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  • Teens and smartphone

    Would give your teen a smartphone? At what age?

  • #2
    https://www.ummah.com/forum/forum/fa...-loaded-weapon
    ​​NOTE: Please kindly avoid 'liking' my posts. Thank you! (Jazaa'akumullah khair)

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    • #3
      Mine got at secondary school, around 14.

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      • #4
        I haven't watched the video, but personally I don't see the correlation between iman and a smartphone. There is filth everywhere now, if someone really wants to access it they will find means. I do agree that a smartphone will make that easier if they are going to do it, but I see the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. My mum was very trusting of me growing up and I got some freedoms that others would have looked upon as possible enabling of sin, but that trust meant a lot to me and I was determined to keep it. The acquaintances I had with the strictest parents who banned everything were actually the worst, they had to be very devious in order to do things but they still did it.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by UmmAbdullah86 View Post

          I haven't watched the video, but personally I don't see the correlation between iman and a smartphone. There is filth everywhere now, if someone really wants to access it they will find means. I do agree that a smartphone will make that easier if they are going to do it, but I see the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. My mum was very trusting of me growing up and I got some freedoms that others would have looked upon as possible enabling of sin, but that trust meant a lot to me and I was determined to keep it. The acquaintances I had with the strictest parents who banned everything were actually the worst, they had to be very devious in order to do things but they still did it.
          Have a watch, inshaAllah, or rather just leave it on and listen, maybe. Did sister grow up with a smartphone and Internet access at the touch of the fingertips from 6 and 7 years of age in today's world, though? If we're to believe the figures (and I've seen from sister's own posts on here on this), the misuse of phones and similar when it comes to grown adults, what about children?

          I understand there's the negative of being strict to the point it causes children to rebel, but as long as there are healthy alternatives in how Children spend time it ought to minimise their attachment to these things...
          That would be up to the parents, though and how much they are willing to prioritise and sacrifice their time.
          ​​NOTE: Please kindly avoid 'liking' my posts. Thank you! (Jazaa'akumullah khair)

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Fakhri-bin-Ali View Post

            Have a watch, inshaAllah, or rather just leave it on and listen, maybe. Did sister grow up with a smartphone and Internet access at the touch of the fingertips from 6 and 7 years of age in today's world, though? If we're to believe the figures (and I've seen from sister's own posts on here on this), the misuse of phones and similar when it comes to grown adults, what about children?

            I understand there's the negative of being strict to the point it causes children to rebel, but as long as there are healthy alternatives in how Children spend time it ought to minimise their attachment to these things...
            That would be up to the parents, though and how much they are willing to prioritise and sacrifice their time.
            I totally disagree with giving children phones/tablets from a young age, definitely.

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            • #7
              Maybe 18/19 or never.

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              • #8
                I know this is really old fashioned, but I wouldn't give kids a smart phone. My brother suggested getting smart phones for his kids some years ago I'm guessing they were around 11-13 years old at the time. I warned him against it and my parents and didi warned them against it but he didn't listen to us. We told him that when the kids come here, they ask to use the desktop or tablet and spend the whole time engrossed in that (but as it's a shared computer they can't use it when I'm using it so then they have to find a different way to spend their time)- if they get a smart phone, they'll spend all their time on that. My brother said naively "no, it's okay we can apply some boundaries" because the kids pestered him and he decided to give in. He loves technology anyway so doesn't have the kind of apprehension or suspicions about it the way I have. Anyway we were right of course and he has to remind them sternly again and again to put the phone down when they're at the dinner table so that's the one time they have any sort of conversation and even then, they are counting the minutes as to when it's over so they can go back to their devices again.

                I think children should have a shared computer at home so that they can do homework and use it in a constructive way. Children can't be denied internet access altogether as it's such an integral part of our lives now, but at least with a desktop it's in one location. After they log off or go to another room, they don't have the temptation of a phone in front of them. When they go outside, they have to take in their surroundings and don't have to be engrossed in a device. I think if parents want children to have a phone for contact in emergencies then get an old nokia phone or one of the old models where the internet is very limited, they can't access videos or that sort of thing. That way children have internet access but it is naturally regulated and there's less temptation.

                I say all this not just because I have concerns about accessing porn, but also because of the damaging effects of screen time on children and the fact that it is so addictive, yet there are children using these devices at the age of 3 and it was never designed for use by children. Statistics are suggesting that children today are so engrossed in devices from an early age that in primary school they do not have basic skills like ability to run properly or throw a ball or other simple day to day motor skills we took for granted because they spend so much time indoors on a device that the stuff we learned naturally as kids by playing outside with neighbours and friends is being lost.
                The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

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                • #9
                  The peer pressure is a problem for teenagers. How do you deal with bullies that pick on kids without the latest gadgets.

                  The child getting bullied will feel like they are missing out, it can effect their confidence and teachers can't really do much to stop the bullies all the time.

                  I remember getting picked on for not having MSN LOL.

                  i agree with neelu, exactly how I feel

                  Children are out of control even more now so it is a bit trickier to implement rules when every other kid does what they want (from the looks of it)

                  A toddler will give you orders
                  'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                  So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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                  • #10
                    All the teens do whatever they want. I have a teen 15 that doesn't have any of this stuff, but I know she would like it. I want to wait until she is 19 or 20.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by LaylaAb View Post
                      All the teens do whatever they want. I have a teen 15 that doesn't have any of this stuff, but I know she would like it. I want to wait until she is 19 or 20.
                      i'd say to wait in Sha Allah

                      She is better off focusing on studying, reading books, helping around the house, helping you look after the younger siblings etc (if she doesn't already).

                      It will help her to mature and be more responsible

                      I think technology makes people lazy



                      'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                      So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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                      • #12
                        22
                        The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “It will be said to the companion of the Qur’an: ‘Read, and ascend, and recite as you used to recite in the [previous] world, for your status will be according to the last verse that you recite.’” [At-Tirmidhi (2914) and Abu Dawood (1464)]

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                        • #13
                          I didn’t get a phone until the end of 10th grade and at that point I was deprived of social media and texting so much that I didn’t feel the need to start after I got it. The longer you wait the better.

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                          • #14
                            Depends on the teen.

                            Better to give him access to a shared smartphone rather than a personal one.

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                            • #15
                              Peer pressure is a rubbish excuse for anything. Peer pressure is the reason why Muslims reluctantly let their kids attend or participate in school nativity plays, Xmas parties, buying each other easter eggs and so on. So many parents loathe the idea of young primary school kids getting smart phones but these days everything is about FOMO- fear of missing out so they still buy them and half the time the phone will have access to porn or other unsavoury material if the parents aren't tech savvy enough to disable it. Also bullies are the worst people to choose to define how you live your life.

                              I understand with teenagers that if they want to arrange going out or chat amongst themselves then that would be tricky if they don't have the latest chat app (which is why the idea of a shared family phone could work), but giving them their own personal phones i think is usually a bad idea. When I was in school, one of my friends was from an English Christian family and she didn't have a TV in the house till she was 12. Back in the 80s, everyone had a TV so that was really unusual. I remember she wasn't like the other English kids; she was quite intelligent and she was never obsessed with pop stars or celebrities or trying to get a boyfriend or anything like that.

                              Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                              The peer pressure is a problem for teenagers. How do you deal with bullies that pick on kids without the latest gadgets.

                              The child getting bullied will feel like they are missing out, it can effect their confidence and teachers can't really do much to stop the bullies all the time.

                              I remember getting picked on for not having MSN LOL.

                              i agree with neelu, exactly how I feel

                              Children are out of control even more now so it is a bit trickier to implement rules when every other kid does what they want (from the looks of it)

                              A toddler will give you orders
                              The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

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