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What would you do if your son/daughter doesn't want to pray?

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  • #16
    Originally posted by Layla_ View Post
    There lies the biggest problem. Once he started playing up, the parents should have made more of an effort to bring him back to Allah and not wait until after university. Parents have a lot more control over a child in high school then an adult in university.
    If the parents have raised him upon tawheed then his fitra will eventually lead him back to worshipping Allah. I’ve heard in many lectures that if parents raise their children correctly and upon tawheed then even if they slip, they will always return to Allah and worship him.
    The parents need to make heartfelt dua to Allah subhanahu wa ta aala to return their child to worshipping Allah. The importance of a mothers dua for her child is never to be underestimated. If someone really wants something, they will wake up in the middle of the night and beg Allah
    i dont agree in forcing anything on anyone so it’s not my style to keep pestering someone to pray if they don’t want to. The parents need to give dawah to their son but not be overbearing. Perhaps put on some Islamic reminders about the importance of prayer and allahs mercy
    if the father prays at the masjid tell him to maybe start leading the congregation at home and gently ask the son to join them?
    I tottaly agree with you sis. I also put the blame on them. They should have stopped him when he was young and could be controlled.
    his father is not playing his role. He should be tough and strict. Because when he gently tells him to pray , he either ignore him or gets angry.
    Last edited by Farah. A; 08-06-19, 06:33 AM.

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    • #17
      Originally posted by FKY View Post
      Every jummah when I go to the masjid, the Imams there are always giving speeches about issues here and there and since last 20 years not once have I heard them guide people on the importance of salah even though you can tell some people there only pray the occasional prayer. It’s not sad but tragic.
      This. I don't know why but Friday Khutbas rarely address the issue of Salah.

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      • #18
        Originally posted by FKY View Post
        Every jummah when I go to the masjid, the Imams there are always giving speeches about issues here and there and since last 20 years not once have I heard them guide people on the importance of salah even though you can tell some people there only pray the occasional prayer. It’s not sad but tragic.
        Imams or shaykhs in this day and age dont talk about

        kufr of leaving salah
        Kufr bit taghut
        enjoining good forbidding evil
        wala wal bara
        Revival of sharia and darul islam
        jihad
        riba and how Allah goes to war with people who take it
        Awrah of men and women
        How zina is rampant in the youth

        and even if they touch on it they never go deep in it

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        • #19
          I thought it is only in my country that the khutba is pointless

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          • #20
            She can only advise him now and make du'a for him to be guided.

            What else can you do with a fully grown adult who knows right from wrong?

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            • #21
              Originally posted by Farah. A View Post
              I know someone who has a son who is 28 now. He doesn't want to pray. He only pray jummah. He fast in ramadan. He knows that Salah is obligatory. His mom is really suffering from this.
              what would you do if you are in the same situation?
              SubhanAllah I was exactly that, the son that didnt pray when his mother asked him too. I even stopped praying Jummah and fasting in Ramadan. Through his mercy Allah put me in situations completely out the blue, to bring me closer to him. A year later and I'm a completely different person. Just make Dua, Dua can change any situation in a heartbeat.

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              • #22
                Originally posted by Haroon123 View Post

                SubhanAllah I was exactly that, the son that didnt pray when his mother asked him too. I even stopped praying Jummah and fasting in Ramadan. Through his mercy Allah put me in situations completely out the blue, to bring me closer to him. A year later and I'm a completely different person. Just make Dua, Dua can change any situation in a heartbeat.
                Really?? May Allah keep you steadfast on his Deen.
                Yes I told her to make Duaa of sayidna Ibraheem

                ​​​​ My Lord, make me an establisher of prayer, and [many] from my descendants. Our Lord, and accept my supplication.( Ibraheem : 40 )

                Please guys make Duaa for him. His mom is really suffering.

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by Haroon123 View Post

                  SubhanAllah I was exactly that, the son that didnt pray when his mother asked him too. I even stopped praying Jummah and fasting in Ramadan. Through his mercy Allah put me in situations completely out the blue, to bring me closer to him. A year later and I'm a completely different person. Just make Dua, Dua can change any situation in a heartbeat.
                  I was in a similar position a while back. Born into a Muslim family but seriousness of prayer was never installed into me. I went completely wayward for a period where religion was not even at the back of my mind. Then one day my life just completely turned upside down and I had no choice but turn back to Allah. It took some extreme circumstances to bring me back but alhamdulillah. Now I truly understand how Allah(SWT)is the only one who can guide someone.

                  If I didn’t go through what I went through, there is not anything anyone could have said to me at that time that would have changed me. Maybe someone prayed for my guidance. Allah knows.

                  Always keep praying for the guidance of your loved ones. Only Allah can bring about the circumstances for what will cause the change in someone.

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by Farah. A View Post
                    I thought it is only in my country that the khutba is pointless
                    If the khateeb (in Egypt) says something the government doesn't approve of he'll get taken "behind the sun" as Egyptians would say.

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by Poster View Post

                      The masajid is filled with mukhabarat over there. If the khateeb says something the government doesn't approve of he'll get taken "behind the sun" as Egyptians would say.
                      yes true. Anyway the khutba can tackle improtant topics like Salah , fasting,etc. That has nothing to do with politics tho
                      Last edited by Farah. A; 09-06-19, 08:11 PM.

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                      • #26
                        Originally posted by notEVOLVED View Post
                        Usually, such people come to their senses when something big happens like losing someone very close etc.
                        As I said and you can see from the two brothers' story above. If Allah puts you through a difficult situation, it is to bring you closer to Him.

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by Farah. A View Post
                          I know someone who has a son who is 28 now. He doesn't want to pray. He only pray jummah. He fast in ramadan. He knows that Salah is obligatory. His mom is really suffering from this.
                          what would you do if you are in the same situation?
                          Be patient and advise him.

                          Honestly, some youngsters today are into drugs, gangster culture, dating etc.

                          This person is praying on Jummah, from what I have read, some opinions consider this to be the minimum. He is fasting ramadan, which is good.

                          Maybe he is lazy. I have been in that situation myself.

                          How have I reacted when someone condemns me? honestly, I get defensive, and a part of me thinks I will pray to God because I want to pray to God, not because someone is trying to force me.

                          It is a delicate manner and needs to be handled in the correct manner. I think with family, we should respond with kindness and patience, rather than condemning and threatening. My dad used to pray and get everyone together, so it turned into almost a family event and was enjoyable. We should be helping each other not driving wedges and threatening to kick people out of homes. What happens then? they fall into bad company, and then what? who can they turn to?

                          There are so many dangers out there for Muslims, we are all flawed and we want to treat our own so harshly. Why?

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                          • #28
                            Originally posted by Farah. A View Post
                            I know someone who has a son who is 28 now. He doesn't want to pray. He only pray jummah. He fast in ramadan. He knows that Salah is obligatory. His mom is really suffering from this.
                            what would you do if you are in the same situation?
                            This is one of the worst disasters, 28 years old and he doesn't want to pray. What was he doing for the last 18 years?

                            He would be given some time to start praying, if he refuses would get rid of him out the house.
                            http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

                            "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

                            – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

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                            • #29
                              He is 28, he is an adult. There isn't much the parents can do. The parents aren't responsible for his iman & he is not a child for them to control. The more the parents nag, the further he will go. The best they can do is create an Islamic environment, take him to umrah. Attend those family Islamic events where he is exposed to more muslim. But salah is personal & it is something he will come to terms on his own. As another poster said, there are many people who take their religion casually until something big happens in life which reminds them of Allah. The good thing is, this brother has iman in him but he is doing the bare minimal. It shows he has it in him to increase his practice but it will have to me when he is ready.

                              His mom can pray for him & get him involved without pushing. Introduce him to practicing guys he can be friends with. Our environment makes a big difference. I went to umrah last year and my 20 year old cousin asked me to pray for him, that he makes salah regular part of his life. This guy is aware and wants prayer to be regular part of his life but he is so lazy in all aspect of life, not just salah that he finds himself not praying. It is a common struggle for many

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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by Farah. A View Post
                                I know someone who has a son who is 28 now. He doesn't want to pray. He only pray jummah. He fast in ramadan. He knows that Salah is obligatory. His mom is really suffering from this.
                                what would you do if you are in the same situation?
                                Why doesn't he want to pray?

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