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  • Confused

    As-salaam-walakum
    I met this guy through my brother a year ago for a rishta. We both really liked eachother and brought our parents and family into the mix. Our families met about 9 months ago and my parents approve of him and vice versa. However, for the last 9 months he is having visa issues and has been unable to dicuss marriage with my folks. My parents say when he gets a visa is when they will dicuss marriage. We both truly love eachother deeply however, this visa issue is not being resolved. I performed Istikhara last night and will continue to do so until Allah guides me in the correct path. A few of my friends told me that if it was ment to work it would have already, but others say that if you love eachother that good things take time. I'm really confused as to what my next step should be...should I continue waiting for him, or move on?
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  • #2
    Re: Confused

    Originally posted by namesake
    As-salaam-walakum
    I met this guy through my brother a year ago for a rishta. We both really liked eachother and brought our parents and family into the mix. Our families met about 9 months ago and my parents approve of him and vice versa. However, for the last 9 months he is having visa issues and has been unable to dicuss marriage with my folks. My parents say when he gets a visa is when they will dicuss marriage. We both truly love eachother deeply however, this visa issue is not being resolved. I performed Istikhara last night and will continue to do so until Allah guides me in the correct path. A few of my friends told me that if it was ment to work it would have already, but others say that if you love eachother that good things take time. I'm really confused as to what my next step should be...should I continue waiting for him, or move on?
    you should marry an american muslim

    If you are truely in love you will consider going to marry him in his country. True love knows no bounds as they say.

    You could get a job teaching English or something along those lines.
    Last edited by Kaizen; 20-03-06, 06:09 PM.
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    • #3
      Re: Confused

      Originally posted by Kaizen
      you should marry an american muslim
      :S okkk
      sister - as u mentioned, istikhara is the best , because altho there are factors saying go for it and others saying dont, u want Allah to be close to u , u want Allahs help , and Allah is happy when his servant turns to him. Allah knows best what the future holds , in the istikhara u pray ,you ask allah to give it to you if its good for your deen and livelihood then grant it to u and if its not then u ask allah for it to be taken away , and to be given somethings better. Also good things come to those who wait , Allah said in the quran that jannah are for those who are patient and thankful. be patient and remember allah, dont forget all the other things allah has given to u meanwhile (be thankful).
      keep on making dua and Allah will guide u inshallah.
      just to end with
      ''Man can have nothing but what he strives for'' 53:39
      Fi Amaanillah (May Allah be with u) :love:
      Abu Huraira (ra) narrated that the messenger of Allah (saw) said 'Beware of suspicion, for suspicion is the worst of false tales; and do not look at the faults of others, and do not indulge in spying on one another..do not be jealous of one another and do not hate one another, O Allah's worshippers! Be brothers' (Sahih Bukhari)

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      • #4
        Re: Confused

        A few of my friends told me that if it was ment to work it would have already,
        Who are they to say how long you should wait before you give up...

        Perhaps they should have said if it's ment to work out then InshaAllah ta'ala it will work out,But perhaps Allah ta'ala is just testing you...
        Perhaps It is ment to be but just not at this time...And you have to strive for that which you want...
        Continue to make dua...If you want it...Ask Allah ta'ala to guide you to that which would please Him...And to guide you to Marry someone whom together your love for Allah ta'ala would be greater than if you weren't married to that person...Ask Allah ta'la that If being Married to this person would benefit you and through doing so help you to become a better muslim and become closer to Allah ta'ala then Ask Allah ta'ala to guide you to that...Truelly Allah ta'ala is All seeing All knowing and He sees into the hearts of men that which we do not see...
        So Allah ta'ala is the best to judge a situation and whether a person is right for you...So put your trust in Allah azawajal and trust His decision as His decision will be far greater than yours...

        May Allah ta'ala make things easy for you...And if it's not Qadr then InshaAllah ta'ala,may Allah make it easy for you and give you something better...
        Our Brothers and Sisters need our help. Do what you can to help them!!
        Inna Ma Al-Usri Yusra :::::
        "Verily, with every difficulty, there is relief".(94.6)

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        • #5
          Re: Confused

          lol...Muslim_sis...Seem to be following you...
          Didn't realise you were viewing this thread...
          Our Brothers and Sisters need our help. Do what you can to help them!!
          Inna Ma Al-Usri Yusra :::::
          "Verily, with every difficulty, there is relief".(94.6)

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          • #6
            Re: Confused

            also about being patient...

            Surah 2 Ayat 153
            O ye who believe! seek help with patient perseverance and prayer; for God is with those who patiently persevere.

            Make dua and then trust Allah ta'ala...whom better is there to put your trust in...
            Our Brothers and Sisters need our help. Do what you can to help them!!
            Inna Ma Al-Usri Yusra :::::
            "Verily, with every difficulty, there is relief".(94.6)

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            • #7
              Re: Confused

              Originally posted by Ar-Raya
              lol...Muslim_sis...Seem to be following you...
              Didn't realise you were viewing this thread...
              lol ,we're following the way of the prophet ... the prophet encouraged patience (and the other things we mentioned), so as an advise u gave it and so did i. alhamdulilah :)
              Abu Huraira (ra) narrated that the messenger of Allah (saw) said 'Beware of suspicion, for suspicion is the worst of false tales; and do not look at the faults of others, and do not indulge in spying on one another..do not be jealous of one another and do not hate one another, O Allah's worshippers! Be brothers' (Sahih Bukhari)

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              • #8
                Re: Confused

                Originally posted by Ar-Raya
                also about being patient...

                Surah 2 Ayat 153
                O ye who believe! seek help with patient perseverance and prayer; for God is with those who patiently persevere.

                Make dua and then trust Allah ta'ala...whom better is there to put your trust in...
                yep have trust in Allah ... while ur fighting to be patient , know that it is in the hands of Allah , just as everything else, and know that allah is most powerful (he says IT IS and it BE), anything can change by the will of Allah , so make dua. Allahu akbar !
                Abu Huraira (ra) narrated that the messenger of Allah (saw) said 'Beware of suspicion, for suspicion is the worst of false tales; and do not look at the faults of others, and do not indulge in spying on one another..do not be jealous of one another and do not hate one another, O Allah's worshippers! Be brothers' (Sahih Bukhari)

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                • #9
                  Re: Confused

                  Alhamdulillah sis Istikharah was the best thing to do. But if he is the process of getting his visa, then waiting shouldn't be too hard should it?
                  "Islam began as something strange and will return as it was, so give glad tidings to the strangers."
                  "Don't ever argue with an idiot....
                  they'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience."

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                  • #10
                    Re: Confused

                    yeah,MashAllah you beat me to giving the advise
                    although I said almost the same as what you said ...*smiles*...

                    InshaAllah the advise helps ukhti namesake
                    Our Brothers and Sisters need our help. Do what you can to help them!!
                    Inna Ma Al-Usri Yusra :::::
                    "Verily, with every difficulty, there is relief".(94.6)

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                    • #11
                      Re: Confused

                      Originally posted by Mujaheedah
                      Alhamdulillah sis Istikharah was the best thing to do. But if he is the process of getting his visa, then waiting shouldn't be too hard should it?
                      so why is it so out of the way for you to go to where he is living to marry him?
                      maybe i am missing something here

                      If you truely love him why is it so out of the question to move to where he lives and be with him. You have been there previously and i assume it's an islamic country so what's the problem. Your love is deep and unquestionable so what's the deal.

                      He's willing to up and move and can't because of US visa problems but it there anything prohibiting you from moving to see him?
                      Last edited by Kaizen; 20-03-06, 06:31 PM.
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                      • #12
                        Re: Confused

                        Originally posted by Ar-Raya
                        also about being patient...

                        Surah 2 Ayat 153
                        O ye who believe! seek help with patient perseverance and prayer; for God is with those who patiently persevere.

                        Make dua and then trust Allah ta'ala...whom better is there to put your trust in...
                        :salams

                        Subhan'Allah a beautiful Ayah :inlove:

                        Ameen to all the Du'as! ..

                        Insha'Allah I agree with Muslim_Sis, Istikharah is the best, as after one has carried out his responsibility as best as one can, one should hand over the entire matter and oneself to the limitless knowledge of Allah(swt).

                        By resorting to Istikharah you are now relieved of making a decision on your own. Only that will happen which Allah(swt) wills and which is good for ones own sake though one may not be able to see it immediately. It is not necessary that you must experience or see an evident change or vision. Allah (swt) alone knows what is best for us.

                        It is also related in the Hadith that "Success and good tidings for the son of Adam (Insan) is in performing Istikharah and his misfortune lies in not making Istikharah." {Sahih Bukhari}

                        I have read loads on Istikharah Alhamdulillah, and Insha'Allah Allah(swt) will indeed guide you! May Allah(swt) guide and assist us all Ameen! :inlove:

                        :wswrwb:
                        :love:"And whosoever is conscious of Allah, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Indeed Allah has sent a measure for all things." (Quran: 65/2-3)

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                        • #13
                          Re: Confused

                          Originally posted by janathi
                          :salams

                          It is also related in the Hadith that "Success and good tidings for the son of Adam (Insan) is in performing Istikharah and his misfortune lies in not making Istikharah." {Sahih Bukhari}

                          I have read loads on Istikharah Alhamdulillah, and Insha'Allah Allah(swt) will indeed guide you! May Allah(swt) guide and assist us all Ameen! :inlove:

                          :wswrwb:
                          AMEEN...subhanallah @ the hadeeth :love:
                          Abu Huraira (ra) narrated that the messenger of Allah (saw) said 'Beware of suspicion, for suspicion is the worst of false tales; and do not look at the faults of others, and do not indulge in spying on one another..do not be jealous of one another and do not hate one another, O Allah's worshippers! Be brothers' (Sahih Bukhari)

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                          • #14
                            Re: Confused

                            THats not the point of moving there or not, the point is if he cannont come to the US, how is the wedding gonna take place?
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                            • #15
                              Re: Confused

                              Originally posted by namesake
                              THats not the point of moving there or not, the point is if he cannont come to the US, how is the wedding gonna take place?
                              i think wat kaizen meant is that , why dont u go down there to him, instead of him coming up to the US
                              Abu Huraira (ra) narrated that the messenger of Allah (saw) said 'Beware of suspicion, for suspicion is the worst of false tales; and do not look at the faults of others, and do not indulge in spying on one another..do not be jealous of one another and do not hate one another, O Allah's worshippers! Be brothers' (Sahih Bukhari)

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