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Q: Is It A Distortion To Say That Wife Beating Is Allowed In Islam?

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    Q: Is It A Distortion To Say That Wife Beating Is Allowed In Islam?

    Q: Is it a distortion to say that wife beating is allowed in Islam?



    A: In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

    Praise be to Allah. May the peace and blessings of Allah shower upon our Beloved Messenger, his family, companions, and those who follow them.

    It is absolutely a distortion of Islam to say that wife beating is endorsed in Islam.

    Not only is wife beating not endorsed, it is strictly prohibited. Beating someone, whether a husband, wife, or child is unlawful. Beating someone is a form of abuse and Islam does not allow abuse.

    I shudder to think how many Muslim women have ended up in the hospital, battered and bruised, or have died because their husbands believe that Islam gives them the right to physically assault their wives.

    The issue of disciplining the wife comes from verse 34 of Surat al-Nisa. Yusuf Ali translates this verse as follows,"Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because God has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means."

    Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what God would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For God is Most High, great (above you all). Pickthall's translation is, " Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women).

    So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High."

    As you can see, one translator chose the word "beat," while the other chose the word "scourge." The Arabic word is "wadribouhounna," from the root word "darb."

    Linguistically, "darb" has many meanings, some of which include to hit or strike lightly. The English translations may be misleading in some cases and that is why it is important to go to the Arabic sources and see how the scholars have interpreted this verse.

    I have found that the majority of scholars have interpreted this as permission for men to discipline their wives who have become "nashiz," which means rebellious, recalcitrant, or lewd. This permission is not a general permission to discipline the wife whenever the husband feels like it, but rather is meant for women who act out in very specific circumstances and threaten the harmony of the marriage.

    Furthermore, it is a permission granted by Allah to men. It is not a right or privilege. Scholars have also placed limits on what form this discipline takes. The husband is only allowed to use his hand or the equivalent of a miswak, a tooth-stick.

    Furthermore, he may not strike in anger, beat, bruise, or harm his wife. Rather, he gives her a symbolical tap with this very light object. He may not strike her face or any other delicate part of the body. And once again, this is permission, meaning he does not have to do this, but is merely allowed if circumstances warrant.

    Before he disciplines his wife, he is required to take other measures. Note how the Qur'an commands men to first talk to their wives and persuade them with kind, wise words. Then if that fails, he is allowed to forsake marital intimacy, that is, sexual intercourse, as a way to make the wife understand the seriousness of her actions.

    Finally, he is allowed to physically discipline her, but only within the above-mentioned limits. Scholars also say that if he knows that physical discipline will not achieve anything, he should not pursue it. And scholars also caution men to look at the example of the Prophet, peace be upon him. It is a well known fact that the Best of all Creation, upon whom be peace, never hit his wives.

    This permission for a man to discipline his wife is something which men should not take lightly. If this discipline results in any physical or emotional harm to the wife, it is unlawful for the husband to continue. Both husband and wife should be able to sit down and discuss the problem as adults. The fact that problems between husband and wife escalate into physical confrontations is something we as a community need to address.

    The Islamic paradigm for marriage is one of love, mercy, and mutual respect, not violence, fighting, and hatred.

    Please see this additional link on SunniPath for scholarly discussions of this issue, along with the relevant hadiths and legal opinions:

    Wife Beating

    And Allah knows best.

    Umm Salah (Zaynab Ansari)
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    #2
    :salams

    Nice post
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    Comment


      #3
      but then wife beaters could argue about their VERSION of beating their wife LIGHTLY
      The Prophet SAW said, "(There are2words which R dear 2 the most gracious (Allah SWT)&very easy4the tongue2say but very heavy in the balance.They are:Subhan Allahi Wa Bihamdihi - Subhan Allahil-Azim

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by muslim girl
        but then wife beaters could argue about their VERSION of beating their wife LIGHTLY
        if it leaves bruises i dont think tht would count as "light" beating
        You are not aware of the consequences that would result (if you were granted what you desire) because what you seek might be to your detriment. (O soul) be conscious that your Master is more aware about your well-being than you are.

        ~Ibn Al-Jawzee

        Comment


          #5
          Asalamualaikum

          Thanks for the post seven, i kno some ppl who are curious so inshAllah i'll pass on the word:)

          And ditto Ebony, i learnt that it cant cause a bruise, and that he should use a small stick, the width of his thumb, but when u think about it, its more of a show, to show how displeased he is with you, diss eh?

          Wa'alaikumasalam

          Comment


            #6
            [QUOTE=Guardian Hijab]Asalamualaikum

            Thanks for the post seven, i kno some ppl who are curious so inshAllah i'll pass on the word:)

            And ditto Ebony, i learnt that it cant cause a bruise, and that he should use a small stick, the width of his thumb, but when u think about it, its more of a show, to show how displeased he is with you, diss eh?



            yeah,i read that too,he is not allowed to leave bruises on you but a man can hit u HARD without leaving bruises too right?

            there is some one who u jus have to grab by the arm and they get a bruise!!

            im like that, if my sis grabs me by the arm ABIT tight or slightly roughly,i get blue/black bruises the next day where she held me!!!!
            The Prophet SAW said, "(There are2words which R dear 2 the most gracious (Allah SWT)&very easy4the tongue2say but very heavy in the balance.They are:Subhan Allahi Wa Bihamdihi - Subhan Allahil-Azim

            Comment


              #7
              If any man tried to hit me with a stick, I'd laugh at him.
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                #8
                yes exactly like me!! one little touch makes my arms or legs go purple and blue in awe:eek2:

                :evilb::evilb: :evilb: :evilb: :hidban: :hidban: :banbear: :banbear: :hidban: :banan: :banan:
                {the whole happy family, awwwwww and they are dancing aswell:D}

                [QUOTE=muslim girl]
                Originally posted by Guardian Hijab
                Asalamualaikum

                Thanks for the post seven, i kno some ppl who are curious so inshAllah i'll pass on the word:)

                And ditto Ebony, i learnt that it cant cause a bruise, and that he should use a small stick, the width of his thumb, but when u think about it, its more of a show, to show how displeased he is with you, diss eh?



                yeah,i read that too,he is not allowed to leave bruises on you but a man can hit u HARD without leaving bruises too right?

                there is some one who u jus have to grab by the arm and they get a bruise!!

                im like that, if my sis grabs me by the arm ABIT tight or slightly roughly,i get blue/black bruises the next day where she held me!!!!
                ربِ إشرح لي صدري ويسر لي أمري

                Comment


                  #9
                  The Muslim Women's Helpline
                  020 8904 8193
                  020 8908 6715
                  Admin: 020 8908 3205
                  www.amrnet.demon.co.uk/related/mwhl.html
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                    #10
                    Wife Beating




                    1. Does the Arabic word 'daraba' necessarily mean "violent or intense or repeated striking?"




                    No.

                    Jurists routinely use the expression "daraba al-ma' `ala wajhihi" - lit. strike water upon the face, for someone accomplishing the first rukn of wudu' (washing the face).



                    Also in Arabic daraba al-ard "to strike the earth" - as in verse 4:94 {When you strike the earth in the cause of Allah} - means to travel, i.e. walking with a staff.





                    2. Has the phrase 'wadribuhunna' in 4:34 normally been interpreted as a command or has it been interpreted as more of a recommendation?




                    Not even a recommendation. Al-Razi said in his Tafsir on 4:34 (1308/1891 edition 3:222): "Al-Shaf`i said: 'wa al-darbu mubah, wa al-tarku afdal - and hitting is permitted, but not hitting is preferable.'"

                    NB: Al-Shafi`i's position is therefore that it is "permissible", NOT "just barely permissible" as misrepresented by Muhammad Asad. [_The Message of the Qur'an_, translation and commentary of the Qur'an by Muhammad Asad (1980), footnote 45, p. 109 (one of the commentaries on verse 4:34).]

                    The basic rule (asl) is strict prohibition, followed by dispensation (rukhsa) as explicited by the Prophet [salallahu alayhi wasalam] in the hadith below, which al-Shafi`i took for his evidence in his ruling:

                    The Prophet [salallahu alayhi wasalam] said: "Do not hit the maidservants of Allah!" (la tadribu ima' Allah). Then `Umar (RA) came to the Prophet [salallahu alayhi wasalam]and said [NB: by way of exaggeration, cf. `Awn al-Ma`bud]: "The women are rebelling (dha'irna) against their husbands!" So the Prophet[salallahu alayhi wasalam] GAVE A DISPENSATION (rakhkhasa) to beat them. Whereupon women started pouring in to see the family of the Messenger of Allah and complain about their husbands. Seeing this, the Prophet[salallahu alayhi wasalam] said: "Many women have poured in to see the family of Muhammad, complaining of their husbands, and *the latter are certainly not the best of you*." Narrated from Iyas ibn `Abd Allah ibn Abi Dhubab by al-Shafi`i in his Musnad, Abu Dawud, al-Nasa'i, Ibn Majah, al-Tabarani in al-Kabir, and al-Hakim. Al-Nawawi and al-Suyuti graded it a sound (sahih) narration in Riyad al-Salihin [RS-281] and al-Jami` al-Saghir respectively.

                    In a version cited by al-Razi in his Tafsir, (3:222) `Umar also states: "We the Quraysh used to have our men holding sway over our women. Then we came to Madina and found that their women held sway over their men. Then our women mixed with their women until they rebelled (dha'irna) against their husbands. So I came to the Prophet [salallahu alayhi wasalam] and told him: 'The women are rebelling against their husbands!' So he [salallahu alayhi wasalam] GAVE PERMISSION (adhina) to beat them. Whereupon, etc."

                    Some people who were influenced by feminism until they forgot the Adab of Islam, tend to badmouth Sayyidina `Umar for what they term his mistreatment of women. While it is true that the Arabs in general and Sayyidina `Umar in particular had a very high sense of self-respect (ghira) as attested by no less than the Prophet [salallahu alayhi wasalam] (in the hadith where he mentions seeing `Umar's palace in Paradise), nevertheless we should observe Adab so as not to commit a sin whenever mentioning the Prophet[salallahu alayhi wasalam] , his Family, and His Companions, indeed all Muslims as Allah (SWT) made the honor of a Muslim as sacrosanct as his life and property.

                    The Prophet [salallahu alayhi wasalam] also expressed astonishment at the cruelty of certain men when he said: "Could any of you beat his wife as he would beat a slave, and then lie with her in the evening?" (Bukhari and Muslim).

                    The crafty little anti-Islam page on domini.org states:
                    "The Qur'an states:

                    "Righteous women are therefore obedient, And those you fear may be rebellious (nushuz) admonish; banish them to their couches, and beat them."

                    "Some translators add the word lightly after 'beat them' in Q 4:34. Others like Mohammed Pickthall and Rodwell translate the word 'edrebouhon - beat them' as 'scourge them'. [...] But "a beating without causing injury" (agreed upon) "So the man has the right to beat his rebellious wife as long as that beating is not like the whipping of the slave and will not result in injury."

                    Of course the above is false and tendentious but couched in the syrupy style typical of missionaries.

                    The hadith in Muslim states that the Prophet [salallahu alayhi wasalam] in his Farewell Pilgrimage said: "Lo! My last recommendation to you is that you should TREAT WOMEN WELL. Truly they are your helpmates, and you have no right over them beyond that - EXCEPT IF THEY COMMIT A MANIFEST INDECENCY (fahisha mubina = adultery). If they do, then refuse to share their beds and beat them WITHOUT INDECENT VIOLENCE (fadribuhunna darban ghayra mubarrih*). Then, if they obey you, do not show them hostility any longer. Lo! you have a right over your women and they have a right over you. Your right over your women is that they not allow whom you hate to enter your bed nor your house. While their right over them is that you treat them excellently in their garb and provision."

                    *** Then he [salallahu alayhi wasalam] took the covenant from them and from us that they and we all heard and understood this from him, respectively, directly and indirectly, with his forefinger raised, and said: "O Allah! bear witness." ***

                    After this, whatever Muslim man derogates to the recommendation of the Prophet [salallahu alayhi wasalam] has violated his covenant with the Prophet [salallahu alayhi wasalam] and shall be called to account for it; and whoever of the non-Muslim men or women claims - even the Archbishop of Canterbury and his wife - that beating women is allowed in Islam, has belied the Divine witness invoked by the Prophet [salallahu alayhi wasalam] and shall be called to account for it in the Divine Court.

                    *"Mubarrih" is defined in al-Mawrid as "violent, intense, severe, acute, sharp, excruciating, tormenting, agonizing." Qatada said as narrated by al-Tabari in his Tafsir (5:68): "Ghayr mubarrih means ghayr sha'in = not disgraceful/ outrageous/ obscene/ indecent [beating]." Muhammad Asad translates it over-figuratively as "not causing pain."



                    3. What is the evidence for saying that this 'striking' is in fact only supposed to be carried out with something small, like a miswak?




                    `Ata' said: "I asked Ibn `Abbas: 'What is the hitting that is ghayr al-mubarrih?' He replied: '[With] the siwak and the like'." Narrated by al-Tabari in his Tafsir (Dar al-Fikr reprint 5:68).



                    Al-Razi (3:222) mentions that as a rule (a) it must be a light beating and (b) the face must be avoided. He added that certain of the Shafi`i jurists said "a coiled scarf (mindil malfuf) (NB: NOT "a folded handkerchief" as mistranslated by Asad) or his hand may be used but not a whip nor a stick."





                    4. Where is the hadith found in which the Prophet [salallahu alayhi wasalam] said to a servant-girl who had been extremely late "If I were not afraid of Allah, I would hit you with this" referring to a miswak?




                    Ibn Sa`d in al-Tabaqat al-Kubra, Al-Tabarani in al-Mu`jam al-Kabir, Abu Ya`la in his Musnad, Abu Nu`aym in Hilyat al-Awliya' and al-Hakim in al-Mustadrak narrated from Umm Salama: "The Prophet [salallahu alayhi wasalam] was in my house and there was a siwak in his hand. He called for Wasifa [the servant-girl] to come to him or to her [i.e. to serve Umm Salama] but she tarried until anger was visible on his face. So Umm Salama went out to her and found her playing with an animal. She said to her: "You are playing while the Messenger of Allah is calling you?" She replied: "No, by the one who sent you with truth! I did not hear you." Whereupon the Prophet [salallahu alayhi wasalam] said: "Were it not for fear of exaction (qawad) on the Day of Resurrection, I should surely make you sore (la'awja`tuki) with this toothpick."



                    Al-Munawi in Fayd al-Qadir mentioned that al-Mundhiri and al-Haythami declared its chain of transmission good. Al-Suyuti graded the hadith "fair" (hasan) in al-Jami` al-Saghir. Al-Muttaqi cited it in Kanz al-`Ummal (#39820, 39821, 39829).



                    5. What is the exact meaning of 'nushuz'? It is translated as disobedience, but there seem to be others who think it means something more like 'ill-will' or 'hostility' or 'ill-treatment'.




                    It depends on context and how these terms are themselves understood by those who use them. Ill-treatment on the part of a wife to her husband, for example, is a bit different from ill-treatment on the part of a grocer to his customer.

                    Nushuz is translated "Recalcitrance, disobedience, violation of marital duties on the part of the wife" in al-Mawrid Ar-Eng Dictionary.

                    Nushuz in the verse, as shown, is an euphemism for adultery because her primary marital duty is spelled out in the hadith as "not allowing whom you hate to enter your bed nor your house." Al-Maziri also said that another interpretation of the words in that hadith said it referred to a woman sitting in seclusion with a stranger inside her husband's house. (Al-Nawawi, Sharh Sahih Muslim.)

                    6. Is it not true that slapping someone on the face is not allowed in Islam? Is there a consensus on this point?




                    It is a transgression requiring exaction (qawad) which can be changed into monetary compensation (diyya) in the Four Schools, and Allah knows best.

                    Examples: (a) the famous hadith from Mu`awiya ibn al-Hakam in Sahih Muslim of the black woman slave whom her owner slaps and is then obligated to manumit as her compensation.

                    (b) Also in Sahih Muslim, the example of Suwayd ibn Muqarrin who saw a man slap his female slave and told him: "Do you not know that the face is taboo? (al-sura muharrama) I, whom you see in front of you, the seventh of my brothers, was with the Messenger of Allah and we only had one servant; one of us slapped him, so the Messenger of Allah commanded us to free him."

                    (c) A man from the Ansar insulted al-`Abbas's father who lived in the Time of Ignorance, whereupon al-`Abbas slapped him. The man returned to his people who said: "By Allah, we shall slap him just as he slapped him," and they girded their weapons. News of this reached the Prophet [salallahu alayhi wasalam] who ascended the pulpit and said: "O people! Who among the dwellers of the earth is deemed most honorable in the presence of Allah?" They said, "You." He continued: "And al-`Abbas is part of me, and I am part of him. Do not insult our dead, thereby harming our living." The people then came to the Prophet [salallahu alayhi wasalam] and said: "O Messenger of Allah! We seek refuge in Allah from your anger." Narrated from Ibn `Abbas by Ahmad and al-Nasa'i with a sound chain according to al-`Iraqi in Takhrij Ahadith al-Ihya', also al-Tabarani in al-Mu`jam al-Kabir.

                    Al-Sindi in his commentary on al-Nasa'i's Sunan said: "Since he had begun with the insult, the slap received was not to obtain retaliation."

                    Note that the directive of the above hadith was royally ignored by the Wahhabi preacher of the Prophet's Mosque in Madina, Abu Bakr al-Jaza'iri, who used to shout at the top of his lungs, right next to al-Mustafa [salallahu alayhi wasalam] ?: "The father and mother of the Prophet are in hellfire! The father and mother of the Prophet are in hellfire!" and so until his death last year. I wonder, should we believe that Abu Bakr al-Jaza'iri and his parents are in Paradise, while the parents of the Prophet Muhammad [salallahu alayhi wasalam] are in hellfire? Hasbuna Allah.

                    The ruling of automatic manumission for striking a slave in the face is estalished by the following hadith of the Prophet [salallahu alayhi wasalam] :

                    (d) "Whoever strikes his slave in the face or beats him unjustly, his expiation is to manumit him." Narrated from Ibn `Umar by Muslim in his Sahih.

                    The ruling that the face is taboo is established by the following hadith of the Prophet [salallahu alayhi wasalam] :

                    (e) "If you fight your brother, avoid striking the face, for Allah created Adam in his image." Narrated from Abu Hurayra by Muslim and al-Bukhari, the latter without the words "your brother." If this is forbidden while fighting or when interacting with a slave, then a fortiori it is forbidden outside fighting and with one's wife.

                    Do not be misled by the Satanic whispers of domini.org which states:
                    "The occasion in which Q 4:34 was revealed sheds more light on the meaning of that verse. Most commentators mention that the above verse was revealed in connection with a woman who complained to Mohammad that her husband slapped her on the face (which was still marked by the slap). At first the Prophet said to her: 'Get even with him', but then added : 'Wait until I think about it.' Later on the above verse was revealed, after which the Prophet said: 'We wanted one thing but Allah wanted another, and what Allah wanted is best.'[Razi, At-tafsir al-Kabir, on Q. 4:34.]"
                    Crafty, crafty, and all for what? lies. Ars longa, vita brevis!

                    The commentators also mention that this report is narrated only from al-Hasan al-Basri who is NOT a Companion. The most that can be said of it here is that it is a weak, isolated, mursal Tabi`i report that does not have probative force.

                    What is more, al-Hasan himself flatly contradicts the above as he reportedly explained {wadribuhunna} to mean: "hitting that is not obscene; hitting that *does not leave a trace*" (darban ghayra mubarrih ghayra mu'aththir). Narrated by al-Tabari in his Tafsir (Dar al-Fikr reprint 5:68).

                    And Allah Most High knows best.

                    {Wa Makaru wa Makara Allah wAllahu Khayru-l-Makirin}

                    {Yuridun an yutfi'u Nur Allah bi Afwahihim wa Ya'ba Allah

                    Illa an Yatimma Nurahu wa law Kariha al-Kafirun}

                    Blessings and peace of Allah on the Prophet, his Family, and his Companions.

                    Hajj Gibril GF Haddad ©

                    www.sunnipath.com
                    www.marifah.info

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                      #11
                      Originally posted by marjan
                      If any man tried to hit me with a stick, I'd laugh at him.
                      :rofl1:
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                        #12
                        Wife Beating

                        Wife Beating is totally condoned (prohibited) in Islam.

                        Husband and wife should live happily with each other, each have their faults and each must percivere and ask for forgiveness from one another.

                        In today's society wife beating has moved to such a stage that even shouting and abusing one's position as in control can be classed as domestic violence. Certain muslim sisters have reacted negatively by asking advice from lawyers who are only interested in the financial gains that they will receive. If problems do arise then family and the muslim community should be contacted first and reconcilliation must be attempted first. If and when this fails, then the muslim sister should ask to be freed from the marriage.

                        It is not only muslim sisters who fear DV, the hidden truth is that our muslim brothers are also faced with DV and this has not been discussed !
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                          #13
                          if my future husband raised his hands towards me - i would leave straight away cause if he does it once he will certainly do it again. i think men who hit their women should be ashamed of themselves. men are already stronger than women and just think how degrading it is when a man hits a woman!!!!! Honestly - that is the sadest thing a man can do.
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                            #14
                            Its disgraceful.
                            You are not aware of the consequences that would result (if you were granted what you desire) because what you seek might be to your detriment. (O soul) be conscious that your Master is more aware about your well-being than you are.

                            ~Ibn Al-Jawzee

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                              #15
                              don't beat...pinch..pinching hurts more..and doesn't leave a mark

                              edith, and if a woman i am not married to..is man enough to hit me...then she is man enough to get hit
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