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Breaking the Circle of Violence

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  • Breaking the Circle of Violence

    Breaking the Circle of Violence
    By Family Page Editorial Team
    July 10 ,2005
    The Tool Chest
    Here are some tools that other men have found useful. You can use them right now to stop abuse in your relationship.
    No Excuses
    The first thing you have to do to stop violence and other abuse is to stop making excuses and blaming your partner. You cannot force the other person to change, but you can change yourself. Make a commitment to yourself that you will not be violent, no matter what happens.
    there is no excuse for abuse
    Time Out
    The most important tool is simply to take time out when you feel yourself getting angry. It is simple, but it is not always easy, so here are some tips:
    • Tell your partner about time out before you use it so she knows why you are leaving and approximately how long your time out will be

    • When you start to feel the symptoms, leave the situation immediately, no matter where or when it happens
    • Stay away long enough to cool down, usually about 1 hour, but don't stay away to get even or to punish your partner
    • Don't drink, do drugs, or drive while you are angry

    • If you can talk about what upset you when you return, do it, but be prepared to leave again if you are too angry to listen
    • every time you need to, you will never be violent. Your partner also has a right to take time out.
    • Your anger is your responsibility. It is not your partner's responsibility to tell you to take time out, this is something you need to do because of your feelings. By taking a time out you are taking responsibility for your feelings and for preventing abusive behavior.
    • Many men make the mistake of using time out to avoid talking about difficult issues. A time out is an emergency measure. It does not solve anything. Your relationship will still fall apart if you cannot listen to and talk about the issues that are important to your partner.

    • Taking time out can be a healthy step toward recovery and better communication.
      From:
      http://www.islamonline.net/English/family/2005/07/article02.shtml

  • #2
    i see alot of peole preahcing this 'non-violent' way...but they have never not once specified WHY we should go the 'non-violent' way

    every time epople go the 'non-violent' way....people usely end up getting jailed and or hurt...and the main goal is almsot ALWAYS not achived
    Please Re-update your Signature

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