Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Confused

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    Re: Confused

    if you really like him then you should wait..

    unless there are serious serious signs that tell you otherwise..
    - Inna Ma'iya Rabbi Sayah Deen -

    Comment


    • #17
      Re: Confused

      Salam,
      Here we go again... a wedding!!! It is sooo important to have a wedding... with tons of food, gold, a belly dancer, etc. so she can bragg to her girlfriends about it. "Let's wait to spend $20.000 or more on a wedding, what if he divorce her after a week, maybe he just wants to get to the states". I've heard this kind of stories before. Love is not about the talk but about the actions. Go and marry the guy, if you love him, apply for a d*** fiance visa, if you love him, and bring him to the blessed american soil. Wake up sis!
      Please Re-update your Signature

      Comment


      • #18
        Re: Confused

        Originally posted by embryodoc
        Salam,
        Here we go again... a wedding!!! It is sooo important to have a wedding... with tons of food, gold, a belly dancer, etc. so she can bragg to her girlfriends about it. "Let's wait to spend $20.000 or more on a wedding, what if he divorce her after a week, maybe he just wants to get to the states". I've heard this kind of stories before. Love is not about the talk but about the actions. Go and marry the guy, if you love him, apply for a d*** fiance visa, if you love him, and bring him to the blessed american soil. Wake up sis!
        looks like you are talking from experience :(
        Please Re-update your Signature

        Comment


        • #19
          Re: Confused

          Originally posted by namesake
          As-salaam-walakum
          I met this guy through my brother a year ago for a rishta. We both really liked eachother and brought our parents and family into the mix. Our families met about 9 months ago and my parents approve of him and vice versa. However, for the last 9 months he is having visa issues and has been unable to dicuss marriage with my folks. My parents say when he gets a visa is when they will dicuss marriage. We both truly love eachother deeply however, this visa issue is not being resolved. I performed Istikhara last night and will continue to do so until Allah guides me in the correct path. A few of my friends told me that if it was ment to work it would have already, but others say that if you love eachother that good things take time. I'm really confused as to what my next step should be...should I continue waiting for him, or move on?
          do you know why he is having problems obtaining a visa?

          someone mentioned here that he might be mainly interested in obtaining a USA citizenship and then probably divorce you. it does happen.

          after marriage where do you plan to live? in USA or in the country where he is from?

          what i suggest is you ask him that if he doesn't get a visa to get married and live in USA how does he feel if you move to his country and live there? that might give you an idea of what he is really interested in. to move to usa or to marry you and be with you wherever that may be. then again he may feel coming to usa he is able to support u better than where he is from

          sadly i have come across cases when a guy from back home convinces a girl he truly loves her etc. once they get married and he obtains a visa he moves here. in most cases the sister works so he often lives of her earnings and sent some back home, and not trying hard to find a job. once he gets his nationality he just disappears leaving her with debt, bills, kids and in one case homeless where he sold her house behind her back. that's another story

          i pray that it is true love between you two and inshallah it comes to all those who waits etc etc
          Please Re-update your Signature

          Comment


          • #20
            Re: Confused

            Wait for him:) Listen your feelings and what your heart says follow it.:) The worst would be don't live your dream and always to wonder what husband would have been for you:embar:
            :) t. l. poetry corner
            So I stay in my chair, staring into the fire,
            Thinking of where are you at this hour :scratch:

            Comment


            • #21
              Re: Confused

              No no, he lives in Canada and he is having issues, because he was born in one of the black listed countries...he has family there and relatives and I have no problem moving there, that is not the issue at all.
              Please Re-update your Signature

              Comment


              • #22
                Re: Confused

                Dear Wazza, it's an observation, as I said, I've herad and I saw that, do you think I would do the same if it's not islamic practice? I do not like it, but this is a reality. There are different ways to make people to see the truth. The nice, convincing way, does not work for Confused. What do you mean sit and wait and be patient? She can pray Istihara as much as she want but without actions how will it work? She has to pray and do something and be happy with the outcome. This is the meaning of Al Istihara prayer. Does she even know how to pray it correctly? What's why I said what I said. She has to wake up. Confused worries about the wedding more then him. Does it tell you something? So, stop patronising her. Do you want to hear the real story about love? About a girl from a non muslim country who fall in love with a muslim man, reverted to Islam, started to pray, covered herself, and after she won a GreenCard said that she will never leaveto the states without her husband and did everything so they can go together? They are together for 10 yrs now and she is only 29 yrs old. She did not ask for an apartment, furniture, a car, kilograms of gold, white dress, a wedding for 300 people. There was a trip to the mosque and $100 dawry. Do you see the difference?Wazza, it's not me.
                Please Re-update your Signature

                Comment


                • #23
                  Re: Confused

                  I think embryodoc is misunderstanding me. He is juding me. For us its not about the fancy wedding or to show off what money we have or dont have. But if he cannot come on this country how is he supposed to meet the family, my brothers.
                  Please Re-update your Signature

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Re: Confused

                    Salam dear Namesake,
                    If you were sincere in your intentions you would have posted the whole story in you first thread. Every time you give us some new pieces of information... So, now it's about your brothers.... You are really confused, sis.
                    Let me give you an answer to your last 2 replies.
                    1. About he muslim sis which I told you about earlier:her husband was born in Saudi to the Palestinian father and Syrian mother, he was raised in Syria and had no citizenship, just a travel document as a Palestinian refugee. Imagine them going to the American embassy together... That sis could have lost her Green Card opportunity, but Allah (SWT) is Rahman and Rahim, they did it.
                    2. Is it hard for your family to go to Canada to meet the prospective family. Come on sis...
                    The truth is your parents are against this marriage, that's why they dont do anything. You are depending on your parents, so, swallow it up and move on.
                    Sit and wait for your knight in the shining armor which your parents will, eventually, bring to you. You will be upset at first, remembering your first love, if your second one is better then the previous one , you will get use to it, if not, will get depressed, take Prozac, and enjoy your misery. If you have guts, will get a divorce, curse all man, calm down, move out of parents house, get a job and start using an internet Islamic marriage websites...looking for your knight in the shining armor.
                    WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!
                    Dear Wazza, these are combined stories of my patients. If we have the brain, shouldn't we learn from the others?
                    Please Re-update your Signature

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Re: Confused

                      Thanks for that great non depressing advice...
                      Please Re-update your Signature

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Re: Confused

                        You are welcome! As I said, welcome to the reality.
                        Do you need a non depressing one? Get your family together tonight, talk to them that you want to get married, go all together to Canada, get married Islamically only, leave there for some time, if everything is OK, get him a fiance visa, come to the States, go to the City, apply for a Green Card for him ( and citizenship later) and be happy untill death do you apart.
                        Do you want me to tell you what do you really want? You want him to come to you and do everything to get you because he is the man, he is supposed to do that, right? So, sit and wait. Isn't depressing already?
                        Please Re-update your Signature

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Re: Confused

                          Originally posted by embryodoc
                          Dear Wazza, it's an observation, as I said, I've herad and I saw that, do you think I would do the same if it's not islamic practice? I do not like it, but this is a reality. There are different ways to make people to see the truth. The nice, convincing way, does not work for Confused. What do you mean sit and wait and be patient? She can pray Istihara as much as she want but without actions how will it work? She has to pray and do something and be happy with the outcome. This is the meaning of Al Istihara prayer. Does she even know how to pray it correctly? What's why I said what I said. She has to wake up. Confused worries about the wedding more then him. Does it tell you something? So, stop patronising her. Do you want to hear the real story about love? About a girl from a non muslim country who fall in love with a muslim man, reverted to Islam, started to pray, covered herself, and after she won a GreenCard said that she will never leaveto the states without her husband and did everything so they can go together? They are together for 10 yrs now and she is only 29 yrs old. She did not ask for an apartment, furniture, a car, kilograms of gold, white dress, a wedding for 300 people. There was a trip to the mosque and $100 dawry. Do you see the difference?Wazza, it's not me.
                          it's wise to make one aware of bad things in life and pray they will not encounter it
                          Please Re-update your Signature

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Re: Confused

                            May Allah (SWT) make it easy on sis Namesake and let her see the right path. Ameen.
                            Please Re-update your Signature

                            Comment

                            Working...
                            X