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  • The Dream Wedding

    THE DREAM WEDDING
    [Student: Madrassatus Sawlehaat]


    It is perfectly natural for a young girl to dream about her wedding day, what it will be like, what she will wear, how she will bid farewell to her family, etc. Nikah is a vital part of our deen, and most girls do one day, want to settle down with that person whom Allah Ta'aala has destined them to be with.

    But ask any girl the actual content of her dreams, or what she pictures her wedding day to be like,

    and one can expect to hear: "I'd like to arrive at the hall in a yellow BMW convertible", or "I'd want to have

    my wedding photographs taken alongside a pond." Most girls might even be able to tell you the size and

    the style of the wedding ring they are anticipating, how much they are willing to spend on a white

    wedding gown, etc.

    The sad part is most of these dreams are realised. What the young Muslim bride-to-be wants, her parents

    give her, and even if she doesn't want it, her parents still force it upon her.

    So what we end up with is a young girl, about to embark on a most beautiful form of ibaadat, sitting on a

    stage, looking no different from a Christian bride, for a whole audience of males and females to stare

    at - at a time when it is vital that she be sitting on the Musallah, making dua, asking Allah Ta'aala to make

    her marriage a successful one. A young couple posing for photographs - hugging and kissing for hundreds

    of people to see.

    Hours of music, followed by a five minute qiraat and dua, and then back to the music. And of course a

    camera-man moving about frantically capturing everything: the cutting of a four-tier wedding cake, the grand entrance of the bride to a confetti-welcome, the presentation of a bouquet, the groom's sister putting on jewellery for the bride .... the list is endless. Latest trends include the serving of grape juice in wine glasses what one wonders, is the intention behind this), the bride and groom and a (unisex) bridal party sitting and eating on the stage in full view of everyone, a special night set aside before the wedding for qawali music accompanied by dancing. Where - do we ever ask ourselves - do all these practices emerge from? Certainly not the Quraan, certainly not Sunnah.

    If we really let ourselves think about the answer to this question we will have to admit that everything about the circus wedding we host - from the often crude and tasteless bridal showers hosted for the bride by her friends to the practice commonly known as "janha" wherein the groom's family has to present the bride with an expensive item of jewellery before the wedding, to the mehendi ceremony, to the engagement parties, to the wedding ring, to the white gown, the walking down the aisle, the brides-maids, to the bouquet, the cake, the videos and the photographs, basically everything besides the performing of the Nikaah itself has absolutely no validity in our beautiful and simple deen.

    In fact the majority of these practices originate from other religions, and we have taken them, and practised them and advertised them, to such an enormous extent that they are now wrongfully been recognised as being part of the Muslim way of life. Our weddings have become virtually indistinguishable from the wedding of the kuffaar. And they shouldn't be. As Muslims, everything about us from our character to our dressing to our practices, should serve as an example to people. We should be trying to preserve our deen - with all its simplicity and beauty.

    Nothing about the weddings we host makes any sense. Islamically it is not at all incumbent upon the bride's

    family to host any form of feeding before or after the Nikaah. (Yes, it is Sunnat for the groom's family to have a Walimah, after the marriage has been consummated but his too, should be a simple affair). Yet, thousands of rands go into the hosting of a bridal reception, with all its food, frills and fancies. At the end of the day, we are leftwith a series of complaints about the food, unnecessary family quarrels of the "why was I not invited?" Variety, a wasted ball gown that will probably never be worn again and huge debts.

    Instead of throwing all this money away on a few moments of senseless sin, the bride's family could have

    unutilised it in a way which would be of some real benefit to her and to her prospective husband, e.g. by

    making some contribution to the setting up of a home for the couple. We should always remind ourselves

    of the marriage of Hadhrat Fatimah (Radiallahu 'Anha), the daughter of our beloved Nabi (Sallallahu 'Alaihi Wasallam).

    When Hadhrat Ali (Radiallahu 'Anhu) expressed his intention to propose for Hadhrat Fatimah

    (Radiallahu 'Anha), Rasulullah (Sallallahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) was pleased and asked him if he possessed

    any riches. When Hadhrat Ali (Radiallahu 'Anhu) replied that apart from a horse and a shield he

    possessed nothing, Rasulullah (Sallallahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) said: "A soldier must of course, have his horse. Go and sell your shield."

    Hadhrat Ali (radiallahu 'anhu) sold his shield for 400 dirhains, after which Rasulullah (Sallallahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) called Hadhrat Bilal (Radiallahu 'anhu) and asked him to bring some itar lperfume) and a few other things and sent Hadhrat Anas (Radiallahu 'Anhu) to call Hadhrat Abu Bakr, Uthman, Zubair (Radiallahu 'Anhum) and some other men of the Ansar. When they had arrived, Rasufullah (Sallallahu 'alaihi Wasallam) recited the Nikah Khutbah, giving Hadhrat Fathimah (Radiallahu 'Anha) innikaah to Hadhrat Ali (Radiallahu 'anhu), he said: "Bear you all witness, I have given Fathimah to Ali for 400 misqals of silver and Ali has accepted." He then raised his head and made dua. After the Nikaah, dates were distributed and when night came, Hadhrat Fathimah (Radiallahu 'Anha) was sent without any hue or cry in the company of Hadhrat Umme Aiman (Radiallahu 'anha).

    Rasulullah (Sallallahu 'Alaihi Wasallam) visited them, made dua for them, and asked for a basin of water

    in which he blew after reciting the three Quls. He then sprinkled this water on both, Hadhrat Ali

    (Radiallahu 'Anhu) and Hadhrat Fatimah radiallahu 'anha). Rasulullah (Sallallahu alaihi Wasallam)

    gave his daughter a silver bracelet, 2 yemeni sheets, 4 mattresses, one blanket, one pillow, one cup,

    one hand grinding mill, one bedstead, a small water skin and an earthen pitcher, and advised them that

    the indoor work should be done by Hadhrat Fatimah (Radiallahu 'Anha) and the outdoor work by

    Hadhrat Ali (Radiallahu 'Anhu). [Sunnats Kitaab - Mufti EMH Salejee.]

    This is the "dream wedding" which we should all be striving towards. It would be to the benefit of many

    if we start instilling this in the minds of our children, especially our daughters. We should encourage

    them towards totally following the Sunnah, and not just doing so selectively ie. by following whatever

    is easy to follow, and then emulating other people in others aspects of life.

    By becoming the slaves of our nafs and Shaitaan, ie. by hosting unnecessary and elaborate functions,

    we are only hampering the Imaan and futures of our children: how can we expect them to embark on

    the ibaadat which nikaah is, when this ibaadat begins with a series of sins? It should be the pleasure of

    Allah Ta'aala which we hope to attain, not the pleasure of misguided family members and friends.

    Rather endure their displeasure, than face the displeasure of Allah Ta'ala.

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  • #2
    404: The page you are trying to access is not available

    It may be one of the following reasons:

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    link dnt wrk datz wot it sayz wot woz da lnk bout?

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    • #3
      don't know
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      • #4
        Originally posted by PaGaL~LaDo0
        link dnt wrk datz wot it sayz wot woz da lnk bout?
        Cz the "link" isnt a link..its one of the smileys that hasnt quite come out right :D

        Ws
        You are not aware of the consequences that would result (if you were granted what you desire) because what you seek might be to your detriment. (O soul) be conscious that your Master is more aware about your well-being than you are.

        ~Ibn Al-Jawzee

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        • #5
          ohhh w0o0oh0o0o0o0o0o0o kul o0wo0h0oo0 :D :D :D :D

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          • #6
            great post sis :up:

            edit: sorry
            Last edited by Shaolin's-Finest; 15-02-05, 11:02 PM.
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            • #7
              Originally posted by Shaolin's-Finest
              great post bro :up:
              firdaws is a sis (i think...)
              You are not aware of the consequences that would result (if you were granted what you desire) because what you seek might be to your detriment. (O soul) be conscious that your Master is more aware about your well-being than you are.

              ~Ibn Al-Jawzee

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              • #8
                the Dream Wedding

                sis Ebony
                you thought i was a bro :eek2: :shock: :rotfl:
                i am sis(the name gives it away)
                :hidban:<--------- thats me(SIS)

                :banbear: <--------- bros(not sis firdaws):rofl1:

                :wswrwb:
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                • #9
                  I had an inkling u were a SIS Firdaws :D

                  It was Shaolin i was attempted to correct :D
                  You are not aware of the consequences that would result (if you were granted what you desire) because what you seek might be to your detriment. (O soul) be conscious that your Master is more aware about your well-being than you are.

                  ~Ibn Al-Jawzee

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                  • #10
                    asslamalikum
                    sis fardaws mashallah its a wicked post that u have done.
                    its true by wat u were saying but the sad thing is that our parents being culturally bound and believe that they have to give gold that costs hundreds and even girls them selves believe that this is the best day of there life to be honest i think that until i read ur post which made me realise that its all true and that its not the wordly things that matter but what is to come in the hereafter.
                    so we practise to be good muslims then this will take us on the straight path inshallah.

                    oh yeah a Q if anyone can anwer if a couple were going out to dinner and the husbund says to the wife take ur hijab of is she to put her religion fist knowing that hijab is her farad or listen to her husbund, despite him knowing that there will be other men there aswell??????
                    plz answer

                    slaamalikum
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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by menaz
                      oh yeah a Q if anyone can anwer if a couple were going out to dinner and the husbund says to the wife take ur hijab of is she to put her religion fist knowing that hijab is her farad or listen to her husbund, despite him knowing that there will be other men there aswell??????
                      plz answer

                      slaamalikum
                      Why would a man ask his wife to do that? Of course she should keep her hijab on and not listen to her husband.
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                      • #12
                        slaamalikum

                        thanx ginan i was having a BIG disagreement with a friend as she was saying that u should do wat ur husbund says
                        thanx again
                        slaamalikum
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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by menaz
                          slaamalikum

                          thanx ginan i was having a BIG disagreement with a friend as she was saying that u should do wat ur husbund says
                          thanx again
                          slaamalikum
                          Alsalaamualaikum.
                          You're welcome no problem. I'm sure someone else on her can give you even more information inshallah.
                          Please Re-update your Signature

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                          • #14
                            You mean I don't have to pry open my wallet?


                            How I love sentimental value.

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                            • #15
                              I would love to have a small wedding, but the possibility of this happening is small due to family and culture. A well known family name doesnt help either and me being an only daughter doesnt help even more
                              talking about weddings..:love: :love: smitten smitten:D
                              ربِ إشرح لي صدري ويسر لي أمري

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