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  • friendship between women and men

    who thinks that mixing between men and women is forbidden in islam???
    who thinks that being present(women) when there's guys is a sin even if they r covered??
    give me arguments about it plz. a "surah" from "alquran alkarem" that shows that. a hadith for our prophet mohammad(pbuh) or for the sahaba...
    i'm a muslim girl i love god and i apply my islamic homeworks. but i have many guys friends. and we treat each other regarding to the islamic point of vue.
    so u consider that as a sin?????????
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  • #2
    Re: friendship between women and men

    its haraam
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    • #3
      Re: friendship between women and men

      haram..
      Sehadeth is a message to all generations and ages.... Sheheed Metin Yuksel....

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      • #4
        Re: friendship between women and men

        it's haram and enough???? tell me why it's haram? our religion is a 'yusur' religion not '3usr'. also that idea destroy the progression of our ummah ..
        so we must stay at home coz work and university r full of men.
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        • #5
          Re: friendship between women and men

          so u want to be alone with me, astaghfirullah, next u will say women should enter ms lebanon, peace and love, I don't want to be your friend or be
          alone with u, u r my sister in Islam, your beauty, nor your voice impresses me, save your friendship for your husband to be.
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          • #6
            Re: friendship between women and men

            Originally posted by peace+love
            it's haram and enough???? tell me why it's haram? our religion is a 'yusur' religion not '3usr'. also that idea destroy the progression of our ummah ..
            so we must stay at home coz work and university r full of men.
            The ways bring people haram is haram too... What do you do with your "friens"? Gigling, joking ect.. All those are haram.. In my personal opinion Muslim women's place is home for growing children... If there are hijab problem ect in universities, they do not need to go to Universities by openin their heads... The obligations of men and women to follow is clear.. Eachside does their works and Islam sciety is established like that...
            Sehadeth is a message to all generations and ages.... Sheheed Metin Yuksel....

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            • #7
              Re: friendship between women and men

              Allah says in Surah al-Nur:
              “Say to the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their modesty. That is purer for them, and Allah is aware of what they do. And say to the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their modesty.” [24:30-31]


              Similarly Allah says in Surah al-Ahzab:
              “When you ask them [i.e. the wives of the Prophet (Allah bless him & give him peace)] for anything then ask from behind a screen (hijab). This is a means for greater purity for your hearts and their hearts.” [33:53]

              Imam Abu Abd Allah al-Qurtubi (Allah have mercy on him) writes in his famous exegesis of Qur'an, al-Jami` li Ahkam al-Qur'an:
              “This verse indicates the permissibility to ask and converse with the wives of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) from behind a screen or a curtain. All Muslim women would be bound by the same guidance. [Qurtubi, al-Jami` li Ahkam al-Qur’an, 14:227].


              Also in Surah al-Ahzab, Allah says:
              “O wives of the prophet! You are not like other women, if you are god-fearing. So do not be soft in speech. Lest in whose heart is disease should be moved with desire.”

              This verse clearly indicates that men and women should not talk unnecessarily and when they do so, the both the content and manner of conversation must be appropriate, and free of anything inciting.


              The Guidance of the Beloved of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace)
              The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) dealt with the issue of male-female relations at length:


              1) Imam Abu Dawud and Imam an-Nasai relate from Aisha (rdn) that she says: “A women extended her hand from behind a curtain to hand a piece of paper to the Prophet (saw). The Messenger of Allah pulled his hands back and said: “I don't know if this is a mans hand or a women's hand.” Aisha said that it was a women's hand.
              This Hadith is clear that the companions of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) used to observe separation (hijab) in a way that there use to be a curtain or a veil between the sexes. If free mixing was acceptable, then there was no need for this. Besides, if such separation was against the spirit of the Sharia, the Messenger of Allah would have certainly pointed it out to her.


              2) Imam al-Bukhari and Imam Muslim narrate in their Sahih from Uqba ibn Amir (rdn) that the Messenger of Allah said: “Do not go near [non-Mahram] women.” A person inquired: “What about in-laws?” The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) responded, “The in-laws are death.”
              The Prophet of Allah (saw) compared male in-laws to death. This means that one should be even more careful with in-laws with regards to interaction as there is greater risk for fitna, especially given the comfortable, social atmosphere in which both parties may lower their guard and forget lowering their gazes.


              3) Imam Muslim narrates from Jarir ibn Abdullah (rdn) who says: ”Iasked Allah's Messenger about the sudden glance on a Non - Mahram. He commanded me that I should turn away my eyes.


              4) Buraida reported that the Messenger of Allah said to Ali (rdn): “O Ali! don't allow your glance to follow a glance, because the first [glance] is forgiven and not the second. [Narrated by Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud and Imam Ahmad].
              The above mentioned [and other] verses of the Qur'an and sayings of the Prophet (saw) indicate the importance of observing the proper limits of gender interaction.


              The following are the rules deduced from the Qur'an and Sunnah regarding the social behavior of men and women, as outlined by the scholars:
              a) Both men and women should dress properly and modestly, such that their nakedness (awra) is covered with loose clothing that does not define the shape of the limbs below. This, of course, includes women being in proper hijab, both avoiding tight-fitting clothing;
              b) Men and women who are not immediately related should not talk to each other unnecessarily. When there is a genuine need (such as work or education) to talk, the conversation should be in a modest, restrained manner, and be limited to the extent of the need;
              c) It is from the guidance of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) that women cannot wear fragrances that might catch the attention of strange men;
              d) Both men and women should lower their gazes. It is disliked to look at someone young of the opposite sex even without the fear of desire; when one even fears desire, it is impermissible to look;
              e) Particular care must be given to one’s interaction with in-laws, relatives, and others one is likely to have sustained contact with, such as co-workers.


              In the light of the above, we can see that the free intermingling of both the sexes is not allowed. Islam enjoins on both men and women to cast down their looks in presence of each other. How is it possible for men and women to meet freely in dinners, tea parties and other social events with looks cast down?. There is not a single instance in the history of early Islam of men and women being allowed to meet each other freely in any social, political or religious gathering. Even in the Masjid men and women had their separate rows at the time of prayers. The Hadith considers the free mixing with in-laws as death, as there is a greater risk of Fitna.
              In one narration, listening to the voice of a woman with lust has been termed as adultery. The scholars have debated whether the voice of a women is Awrah, although according to the Hanafi Madhab it is not considered awrah, but it shows the importance of keeping away from free mixing. If a young woman says Salam to a Non-Mahram, he should reply within himself and not let the woman hear his reply.


              It is thus clear that Islam insist on the segregation of sexes to the utmost extent compatible with individual and collective self-preservation. Its pattern of society is one in which men and women do not intermingle too freely. If intermixture becomes necessary at any time, then too much freedom must be avoided and all the rules and conditions must be observed.


              In conclusion, mixed gatherings are not permissible. Men and women must sit apart from each other. If they sit apart and there is no free mixing [as was also mentioned in the Question] then it will be permissible. May Allah guide us to the straight path. Ameen

              Allah Almighty said, "Do not come near fornication, for it is indeed lewdness and an evil life-style." (Al-Isra': 32). The key words here being, "Do not come near", meaning the avenues that lead to fornication i.e. free-mixing personal friendships with the opposite gender.

              And Allah knows best.
              Shaykh Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari (sunnipath)
              Last edited by Nawar; 04-05-06, 11:05 PM.

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              • #8
                Re: friendship between women and men

                i didn't say i want to be alone with u ...for god's sake i'm muslima and i wear a hijab...but i'm saying exactly that i'm ur sister in islam so if i'm with any guy in front all allllllllllllllll human beings(in univ, in restaurent) what is haram in this??
                we r not doing anything wrong
                i thought about entering ms lebanon(and they begged me) when i was without hijab but becoz of the bikini's i refused too and i choose god and now i'm wearing the hijab ...
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                • #9
                  Re: friendship between women and men

                  Originally posted by EbuZerr
                  The ways bring people haram is haram too... What do you do with your "friens"? Gigling, joking ect.. All those are haram.. In my personal opinion Muslim women's place is home for growing children... If there are hijab problem ect in universities, they do not need to go to Universities by openin their heads... The obligations of men and women to follow is clear.. Eachside does their works and Islam sciety is established like that...
                  if they went to the univ covered with hijab and they had some guys friends classmates i mean ...rather than staying alone they sit and talka with respect and without braking the islamic rools in front of everybody.
                  is that haram??
                  so how guys do u get married then? how do u work if there's women there?
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                  • #10
                    Re: friendship between women and men

                    Originally posted by peace+love
                    i didn't say i want to be alone with u ...for god's sake i'm muslima and i wear a hijab...but i'm saying exactly that i'm ur sister in islam so if i'm with any guy in front all allllllllllllllll human beings(in univ, in restaurent) what is haram in this??
                    we r not doing anything wrong
                    i thought about entering ms lebanon(and they begged me) when i was without hijab but becoz of the bikini's i refused too and i choose god and now i'm wearing the hijab ...
                    erm..is she kidding?

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                    • #11
                      Re: friendship between women and men

                      can we pls finish this conversation and try close this thread, what your doing peace and love is kind of evil, u know men r easily aroused, yet u choose to make friendships with guys, their is no friendship with unrelated men in Islam, sister, and yes bcos your my sister in Islam, I don't want to see your body, be alone with u, or be your friend, If we were Married, u can be my friend then, yes u can study in university, but u can't make friends with guys, especially being a canditate for ms lebanon.
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                      • #12
                        Re: friendship between women and men

                        Originally posted by peace+love
                        who thinks that mixing between men and women is forbidden in islam???
                        who thinks that being present(women) when there's guys is a sin even if they r covered??
                        give me arguments about it plz. a "surah" from "alquran alkarem" that shows that. a hadith for our prophet mohammad(pbuh) or for the sahaba...
                        i'm a muslim girl i love god and i apply my islamic homeworks. but i have many guys friends. and we treat each other regarding to the islamic point of vue.
                        so u consider that as a sin?????????
                        girl..who u kidding?
                        ure a muslim...islam is ure faith and how dyu run?\by the shariah of course..so put al the what dyu think business on the side..and refer to the positivism..rather than finding something to support ure argument.
                        no offence taken i hope..

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                        • #13
                          Re: friendship between women and men

                          Originally posted by Nawar
                          Allah says in Surah al-Nur:
                          ]


                          Similarly Allah says in Surah al-Ahzab:


                          Imam Abu Abd Allah al-Qurtubi (Allah have mercy on him) writes in his famous exegesis of Qur'an, al-Jami` li Ahkam al-Qur'anal-JamiAlso in Surah al-Ahzab, Allah says:

                          The Prophet of Allah (saw) compared male in-laws to death. This means that one should be even more careful with in-laws with regards to interaction as there is greater risk for fitna, especially given the comfortable, social atmosphere in which both parties may lower their guard and forget lowering their gazes.


                          3)


                          4) .
                          The above mentioned [and other] verses of the Qur'an and sayings of the Prophet (saw) indicate the importance of observing the proper limits of gender interaction.


                          The following are the rules deduced from the Qur'an and Sunnah regarding the social behavior of men and women, as outlined by the scholars:Allah Almighty said, "Do not come near fornication, for it is indeed lewdness and an evil life-style." (Al-Isra': 32). The key words here being, "Do not come near", meaning the avenues that lead to fornication i.e. free-mixing personal friendships with the opposite gender.

                          And Allah knows best.
                          Shaykh Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari (sunnipath)
                          so if women wears a hijab and talk properly with modesty and without braking our islamic rools then it's not haram to talk with men.
                          if what i've understood from ur post right then that' the same point i'm talking about..
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                          • #14
                            Re: friendship between women and men

                            Originally posted by puella
                            erm..is she kidding?
                            nop girl
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                            • #15
                              Re: friendship between women and men

                              Originally posted by peace+love
                              if they went to the univ covered with hijab and they had some guys friends classmates i mean ...rather than staying alone they sit and talka with respect and without braking the islamic rools in front of everybody.
                              is that haram??
                              so how guys do u get married then? how do u work if there's women there?
                              listen huny, u are not thr first to go to uni and neither will u be the last inshaAllah. when i went to university in the not so distance past, i would refrain from talking to any of the non muslim men unless it was to do with group wrk....for me that worked, i got the work done and everone was happy. once the group work was over, that was it!

                              The brothers were a whole, entire different matter. i would definately not go out of my way to speak with them, and the same was with them. they respected me for that and I, them. however when we did speak it was very much to the point, but with the understanding that we are there to help each other with notes etc...never would u catch a brother sitting with a sister in public having lunch unless they were brother and sister or they were man and wife. it just was not done. the precedent was easily set, and maintained easily.

                              that in no way means you cannot help each other out when it comes to non study related topics..alhamdulilah, the same brothers helped me and my fam move house.

                              and who says you cannot get married because you do not have 'guy friends?'....did the daughters of the Prophet have male friends? (astaghfirullah)...i think we have eased ourselves into the western way of thinking.....i was at University because of my A level results not because of my oestrogen levels!!

                              And then if you do wish to consider a brother from university for marraige, then there are ways and means. but , khayr, that is another topic for another thread.
                              Last edited by puella; 04-05-06, 11:20 PM.

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