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My Wife And Hijaab

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  • #46
    Mufti Muhammed ibn Adam is not a scholar I trust in regards to fatawa.. I will check inshallah again from ulema here...








    Ibn Abidin (ra) is a well versed scholar who is trustworthy.. if it is mustahab to divorce then they should divorce...

    sin and accountablity are 2 different things if i said sin then forgive me my mistake
    Last edited by Al-Irhaab; 23-11-05, 11:32 AM.


    There is no nobility in anyone who lacks faith.

    The wise man knows that the only fitting price for his soul is a place in Paradise.

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    • #47
      Book 020, Number 4496:
      It has been narrated on the authority of Ibn 'Umar that the Holy Prophet (May be upon him) said: Beware. every one of you is a shepherd and every one is answerable with regard to his flock. The Caliph is a shepherd over the people and shall be questioned about his subjects A man is a guardian over the members of his family and shal be questioned about them (as to how he looked after their physical and moral well-being). A woman is a guardian over the household of her husband and his children and shall be questioned about them A slave is a guardian over the property of his master and shall be questioned about it Beware, every one of you is a guardian and every one of you shall be questioned with regard to his trust.



      There is no nobility in anyone who lacks faith.

      The wise man knows that the only fitting price for his soul is a place in Paradise.

      Comment


      • #48
        Re: My Wife And Hijaab

        Originally posted by badr View Post
        Slmz all... How do i convince my wife to abandon dressing like the kufaar of the west? I have given her books on virtues on hijaab and stuff i found on the net and i even told her that i would buy her all of the most expensive hijaabs and scarfs that she wanted. She just seems non interested. :( I dont want to force her, i want her to do it cos she sees the benefit for herself..
        it depends where u live..btw,if i would have a hubby like this...offering to buy the most expensives hijabs..uh...i buy hijabs with 1 or 2 euro....and have just 4:embar:
        أشهد أن لا إله إلاَّ الله و أشهد أن محمد رسول الله

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        • #49
          Re: My Wife And Hijaab

          1 euro thats a bargain!
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          • #50
            Re: My Wife And Hijaab

            asalmu alkum brother,

            SEE this technic always works because a women feels special. With this technic i made non-mulsims want to wear it. lol i was just explaing why i wear it

            You first tell her that a women is a pearl or a diamond, she always has to be coverd because she is so percious. KEEP GIVING HER COMPLIEMNTS about her looks exc.

            tell her she is pretty and beutful and that she is soo gorgeous that you dont want other men to see her.

            Tell her that her body and hair is percious and should be only shown to people she could. Tell her she should not be used as an object becuase people look at her and think of her as an object with that cloth. Question her why she wears. She is most likley going to make a real stupid exuse up. TEll her that SHE is married who else does she want to attract. sersiouly most muslism who dont wear it is becuase they want to attract men.

            after u get serious start telling her she is very beutful and to think about it becuase you dont want other men seeing her.

            ----------------

            if that doesnt work at all you have to grow iman in her heart first.
            first scare her about hell. if you do not know much you have to read and explain hell in depth. Then explain the relgion. THEN expalin Jannah (paradise) in depeth. inshaa allah she will wear proper.

            DONT NOT FORCE HER. SHE WILL NEVER WANT TO WEAR IT.

            k may god help you and give her hedaih :)
            inshaa Allah one day will realize that she should wear proper :)
            Surat Al-An'am verse 26: Of them there are some who (pretend to) listen to thee; but We have thrown veils on their hearts, so they understand it not, and deafness in their ears; if they saw every one of the Signs, they will not believe in them; in so much that when they come to thee; they (but) dispute with thee; the Unbelievers say: "These are nothing but tales of the ancients."

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            • #51
              Re: My Wife And Hijaab

              :salams

              This issue has many ramifications....

              The first one is... does she think that wearing hijab is fard? That's the very basic thing.

              So if she thinks that wearing hijab is not fard then I suggest you give her books on the issue that show the pro- and the against- reasons and then make du'a and ask Allah swt that He guides her to the truth.

              But that's about all you can do... enjoin her to good.

              Wearing hijab is an act of obedience and of ibada to Allah swt. That's it. So if you "force" her (as it's forced in Muslim majority countries) you're taking away the option for her to use it to please Allah swt. So, really her intention is not to please Allah swt but to get you to stop nagging her and then you will rob her the opportunity to maybe reach the truth! So not only she will be guilty of not wearing hijab, but also of being a hypocrite! Don't do that to her.

              So, IMO, as much as you can't coerce someone to convert to Islam, you can "coerce" someone to wear hijab. The person either wears it or not. Period.

              As her husband, you've done your duty to advise her and provide her with information and encouragement, which is great. Now it's her who will answer to Allah for her decision as we all will.

              I don't understand... didn't you discuss this before marriage???
              In the end, if this issue is so important to you, then you could consider divorce. But not in a threatening "if you don't wear hijab I'll divorce you" way, but in a simple "we don't see eye to eye in matters of deen so we should part" way. And make sure that you give her a generous maintainance so she can get back on her feet and redo her life (and you re-do yours).

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              • #52
                Re: My Wife And Hijaab

                Oh yeah, and the last thing....


                ... wearing hijab is not something isolated out of the blue. Wearing hijab is part of an all-encompassing lifestyle and way of submission to Allah swt.

                So maybe there are other steps that need to precede this hijab thing. Most importantly, she needs to have a greater Iman, improve her relationship with Allah swt and be open to be guided to His truth. All these things are even more important than wear hijab or not. Establishing the 5 pillars not only in practice but in our hearts should be our first priority.

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                • #53
                  Re: My Wife And Hijaab

                  Originally posted by Al-Irhaab View Post
                  Book 020, Number 4496:
                  It has been narrated on the authority of Ibn 'Umar that the Holy Prophet (May be upon him) said: Beware. every one of you is a shepherd and every one is answerable with regard to his flock. The Caliph is a shepherd over the people and shall be questioned about his subjects A man is a guardian over the members of his family and shal be questioned about them (as to how he looked after their physical and moral well-being). A woman is a guardian over the household of her husband and his children and shall be questioned about them A slave is a guardian over the property of his master and shall be questioned about it Beware, every one of you is a guardian and every one of you shall be questioned with regard to his trust.

                  :salams

                  Exactly and that means that he needs to "advise" her, not force her!!! If he forces her, her niyya would be incorrect anyways so she'll still have to answer for that.

                  The Quran, Allah's glorious words who are above any human writing, is very clear in this matter:

                  The Believers, men and women, are protectors one of another: they enjoin what is just, and forbid what is evil: they observe regular prayers, practise regular charity, and obey Allah and His Messenger. On them will Allah pour His mercy: for Allah is Exalted in power, Wise.[Quran 9:71]

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