" (Ixiv.15). I saw both of them, and I could not wait. Afterwards he resumed the speech.

                Hadith - Tirmidhi , a hasan sahih tradition.
                Allah's Messenger said, "The believing man or woman continues to have affliction in person, property and children so that they may finally meet Allah, free from sin."

                Hadith - Dawud, Narrated Muhammad ibn Khalid as-Sulami
                As-Sulami's grandfather, who was a Companion of the Apostle of Allah said: I heard the Apostle of Allah say: When Allah has previously decreed for a servant a rank which he has not attained by his action, He afflicts him in his body, or his property or his children.

                The Noble Quran - Al-Hadid 57:25
                Indeed We have sent Our Messengers with clear proofs, and revealed with them the Scripture and the Balance (justice) that mankind may keep up justice. And We brought forth iron wherein is mighty power (in matters of war), as well as many benefits for mankind, that Allah may test who it is that will help Him (His Religion), and His Messengers in the unseen. Verily, Allah is All-Strong, All-Mighty.

                The Noble Quran - At-Taghabun 64:15
                Your wealth and your children are only a trial, whereas Allah! With Him is a great reward (Paradise).

                A supplication...

                Hadith - Tirmidhi, Narrated Umar ibn al-Khattab
                Allah's Messenger taught him to say, "O Allah, make my inner nature better than my outer, and make my outer nature good. O Allah, I ask Thee to give me some of the abundance thou givest to men, in family, property and children, which neither strays nor leads astray."


                Hadith - Mishkat, Narrated Mu'adh ibn Jabal
                Allah's Messenger instructed me to do ten things saying:
                1. Do not associate anything with Allah even if you are killed and burnt on that account.
                2. Don't be disobedient to your parents even if they command you to abandon your family and your property.
                3. Do not deliberately neglect to observe a prescribed prayer for he who neglects the prescribed prayer deliberately will become out of the protection of Allah.
                4. Do not drink wine for it is the height of every obscenity.
                5. Shun evil, for with evil there descends the wrath of Allah.
                6. Beware of running away from the battle-field even if the people perish.
                7. And when the death overtakes the people (in a plague or disaster) and you are one amongst them, show steadfastness.
                8. Spend on your children according to your means.
                9. Do not refrain from using pressure (of punishment) with a view to training them.
                10. Inculcate in them the fear of Allah.
                Permission to Enter

                The Noble Qur'an - An-Nur 24:58-9
                O you who believe! Let your legal slaves and slave-girls, and those among you who have not come to the age of puberty ask your permission (before they come to your presence) on three occasions; before morning prayer, and while you put off your clothes for the noonday (rest), and after the 'Isha (latenight) prayer. (These) three times are of privacy for you, other than these times there is no sin on you or on them to move about, --attending (helping) you each other. Thus Allah makes clear the Ayat (the Verses of this Qur'an, showing proofs for the legal aspects of permission for visits, etc.) to you. And Allah is All-Knowing, All-Wise.
                And when the children among you come to puberty, then let them (also) ask for permission, as those senior to them (in age). Thus Allah makes clear His Ayat (Commandments and legal obligations) for you. And Allah is All-Knowing, All-Wise.

                Acts of Charity

                Parents sometimes overstress themselves and become like servants to their children. This is not to say that it is permissible to neglect a child, but to address the matter of people who begin to neglect their own self in an effort to help others. This hadith may help to alleviate those who feel that their children's needs are to be delivered at the expense of their own needs being fulfilled. For instance, if you neglect your own health while caring for your child, you may become extremely sick and then be unable to fulfill your role of providing. This hadith also shows that we should first spend our resources on providing for our family before giving gifts to others.

                Hadith - Dawud, Narrated Buraydah ibn al-Hasib
                The Prophet commanded to give sadaqah. A man said: Apostle of Allah, I have a dinar. He said: Spend it on yourself. He again said: I have another. He said: Spend it on your children. He again said: I have another. He said: Spend it on your wife. He again said: I have another. He said: Spend it on your servant. He finally said: I have another. He replied: You know best (what to do with it).

                Balancing our Time

                Parents should make time for both the worldly affairs and studying the deen of Al-Islam.

                Hadith - Dawud, Narrated Buraydah ibn al-Hasib
                I met AbuBakr. He said: Who are you? He (Hanzalah) said: Hanzalah has turned out to be a hypocrite. He (AbuBakr) said: Hallowed be Allah, what are you saying? Thereupon he said: I say that when we are in the company of Allah's Messenger we ponder over Hell-Fire and Paradise as if we are seeing them before our very eyes. When we are away from Allah's Apostle we attend to our wives, our children, our business; most of these things (pertaining to the After life) slip out of our minds. AbuBakr said: By Allah, I also experience the same. So AbuBakr and I went to Allah's Apostle and said to him: Allah's Apostle , Hanzalah has turned to be a hypocrite. Thereupon Allah's Apostle said: What has happened to you? I said: Allah's Apostle, when we are in your company, we are reminded of Hell-Fire and Paradise as if we are seeing them with our own eyes, but whenever we go away from you and attend to our wives, children and business, many of these things go out of our minds. Thereupon Allah's Apostle said: By Him in Whose Hand is my life, if your state of mind remains the same as it is in my presence and you are always busy in remembrance (of Allah), the angels will shake hands with you in your beds and on your paths. However, Hanzalah, time should be devoted (to the worldly affairs) and time (should be devoted to prayer and meditation). He (the holy Prophet) said this thrice.

                The Noble Qur'an - Al-Munafiqun 63:9
                O you who believe! Let not your properties or your children divert you from the remembrance of Allah. And whosoever does that, they are the losers.

                Hadith - Sahih al-Bukhari 8.65, Narrated Al Aswad
                I asked 'Aisha what did the Prophet use to do at home. She replied, "He used to keep himself busy serving his family and when it was time for the prayer, he would get up for prayer."

                Hadith - Sahih al-Bukhari 8.200, Narrated Abu Huraira
                Allah's Apostle said, "Allah said, 'The offspring of Adam abuse the Dahr (Time), and I am the Dahr; in My Hands are the night and the day!' "

                The Parent must consent to Jihad
                Hadith - Dawud, Narrated Abu Sa'id
                A man from Yemen migrated to Madinah to be with the Prophet . The Prophet asked him, 'Do you have any relatives in Yemen?' He answered, 'My parents.' 'Did you ask their permission?' the Prophet asked. On his replying that he did not, the Prophet told him, 'Go back to them and ask their permission. If they agree to it, go on jihad. Otherwise stay and serve them.'

                Love for the Prophet s.a.a.w.s.
                We must love Allah, subhana watala, far above all, with no comparison to the love we have for people.
                Our love for the Prophet must surpass our love for our own children or parents. Teach the children to love Muhammad . Also teach about shirk, so that they know the difference between love and idol-worship (i.e. honoring, excessive praising, etc.).

                Hadith - Bukhari 1:13, Narrated Abu Huraira
                Allah's Apostle said, "By Him in Whose Hands my life is, none of you will have faith till he loves me more than his father and his children."

                Losing a Child

                Hadith - al-Tayaalisi. [The story was also reported by Imaam al-Bukhaari, Muslim, Ahmad. al-Albaani collected all its isnaads in his book Ahkaam al-Janaa’iz, p. 20] Narrated Anas (may Allah be pleased with him)
                So he [Abu Talhah, r.a.] married her [Um Sulaym, r.a.], and she was a woman with nice eyes, rather small. She was with him until she bore him a son, who Abu Talhah loved very much. The child became very ill, and Abu Talhah was very upset and distressed by the child’s sickness. Abu Talhah used to get up to pray the morning prayer, he would go to the Prophet and pray with him, and would stay with him for almost half the day. Then [Abu Talhah] would come to take a nap and eat, and when he had prayed Zuhr [mid-day prayer] he would get ready and leave, and would not come back until the time of the ‘Isha’ [night-time] prayer.

                One evening, Abu Talhah went out to see the Prophet (according to another report: to go to the mosque), and the child died (during his absence).

                Um Sulaym said, “No one is to tell Abu Talhah about his child’s death until I have told him.” She covered the child up as if he were sleeping, and left him in a corner of the house. Abu Talhah came back from visiting the Messenger of Allah , and brought some people from the mosque with him. He asked, “How is my son?” She said, “O Abu Talhah, from the time he fell sick, he has never been as calm as he is now, and I hope that he is resting.” (She spoke vaguely so as not to upset him; this was not a lie. She was referring to the calmness of death and the child finding relief from the pain of his sickness, but her husband took it to mean that the child’s condition had improved). She brought the meal and they all ate dinner, then the people left.

                Then he went to bed and lay down, and she got up and put on perfume and adorned herself, making herself more beautiful than she ever had before. (This was a sign of her patience and great faith in the will and decree of Allaah. She was seeking reward from Allah and concealing her feelings, hoping that she would become pregnant that night to make up for the loss of her child). Then she came and lay down in the bed with him, and when he smelt the perfume, he did as men usually do with their wives (this is the narrator’s polite and circumspect manner of referring to what happened between them).

                At the end of the night, she said, “O Abu Talhah, do you think that if some people lent something to some others, then they asked for it back, do they have the right not to give it back?” He said, “No.” She said, “Allaah, may He be glorified, lent your son to you, and now He has taken him back, so seek reward with Him and have patience.” He became angry and said, “You left me until I did what I did (i.e., had intercourse), then you tell me that my son has died!” Then he said, “Innaa Lillaahi wa innaa ilayhi raaji’oon (Truly, to Allaah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return – the words uttered by Muslims when faced with news of death or calamity) and he praised Allaah. In the morning, he did ghusl (full ablution) then he went to the Messenger of Allah and prayed with him, and told him what had happened. The Messenger of Allaah (saaws) said, “May Allaah bless you for last night.” She conceived a child (thus the Prophet’s prayer for them was answered).

                Um Sulaym used to travel with the Messenger of Allah , leaving Madeenah when he left, and returning when he returned. The Messenger of Allah said, “When she gives birth, bring the child to me.” He was on a journey, and Um Sulaym was with him. When the Messenger of Allaah (saaws) came back from travelling, he would never enter Madeenah at night (so as not to disturb the people, and so that wives would have time to get ready to greet their husbands). They reached the outskirts of Madeenah, and her labour pains started. Abu Talhah stayed with her, and the Messenger of Allah went on. Abu Talhah said, “O Allah, you know that I like to set out with your Messenger when he sets out, and come back with him when he comes back. I have been detained as You see.” Um Sulaym said, “O Abu Talhah, I do not feel the pains as much (this was one of her “miracles”; her labour pains ceased because she had asked Allaah to enable her to catch up with the Messenger of Allah ).

                So they set off, and after they had reached Madeenah, her labour pains started again, and she gave birth to a boy. She told her son Anas, “O Anas, I will not give him anything to eat until you take him in the morning to the Messenger of Allah ,” and she sent some dates with him. (Because she wanted the first thing to enter the child’s mouth to be food from the Prophet ; this was a sign of her great faith, because the woman’s natural instinct is to hasten to feed the baby as soon as he is born). The child cried all night long, and I [Anas, the narrator of this story] stayed up all night taking care of him. In the morning, I took him to the Messenger of Allaah , who was wearing his burdah (a kind of cloak) and marking the camels and sheep that had been given to him (the animals had been given in charity and he was marking them so that they would not get lost or mixed with other flocks or herds). When he saw him, he said to Anas, “Has the daughter of Milhaan [i.e., Um Sulaym] given birth?” He said, “Yes.” He said, “I will be with you in a minute.” He put down the tool in his hand (with which he had been marking the animals) and took the child, then he said, “Do you have something for him?” They said, “Yes, dates.”

                The Prophet (saaws) took some of the dates and chewed them, mixing them with his saliva (and the saliva of the Prophet was blessed by Allah). Then he opened the child’s mouth and gave him some of the dates, wiping them inside his mouth (this is called Tahneek and is one of the customs among Muslims when a baby is born). The infant began to smack his lips, sucking some of the sweetness of the dates and the saliva of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). Thus the first thing that entered that child’s stomach was mixed with the saliva of the Messenger of Allah . He said, “See how much the Ansaar (the Muslims who were living in Madeenah when the Prophet migrated there) love dates!” I [Anas] said, “O Messenger of Allah, name him.” He wiped his face and named him ‘Abd-Allaah. There was no young man among the Ansaar who was better than him, and when he grew up he had a lot of sons, and was martyred in Persia (he died as a martyr when the Muslims conquered Persia; all of this happened as a result of the Prophet’s blessed du’aa’)


                  Re: Sticky thread-to-be inshaAllah: Qur'an and Hadeeth of parenting

                  The Messenger of Allaah :saw: came out to us for one of the evening prayers (Maghrib or ‘Isha’), carrying Hasan or Husayn. The Messenger of Allaah :saw: came forward, put the child down and said Takbeer (“Allaahu akbar”) to start the prayer.
                  Then he prostrated during the prayer and his prostration lasted for a long time. My father said: I raised my head and saw the child on the back of the Messenger of Allaah :saw:, so I went back to my prostration. When the Messenger of Allaah :saw: finished praying, the people said to him: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, during your prayer you prostrated and it took a long time, until we thought that something had happened, or that you were receiving Revelation.’ He said, ‘Nothing happened, but my son was riding on my back and I did not want to hurry him up until he had had enough



                    Re: Sticky thread-to-be inshaAllah: Qur'an and Hadeeth of parenting

                    Aisha, radiallahu ‘anha, narrated: “A lady along with her two daughters came to me asking for some alms, but she found nothing with me except one date which I gave her. She divided it between her to daughters, and did not eat anything herself, and then got up and went away. Then the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam came in and I informed him about this story. He said: “Whoever is put to trial by these daughters and he treats them generously (with benevolence) then these daughters will act as a shield for him from Hellfire.” [Related by Bukhari in the Book of Zakat.]

                    Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: “A woman from her pregnancy till the time of weaning her child is like one protecting the boundaries of the Islamic state. If she passes away during this period she attains the reward of martyrdom.”
                    In another Hadith it is mentioned that, “The woman who dies of labour pains is regarded as a martyr (shaheedah).”

                    In the Musnad of `Abd ibn Humayd from Mu`adh, the Prophet said, upon him peace: “No two Muslims lost three children except Allah will cause the two parents to enter Paradise through the favor of His mercy toward them.” They said, “What about two, Messenger of Allah?” He said, “Two also.” They said, “And one?” He said, “[Even] the miscarried child will certainly drag its mother [and father, see below] with its umbilical cord to Paradise!”
                    The Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) said, upon him peace, “The miscarried child will pester its glorious and mighty Lord for His entering its two parents into the Fire until it is told, ‘O miscarried child that pesters its Lord! Enter your father and mother into Paradise.’ Then it will drag them with its umbilical cord until it makes them enter Paradise.”
                    Ibn Majah and Abu Ya`la from `Ali.
                    And again, “By the One in Whose hand is my soul, truly the miscarried child will certainly drag its mother with its umbilical cord to Paradise, provided one expects recompense [for SABR].”
                    Ibn Majah and Ahmad from Mu`adh
                    .: Rufaida :.
                    .:Fa Firroo Ila-llaah:.
                    “People praise you for what they suppose is in you,
                    but you must blame your soul for what you know is in you.”
                    ~ Ibn Atallah

                    Ramadan Activities for Children
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                      Re: The Newborn Child Born into Islam

                      bump for all the newborns parents ..
                      "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

                      The Prophet :saw: said:

                      "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."


                      Narrated 'Abdullah:

                      The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari

                      "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

                      By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

                      [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]


                        Re: The Newborn Child Born into Islam

                        I have merged this with the sticky thread on Qur'an and Sunnah quotes about parenting. Please could more people post Hadeeth and Qur'an quotes in this thread!!!! Thank you :)


                          Re: The Newborn Child Born into Islam

                          kids can be a royal pain
                          .لا نريد زعيما يخاف البيت الإبيض
                          نريد زعيما يخاف الواحد الأحد
                          دولة الإسلامية باقية


                            Re: The Newborn Child Born into Islam - Qur'an and Sunnah on parenting

                            dang, youve been here since 02?
                            May Allah Bless Us All.


                              Re: The Newborn Child Born into Islam - Qur'an and Sunnah on parenting

                              Originally posted by Cartman View Post
                              dang, youve been here since 02?
                              أنا مسلم
                              Join Date: May 2002
                              Location: في دار الكفر
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                              .لا نريد زعيما يخاف البيت الإبيض
                              نريد زعيما يخاف الواحد الأحد
                              دولة الإسلامية باقية