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  • Hijab

    Salam aleikom dear brothers and sisters. My daughter she’s nearly 16 years old and she’s wearing hijab since the age of 10.Now she doesn’t want to wear it anymore. I did talk with her, beg her, you name it but no, she didn’t change her mind. Please advise me. I am going through a very difficult situation.Ma saalama

  • #2
    She's at the age now where she thinks she knows best. I was a very different person at 16 compared to now.

    Keep talking to her about it nicely. Don't force her or shout and embarrass her. InshaAllah she'll realise soon how important it is herself.

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    • #3
      Recite Surah Ad-Duha 21 times after Maghrib, each time with BismillahiRahmaniRahim, and Durood Sharif 11 times before and after. Blow on water and give it to your daughter to drink. Do this for 71 days, do not recite during the days when you cannot read Namaz, or ask your husband or any other male member of the house to read during those days for you, so that there are 71 continous days of recitation.

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      • #4
        Salam aleikom, dear brothers and sisters thank you 🙏 very much for your answers. Brother Prince it’s not easy taking your advice when you live in a community where they judge you by your hijab, what i mean if you wearing the hijab you are a very religious person and if not than you are a bad person. It’s hard when your relatives as well they will judge you, comments, whatever, but inshallah Allah is watching us and put us through many difficult times. Ma saalama

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        • #5
          Originally posted by umm shams View Post
          Salam aleikom dear brothers and sisters. My daughter she’s nearly 16 years old and she’s wearing hijab since the age of 10.Now she doesn’t want to wear it anymore. I did talk with her, beg her, you name it but no, she didn’t change her mind. Please advise me. I am going through a very difficult situation.Ma saalama
          salam alaykum wa rahmat allah
          when raising children it better to focus on growing the love of allah when they are young so in the case of your daughter she would wear it because she love allah not because you told her to do so
          try to do this with your other young children if you still have any as for your daughter have a long friendly conversation and ask her if the reason she is not wearing it is because it bothering her or from outside pressure then if you struggle to convince her feel free to tell us what her response was and we might inshaeallah be able to help you
          side note make sure you quote my response so i get a notification because if you dont i dont get an alert and might miss your response

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          • #6
            Wa Alaykum salaam

            allahul mustaa’aan. What a difficult situation, may Allah grant you sabr.

            Sister, how is your daughter with regard to her prayers? Have you noticed she has become lax in this regard too? If she has, then you should prioritise this Insha allah. If she’s on point with her prayer then alhamdulillah & May Allah keep her firm.

            Personally, I would encourage my daughter to do more voluntary actions, fasting Mondays & Thursdays, extra salaah etc rather than just focusing on her hijab. By encouraging her to do more actions, her heart may become soft & she may be more inclined to wear hijab again.

            How is her dress sense? Has that also changed since she removed her hijab? You may have to keep an eye out on this Insha allah
            https://islamicgemsandpearls.wordpress.com

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            • #7
              Originally posted by umm shams View Post
              Salam aleikom dear brothers and sisters. My daughter she’s nearly 16 years old and she’s wearing hijab since the age of 10.Now she doesn’t want to wear it anymore. I did talk with her, beg her, you name it but no, she didn’t change her mind. Please advise me. I am going through a very difficult situation.Ma saalama
              You need to take her out of public schooling and put her in distance learning if you can in shaa ALLAH. Because public schooling probably is the bad influence on your daughter that cause your daughter to take off her hijab which is haraam.

              Wa Alaykom Assalam sister
              ALLAH AL-ATHEEM created everything. Therefore ALLAH AL-ATHEEM created the earth and everything in the earth and created all of the heavens and everything in all of these heavens and created all of the hells and everything in all of these hells and created all of the universes and everything in all of these universes and created everything in between them.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Hamza1416 View Post

                salam alaykum wa rahmat allah
                when raising children it better to focus on growing the love of allah when they are young so in the case of your daughter she would wear it because she love allah not because you told her to do so
                try to do this with your other young children if you still have any as for your daughter have a long friendly conversation and ask her if the reason she is not wearing it is because it bothering her or from outside pressure then if you struggle to convince her feel free to tell us what her response was and we might inshaeallah be able to help you
                side note make sure you quote my response so i get a notification because if you dont i dont get an alert and might miss your response
                Salam aleikom all of you. I would like to clarify that she still wear her hijab till now. I did told her to wear it till I will discuss with someone from the masjid.She agreed.In the same time i will give you some information about myself. I am a convert married with a muslim arab born. I wear hijab from day 1of my marriage. I learn arabic talk and reading(not perfect but I try my best)read the Quran Kareem,praying on time, fasting.From small age we took her to Saturday arabic school. I found out that before the lockdown she did start to take her hijab off at school ( English school for girls) without us knowing.Out of nowhere told me about her hijab. I did ask her why, her response is that she feels like the hijab takes her more far from the deen. Her friends are practicing muslims without hijab. She promise me that if she will take her hijab off, she will get more in deen.She’s praying not on regular days but on and off. She’s fasting as well in the month of Ramadan.Thank you very much and ma saalama

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by umm shams View Post
                  Salam aleikom all of you. I would like to clarify that she still wear her hijab till now. I did told her to wear it till I will discuss with someone from the masjid.She agreed.In the same time i will give you some information about myself. I am a convert married with a muslim arab born. I wear hijab from day 1of my marriage. I learn arabic talk and reading(not perfect but I try my best)read the Quran Kareem,praying on time, fasting.From small age we took her to Saturday arabic school. I found out that before the lockdown she did start to take her hijab off at school ( English school for girls) without us knowing.Out of nowhere told me about her hijab. I did ask her why, her response is that she feels like the hijab takes her more far from the deen. Her friends are practicing muslims without hijab. She promise me that if she will take her hijab off, she will get more in deen.She’s praying not on regular days but on and off. She’s fasting as well in the month of Ramadan.Thank you very much and ma saalama
                  ask her how does taking her hijab off will bring her closer to the deen ?
                  tell her that the hijab is a practice of the deen too and if you neglect it its like neglecting prayers you cant practice some of the religion and neglect other parts and tell her that the people will should be looking up to are the companions not our friends in school .
                  looking forward to hear her answers

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                  • #10
                    Might be worth speaking of khadijah and maryam (peace on them both).
                    Others have given a lot of advice too.
                    "When you want to cry, laugh.
                    If you're frozen in fear, you can't do anything"

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Assalamu alaikum,

                      Who are her companions?

                      If they are also not wearing Hijaab then maybe this is partly what's causing her to not want to wear it. Does she watch TV and/or read lots of non-Muslim magazines?


                      Narrated AbuHurayrah:

                      The Prophet (ﷺ) said: A man follows the religion of his friend; so each one should consider whom he makes his friend.
                      Sunan Abi Dawud 4833
                      Gaded Hasan (Al-Albani)


                      Have you ever considered making Hijrah to a Muslim country?

                      I remember reading an article about a man who moved his family to a Muslim only village in Indonesia. He said that before he moved there his daughter would only listen to popular music.. but now she just reads Qur'an every day.

                      Allah says in the Quran:


                      يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ قُوٓا۟ أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًۭا وَقُودُهَا ٱلنَّاسُ وَٱلْحِجَارَةُ عَلَيْهَا مَلَـٰٓئِكَةٌ غِلَاظٌۭ شِدَادٌۭ لَّا يَعْصُونَ ٱللَّهَ مَآ أَمَرَهُمْ وَيَفْعَلُونَ مَا يُؤْمَرُونَ

                      (translation of the meaning)

                      "O believers! Protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, overseen by formidable and severe angels, who never disobey whatever Allah orders—always doing as commanded."

                      [66:6]


                      وَمَن يُهَاجِرْ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ يَجِدْ فِي الْأَرْضِ مُرَاغَمًا كَثِيرًا وَسَعَةً ۚ وَمَن يَخْرُجْ مِن
                      بَيْتِهِ مُهَاجِرًا إِلَى اللَّهِ وَرَسُولِهِ ثُمَّ يُدْرِكْهُ الْمَوْتُ فَقَدْ وَقَعَ أَجْرُهُ عَلَى اللَّهِ ۗ وَكَانَ اللَّهُ غَفُورًا رَّحِيمًا

                      “He who emigrates (from his home) in the Cause of Allah, will find on earth many dwelling places and plenty to live by. And whosoever leaves his home as an emigrant unto Allah and His Messenger, and death overtakes him, his reward is then surely incumbent upon Allah. And Allah is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful”

                      (Translation of meaning)

                      [an-Nisa’ 4:100]



                      ‘Amr ibn al-‘As reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Do you not know that embracing Islam wipes away all sins committed before it, that emigration wipes away what came before it, and the Hajj pilgrimage wipes away what came before it?”

                      [Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 121]


                      May Allah guide us all to that which pleases Him, protect our offspring and grant us Jannat Al-Firdaws. Ameen!
                      www.puremuslimmatch.com

                      *The Free Marriage Agency for practising Muslims*

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