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My Daughter is out of control

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  • My Daughter is out of control

    Assalamo alaikum brothers and sisters
    I wanted your advice because our daughter has completely gone out of control!!!
    we left my daughter a couple of years ago with my sister and her husband as she was near an Islamic school. She was repeatedly raped by my sisters husband. She was 16 and he threatened her by telling her if she told anyone he would expose her. She then got involved with another older man and quickly wanted to settle down and get married. And we just didn’t understand why. He is the local dope dealer and ex-convict. We went through her phone and that is where we saw the Inappropriate messages from my sisters husband. We confronted him but he obviously denied it but he was arrested but released on bail as my daughter is refusing to give her statement. She now wants space and goes to stay in hotels with the dope dealer - she has committed zina Numerous times. WE have asked her to tell him to come forward for her hand in marriage - it’s been months but nothing. We have asked why she is settling for a dope dealer and she said that’s the type of men she will attract now as she is “damaged goods”

    she is now 18 and off to college soon but we can’t pray enough that she flunks her exams and doesn’t leave as she isn’t in the right state of mind. She screaming at the top of her voice on the street when we try and reason with her. We just can’t understand what to do… can anyone. Please please please help with suggestions.

  • #2
    Where is her father in this? Does she have siblings who can support her? Cousins or aunts or some sort?

    I think you need to consider the cause and effect of putting a young girl in a house with a non-mahrem guy. It's different stance when that uncle is directly related to you (like your own brother) because he would be considered a mahrem. But these days, anything can happen to people. Your brother-in-law is not a mahrem to neither you or your daughter and they shouldn't be housed together.

    Put her in counseling specifically catered to sexual assault. You keep your distance from your sisters' husband. Inform all your family members and extended relatives, especially those with daughters her age about what this guy did to your girl. Because this will be a deterrant to keep them noted on this guy.

    You should start spreading the word around if you really think this happen and the police are doing no investigation on this rape case. It seems like it legit happened seeing she's behaving this way. He's out in the streets and not punished for what he did. He may think he can get away with this and continue repeating it.

    As for your daughter marrying early is a result of what happened to her and how her world came crashing down. The best thing you can do is gather relatives she knows to be on HER side and support her in any way they can.

    Ask for a protection order from the court against the guy - maybe you suggest it to her and tell her to do it to keep her protected under the law.

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    • #3
      waleikumusalam,

      so your toddler daughter is now all of a sudden a teenager?

      miraculous, I tell you

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