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Toddler girl regarding self-stimulation/masturbation

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    Toddler girl regarding self-stimulation/masturbation

    asalam u alaikum,

    Not an easy subject, nevertheless, one that is affecting my family.

    My niece is nearly 3 years old and she rubs, stimulates, (reluctantly wanting to use the word) masturbates and she has been from nearly 1.5 - 2 years old.

    When my sister "catches" her (as she now does it in secret) she tells her off which leads to my niece feeling embarrassed and teary.

    When my brother in-law "catches" her, he calmly and nicely calls her name and asks what is she doing - she responds by trying to change subject or distract my BIL by playing games.

    Our concern is: is it normal? Is it something we need to address with a doctor/psychologist? Is it a passing faze? How shall we, the family, address it - ie should it be the womenfolk or the men or both?

    Please note: My niece has never been left alone with anyone but my sister (mum), brother -in-law (dad), my parents (grandparents) and myself so we are confident that this was not anything relating to sexual abuse of any kind.
    Rhetoric

    #2
    Re: Toddler girl regarding self-stimulation/masturbation

    Tis Normal My Son - One Years Old Plays Down Their Too Its Called Exploring Just Need To Explain Thats Its Not A Good thing To Do. Or A Nice Thing. Dont Say Say Its Dirty Like The Place Is Dirty

    I Hope U Get What I Mean :scratch:
    And He found you lost and guided you,
    ~ Qur'an (Ad Duhaa) 93:7 ~

    Salaah Reminders

    Guide us to the straight pain.
    " Ihdina-s-sirata-l-mustaqim "
    ~ Quran 1:6 ~

    الله أعلم

    Comment


      #3
      Re: Toddler girl regarding self-stimulation/masturbation

      :wswrwb:

      I think it's just curiosity and nothing to worry about? Try distracting her when she does that :up:
      "You are the best nation raised up for men. You enjoin good and forbid evil, and you believe in Allah." (Surah Al Imran 3:110)

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        #4
        Re: Toddler girl regarding self-stimulation/masturbation

        :wswrwb: dont make a big deal about it, dont ask her whats shes doing,or tell her off, just ignore it and distract her into doing something else.if u make an issue of it, it will become an issue.
        "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

        The Prophet :saw: said:

        "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

        muslim

        Narrated 'Abdullah:

        The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


        "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

        By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

        [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

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          #5
          Re: Toddler girl regarding self-stimulation/masturbation

          Originally posted by Proud-2b-MUSLIM View Post
          :wswrwb:

          I think it's just curiosity and nothing to worry about? Try distracting her when she does that :up:

          Yeah Dw She Ent Mental Its Just Getting To Know Whats What. She Is Intrested Of What Its For. Like Adam Is Obsessed With Belly Buttons
          And He found you lost and guided you,
          ~ Qur'an (Ad Duhaa) 93:7 ~

          Salaah Reminders

          Guide us to the straight pain.
          " Ihdina-s-sirata-l-mustaqim "
          ~ Quran 1:6 ~

          الله أعلم

          Comment


            #6
            Re: Toddler girl regarding self-stimulation/masturbation

            if she loves a certain thing very much..like i liked toy cars alot whn i was like 10 lol..whn she masturbates try distracting her with all the stuff she likes n if she doesnt do it ask the doc if it wud be okay to purposely make her not masturbate when she starts again cuz idk what will happen in her growing ages if she still masturbates

            Comment


              #7
              Re: Toddler girl regarding self-stimulation/masturbation

              Originally posted by IbnulQayyim View Post
              if she loves a certain thing very much..like i liked toy cars alot whn i was like 10 lol..whn she masturbates try distracting her with all the stuff she likes n if she doesnt do it ask the doc if it wud be okay to purposely make her not masturbate when she starts again cuz idk what will happen in her growing ages if she still masturbates
              No hesitating using that word multiple times
              Kids love to explore, and they see that part of their body as something to explore, they may get sensation from touching Allahu alam but they do it innocently. so like sis asiya said best way don't make a big deal and distract her, tickle her or something and she'll forget all about it inshaAllah :)
              "You are the best nation raised up for men. You enjoin good and forbid evil, and you believe in Allah." (Surah Al Imran 3:110)

              Comment


                #8
                Re: Toddler girl regarding self-stimulation/masturbation

                Originally posted by Proud-2b-MUSLIM View Post
                No hesitating using that word multiple times
                Kids love to explore, and they see that part of their body as something to explore, they may get sensation from touching Allahu alam but they do it innocently. so like sis asiya said best way don't make a big deal and distract her, tickle her or something and she'll forget all about it inshaAllah :)
                loool idk man lol i was worrying overly

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: Toddler girl regarding self-stimulation/masturbation

                  Basically as a a father of two kids. I know where u r coming from. It's an exploration thing. They just need to be taught about shame and purity. Do it nicely and with patience .

                  It is normal, but uncomfortable behaviour.
                  "Closer and closer to mankind comes their Reckoning: yet they heed not and they turn away" (21:1)

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: Toddler girl regarding self-stimulation/masturbation

                    There was a medical drama in which a mother was concerned cos' her 3 year old daughter was doing this and the Dr told her it's not that unusual at her age, give her a little talk about privacy and don't make a big deal about it. I was surprised but I since found out this sort of thing isn't too unusual. If you're really THAT worried, then there's no harm in speaking to her Dr about it.
                    The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

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                      #11
                      Re: Toddler girl regarding self-stimulation/masturbation

                      Its normal for children to explore their bodies, they do not differenciate between private areas and areas like face/ hands/ feet etc. Its all the same to them so instead of telling her off (for what exactly? She won't even understand why she is being told off!) its better to actually talk with her and explain to her what those areas are. At 3 years old I'm sure she will be able to understand, you can tell her the different names of the parts of the body, you can tell her what the function of each one is ie: bottom is for poo-poo and 'front bottom' (we use this word with our toddler daughter) is for wee-wee, both areas are dirty to touch because of what comes out from there so you must wash your hands if you ever touch you bottom, even just to itch or something etc etc. If you make a big deal and noise about it she will just do it when you are not looking instead.

                      Also just to be clear I don't think a child of tht age can mastubate, she is just exploring the area and most likely trying to understand the sensation she gets when she touches those areas.

                      If she persistently rubs are privates it could also be a case of some sort of rash or dry skin which is causing the discomfort. Or it could just be habit lke some kids suck their thumbs, some kids pull or twist their hair, some kids like to stick their fingers in their belly buttons lol!
                      What does 'freedom' mean?

                      Does the eagle want to swim in the sea,
                      Restricted by the sky?

                      Does the fish want to dance on the wind,
                      Not enough river to explore?

                      Yet the sky is freedom for the bird
                      but death for the fish,

                      The sea is wide for the fish
                      but will engulf the bird.

                      We ask for freedom but freedom to do what?
                      We can only express our nature as it was created.

                      The prayer mat of the earth is freedom,
                      freedom from slavery to other than the One,
                      Who offers an shoreless ocean of love to swim in
                      and a horizon that extends to the next life,
                      Yet we chose the prison and call it freedom.

                      ďAll our handling of the child will bear fruit, not only at the moment, but in the adult they are destined to become.Ē Donate today! http://campaign.justgiving.com/chari...iyahschool2015

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                        #12
                        Re: Toddler girl regarding self-stimulation/masturbation

                        I agree with the posts above, they don't know what masturbation is, and it's not that, it's just exploration (or like zee said it could be because it's sore?). If you tell her off it's not really fair on her because she doesn't understand why she's being told off, it's not rational (to her) that it's naughty to touch part of her. Distracting her with favourite toys or something else she likes is a good strategy, also a small, age appropriate explanation about it is good...... my little girl (nearly 4) was doing that, and I told her she should keep her fingers away from it cause her fingers were all grubby from playing outside, with paint, crayons, all sorts of toddler messy play lol, (she does wash her hands but they're a dirt magnet so they don't stay clean for long!) and that she should keep her "front bottom" clean otherwise it will get sore, that means cleaning it after using the toilet and not putting her grubby fingers there. And I totally agree with sis asiya that if you make a big deal out of it then it becomes a big deal. Keep everything low key and on the level of why you clean yourself after the toilet kind of thing, rather than making it into something naughty when they're too young to understand that it's naughty.




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                          #13
                          Re: Toddler girl regarding self-stimulation/masturbation

                          Both my sons like to play with their bits, it's stuck in a nappy all day so when they finally get a bit of freedom, they start touching it. DON'T call it masturbation, thats so dodgy, they don't even know what it is, let alone what it's for and stuff.

                          Just give her something else to play with and occupy her hands...it should stop by the time she goes to school/nursery if it doesn't then you gotta get some new tactics. I've got 18 nieces and nephews Masha'Allah, i've seen a number of them go through these phases, first time I saw my nephew sit on his mums lap and play with his thing, I was like 'What the hell?'

                          Overtime you realise it's nothing to worry about unless it lasts.

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                            #14
                            Re: Toddler girl regarding self-stimulation/masturbation

                            Like the above said, its not masturbation :vomit:
                            "And We will remove whatever is in their breasts of resentment, [so they will be] brothers, on thrones facing each other."
                            Al Hijr: 47

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                              #15
                              Re: Toddler girl regarding self-stimulation/masturbation

                              you need to stop this now in a good polite manner because this wil become a habbit. i know of some cases and the children mar full blown masturbating by 8 or 9 years old. girls can get horrible yeast infections and as for boys will its just dammages the family jewls perminatly.

                              this also will lead to sexual pomiscuity
                              And the (faithful) slaves of the Most Gracious (All‚h) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness. (25:63)

                              O You who believe! Shall I guide you to a trade that will save you from a painful torment? (10) That you believe in All‚h and His Messenger (Muhammad SAW),and that you strive hard and fight in the Cause of All‚h with your wealth and your lives, that will be better for you, if you but know! (11) (If you do so) He will forgive you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow, and pleasant dwellings in Adn (Edn) Paradise; that is indeed the great success. (12)

                              JazakAllah khair for the duas but i would prefer duas for shahadah instead.

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