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Do you feel like your parents love or hate you?

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  • #16
    Originally posted by Simply_Logical View Post

    Why would they think that about your dad?

    Yea bit strange for them to openly say that to you tbh
    It’s not completely unwarranted I will admit, he can be very difficult but they shouldn’t feel the need to express their opinions.

    This isn’t a one off thing either, it happens a lot. I think they feel bad for us and think that we are going to sit and agree with their insults. I get very defensive when that happens. If you’re not in the situation then you’re not allowed to complain! For real like I don’t know what they expect me to do. Run away? Cut him off? That’s never going to happen. I have just reached a higher level of patience then these people would be able to handle 😂


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    • #17
      I suspect that very often, they know far, far better than the parent does.

      The parent sometimes confuses what they think love is with what the child experiences as love.

      Parents might reject their child’s sexuality, or fashion choices, or romantic partners, or religious decisions, and justify their personal prejudices and insecurities as “love” for their child.

      In those situations, the child often knows better.

      But in my view, in a healthy parent-child relationship, the idea of a metric of love — of talking in terms of quantity of love or comparison to other loves — doesn’t happen. Love is a quality that pervades all aspects of the relationship, present at mealtime, chores, just hanging out, playing jokes on each other, being bored by each other while driving and shopping. It’s there, it’s solid, it’s a source of security. Quantification of that sort of emotion is just silly.

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      • #18
        Originally posted by Simply_Logical View Post

        Well I'm the only son and the strange thing is which you already know being Desi and all is that normally within asian households the guys get put on a pedestal but in my family's it's the women, something went wrong with my fam lol 😂😊🤦🤷
        Maybe she's had a bad experience with a man or men in her younger years so it's tainted her perception of men in general and she takes it out on you? I've seen that happen. What is her relationship like with your dad? Just don't treat it as a reflection of your own worth. If she harbours negative feelings towards you it's most likely the reasons have nothing to do with you and you shouldn't exert too much effort in trying to change that especially if it leads to building up false hope that she could change (if you want to make effort for her for the sake of Allah without expecting anything from her then that's okay).
        The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

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        • #19
          Originally posted by Simply_Logical View Post

          Well I'm the only son and the strange thing is which you already know being Desi and all is that normally within asian households the guys get put on a pedestal but in my family's it's the women, something went wrong with my fam lol 😂😊🤦🤷
          there's nothing wrong/strange about this, I see this quite normal (at least in my city) -- girls get preferential treatment not just in their homes, but also in colleges/unis/offices.

          "Europe died in Bosnia and was buried in Syria. Bodies of innocent children washing ashore are the
          western civilization's tombstones"


          Rajab Tayyab Erdogan

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          • #20
            Originally posted by Simply_Logical View Post
            Assalamualaiku wah rahmatullahi wah barakatuhu

            hey peeps, do you feel like your parents love or hate you?

            Or are you unsure and on the fence?

            Honestly I feel like my mother hates me and despises me jazakAllah khayran

            If your parents are righteous and they "hate you" you need to reflect
            If your parents are not religious and they "hate you" it could be you, them or both
            Do you obey Allah? Do you treat your parents with kindness and respect? if you do, then dont worry about it

            If you dont, worry, greatly
            .لا نريد زعيما يخاف البيت الإبيض
            نريد زعيما يخاف الواحد الأحد
            دولة الإسلامية باقية





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            • #21
              Originally posted by AbuMubarak View Post

              If your parents are righteous and they "hate you" you need to reflect
              If your parents are not religious and they "hate you" it could be you, them or both
              Do you obey Allah? Do you treat your parents with kindness and respect? if you do, then dont worry about it

              If you dont, worry, greatly
              yea but dont you ever feel trapped? this may sound stupid but ill be brutally honest this is how i feel,
              its like if your mother hates you and you think jannahs under your mothers feet and then you think youve got no chance of jannah and its like whats the point in doing any good then?
              just feels like youre doomed either way tbh

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              • #22
                Originally posted by Simply_Logical View Post

                yea but dont you ever feel trapped? this may sound stupid but ill be brutally honest this is how i feel,
                its like if your mother hates you and you think jannahs under your mothers feet and then you think youve got no chance of jannah and its like whats the point in doing any good then?
                just feels like youre doomed either way tbh
                I think that is a weak hadith. But Allah says be kind to your parents but only worship Him. So, I've really learnt that that means that we should know what their rights are and what our rights are cos boundaries on either side shouldn't be overstepped otherwise your relationship with Allah will be at stake.

                Mothers are not suppose to be making tawaf around their children hence the illnesses they get. Snd children aren't suppose to be putting their mothers above Allah's laws hence their messed up lives.


                They should be a healthy boundary and we should put Allah above them it will be a lot more healthy

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by Flawed View Post

                  I think that is a weak hadith. But Allah says be kind to your parents but only worship Him. So, I've really learnt that that means that we should know what their rights are and what our rights are cos boundaries on either side shouldn't be overstepped otherwise your relationship with Allah will be at stake.

                  Mothers are not suppose to be making tawaf around their children hence the illnesses they get. Snd children aren't suppose to be putting their mothers above Allah's laws hence their messed up lives.


                  They should be a healthy boundary and we should put Allah above them it will be a lot more healthy
                  are you sure its weak hadith? i always thought it was sahih tbh Allah swt knows best

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                  • #24
                    my parents love me I love them as well but I still don't know who my father really is, he was always busy when we were young and we didn't know much about his childhood or youth, he wouldn't tell us any stories etc, he doesn't really talk a lot but I know he loves us
                    حَسْبُنَا اللَّهُ وَ نِعْمَ الْوَكِيلُ

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by Hayaa View Post
                      my parents love me I love them as well but I still don't know who my father really is, he was always busy when we were young and we didn't know much about his childhood or youth, he wouldn't tell us any stories etc, he doesn't really talk a lot but I know he loves us
                      just to make me understand, how do you know he lurves you and your siblings if he doesnt talk to you? like how do you communicate?

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                      • #26
                        Why do you say lurve Simply_Logical ?

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by ten_toes View Post
                          Why do you say lurve Simply_Logical ?
                          Maybe his dialect.

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                          • #28
                            Originally posted by Simply_Logical View Post

                            just to make me understand, how do you know he lurves you and your siblings if he doesnt talk to you? like how do you communicate?
                            Simply can you dissect the reasons why yoi think youre mother doesnt like you as much maybe you are overthunking it sth. Give examples please jzk

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                            • #29
                              Originally posted by ten_toes View Post
                              Why do you say lurve Simply_Logical ?
                              im posh, so i speak the queens english, to be precise

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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by Flawed View Post

                                Simply can you dissect the reasons why yoi think youre mother doesnt like you as much maybe you are overthunking it sth. Give examples please jzk
                                hmmm too many to detail and i dont want to go into it in too much detail tbh

                                its obvious, i mean i wasnt born yesterday when something clear as night and day, theres no need to sugarcoat it to yourself,
                                best to be honest with yourself imo

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