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Raising Children to be God-conscious, righteous Muslims: Your Tips & Suggestions

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    Raising Children to be God-conscious, righteous Muslims: Your Tips & Suggestions

    Bismillaahhir-Rahmaanir-Raheem.

    Assalamu alaikum warahmatullah.

    Alhamdulillah, there are quite a few parents here and others who have maybe worked with children... While none of us are of course perfect, and certain things will work while others won't, this is a request you to very kindly:

    Share with us the things you found particularly helpful or are finding helpful (by the kindness of Allah Ta'aalaa) in the tarbiyah of your children.

    What habits, what activities, what approaches, what things would you recommend others try to adopt in helping shape their children to have the love, awarenesses and obedience to Allah Ta'aalaa as they grow into teenagers and adults inshaaAllah?

    Jazaa'akumullah khayr.


    (Yes, I am unmarried and a male, but I'm finding myself having to spend a lot of time currently with a couple of children, both of whom are, alhamdulillah, very sweet kids, and both of whom I love very much... I do want to make this time very positive for them. It looks like I might be quite a significant part of their lives for a while yet, so your suggestions are really very much appreciated.)
    Last edited by Fakhri; 15-12-17, 11:36 PM.
    LAA ILAAHA ILLALLAH
    -------------------------------
    "And if you would count the graces of God, never could you be able to count them. Truly, God is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (Qur'aan 16:18)
    NOTE: Please kindly do NOT rep my posts. (Jazaa'akumullah).

    #2
    Im in your position as well but from my experience with baby cousins young children and so on. Its important they get that tarbiya straight away. When your a child what ever you do that will have a big impact on your life. So its important we implement islam in their life from young. Read to them stories of the prophets. Teach them arabic. Teach them the culture of islam so when they get older they know the culture they have to stick to. Make them pray with you do wudhoo with you read quran with you even if they cant them them trying and imitating will make a difference. The best people of islam( after the sahaba they were exception) were most of the time people raised by pious muslims. Ibn abbas , imam shafi'i ,imam ahmed, ibn taymiyaa, salaahudeen

    Teach them islam in practical and easy manners that will be easy to remember so oby the time they are teenagwrs they will be flicking through the books of scholars

    important to teach them arabic now while they are young so they can understand the Quran and become hafidh at young. At the same time making sure they implement ehat they learn even if its removing a branch off the road or saying jazakAllah khair or wearing a toppi or hijab even though they dont need to. Naturallg if their parents do it them will as well as they want to be like their parents

    its vital they go islamic school and not secular schools that will indoctrinate them as well but thats a big topic in itself.

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by Fakhri View Post
      Bismillaahhir-Rahmaanir-Raheem.

      Assalamu alaikum warahmatullah.

      Alhamdulillah, there are quite a few parents here and others who have maybe worked with children... While none of us are of course perfect, and certain things will work while others won't, this is a request you to very kindly:

      Share with us the things you found particularly helpful or are finding helpful (by the kindness of Allah Ta'aalaa) in the tarbiyah of your children.

      What habits, what activities, what approaches, what things would you recommend others try to adopt in helping shape their children to have the love, awarenesses and obedience to Allah Ta'aalaa as they grow into teenagers and adults inshaaAllah?

      Jazaa'akumullah khayr.


      (Yes, I am unmarried and a male, but I'm finding myself having to spend a lot of time currently with a couple of children, both of whom are, alhamdulillah, very sweet kids, and both of whom I love very much... I do want to make this time very positive for them. It looks like I might be quite a significant part of their lives for a while yet, so your suggestions are really very much appreciated.)
      :wswrwb:

      Not a parent myself,but just my thoughts on the matter.
      (perhaps my experience as an uncle)

      First in my opinion we can categorise these children in different stages.
      And throughout the different stages, their different behaviours, intellectual capablity etc.
      From there, you will be able to match accordingly to your method by creativity.

      In general, start early. Their environment and influence around them is important.
      The important thing is ourselves are what we want to see in our children.
      They will then mimick or follow our actions (although not necessarily the case, but there are studies in this i believe)
      I think biologically also plays a part. (a part, not fully) so who we are when we have the children matters.

      Sometimes perhaps we tend to use the methods to us imposed by our parents.
      (maybe), and its a cultural thing too perhaps. And this is passed on generation by generation.
      So this is where we need to review those again and see whether its necessary/practical for the future generation.
      be ready to drop unhealthy ways to raise children.

      An islamic environment is of upmost importance. (quran audio, congregation jamaah prayers etc)
      As mentioned in my other thread, I have heard of the saying, that the first madrasah is the one at home. (that's where tarbiyyah starts)

      A balanced approach would be ideal, as oppose to only hands on.
      That's what I believe.

      Like volunteering to go join muslim societies and help out in mosques events.
      Going for Umrah really as a family is like on one of the top lists imo. Its a package.
      Bonds the family together in the right setting.

      Read hadiths to them, make them interested to listen. And when there is available time can try talking them about Islam( like a question and answer session between you and the kids)

      InshaAllah


      Comment


        #4
        (jazaa'akumallah khayr, br Abu Julaybeeb and br Muslim Thinker. Alhamdulillah. All important points mentioned by you both, I think. Thank you)
        LAA ILAAHA ILLALLAH
        -------------------------------
        "And if you would count the graces of God, never could you be able to count them. Truly, God is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (Qur'aan 16:18)
        NOTE: Please kindly do NOT rep my posts. (Jazaa'akumullah).

        Comment


          #5
          Where I work we implement Islamic lessons all the time. Every morning the kids in each grade read Quran together and we are now leaning all the names of Allah, 2 every week. They also have to recite hadiths every morning. The thing is that going to an Islamic school doesn't mean that you will have religious kids unless the parents follow up on the things that they learn at school. Some people, especially where I work, think that they send their kids to school so other people can raise them on these types of things. There fine in kg and primary school but the second they are in grade 6 or 7 or so, most of them completely fly off the rails because no one made sure that they were constantly being reminded of Islam.

          I would just say, constantly remind them and constantly teach them new things. But take it slow so they are not overwhelmed. And start at a young age.

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by aelmo View Post
            Where I work we implement Islamic lessons all the time. Every morning the kids in each grade read Quran together and we are now leaning all the names of Allah, 2 every week. They also have to recite hadiths every morning. The thing is that going to an Islamic school doesn't mean that you will have religious kids unless the parents follow up on the things that they learn at school. Some people, especially where I work, think that they send their kids to school so other people can raise them on these types of things. There fine in kg and primary school but the second they are in grade 6 or 7 or so, most of them completely fly off the rails because no one made sure that they were constantly being reminded of Islam.

            I would just say, constantly remind them and constantly teach them new things. But take it slow so they are not overwhelmed. And start at a young age.
            I agree with this, i really felt the larger madrasa is at home.
            Best is both, full time madrasa (islamic curiculum) plus islamic parenting the kid will become to be excellent inshaAllah

            Comment


              #7
              Enjoin the good and Forbid them the Evil,

              Explain to them in basic terms why something is Evil, Good.

              Encourage them to learn small dua, like when your about to sleep, wake up, going to toilet etc.

              Teach them Wudu, to conceal their Awrah, Hijaab etc.

              Teach them smaller Surahs and how to pray Salaah and it's importance.

              Basic Haraam and Halaal, gender segregation.

              Good manners.

              http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

              "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

              – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

              Comment


                #8
                most important is to be the best examples u possibly can for/to them

                you cant be a hypocrite & just put on an act in front of them & then do as u please if the kids are not watching.
                your words/advice wont have an effect if you are not sincere
                Sufyaan Thawri "Whoever is very popular with his relations and neighbours, we suspect him to be compromising in preaching the true teachings of religion."
                very good site for English bayaans in MP3 format-check it out- u wont be disappointed: http://www.musjidnoor.za.net/index.html & http://alhaadi.org.za/majlis-program...downloads.html

                Comment


                  #9
                  My advice would be to raise your kids far from the west. Trust me, it's better to be childless than race your children in the West. They will become completely lost and will have no traces of their religion, cultural or identity

                  The west is good for education but raising your child is very risky.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I think most important thing is teaching them tawheed

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Jazaa'akumullah khayr. Alhamdulillah. A lot of points made here that are really important... I think, personally, one of the points that really stands out is what br msmoorad mentioned above; the need for ourselves to teach through embodying the things we teach them. Our examples have to be good, which is not always an easy thing of course.

                      I didn't really intend on giving my own thoughts on this, but having read the posts, a few things came to mind. Again, as a non-parent it doesn't seem right to be commenting on this this way, but just a few thoughts...


                      Children becoming disaffected...
                      There are things you'd think, that we really ought to be doing just as a bare minimum, things similar to those mention by br Saifuddin above.

                      I think we see many Muslim parents doing these things, alhamdulillah, but we still have our youth growing up with the sense that Islam is mostly about following rules and having restrictions imposed on them... I'm sure we know personally, cases of religious parents who have children that end up somewhat pushed away from the Deen.


                      Temperament...
                      ​​​​​That's something (the above point) you would assume can be affected positively by how stern we are (or are not in this case) in imparting Deen, or how stern we our in ourselves... if we ourselves are people who very rarely smile, or laugh, or do things that also make our children realise that Islam doesn't necessitate harshness and being miserable, stern, etc, the perfect example being of course, Rasoolullah (s.a.w) himself despite the mountainous responsibility he was charged with and what he knew and even saw of the realities that await beyond this life.

                      Examples...
                      Ultimately of course, it's in the hands of Allah Ta'aalaa whether children grow up as we want them to.
                      ​​​​​
                      Sometimes, though, you also hear of brilliant examples where parents, whether it's the mother or father, engage in activities that help engender something more... Things that will last with them, things that show them practically, the goodness and beauty of this Deen... Things that help instill a greater awareness in them of Allah Ta'aalaa Himself, and especially an awareness of His Rahmah, and consequently, a sense of love for Allah Ta'aalaa.

                      These things I guess come back to the mother and father themselves...

                      Even on this forum here, I remember a sister gave the example of a father taking his young son with him when he would hand out food to the homeless...

                      Or something that might seem unimportant like an example which was shared of taking a child to feed animals, birds, etc with the child knowing this is being done in connection with the Compassion of Allah Ta'aalaa, of God, of our Creator for His creatures...


                      ------------------
                      (https://youtu.be/0QCF--EPHio

                      Subhanallah.^ The thread reminded me of the short video (7m) above, especially the example given of Sayyiduna Ibn Abbas (RA) and Imam Tastari (RA). )
                      ​​​​​


                      LAA ILAAHA ILLALLAH
                      -------------------------------
                      "And if you would count the graces of God, never could you be able to count them. Truly, God is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (Qur'aan 16:18)
                      NOTE: Please kindly do NOT rep my posts. (Jazaa'akumullah).

                      Comment


                        #12
                        The biggest thing I've learnt about children to date is that they also have a lot of pressures to learn and do correct things. Children don't learn what you tell them, they learn what you do and who you are. So be warm, loving and a safe pair of ears for them then they will relax in your company, learn from you and you will be significant to them.

                        I learnt this from some really great aunties and a grandmother, Alhamdulillah.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Yes

                          Really hard, one of my niece's isn't keen on salah so I tell her to join me but she's just not into it :/

                          I listen to what she wants, like today she wanted to play with make up and put make up on me so I agreed (it was super torture) I got impatient and told her to hurry up and she has ten minutes left lol

                          It was so hard to stay calm, I was about to flip but I hanged on because she is the first in the family and she has been spoiled and when her mum isn't around I feel more cautious because I don't want my niece to think to herself aunty made her cry or upset, you know?

                          I don't like to upset her but she's a girly girl, not interested in prayer
                          'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                          So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by Uchiha21 View Post
                            My advice would be to raise your kids far from the west. Trust me, it's better to be childless than race your children in the West. They will become completely lost and will have no traces of their religion, cultural or identity

                            The west is good for education but raising your child is very risky.
                            salaams to all

                            not true at all

                            i personally know ppl who are among the best muslims ive EVER seen & they are born & raised in the west
                            and then theres absolute rubbish who were born & raised in muslim countries.

                            and these are NOT rare examples- theres many like this

                            it DOES NOT MATTER where you are- what matters is how you were raised & the company you keep.
                            also- many parents are not concerned about their income being pure- this has an effect on their spirituality & imaan.
                            the entire family will find it difficult to obey Allah ta'ala

                            if YOU want to be a good muslim, you can do it anywhere.

                            and Allah ta'ala knws best
                            jazakallah
                            Sufyaan Thawri "Whoever is very popular with his relations and neighbours, we suspect him to be compromising in preaching the true teachings of religion."
                            very good site for English bayaans in MP3 format-check it out- u wont be disappointed: http://www.musjidnoor.za.net/index.html & http://alhaadi.org.za/majlis-program...downloads.html

                            Comment

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