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i need ur advice

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  • #31
    Originally posted by Salman Al-Farsi
    Husband does not need wife's permission since the prophet (saw) did not ask his wife's for permission niether did the Sahabah. However a wife can stipulate this as a condition before marriage, if he accepts than he needs to seek her permission before another marriage, if she doesnt stipulate in marriage contract than he does not need her permission to marry another.

    so if she stipulates B4 the marriage that she does not want her hubbie to get married to other wives while they are married, and the hubbie agrees, does that mean during the marriage he cant change his mind and say, "well actually, i do want a second wife", where does the 1st wife stand then, does he still have to take into consideration wat she says becos of the obvious agreemant the mariage was partly based on?
    The Prophet SAW said, "(There are2words which R dear 2 the most gracious (Allah SWT)&very easy4the tongue2say but very heavy in the balance.They are:Subhan Allahi Wa Bihamdihi - Subhan Allahil-Azim

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    • #32
      Originally posted by muslim girl
      so if she stipulates B4 the marriage that she does not want her hubbie to get married to other wives while they are married, and the hubbie agrees, does that mean during the marriage he cant change his mind and say, "well actually, i do want a second wife", where does the 1st wife stand then, does he still have to take into consideration wat she says becos of the obvious agreemant the mariage was partly based on?
      A contract is a contract, Muslim are bound by the contract so he has to stick to the terms and conditions. Perhaps, if he really wants another wife, he can try to persuade her to free him to marry another. However if under the contract he still goes to marry another its not haram to do so, but he is sinful for breaking the contract which has grave consequences in the hereafter.
      "The objective behind Shari'ah is to liberate individuals from his desires in order to be a true Abd (slave) of Allah and that is the legitimate Maslaha... Violating the Shari'ah under the pretext of following Maqasid al-Shari'ah is like the one who cares about the spirit without the body and since the body without the spirit is useless therefore the spirit without the body is useless too." ~ Imam Shatibi - The greatest intellectual founder of Maqasid al-Shari'ah

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      • #33
        Originally posted by Salman Al-Farsi
        A contract is a contract, Muslim are bound by the contract so he has to stick to the terms and conditions. Perhaps, if he really wants another wife, he can try to persuade her to free him to marry another. However if under the contract he still goes to marry another its not haram to do so, but he is sinful for breaking the contract which has grave consequences in the hereafter.


        lol @ "free" him


        j/k bro for the info
        The Prophet SAW said, "(There are2words which R dear 2 the most gracious (Allah SWT)&very easy4the tongue2say but very heavy in the balance.They are:Subhan Allahi Wa Bihamdihi - Subhan Allahil-Azim

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        • #34
          Originally posted by mouse
          if your living in the west it is ilegal to marry more than one woman at a time.. unless he is
          a/ getting a divorce
          b/ he is just going for some sort of religious thing

          you need to persuade your mum to see a good lawyer, and compell him to make ample provisions finnancialy
          apart from that there is little you as a child of the marrage can do, other than give your mum all the love and suport she needs
          its horrible when things like this pull your world apart
          keep strong..my best wishes
          by the way if your mum hasnt any money for the legal side any good solicitor will help her apply for what is called legal aid..
          if you dont know where to start...go to .....citizens advice....you will find telephone numbers in the phone book, and there is usualy a ..citizens advice unit in all towns and cities..

          This is exactly the reason we need more islamic councillors and muslim advisers ... who can best understand the situation and give the best advice, which does not go against Islam or what Allah has precribed for us.

          Oh you who believe, do not take those outside your ranks for they will not fail to crupt you!

          An Aside: I think mouse is a kafir, if he/she is not, i would like to appologise. Mouse can you clarify it for me please?!
          Ya Wadud! ~ Oh Beloved, make the veils on my heart to vanish, hear my cry and open my heart with Your Light.

          Oh You Who loves those whose hearts are broken for Your sake ~ You are Allah, Our Lord.

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          • #35
            Originally posted by Salman Al-Farsi
            A contract is a contract, Muslim are bound by the contract so he has to stick to the terms and conditions. Perhaps, if he really wants another wife, he can try to persuade her to free him to marry another. However if under the contract he still goes to marry another its not haram to do so, but he is sinful for breaking the contract which has grave consequences in the hereafter.
            Or he can choose to leave her and take on another wife who would be more accepting of his polygynic interests.

            Someone should relate the incidence of when the Prophet (saws) married Mariyah and what followed after which lead to the revelation of the one verse that mentions something to the effect of.... he (saws) can choose to marry others instead of the wives he (saws) had.... women who would be more obedient to him etc.

            It's too early for me to do the search. InshaAllah, later today... *hoping someone else will beat me to it* :D
            "A cat will look at a king."

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            • #36
              Originally posted by Saifullah
              This is exactly the reason we need more islamic councillors and muslim advisers ... who can best understand the situation and give the best advice, which does not go against Islam or what Allah has precribed for us.

              Oh you who believe, do not take those outside your ranks for they will not fail to crupt you!

              An Aside: I think mouse is a kafir, if he/she is not, i would like to appologise. Mouse can you clarify it for me please?!
              Mouse is our non-muslim participant.
              "The objective behind Shari'ah is to liberate individuals from his desires in order to be a true Abd (slave) of Allah and that is the legitimate Maslaha... Violating the Shari'ah under the pretext of following Maqasid al-Shari'ah is like the one who cares about the spirit without the body and since the body without the spirit is useless therefore the spirit without the body is useless too." ~ Imam Shatibi - The greatest intellectual founder of Maqasid al-Shari'ah

              Comment


              • #37
                update

                well b4 yesterday the situation was as follows:

                The knowledge i knew, the knowledge anyone bothered to tell me was that my dad asked this womans hand in marriage, she denied it. Ok, well today i found out and my mum found out yesterday that my dad in fact has been MARRIED to this woman for 3 MONTHS!! I cant imagine to tell u how am feeling and i know some of u feel like what he is doing is right. But what i dont understand it how this marriage can be hala if everything they tell people and especially his own family is all based on lies. My mum and others (family) have asked him and her planty of times if they were married but they denied it all the time. Until yesterday, when my mum finally pleaded to him to tell her the truth. And yes, he told her he is married to her. My mum asked her to her face and thanked her for saying no and sparing uz from the hurt. But instead this woman LIED to her face, my mum said she was so chilled and calm. How could a muslim sister do that.

                The thing is about this marriage, my dad isnt the 1st person thats asked for her hand in marriage. Theres been a whole list of men that have and as soon as the 1st wives find out they do something and they then back off except my dad.

                The thing is she doesnt do it in a halal way, she invites men to her house, she gets in a car with them, she invites them for dinner. Knowing full well that this is haram.

                Am sorry i can never except what my dad is doing but we are going to love him the same way and respecting. He still lives at home with us he knows we HATE the idea that he's married and he knows how hurt we are. Were just praying and making duaa every day that our hearts grow stronger and stronger.

                Please brothers and sisters make duaa for us for this hurt and difficulties to end soon, especially for my mums sake as this whole thing is making her ill, am afraid she will start to have problems with her heart again.

                thanks a lot for reading my posts. It feels so much better when i share this because no one in the house likes talking about it and i cant talk to any of my friends because i dont want their sympathy or pitty coz it makes me feel weak.

                wa salam
                Please Re-update your Signature

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                • #38
                  Originally posted by muslim girl
                  i keep hearing that the husband has to get the first wives permission, is this correct?
                  He does not have to get his wife's permission to marry again..although to save the hoo haa later its advisable he at least discusses it with her.
                  You are not aware of the consequences that would result (if you were granted what you desire) because what you seek might be to your detriment. (O soul) be conscious that your Master is more aware about your well-being than you are.

                  ~Ibn Al-Jawzee

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