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Good parenting advice

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  • Good parenting advice


    One major reason why so many households suffer is because of a one-directional expectation of respect from parents towards their children.
    This mistaken belief that children MUST respect their parents 'no matter what' may sound inarguably true to most people, but if you think about it deeply it's actually quite specious.
    Yes, parents are deserving of respect but they are also expected to display behavior that is worthy of respect which includes being obedient and respectful to the commands of God, possessing good character, being upright and truthful, and—gasp, respecting their children!
    Sadly, for some, the idea of respecting children is not only laughable but seen as somehow undermining parental authority. Due to cultural practices or differing parenting philosophies, many believe that because of their age, size, and dependence, children should just be subservient to their parents and stay quiet and indebted for whatever they receive. In other words, respect is something children should and must give willingly to their parents, but not something they are entitled to. Again, this destructive way of thinking is at the root of why so many households are dysfunctional today.

    Parents who are respectful towards their children by listening to them, valuing their opinion, negotiating with them, speaking in a way that is respectful and never dismissive, apologizing when they make mistakes, explaining their decisions in a respectful way, etc., invite harmony and symbiosis into their relationships and homes. They model respectful behavior so naturally their children reciprocate in kind. By being God-fearing, truthful, and learning to regulate their emotions and words, they teach children virtuous behavior and command their respect. This in turn is reciprocated as their children show trust in them, and listen to their advice, opinions, perspectives, etc., without feeling the need to rebut them or disobey. It is a healthy, mutual, and beautiful exchange.

    In the absence of respect from the parent to the child, young children may be too afraid to speak up or challenge their parents—which may be perceived as being respectful, but is it? Over time these children can and often do become defiant, resentful, rebellious, combative, deceptive, and disruptive in a myriad number of ways. This is often met with great resistance and anger, and the cycle of dysfunction continues.

    So why is this viewpoint so common in so many of our cultures and households? Why do people still parent with these authoritarian models despite the astounding evidence against them? What will it take for us to realize that by not showing children respect but demanding it from them we are actually cultivating a culture of disrespect and contributing to a plethora of social problems that ensue?
    The bottomline is that children who are not shown respect by their parents end up losing respect for them (and likely everything they represent and believe, btw). Such households become toxic environments for everyone. And the parents are left baffled and filled with rage and disappointment because despite all of their efforts and sacrifices, their children completely stray from them and rebel.

    Be respectful and respectable, and show them respect because they belong to God, not you. They are His property, not yours. Honor them and they will honor you, and the chances that your relationship will thrive will exponentially increase.

    Source: (9) Facebook
    The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

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