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  • I have met a Muslim woman...

    Hello,

    I'm glad I have found this board because I am not sure what to do. I have met a Muslim woman, but I am not Muslim. I am from Norway, where she was born. Her mother and father immigrated to Norway many years ago, but they have both died. Her father past away recently.

    I like her very much, and I know she likes me as well. We are both lonely, since neither of us have any family left, but she refuses to go out on a date in any form. About the only thing she will do is visit me and have a cup of coffee in my apartment.

    So my question is: If I don't convert to Islam, what kind of relationship can I have with her? What would be acceptable, if anything?
    Please Re-update your Signature

  • #2
    Re: I have met a Muslim woman...

    Originally posted by M.H.
    Hello,

    I'm glad I have found this board because I am not sure what to do. I have met a Muslim woman, but I am not Muslim. I am from Norway, where she was born. Her mother and father immigrated to Norway many years ago, but they have both died. Her father past away recently.

    I like her very much, and I know she likes me as well. We are both lonely, since neither of us have any family left, but she refuses to go out on a date in any form. About the only thing she will do is visit me and have a cup of coffee in my apartment.

    So my question is: If I don't convert to Islam, what kind of relationship can I have with her? What would be acceptable, if anything?

    if u dont convert to islam....im afraid to say that you cannot have any relationship with her.

    what would be acceptable? if u accept islam..there will be no problems. you will be able to marry her and live together. but warning in advance if u do accept islam, make sure ure sincerity is there.its not fair on the girl thinking that ure accepting islam properly when in reality u are not. be loyal to her. trust me ...accept islam...allproblems solved...n hopefully there will more virtues n blessings n peace in ure life.:)
    The great Imam ash-Shafi, he went to his teacher Waki`
    Complaining about the weakness of his memory.
    He told him, abandon rebellion, for knowledge is a light
    And the light of Allah is not bestowed upon a rebel.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: I have met a Muslim woman...

      Dear M.H,

      I don't know about Norway, but I would think 2 people who have mutual feeling have a cup of coffee, would very much be best described as a date.

      My advice to you, stay away from her. I doubt you'll do that so instead research about Islam, and ask for her contribution.

      Kind regards
      Please Re-update your Signature

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: I have met a Muslim woman...

        :salams

        My friend and brother... Islam is a way of life and a beautiful way of life.. If you do convert, like Bint said do it sincerly. You shall become free, maybe not physically but in your heart and Islam will bring content to your heart and mind.

        First research on Islam and find how to convert... Admit under no compulsion that there is only one God, there is no associates to God and Muhammed (pbuh) is the messenger of God. That is your first step my friend. I am simply saying your first step which is to believe that what I have said above... am sure the other brothers and sisters shall give you more detail on what to do Inshallah.

        Jazakallah Khayran
        :lailah:
        [url]www.myspace.com/questonline[/url]

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: I have met a Muslim woman...

          hi M.H. and peace to you

          welcome to this forum

          in Islam it is forbidden for a muslim woman to marry a non muslim for many reasons. most importantly, when it comes to having children the children are to be raised muslim. most women end up following what their husbands want

          also in Islam, women are not to sit alone with potential husbands, any man that she can marry she is suppose to cover in front of and not be alone

          ask her to teach you about Islam and maybe just speak over the phone, if you want to meet one another, meet in public and ask her to bring a relative or friend

          Islam is a very beautiful way of life, and if she isnt practicing Islam, then encourage her to, because later she will only regret having any type of relationship with you

          If there are any questions you have about Islam please ask, i am sure there are many here who would be willing to answer and help ya out.

          Perhaps God is sending you a message through her... listen carefully ;)

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: I have met a Muslim woman...

            Thank you for you're responses.

            I have been researching other boards as well, and as I understand it, it's acceptable for a Muslim man to marry a non-Muslim woman if he so desires, but it's not acceptable the other way around. I don't quite understand the reasoning there, but that's a whole different discussion.

            What I am concerned about is, according to one poster, is that I cannot even have a private conversation with this woman unless it's over the telephone.

            Is that how Islam works? A Muslim woman cannot be alone with a non-Muslim man at any time?

            And if that is the case, what about the fact that she is born in Norway, is fully assimilated into our culture (meaning she talks and dresses like a western european), and she has never mentioned anything about being alone in the same room, car, etc. with non-Muslims?

            So far her only objection to me is that she refuses to start any form relationship beyond friendship, which is all we are at the moment, friends.

            Would the people of this forum suggest I disassociate myself from her and turn away when she's alone in a vastly non-Muslim country and still grieving over her father?

            If that is what I should do, I will, but I'd feel pretty horrible about letting a fellow human being down like that, since I'm her only true friend right now.
            Please Re-update your Signature

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            • #7
              Re: I have met a Muslim woman...

              Hey you ask a question and when we give you the answer you can't accept it? She has already given you the answer refusing to go out on a date with you, and if you have any problems with the rulings of Islam then I don't see how you would even be suited for her, some advice would be to learn a little more about Islam then jump to conclusions.
              "Islam began as something strange and will return as it was, so give glad tidings to the strangers."
              "Don't ever argue with an idiot....
              they'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience."

              Comment


              • #8
                : Re: I have met a Muslim woman...

                why am i the first to doubt people's sincerity on the internet?
                .لا نريد زعيما يخاف البيت الإبيض
                نريد زعيما يخاف الواحد الأحد
                دولة الإسلامية باقية





                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: : Re: I have met a Muslim woman...

                  True AbuM...we been getting a lot of these lately..funny how none of them post again after starting such a thread..just close the thread bro.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: I have met a Muslim woman...

                    I am reading your posts, and I can accept what you're saying, but what I'm confused about is the details of the religion, as I'm hearing conflicting things from different boards.

                    And I get further confused because this woman has never stated to me that it's against Islam to be alone together as friends.

                    I think I have some ligitimate questions to ask, and I'm just looking for some clarification. I'm not trying to cause trouble or step on anyone's toes.

                    So if you do not want to respond to my questions, that's fine. But you don't need to post mean spirited replies.

                    Sincerely,
                    M.H.
                    Please Re-update your Signature

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: I have met a Muslim woman...

                      Hey of course not, but thinking logically about it, when to people sit together alone it is not assured that they wouldn't have sinful thoughts.. and one things lead to another. In Islam two people aren't alowed to be together because the third person is the devil. What exactly is it that you want cleared up?
                      "Islam began as something strange and will return as it was, so give glad tidings to the strangers."
                      "Don't ever argue with an idiot....
                      they'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience."

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        : Re: I have met a Muslim woman...

                        Originally posted by M.H.
                        I am reading your posts, and I can accept what you're saying, but what I'm confused about is the details of the religion, as I'm hearing conflicting things from different boards.

                        And I get further confused because this woman has never stated to me that it's against Islam to be alone together as friends.

                        I think I have some ligitimate questions to ask, and I'm just looking for some clarification. I'm not trying to cause trouble or step on anyone's toes.

                        So if you do not want to respond to my questions, that's fine. But you don't need to post mean spirited replies.

                        Sincerely,
                        M.H.
                        oo booboo

                        you come here telling us how you are fraternizing with a muslim woman and you wonder if it is ok

                        when we say it isnt, you say, well she is western and acts western and this and that

                        then why are you here?

                        people have told you, learn about islam, we have an entire section devoted to it, you could peruse it at your leisure

                        you have been to many forums, i am sure they have told you exactly what we have told you

                        so basically, you are going around the internet telling the muslims how you are dating a muslim woman

                        either she is practicing and sinning, or she isnt practicing and her islam really means nothing to her

                        i dont understand your purpose for posting this
                        .لا نريد زعيما يخاف البيت الإبيض
                        نريد زعيما يخاف الواحد الأحد
                        دولة الإسلامية باقية





                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: I have met a Muslim woman...

                          there is a clarification and an important question

                          the clarification is....

                          A Muslim woman cannot be alone with a non-Muslim man at any time?
                          non Muslim and Muslim men...

                          and the muslim man can't also be alone with a non muslim or muslim women alone

                          unless she/he is her/his mahram....aka his/her blood brother/sister...wife/husband...son/daughter...mother/father...etc

                          and the important question is...

                          are you sure that her reason for refusing to date you is a religious reason??

                          i mean she...

                          will do is visit me and have a cup of coffee in my apartment.
                          and she...

                          has never mentioned anything about being alone in the same room, car, etc. with non-Muslims
                          and not to forget that she...

                          dresses like a western european
                          maybe her reason is not religious.....i know it will make you feel better to know that she is seeing you in her dreams and is dieing to be with you but her religious taboo is keeping her away from you........but the truth (which hurts) is that maybe she doesn't give a damn about religious taboos and that she just don't like you......think about it
                          Last edited by Al-Nasser; 24-02-06, 01:34 AM.
                          My toughest fight was with my first wife.

                          Muhammad Ali Clay

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: : Re: I have met a Muslim woman...

                            Originally posted by AbuMubarak
                            oo booboo

                            you come here telling us how you are fraternizing with a muslim woman and you wonder if it is ok

                            when we say it isnt, you say, well she is western and acts western and this and that

                            then why are you here?

                            people have told you, learn about islam, we have an entire section devoted to it, you could peruse it at your leisure

                            you have been to many forums, i am sure they have told you exactly what we have told you

                            so basically, you are going around the internet telling the muslims how you are dating a muslim woman

                            either she is practicing and sinning, or she isnt practicing and her islam really means nothing to her

                            i dont understand your purpose for posting this

                            calm down abu mubarak...what if he really is asking for advice? best not to jump to conclusions eh?
                            The great Imam ash-Shafi, he went to his teacher Waki`
                            Complaining about the weakness of his memory.
                            He told him, abandon rebellion, for knowledge is a light
                            And the light of Allah is not bestowed upon a rebel.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: : Re: I have met a Muslim woman...

                              Originally posted by bint
                              calm down abu mubarak...what if he really is asking for advice? best not to jump to conclusions eh?
                              It's just that from what he has posted so far, it seems he has come for other reasons.
                              "Islam began as something strange and will return as it was, so give glad tidings to the strangers."
                              "Don't ever argue with an idiot....
                              they'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience."

                              Comment

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