Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

How often should the ‘Non Resident Parent’ see their children?

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post

    I don't know how these men live with themselves. It's wrong to abandon your children regardless of gender, but how can you just desert your daughter as a man? This has to go against Fitra, unless you have no soul. What if she turns into a crack smoking prostitute or something? Audhu Billah.
    Wallahi I have no idea. Allahul Mustaa’aan. It’s very distressing to know that there are men out there & let’s forget about the non believing men but ‘practising’ Muslim men who can behave in such a manner. The worse thing is, many of the Brothers who cut ties with their children use the same old rhetoric ‘my ex was a psycho...well...IF she was a psycho then all the more reason for you to be there for your children! Allahul mustaa’aan¬¬†
    Last edited by Layla_; 31-10-19, 04:35 PM. Reason: Mad typos
    https://islamicgemsandpearls.wordpress.com

    Comment


    • Originally posted by Layla_ View Post

      Wallahi I have no idea. Allahul Mustaa’aan. It’s very distressing to know that there are men out there & let’s forget about the non believing men but ‘practising’ Muslim men who can behave in such a manner. The worse thing is, many of the Brothers who cut ties with their children use the same old rhetoric ‘my ex was a push of well IF she was a psycho then all the more reason for you to be there for your children! Allahul mustaa’aan¬
      Yeah, it's ridiculous to imagine a Muslim like this. I've personally never came across any that I'm aware of in real life.

      But then again, don't forget that there are 3 levels to Islam: Islam (submission), Imaan (true faith), and Ihsan (spiritual excellence). I doubt those men who completely abandon their children have true Imaan or Ihsaan, despite their long beards and praying in the Masjid.

      Comment


      • Originally posted by Layla_ View Post


        This should be interesting
        Just re-posting this so it stays on the main page.

        Comment


        • Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post

          Yeah, it's ridiculous to imagine a Muslim like this. I've personally never came across any that I'm aware of in real life.

          But then again, don't forget that there are 3 levels to Islam: Islam (submission), Imaan (true faith), and Ihsan (spiritual excellence). I doubt those men who completely abandon their children have true Imaan or Ihsaan, despite their long beards and praying in the Masjid.
          I had not come across cases in real life either up until receiving a couple of marriage proposals from divorced brothers. 
          The imam was just shocking. Sometimes brothers think that sisters will get happy if they tell us that they have nothing to do with their children but for me I would reject them straight away as that’s a huge red flag and if I was to marry them, whose to say I won’t be the next psycho ex that they have abandoned along with any children?! It’s actually really funny asking some brothers ‘how’s your contact with your children like’ because they assume you want to hear it’s non existent. So they will happily say they have nothing to do with their children & when you say wow Subhanallah thats not good etc they will back track and make a million excuses but it’s too late¬†
          What’s sad is that some of these brothers will play happy families with their next wife and any children that she already has, whilst neglecting their own. It’s just really sad¬†
          https://islamicgemsandpearls.wordpress.com

          Comment


          • Originally posted by Layla_ View Post

            Wallahi I have no idea. Allahul Mustaa’aan. It’s very distressing to know that there are men out there & let’s forget about the non believing men but ‘practising’ Muslim men who can behave in such a manner. The worse thing is, many of the Brothers who cut ties with their children use the same old rhetoric ‘my ex was a psycho...well...IF she was a psycho then all the more reason for you to be there for your children! Allahul mustaa’aan¬¬¬†
            I live in an area where there are lots of Muslims and you hear it often that so and so does not see his kids because the ex wife won't let him. I often think well did he try all means available to keep in contact?

            In the UK dads should do all they can to see their children and keep all the evidence incase they really are not given permission to see them. That way once the children are older or he starts seeing them later along the years he can show his children he tried to see them.
             

            Comment


            • Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post

              I don't know how these men live with themselves. It's wrong to abandon your children regardless of gender, but how can you just desert your daughter as a man? This has to go against Fitra, unless you have no soul. What if she turns into a crack smoking prostitute or something? Audhu Billah.
              He'll just blame that on the child's mother, wasn't looking after her properly, never raised her right.  The man will have moved on to another wife and family so he won't really care.

              Comment


              • Originally posted by UmmAbdullah86 View Post

                He'll just blame that on the child's mother, wasn't looking after her properly, never raised her right.¬ The man will have moved on to another wife and family so he won't really care.
                Ajeeb. They deserve to be punished in the Hereafter.

                Comment


                • Originally posted by UmmAbdullah86 View Post

                  He'll just blame that on the child's mother, wasn't looking after her properly, never raised her right.¬ The man will have moved on to another wife and family so he won't really care.
                  It's very unfair. I can see how the actions of my father affected my sister, and we had a mother who did a lot more than most women.

                  My sister sought out my father's attention when we were small, didn't get it, and now she sounds like a stereotypical case of a girl with "daddy issues".
                  وَمَنْ أَعْرَضَ عَنْ ذِكْرِي فَإِنَّ لَهُ مَعِيشَةً ضَنْكًا

                  And whoever turns away from My remembrance – indeed, he will have a depressed life.
                  (Quran 20:124)

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by Mintchocchip View Post

                    I live in an area where there are lots of Muslims and you hear it often that so and so does not see his kids because the ex wife won't let him. I often think well did he try all means available to keep in contact?

                    In the UK dads should do all they can to see their children and keep all the evidence incase they really are not given permission to see them. That way once the children are older or he starts seeing them later along the years he can show his children he tried to see them.
                    ¬¬†
                    The father should definitely try. 

                    I know when my brother went through something similar, he didn't want to disrupt his kids being bounced back and forth between the parents. He had decided to help their mother financially and not upset the kids by seeing them. As it was difficult for him to say goodbye each time as the kids were screaming and crying. 

                    But I assured him it would get easier and not to stay out of their lives as they're going to resent him for being absent. 

                    Now Alhamdulillah he has 50/50 access and the kids are a lot happier seeing him (and the rest of their extended family), whereas before their mother didn't allow anyone else to even talk or wave to the kids in public. 


                     

                    Comment


                    • Meet them everyday online in fortnite.¬†

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by Indefinable View Post

                        The father should definitely try.¬

                        I know when my brother went through something similar, he didn't want to disrupt his kids being bounced back and forth between the parents. He had decided to help their mother financially and not upset the kids by seeing them. As it was difficult for him to say goodbye each time as the kids were screaming and crying.¬

                        But I assured him it would get easier and not to stay out of their lives as they're going to resent him for being absent.¬

                        Now Alhamdulillah he has 50/50 access and the kids are a lot happier seeing him (and the rest of their extended family), whereas before their mother didn't allow anyone else to even talk or wave to the kids in public.¬


                        ¬
                        Glad you advised him. He would've made the dumbest decision.
                        Believe none of what you hear, and only half of what you see.

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by InTheBegining View Post

                          Glad you advised him. He would've made the dumbest decision.
                          Yes, Alhamdulillah he is a lot happier now. 

                          I'm certain he would have regretted it, if he'd just left things the way his ex wanted to, regarding the kids. 

                          Comment


                          • I think many men use the 'don't want to upset the kids' line as a pure lazy cop out.¬¬† If you love your children then you will fight to see them.

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by UmmAbdullah86 View Post
                              I think many men use the 'don't want to upset the kids' line as a pure lazy cop out.¬¬¬† If you love your children then you will fight to see them.
                              Maybe some do, but that wasn't the case with my brother. 

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X