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  • #46
    Originally posted by AbuNajm View Post

    If you read the context of this quote, Ibn Taymiyyah is talking about something completely different. In fact, he concludes that a person who has known evil and repented is better than his former self and that such people are even more ardent in preventing evil and fighting Jihad against its people.

    Also, the terms "urwah" and its plural "uraa" do not mean "foundations". That is clear distortion of the meaning. The terms mean "loops" or "links" and can mean "ties". And the term "Nashaa'" does not mean "arise" in this context, it means "grow up".

    A person who has grown up knowing only Ma'ruf will not know anything else. This means that a person grew up in a completely good society in which the Shari'ah of Islam was predominant and no open evil was committed. So, such a person will not have knowledge of the Munkar and its harm. Whereas a person who grew up in a society that did not know Islam or the Shari'ah and was full of open sin, when he converts to Islam and makes Hijrah, will come to know the sweetness of obedience and the Shari'ah as implemented in society and he will hate the harm and evil of a society given to disobedience and a lack of Shari'ah. Thus, the person who only knows good will not wage Jihad against the people of Munkar like the one who knows them and hates their evil. Ibn Taymiyyah says that this is why the Companions, Allah be pleased with them, were the strongest in Faith and fighting Jihad.

    The "naivety" being talked about here no longer exists since there isn't a community in which the Shari'ah is being fully implemented and evil fully prevented. Rather, all the societies of the earth today, except a few isolated tribes in wildernesses and jungles, know more about evil than they do the Shari'ah of Islam.

    Given the above, knowing evil and growing up in Jahiliyyah, is only good IF such a person repents and coverts to Islam becoming one of its seekers of knowledge and Mujahideen. The quote of Ibn Taymiyyah is not about intentionally seeking out and practicing Munkar in order to not be "naive". The person discussed is someone who did not choose to be born in a society that did not receive or accept the message of Islam. And after receiving the message of Islam they were the foremost in fighting Jihad against Kufr and its people.

    Jazak Allahu Khayran for the clarification Ustaadh Abu Najm.


    ---


    Brother, what are your thoughts concerning 'inexperienced naivety' in our modern context as Western Muslims?

    How can we educate our children about the opposite gender in a Halal and sufficient manner?

    Is there any way for brothers and sisters to interact with each other in Halal setting? What if the brother doesn't have any female siblings or cousins, then what?

    Do you see any problem with males remaining naive concerning the intricacies of females until they reach the age of 30?

    Thank you

    Last edited by AmantuBillahi; 29-10-18, 07:46 PM. Reason: Spacing

    Comment


    • #47
      Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post
      Brother, what are your thoughts concerning 'inexperienced naivety' in our modern context as Western Muslims?
      The most harm in this comes from not being sufficiently wary of the various traps and enticements of Kufr and Shirk in the West. When exposure to Kufr and Shirk are imminent, many scholars implement a principle in the Deen called "Sadd adh-Dhari'ah" or "blocking the means".

      Instead of working more to "block the means" of evil within Muslim communities in the West, leaders and preachers have been working to facilitate the means to evil. The few who are involved in establishing the principle of Sadd adh-Dhari'ah are accused of radicalism and extremism due to their prohibition of not just what is forbidden according to the texts, but also the means to what is forbidden among the new avenues and pathways to it.

      You've probably witnessed this yourself- when a preacher has grown up in a non-Muslim environment, elements of that creep into his Da'wah, public speeches and behavior. It's a sign of "awareness" or keeping up with the times. Often it is portrayed as being in touch with the youth or keeping abreast of matters which are "relevant".

      "Experience" in the West means having lived a life of full-exposure to western society and its ills. This exposure may wear off with time, a long time, however it leaves its indelible impression. The most worrisome part of this "experience" is not that a person has lived it, but the result that occurs when it is not tempered with a full commitment to Islamic knowledge. Most of the Muslim preachers and leaders in western countries are people who have had partial commitments to Islamic knowledge accompanied by lifetime commitments to professions/trades and secular studies. They are de-incentivized to deal with the means to forbidden matters as that would signify a necessity for self-condemnation.

      There is no person who has made a full commitment to Islamic knowledge that suffers from "inexperienced naivety" with regards to matters of significance to the community or himself. This is because Islamic knowledge and its pathway are also peripherally illuminating in nature, whereas secular studies only shed light in a linear manner. So, when Allah grants knowledge to a person, they also become intuitively intelligent and perspicacious in any given matter. That's not to say that they know everything, however with a small amount of information or news of any given event, they are capable of seeing directly through to the foundation and root of a matter, making deductions and achieving insight beyond that of a bonafide student of the matter.

      As Muslims in the West, we are over-stimulated and over-exposed as individuals embedded in societies that place a premium on all the wrong types of "experience" and information. Everything is all about movement and consumption. More and more that movement and consumption is virtual or momentary and people still confuse that for "experience".

      Just look at the state of "Islamic education" in the West. At best, many so-called "Islamic" schools spend around 45 minutes a day on Arabic & Islam with the rest spent on secular studies. Those 45 minutes are intended to provide a student with everything they should know by the time they are 18 years old or graduate high school. The same goes for so-called Islamic universities. People graduate from these 4-year universities with degrees in Islamic studies and they don't know anything about the Islamic sciences or even how to understand the Arabic language.

      This is because western lives are based on consumption and experiencing moments. Family, work and secular studies are designed to occupy 100% of a person's time. Whereas seeking Islamic knowledge is a lifetime activity which requires that a person sacrifice from their family life and work schedule. However, this new western-style of seeking Islamic knowledge is turning it into a profession and making it more like secular studies.

      Those who buy into the western version Islam and seeking Islamic knowledge are the truly "inexperienced, naive" individuals. The Muslims who still pursue Islamic knowledge in a traditional way, understanding it to be a life-long exercise, are the ones who maintain a healthy perspective towards and wariness of whatever they are exposed to of western culture and society.

      Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post
      How can we educate our children about the opposite gender in a Halal and sufficient manner?
      Muslims never required "sex education" for children or young adults. Part of the excitement and magic of the opposite gender is the mystery and novelty of it, especially upon the first encounters. That is meant to be preserved for marriage. Couples are meant to grow up and grow old together with the help of their elders and community. The interaction of the mother and father, aunts and uncles, and grandparents are the only school necessary for children to know how married couples should interact. As for the rest, it is something that comes naturally and is more a part of an individual's personality than something that should be taught or explained.

      Educate a child in the Quran, Sunnah, Islamic sciences and Islamic manners and they will grow to be men and women who serve their families and societies well. Fail to educate them in those areas and no amount of education about or experience with the opposite gender will help them.

      Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post
      Is there any way for brothers and sisters to interact with each other in Halal setting? What if the brother doesn't have any female siblings or cousins, then what?
      In no way does a male's relationship with his female siblings or cousins serve as relevant experience or information for how to deal with his future spouse. Children behave very differently than young adults and adults. There is no way to model behavior in this manner. A man must rely on his Walee to choose a suitable spouse for him, while verifying for himself that his potential wife is sufficiently attractive for him. After marriage is when a man gets to know his wife- her likes and dislikes, temperament and character, personality and quirks. He may discover that most women are similar in some things, but that the woman he has married is also very unique and special in her own way.

      The similarities among the opposite gender are no more familiar nor the unique qualities of an individual among them made any more endearing by trying to "learn" about them beforehand.

      Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post
      Do you see any problem with males remaining naive concerning the intricacies of females until they reach the age of 30?

      Thank you
      It is my experience that a young person considering him/herself "knowledgeable" when it comes to the opposite gender is itself a "naive" proposition. With regards to what's important, a person will learn about how to interact with a spouse through their relatives and elders. Whatever is not learned as a young person will just mean a larger learning curve as an adult in a marriage. As for the "intricacies", then that is a part of "nature" and is going to differ between individuals regardless. There's no science behind it. It's trial and error once married anyway.

      Comment


      • #48
        JazakumAllahu Khayran brother, quite the beneficial response.


        Originally posted by AbuNajm View Post

        There is no person who has made a full commitment to Islamic knowledge that suffers from "inexperienced naivety" with regards to matters of significance to the community or himself. This is because Islamic knowledge and its pathway are also peripherally illuminating in nature, whereas secular studies only shed light in a linear manner. So, when Allah grants knowledge to a person, they also become intuitively intelligent and perspicacious in any given matter. That's not to say that they know everything, however with a small amount of information or news of any given event, they are capable of seeing directly through to the foundation and root of a matter, making deductions and achieving insight beyond that of a bonafide student of the matter.

        Right on. That's really inspiring to hear and I'm with you brother, however, as you've mentioned in your post, this would only apply to those who have made a full commitment to Islamic knowledge.

        How do we address the ordinary Muslims though? As you know, the average "religious Muslim" of today is a Masjid attending Hafidh--and that's it. Even if they did attend an Islamic school, surely that would not meet "full time commitment", and thus they would fall into the category being targeted within this thread.

        Originally posted by AbuNajm View Post

        Muslims never required "sex education" for children or young adults. Part of the excitement and magic of the opposite gender is the mystery and novelty of it, especially upon the first encounters. That is meant to be preserved for marriage. Couples are meant to grow up and grow old together with the help of their elders and community. The interaction of the mother and father, aunts and uncles, and grandparents are the only school necessary for children to know how married couples should interact. As for the rest, it is something that comes naturally and is more a part of an individual's personality than something that should be taught or explained.

        Educate a child in the Quran, Sunnah, Islamic sciences and Islamic manners and they will grow to be men and women who serve their families and societies well. Fail to educate them in those areas and no amount of education about or experience with the opposite gender will help them.


        .....


        It is my experience that a young person considering him/herself "knowledgeable" when it comes to the opposite gender is itself a "naive" proposition. With regards to what's important, a person will learn about how to interact with a spouse through their relatives and elders. Whatever is not learned as a young person will just mean a larger learning curve as an adult in a marriage. As for the "intricacies", then that is a part of "nature" and is going to differ between individuals regardless. There's no science behind it. It's trial and error once married anyway.
        The only contention I have with what you're saying is that the average woman in this day and age has a completely different mentality and standard to the ideal you have maintained. The women of today appreciate, admire and have encountered men who are experienced and knowledgeable about how they work (both physically and emotionally). Women globally--including the average Muslimah--appreciate men who are experienced and on point, as oppose to men who are naive and inaccurate concerning them.

        Therefore, I feel as though in this modern Western context, it is very beneficial for us to equip Muslim men with knowledge that would benefit them and give them an "edge". In the absence of this, and in the absence of attaining an equally inexperienced and "naive" wife, is the recipe of an unsatisfied wife and marital disaster.


        ---


        Brother, whether you or not you find these objections satisfactory, may you please address the following:

        "Is there any way for brothers and sisters to interact with each other in a Halaal setting?"

        In other words, is there a Halaal way for brothers and sisters to discuss delicate gender related issues as a collective group? Take this website for example, we have laypeople discussing marriage and gender related issues. Outside of this, is there anything else available to us as Muslims? Could we potentially start a group of some sort in a Masjid-type setting where the correct Islamic precautions are met, or is this something uniquely plausible through online means?

        Thank you

        Last edited by AmantuBillahi; 30-10-18, 12:57 AM. Reason: Necessary

        Comment


        • #49
          Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post
          JazakumAllahu Khayran brother, quite the beneficial response.
          Wa Anta fa-Jazakum Allahu khayran

          Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post
          Right on. That's really inspiring to hear and I'm with you brother, however, as you've mentioned in your post, this would only apply to those who have made a full commitment to Islamic knowledge.

          How do we address the ordinary Muslims though? As you know, the average "religious Muslim" of today is a Masjid attending Hafidh--and that's it. Even if they did attend an Islamic school, surely that would not meet "full time commitment", and thus they would fall into the category being targeted within this thread.
          The problem is certainly NOT addressed by "ordinary" Muslims pursuing something other than that which rectifies the affairs of "uncommon" Muslims.

          Pursuing Islamic knowledge, fighting Jihad, being patient in Ribaat, and dedicating oneself to those pursuits are the only solutions to every problem a Muslim encounters. The proportion in which a Muslim pursues Islamic knowledge and engages in Jihad/Ribaat is the proportion in which their other affairs are rectified, both for individuals and communities.

          I'm not going to depart from the recommendations of the Salaf on this point. They never recommended "more business", "more love for your spouse", "more education in worldly matters", or "more education about the opposite gender" to solve the problems facing the Ummah. Those who went for Jihad/Ribat were engaged in the "monasticism" of the Muslim Ummah and those who remained behind pursued instruction in the Deen- those were the Believers.

          If you're concerned about Muslims who are not "Believers", then what can we say about their condition? They move from drama to drama in their lives, pursuing trade, secular studies, pleasing their families- all to the exclusion of studying the Deen or evening giving a single thought to fighting Jihad/Ribat. How can their problems ever be solved when they never set their sights on higher paths in life?

          If knowing the nature and mind of the opposite gender is a challenge, then even harder still is bending one's will to it, despite knowing it. No amount of "study" or interaction with the opposite gender outside of marriage can prepare a person for the amount of self-control and discipline required for that. However, studying Islamic sciences and preparing for Jihad/Ribaat instills sufficient discipline to confront all of life's difficulties, mental, physical and spiritual.

          A young woman cannot teach a young man how to behave towards her, no more than a young man can teach a young woman how to behave towards him. The inherent immaturity in young people and their lack of knowledge regarding themselves prevents meaningful exchange and true empathy. The bonds of marriage, the commitment of cohabitation and the unification of tribes through marriage are the glue that holds together two individuals while they are getting to know themselves, each other and their place within their tribes and the larger community of Muslims.

          Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post
          The only contention I have with what you're saying is that the average woman in this day and age has a completely different mentality and standard to the ideal you have maintained. The women of today appreciate, admire and have encountered men who are experienced and knowledgeable about how they work (both physically and emotionally). Women globally--including the average Muslimah--appreciate men who are experienced and on point, as oppose to men who are naive and inaccurate concerning them.
          The context is "Muslims in the West". The average Muslim woman in the west is no better off than the average Muslim man. "Admiration" and "appreciation" of Muslim men are definitely not common denominators among Muslim women in western countries. I don't know what your experience is in this area or how much you've been exposed to the general Muslim female public, however this is not the case.

          This is not a matter of personal/subjective experience.

          Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post
          Therefore, I feel as though in this modern Western context, it is very beneficial for us to equip Muslim men with knowledge that would benefit them and give them an "edge". In the absence of this, and in the absence of attaining an equally inexperienced and "naive" wife, is the recipe of an unsatisfied wife and marital disaster.
          Be direct- what "knowledge" are you saying Muslim men need to be equipped with? Is there some information about women that exists which is being taught to men that ensures the success of their marriage? Where are these lessons being taught?

          Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post
          Brother, whether you or not you find these objections satisfactory, may you please address the following:

          "Is there any way for brothers and sisters to interact with each other in a Halaal setting?"
          No. Not really.

          Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post
          In other words, is there a Halaal way for brothers and sisters to discuss delicate gender related issues as a collective group?
          No. Nor is it needed.

          Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post
          Take this website for example, we have laypeople discussing marriage and gender related issues.
          Most of it is terribly misinformed and results in needless exchanges.

          Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post
          Outside of this, is there anything else available to us as Muslims? Could we potentially start a group of some sort in a Masjid-type setting where the correct Islamic precautions are met, or is this something uniquely plausible through online means? Thank you
          It's simply not needed. There's ZERO evidence that such a thing would even minutely improve a person's marital success.

          Comment


          • #50
            Originally posted by AbuNajm View Post
            I'm not going to depart from the recommendations of the Salaf on this point. They never recommended "more business", "more love for your spouse", "more education in worldly matters", or "more education about the opposite gender" to solve the problems facing the Ummah. Those who went for Jihad/Ribat were engaged in the "monasticism" of the Muslim Ummah and those who remained behind pursued instruction in the Deen- those were the Believers.

            If you're concerned about Muslims who are not "Believers", then what can we say about their condition? They move from drama to drama in their lives, pursuing trade, secular studies, pleasing their families- all to the exclusion of studying the Deen or evening giving a single thought to fighting Jihad/Ribat. How can their problems ever be solved when they never set their sights on higher paths in life?
            The overwhelming majority of Muslims living today are laypeople, which would render them into this doomed camp of not "Believers". Although I'm inspired by your logic to a great extent, I'm not all the way sold on dismissing the condition of 98% of this Ummah.

            I'm not implying that there's a full-proof path other than seeking Ilm and being rightly guided, but my goal here is to minimize our discrepancies from a practical standpoint.

            Originally posted by AbuNajm View Post
            If knowing the nature and mind of the opposite gender is a challenge, then even harder still is bending one's will to it, despite knowing it. No amount of "study" or interaction with the opposite gender outside of marriage can prepare a person for the amount of self-control and discipline required for that. However, studying Islamic sciences and preparing for Jihad/Ribaat instills sufficient discipline to confront all of life's difficulties, mental, physical and spiritual.

            A young woman cannot teach a young man how to behave towards her, no more than a young man can teach a young woman how to behave towards him. The inherent immaturity in young people and their lack of knowledge regarding themselves prevents meaningful exchange and true empathy. The bonds of marriage, the commitment of cohabitation and the unification of tribes through marriage are the glue that holds together two individuals while they are getting to know themselves, each other and their place within their tribes and the larger community of Muslims.
            I agree, it's almost impossible to get a grip on how the opposite gender operates, women especially, outside of having an intimate relationship between "spouses".

            However, in our modern context as laypeople, some interaction is better than no interaction. Being deprived of both Islamic studies and gender interaction is absolute naivety of the opposite gender. Again, unless you find a match who's equally inexperienced and naive, such would be the recipe for an unsatisfied wife and future marital problems.

            Originally posted by AbuNajm View Post
            The context is "Muslims in the West". The average Muslim woman in the west is no better off than the average Muslim man. "Admiration" and "appreciation" of Muslim men are definitely not common denominators among Muslim women in western countries. I don't know what your experience is in this area or how much you've been exposed to the general Muslim female public, however this is not the case
            May you elaborate on this point? I don't understand what you mean.

            Originally posted by AbuNajm View Post
            Be direct- what "knowledge" are you saying Muslim men need to be equipped with? Is there some information about women that exists which is being taught to men that ensures the success of their marriage? Where are these lessons being taught?
            In post #19 I use the following example:

            Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post
            Example A:

            Let's say you have an individual who wasn't religious at all or was mildly religious. This person got fully involved in the Dunya; he's committed fornication; had multiple relationships with women; mixed with the disbelievers; used intoxicants; and engaged with everything the world has to offer.

            Person A has accumulated knowledge and wisdom through his experience. Call it street smarts or whatever. He knows the intricacies of every aspect of life.

            Example B:

            This person is raised in the ideal sense; his family is religious; his second home is the Masjid; memorizes the Qur'an; went to gender separate Islamic school; and never spoke with a non-Mahram woman after balagha.

            Person B is only aware of what he's accumulated through his sheltered Islamic experience.

            If Person A accepts Islam he will attain the blessings of Person B, but will also bring with him the knowledge and wisdom accumulated through the years of engagment with what Person B has no knowledge of. Person B has heard of the things Person A has done, but is innocent or naive of what those things actually are.

            It's not really the drugs or the alcohol that I'm talking about. It's moreso the interacting with the opposite gender, mixing with the Kuffar, and enjoy the Kaafir lifestyle (life without restrictions)
            Basically, what I'm trying to say is that with experience comes knowledge and wisdom. Let's say a brother enters this discussion who has been married to 10 different women and currently has 4 wives. Logically speaking, this brother should have more knowledge and wisdom concerning women. He'll know how to please them, how to handle them, how to speak with them, what turns them on/off etc. He knows their quirks.

            Although it is true that women are all unique and far more complex than men in general -- if you've experienced 10 or more of them, it is as if you've experienced all of them. There's a limitation to their complexities.

            Hence, the question I've been trying to ask is whether or not is possible to pass this information on to Muslim men, or is that something only acquired through experience? I'm aware that the answer is glaringly obvious. Of course it is not possible to pass on the wisdom of 10 marriages to someone who has never experienced intimacy. However, considering the mental and spiritual state of the men and women of our Ummah, I feel as though bridging the gap and removing the naivety to any extent is an excellent task and a source of success.

            Wa Allahu A'lam

            ---

            Excuse me if I've missed anything. I wrote this this message in quite the rush and I won't be home until later on in the evening.

            JazakAllahu Khayr

            Comment


            • #51
              Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post
              The overwhelming majority of Muslims living today are laypeople, which would render them into this doomed camp of not "Believers". Although I'm inspired by your logic to a great extent, I'm not all the way sold on dismissing the condition of 98% of this Ummah.
              I'm not selling the idea to dismiss Muslims. I'm just not personally going to share in their self-generated drama.

              Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post
              I'm not implying that there's a full-proof path other than seeking Ilm and being rightly guided, but my goal here is to minimize our discrepancies from a practical standpoint.
              "Discrepancies" - a euphemism if I've ever heard one.

              Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post
              I agree, it's almost impossible to get a grip on how the opposite gender operates, women especially, outside of having an intimate relationship between "spouses". However, in our modern context as laypeople, some interaction is better than no interaction. Being deprived of both Islamic studies and gender interaction is absolute naivety of the opposite gender. Again, unless you find a match who's equally inexperienced and naive, such would be the recipe for an unsatisfied wife and future marital problems.
              You have yet to provide any evidence that pre-marital, non-Mahram exposure to the opposite gender has any positive effect on the probability of marital success.

              In fact, statistics would say that you are wrong in your assumption that it does.

              Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post
              May you elaborate on this point? I don't understand what you mean.
              You claimed that most Muslim women "admire" and "appreciate" Muslim men of knowledge and "experience". I am wondering where you got this from because it is not my experience nor is it recognized as a trend among Muslim women in the West.

              Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post
              In post #19 I use the following example:
              Your examples are representative of "naivety" regarding perceived "benefits" in being a Faasiq and perceived "disadvantages" to being a "Muhsin". It seems this is based on an incorrect understanding of the Athar of Umar bin al-Khattab regarding the rope of Islam being unraveled loop by loop by the lack of Muslims growing up in Jahiliyyah.

              What you are proposing is for people to contravene the laws of Islam by exposing youth of opposite genders in a group setting before marriage to discuss gender-specific issues.

              What the Athar is saying is that young people who have involuntarily grown up in a non-Muslim setting who then go on to convert to Islam will be even more opposed to evil and sin than Muslims who never knew it.

              Comment


              • #52

                Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post
                Basically, what I'm trying to say is that with experience comes knowledge and wisdom. Let's say a brother enters this discussion who has been married to 10 different women and currently has 4 wives. Logically speaking, this brother should have more knowledge and wisdom concerning women. He'll know how to please them, how to handle them, how to speak with them, what turns them on/off etc. He knows their quirks.
                So, let that brother come forward and impart his "knowledge" in the Brother's Only section of the forum. There's nothing preventing that from happening now.

                However, I would venture a guess that such a brother would not be the best adviser or marriage counselor for Muslims in the West as his experience is more suited for plural marriages and not monogamous ones.

                Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post
                Although it is true that women are all unique and far more complex than men in general -- if you've experienced 10 or more of them, it is as if you've experienced all of them. There's a limitation to their complexities.
                Ajeeb. I'm just going to leave it at that. You clearly don't know what you're talking about when it comes to this aspect of the subject.

                Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post
                Hence, the question I've been trying to ask is whether or not is possible to pass this information on to Muslim men, or is that something only acquired through experience? I'm aware that the answer is glaringly obvious. Of course it is not possible to pass on the wisdom of 10 marriages to someone who has never experienced intimacy. However, considering the mental and spiritual state of the men and women of our Ummah, I feel as though bridging the gap and removing the naivety to any extent is an excellent task and a source of success.
                You're comparing apples to oranges when discussing the experience of a plural marriage with a monogamous one.

                Also, the "mental" and "spiritual" states of men and women in the Ummah are currently in two groups- those traumatized by world events and those oblivious to them. Muslims in the West tend to be of the second group. They have far more problems with their Imaan and practice of Islam than in any other area and this effects every aspect of their lives. That is what is harming Muslim marriages most- not "naivety" of the opposite gender.

                I will just leave this conversation with the above information.

                Comment


                • #53
                  Originally posted by AbuNajm View Post
                  I will just leave this conversation with the above information.

                  JazakAllahu Khayran brother. I've found this exchange to be very beneficial and inspiring.

                  May Allah grant us the ability to raise students of knowledge and scholars--ameen.



                  Comment


                  • #54
                    Yasir Qadhi - What Women Need to Know About Men:

                    https://youtu.be/Jf6B4xk3kcI


                    Yasir Qadhi - What Men Need to Know About Women:

                    https://youtu.be/VR395_rb8pc

                    Comment


                    • #55
                      Experience doesnt imply person A is better than person B. It will vary from person to person.

                      if person A was a porn addict or a zani, then such addictions might relapse because all those pornographic inages are in his memory. And they could be triggered by anything and the person must fight thise impulses.
                      Everybody is tested and makes mistakes and the room for taubah is open till the very end.

                      Comment


                      • #56
                        Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post
                        Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu

                        I'm curious as to how to one can raise pious Muslim children with excellent social skills, knowledge of the opposite gender, and all-around wisdom, without them being involved in anything haram in order for them to attain such knowledge and skillsets.

                        There's a tradition from Umar ibn al-Khattab(ra) that I remember hearing in Yasir Qadhi's(H) lecture series, where he said, and I'm paraphrasing, "The Muslim who experienced Jahiliyyah is more useful than he who hasn't."

                        It's logical aswell. Someone who hasn't experienced the Haraam doesn't have the wisdom that the other has accumulated through his/her experience.


                        Two questions:

                        1) How can we raise pious, masjid attending children that arn't naive of the opposite gender or the real world? Is it simply left for their fathers and mothers to teach them or is there another way?

                        2) Why is it that Muslim sisters seem to be more "aware" than the brothers? Is my experience merely subjective or does everyone else notice it aswell?

                        Thank you.
                        You can start by not listening to deviants like Yasir Qadhi
                        http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

                        "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

                        – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

                        Comment


                        • #57
                          Originally posted by Saif-Uddin View Post

                          You can start by not listening to deviants like Yasir Qadhi
                          lol
                          brother saif-uddin i see you are still going strong on Ummah
                          *~* Learn Patience from Aasiyah (RA); Loyalty from Khadhija (RA); Sincerity from Aisha (RA) and Steadfastness from Fatima (RA).*~*

                          Comment


                          • #58
                            Originally posted by Zesty View Post

                            lol
                            brother saif-uddin i see you are still going strong on Ummah
                            السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته ukthi

                            ​​​​​​Not sure if your aware ukthi but Yasir Qadhi was the one who claimed to be a Proud Patriotic Shariah Practicing American Muslim,

                            Facepalm

                            He was also the one who mocked yhe Ulema and claimed Umar radiallahu anhu would fail an Aqeedah test.

                            نعوذ بالله من ذلك

                            جزاك الله خيرا
                            http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

                            "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

                            – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

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                            • #59
                              engrain the children with knowledge of tawheed
                              always keep them in an islamic environment
                              good muslim friends, role models and sunnah/ halal hobbies
                              make the quran something if they dont read once a day they cant sleep

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                              • #60
                                (American Muslims and their patriotism. :| )
                                LAA ILAAHA ILLALLAH
                                -------------------------------
                                "And if you would count the graces of God, never could you be able to count them. Truly, God is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (Qur'aan 16:18)
                                NOTE: Please kindly do NOT rep my posts. (Jazaa'akumullah).

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