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  • School residential trips

    Asalamualikum, my eldest daughter is 11 and in year 6. They have a residential trip in a few months time for 2 nights and they are going to a city 3 hours drive away from us. I have always told my daughter that she wont be allowed in over night trips, but the problem now is that all her class is going and it is mentally affecting her. My daughter is coming home everyday with a sad face and asking me if I can change my mind because she really does want to go but I am sooo anxious. She has never been away from me for that long. What is other peoples thoughts with same aged or older age children? Did you let them/will let them on residential trips? Are thise trips safe? Jazakallah

  • #2
    Wa allaikumasalaam,

    I was allowed on my first residential trip overnight in Year 4, and allowed on my first abroad residential trip in Year 8. These trips are safe, the girls tend to sleep in dormitories with them all in one room, or if not, they then share rooms with 3 or 4 other girls.

    Tell her to always bring another girl with her wherever she goes so she is never alone, but other than that, these trips are well-managed and safe. It’s an experience worth letting her go, it teaches her independence and prepares her for needing to be wary in the real world.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by vivi View Post
      Wa allaikumasalaam,

      I was allowed on my first residential trip overnight in Year 4, and allowed on my first abroad residential trip in Year 8. These trips are safe, the girls tend to sleep in dormitories with them all in one room, or if not, they then share rooms with 3 or 4 other girls.

      Tell her to always bring another girl with her wherever she goes so she is never alone, but other than that, these trips are well-managed and safe. It’s an experience worth letting her go, it teaches her independence and prepares her for needing to be wary in the real world.
      Thanks for your reply, where I went to school we rarely went to day trips so obviously no overnight trips. I have no experience how safe these trips are in UK thats why me and my husband are panicking.

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      • #4
        if its a non muslim school i wouldnt
        you dont know what boundaries they will keep or not

        if its a muslim school as long as its female staff with her and supervised then yes

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        • #5
          Originally posted by somayaa View Post

          Thanks for your reply, where I went to school we rarely went to day trips so obviously no overnight trips. I have no experience how safe these trips are in UK thats why me and my husband are panicking.
          wa alaykum salam

          Why don't you try calling the principal of the school and get details on their trip. You can also explain to him/her your situation and get an idea on how they accommodate the children, and then take it from there?
          Last edited by AmantuBillahi; 06-11-18, 11:21 PM. Reason: Inevitable typos

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          • #6
            Originally posted by somayaa View Post

            Thanks for your reply, where I went to school we rarely went to day trips so obviously no overnight trips. I have no experience how safe these trips are in UK thats why me and my husband are panicking.
            No problem, my parents had the same worries, it’s all about the first step. From there, you will learn to trust your child more and trust their judgment of what they will do when they are out of your sight.

            For Year 6s, the teachers will be more vigilant since they are too young to let out of their sight, they will be supervised at all times.

            And like the user above said, you should ask the teacher about any questions you have to ease your conscience a little.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post

              wa alaykum salam

              Why don't you try calling the principal of the school and get details on their trip. You can also explain to him/her your situation and get an idea on how they accommodate the children, and then take it from there?
              We had parents evening today, I asked her teacher for more information about the trip and she said she will give me full details and information this week. The reason I posted this question on the forum is to get some information from other muslim brothers and sisters who already have experience about residential trips.
              Last edited by somayaa; 07-11-18, 12:11 AM.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post
                if its a non muslim school i wouldnt
                you dont know what boundaries they will keep or not

                if its a muslim school as long as its female staff with her and supervised then yes
                It is a catholic school, that is why I said no because I wasnt sure of thier boundries.
                The staff accompanying them are all ladies.
                The only thing is if I dont let my daughter on trip, it will really affect her. She has always been a sensitive child and seeing everyone go on trip except her will make her feel the odd one out.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by somayaa View Post

                  It is a catholic school, that is why I said no because I wasnt sure of thier boundries.
                  The staff accompanying them are all ladies.
                  The only thing is if I dont let my daughter on trip, it will really affect her. She has always been a sensitive child and seeing everyone go on trip except her will make her feel the odd one out.
                  she will get over it
                  it will take some time but she will
                  maybe take her on a trip your self
                  it may cheer her up

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Abu julaybeeb View Post

                    she will get over it
                    it will take some time but she will
                    maybe take her on a trip your self
                    it may cheer her up
                    The trip is in June 2019 but we have to make a decision now and pay some deposit. Her teacher said that everyday when they are talking about the trip in the class my daughter gets upset and her face goes red because she cant go and that broke my heart, I cant see her upset and worried all the time. Like this her whole year would be affected. It is so hard to be a parent

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                    • #11
                      u think this is hard
                      wait till teenage years
                      when there's drugs fornication alcohol people questioning other peoples faith

                      this is nothing
                      shel get over it when they stop talking about it
                      just take her somewhere even better
                      maybe go abroad get her doing some fun activities

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by AmantuBillahi
                        It's only a 2 days trip; it's not the end of the world. I'm sure she will be fine, but the real question is how have you raised her thus far?
                        Does she wear Hijaab? Does she know Halaal from Haram? Have you educated her in matters of Deen?
                        ---
                        It's a Catholic school, not an Islamic one. So really, all eyes are on you and your parenting skills. You can't expect things to be perfect when you mix yourself with the Kuffar.
                        My daughter is a lovely girl Alhamdulillah and I fully trust her but I dont trust other people. I asked this question in this forum to get some information from the people who already has experience.
                        what do you meaning by mixing myself with kuffar?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Wa alaykum salaam sis,

                          What's your stance on traveling without a mahram and without necessity at that? From an Islamic standpoint I'm not entirely conformable with it, moreso without Muslim supervision. Furthermore I wouldn't even let a son go so it's not a gender concern alone.

                          We are told in hadeeth that Islam came as something strange and will leave as something strange, so give glad tidings to the strangers. Your role as a parent isn't always to give your child what they want but to teach them to be strong in the face of peer pressure. To be clear in their identity and values, to cherish them above their friends opinions. It only just begins here sis. What if later your daughter sees all her friends are going to a party, will she be strong enough to say no? Don't underestimate shaytan. He begins with the harmless things and builds up.

                          ​​​​​​​Are you cultivating this strength or also falling prey to peer pressure? Also, as a last thought ... I do think you should take her on a trip too and give positive alternatives rather than a simple no. Allahu alem. Parenting is hard.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by somayaa View Post
                            I asked this question in this forum to get some information from the people who already has experience..
                            inshaAllah you will find the advice you're looking for.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Nusaiba View Post
                              Wa alaykum salaam sis,

                              What's your stance on traveling without a mahram and without necessity at that? From an Islamic standpoint I'm not entirely conformable with it, moreso without Muslim supervision. Furthermore I wouldn't even let a son go so it's not a gender concern alone.

                              We are told in hadeeth that Islam came as something strange and will leave as something strange, so give glad tidings to the strangers. Your role as a parent isn't always to give your child what they want but to teach them to be strong in the face of peer pressure. To be clear in their identity and values, to cherish them above their friends opinions. It only just begins here sis. What if later your daughter sees all her friends are going to a party, will she be strong enough to say no? Don't underestimate shaytan. He begins with the harmless things and builds up.

                              ​​​​​​​Are you cultivating this strength or also falling prey to peer pressure? Also, as a last thought ... I do think you should take her on a trip too and give positive alternatives rather than a simple no. Allahu alem. Parenting is hard.

                              I havent already let her to so many birthday parties, because I dont find it comfortable to let my child to anyone's house whether muslim or nonmuslim although all the class went to the parties including the muslim girls. This one is a bit different because it is the school organising it and I already let my child and trust them for 6 hours each day to school but worried about overnight as she has never been away from me.

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