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Why are the new generation muslims wanting a smaller family ?

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  • #61
    I don't know if this has been mentioned, but I think one of the reasons is that the newer generation have a different idea of what it means to be a parent, and what role a parent should have in a child's life. I feel like the older generation don't give much importance to the amount of attention and emotional care that each individual child should receive from them. Not saying it's good or bad, just an observation on why our generation might prefer a smaller family.

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    • #62
      I don't know exactly my thoughts on this issue. For a long time I thought it was sinful not to want anymore children. I thought a lot of my struggles in life was because of this fact.

      I stopped having children years ago, but I have many reasons for it. I know many ppl question why I don't have more kids because they assume I'm a pious person (which I'm not really, just regular Muslim). One of my main reasons is, I happen to put all my energy and resources into rasing children which takes a lot out of me. I have to breastfeed each child for 2 years, homeschool, make sure they become hafiz, make sure they have righteous friends, teaching them all Islamic manners, make sure they don't get abused, etc.

      Some times I see ppl with so many kids and they are so relaxed and their kids are in daycare or public school or sit in front of the t.v. and free access to WiFi all day or whatnot. They barely do any parenting. And I'm here stressing out and I think no wonder they can have so many kids. But I just can't get myself to do half of those things. Currently with the lockdown situation parents are forced to be with their children at home, and from what I'm hearing a lot of parents are complaining. And it got me thinking, why do ppl have children if they can't even be with them? It is not the daycares' and schools' responsibility to raise your children. It's just so odd.

      I can't raise a lot of children properly in an Islamic way living in the west so I choose to settle with my current number. Another reason is, I don't have much support in raising pious children, so I feel like knowing this and continuing to have children is a disservice to them. I'm also in an unstable situation.

      Regardless, I still feel guilty.

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      • #63
        Originally posted by Juwairiyyah View Post
        I don't know if this has been mentioned, but I think one of the reasons is that the newer generation have a different idea of what it means to be a parent, and what role a parent should have in a child's life. I feel like the older generation don't give much importance to the amount of attention and emotional care that each individual child should receive from them. Not saying it's good or bad, just an observation on why our generation might prefer a smaller family.
        I've heard this from those who are close to my heart. But in reality the free time they manage to secure by have smaller amount of children, they are out socialising or on a holiday. But yes for some this is true but not always some use this as an excuse from what I have seen. My only gripe is parents were honest about it...they want/need more "me" time for personal goals - no harm in it but just be honest

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        • #64
          Originally posted by Juwairiyyah View Post
          I don't know if this has been mentioned, but I think one of the reasons is that the newer generation have a different idea of what it means to be a parent, and what role a parent should have in a child's life. I feel like the older generation don't give much importance to the amount of attention and emotional care that each individual child should receive from them. Not saying it's good or bad, just an observation on why our generation might prefer a smaller family.
          Interesting, I cannot deny that.

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          • #65
            ...because a lot of the newer generation of muslims live and behave like the kuffar. It's all out in the open and clear to see.

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            • #66
              Originally posted by Spacewing View Post
              Children are a fitna , a trial.
              so they are not a blessing?
              And whatever you have of favor - it is from Allah. Then when adversity touches you, to Him you cry for help

              [an-Nahl 16:53].

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              • #67
                hahas
                Last edited by Magic.; 23-05-20, 07:30 PM.
                And whatever you have of favor - it is from Allah. Then when adversity touches you, to Him you cry for help

                [an-Nahl 16:53].

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                • #68
                  bbsba
                  Last edited by Magic.; 23-05-20, 07:30 PM.
                  And whatever you have of favor - it is from Allah. Then when adversity touches you, to Him you cry for help

                  [an-Nahl 16:53].

                  Comment


                  • #69
                    Originally posted by Gingerbeardman View Post

                    That depends how you want to live.

                    In my experience, most of the people complaining about the cost of living are living close to the limit of their means on modern tech and luxuries. Flat screen tv's, latest phones and holidays to turkey and morocco should not be seen as a good trade off in not following the sunnah and increasing the size of the ummah.
                    Yes you are right. Some luxuries have become real needs for us
                    Mohammed Fayaz

                    May Peace, Mercy and Blessings of Allah be on All of You

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                    • #70
                      i want as many kids as possible! and i don't care about luxuries, holidays etc

                      if a used toyota works no need for a new mercedes

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                      • #71
                        Things are so expensive these days maybe they think they will have a harder life with more kids? That could be one reason

                        Allahu alam

                        30 years ago you could buy a house for 2-5k now its 140k

                        You could buy one on minimum wage within a few years

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                        • #72
                          Originally posted by Bayna3 View Post
                          Things are so expensive these days maybe they think they will have a harder life with more kids? That could be one reason

                          Allahu alam

                          30 years ago you could buy a house for 2-5k now its 140k

                          You could buy one on minimum wage within a few years
                          who cares about buying a house muslims shouldn't tbh
                          riba riba riba everywhere btw in london a house is like 400k+ so no normal person can afford that without yep riba

                          no such thing as an islamic mortgage all they do is change interest to "fees"

                          i would rather build a mosque in some random village where hundreds of people can pray than get a house for myself

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                          • #73
                            At least these Muslims have gotten married and had children. I'm seeing Muslim men and women single into their 40s, living away from home and seeing marriage as a burden rather than a duty.

                            What is the solution to this? Our numbers are being decimated generation by generation due to small families and unmarried Muslims.
                            And all of them are coming to Him on the Day of Resurrection alone. [Sura Maryam: 95]

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                            • #74
                              Most of those single men in their 40s are probably the same delusional folk you can find in this thread who think they will have multitudes of kids, will never need to buy a house, and find a women who will be happy living with their family of 15 in a two bedroom house with an attic....

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                              • #75
                                Originally posted by FKY View Post
                                Most of those single men in their 40s are probably the same delusional folk you can find in this thread who think they will have multitudes of kids, will never need to buy a house, and find a women who will be happy living with their family of 15 in a two bedroom house with an attic....
                                why you so bitter? What's wrong with living in an attic?

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