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  • How do I deal with Suicidal Thoughts?

    How Do I Deal With Suicidal Thoughts?

    Answered by Ustadha Umm Salah



    For the past five or six years, I have been struggling. I often just accept whatever some "pious looking Muslim" tells me; and not really being able to justify my beliefs - other than, "this is what I am told". I have tried to read books on Islam, only to just struggle with them. Perhaps my learning skills are poor. I make impulsive decisions, and often depend on others to tell me what to do (what career, who should I marry), it's as if I have no confidence in my own ability.

    Meeting people who are not Muslim has confused me - when they put forward their arguments. It makes me feel stupid... If I have tried so hard to grasp the reality of my existence, but keep failing - then what is the point in living my life? What is the point in working hard to establish a career, to work hard to become 'marriageable', to look after ones health etc - if this is all to do with my worldly experience? I can build and build, and then die - and what would I have achieved as I stand before Allah (assuming that this will happen.)

    I have no desire to live, and it is because of this, I have decided to take such a radical step - to go abroad to be amongst people who will be able to (or should be able to) teach me about Islam, and help me to tackle my diseased heart (assuming that this is the problem). But, what if this doesn't work? Why shouldn't I end my life then? After all, if I have been trying to 'connect with Allah', and after all of this - Allah still doesn't help me to change my condition, then why shouldn't I conclude that maybe life is not worth living and perhaps Allah doesn't care for me/exist/etc?




    In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

    Praise be to Allah. May the peace and blessings of Allah shower upon our Beloved Messenger, his family, companions, and those who follow them. Dear Brother,

    It sounds like you are really struggling with the core beliefs of Islam: the existence of Allah, the purpose of creation, divine destiny, and the day of account.

    First and foremost, you need to seek the counsel of a reliable scholar who can address these concerns. Living in isolation only exacerbates your anguish. You need the company of pious Muslims. There is nothing wrong with accepting something your fellow Muslim tells you, especially if it can be of benefit to your heart and soul. Surrendering to Allah is not blind obedience. It is a spiritual, emotional, and intellectual process that we all go through, whether born into Islam or not. Every Muslim, man or woman, young or old, rich or poor, at some point in their lives will have to consciously choose Islam. Islam does not enter into your heart through books; it enters into your heart through the decree of Allah. You can go overseas to study, but if you carry this kind of cynicism in your heart, this will be an obstacle to your growth.

    You are trying to grasp the reality of your existence, but are you really? It's not as difficult as you have made it. Just open the Qur'an. Allah tells us that we're here simply to worship Him. That is the reality of our existence. Everything we do can become an act of worship if we do it with the right intention. Your career, marriage, your building for this life, in reality, is also for the next life. Don't we do everything, whether monumental or mundane, for the sake of Allah? This is the purpose of life. The material possessions of this life don't count for anything once we're gone, but our deeds do come with us. And our deeds will speak for us or against us on the Day of Reckoning. Nothing is in vain. Allah says, "So their Lord accepted their prayers, (saying): I will not suffer to be lost the work of any of you whether male or female. You proceed one from another..." (Qur'an 3:195).

    What right do you have to end the life Allah has given you? You don't think He exists? Just look at yourself! Who gave you and me and everyone else in this world everything we have, from the air we breathe, to the water we drink, to the blood that runs through our veins. Your life is not yours to take. Be grateful to be alive. Be grateful that you can go out and by Allah's grace change someone's life for the better right now. Go out and serve humanity. Feed a hungry person. Help a child to read. Allah has given us countless opportunities to worship Him. Please avail yourself of what Allah has given you.



    Also, please see this link on SunniPath. It may be of benefit to you:

    Depression: "Truly, it is by the Remembrance of Allah that hearts find rest."

    http://www.sunnipath.com/resources/Q...A00000764.aspx



    And, once again, please seek the counsel of a reliable scholar or a Muslim therapist. You need someone to talk to.

    And Allah knows best. And Allah alone gives success.

    Umm Salah (Zaynab Ansari)


    www.sunnipath.com
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    This is advice that is generally applicable to your case, given the details mentioned. However, we highly recommend--in all such cases--that one seek the counsel of a reliable local scholar or counselor.
    www.marifah.info

    Wahhabis Refuted
    Ash'aris

  • #2
    faqir, did you post this especially for me ?

    Living in isolation only exacerbates your anguish.
    As you may know, the above quote resembles my current life.
    I also recently asked myself the same question as this post reflects upon.
    What vanquished any notion of suicide from my mind was the thought of 'an Afterlife'
    and that by taking away that which a creator gave me,
    I would conclusively be barred from entry into any further Kingdom or Spiritual existence.
    I don't know who or even IF any such Creator exists or may have existed.
    I too, only know that which has been recited in the past and brought forward by others.
    But even in the depths of anguish, the concept of a Creators existence and His/? role in our lives
    and any possible future upon death made me rethink the notion of ending it all, once and for all time.

    Oh, and just to clarify one point.
    I do not believe in any sort of eternal HELL.

    line 21: The devotional labors and inspirational genius of the best of men are doomed to be
    extinguished by death, the long and lonely night of eternal oblivion and soul extinction.

    line 304:Such a sin-identified mortal would then become wholly unspiritual in nature (and therefore personally unreal) and would experience eventual extinction of being.
    Last edited by ~Stanley~; 12-02-05, 07:55 PM.
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    • #3
      Bro Stan, I am glad you found this post helpful. May Allah guide you to His religion - Islam.
      www.marifah.info

      Wahhabis Refuted
      Ash'aris

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by faqir
        Bro Stan, I am glad you found this post helpful. May Allah guide you to His religion - Islam.
        :) Must be something here if I keep getting let back in ;)
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        • #5
          Originally posted by ~Stanley~
          :) Must be something here if I keep getting let back in ;)
          of course they let me back in also.
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          • #6
            Originally posted by faqir
            How Do I Deal With Suicidal Thoughts?

            Answered by Ustadha Umm Salah


            For the past five or six years, I have been struggling. I often just accept whatever some "pious looking Muslim" tells me; and not really being able to justify my beliefs - other than, "this is what I am told". I have tried to read books on Islam, only to just struggle with them. Perhaps my learning skills are poor. I make impulsive decisions, and often depend on others to tell me what to do (what career, who should I marry), it's as if I have no confidence in my own ability.

            Meeting people who are not Muslim has confused me - when they put forward their arguments. It makes me feel stupid... If I have tried so hard to grasp the reality of my existence, but keep failing - then what is the point in living my life? What is the point in working hard to establish a career, to work hard to become 'marriageable', to look after ones health etc - if this is all to do with my worldly experience? I can build and build, and then die - and what would I have achieved as I stand before Allah (assuming that this will happen.)

            I have no desire to live, and it is because of this, I have decided to take such a radical step - to go abroad to be amongst people who will be able to (or should be able to) teach me about Islam, and help me to tackle my diseased heart (assuming that this is the problem). But, what if this doesn't work? Why shouldn't I end my life then? After all, if I have been trying to 'connect with Allah', and after all of this - Allah still doesn't help me to change my condition, then why shouldn't I conclude that maybe life is not worth living and perhaps Allah doesn't care for me/exist/etc?



            In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

            Praise be to Allah. May the peace and blessings of Allah shower upon our Beloved Messenger, his family, companions, and those who follow them. Dear Brother,

            It sounds like you are really struggling with the core beliefs of Islam: the existence of Allah, the purpose of creation, divine destiny, and the day of account.

            First and foremost, you need to seek the counsel of a reliable scholar who can address these concerns. Living in isolation only exacerbates your anguish. You need the company of pious Muslims. There is nothing wrong with accepting something your fellow Muslim tells you, especially if it can be of benefit to your heart and soul. Surrendering to Allah is not blind obedience. It is a spiritual, emotional, and intellectual process that we all go through, whether born into Islam or not. Every Muslim, man or woman, young or old, rich or poor, at some point in their lives will have to consciously choose Islam. Islam does not enter into your heart through books; it enters into your heart through the decree of Allah. You can go overseas to study, but if you carry this kind of cynicism in your heart, this will be an obstacle to your growth.

            You are trying to grasp the reality of your existence, but are you really? It's not as difficult as you have made it. Just open the Qur'an. Allah tells us that we're here simply to worship Him. That is the reality of our existence. Everything we do can become an act of worship if we do it with the right intention. Your career, marriage, your building for this life, in reality, is also for the next life. Don't we do everything, whether monumental or mundane, for the sake of Allah? This is the purpose of life. The material possessions of this life don't count for anything once we're gone, but our deeds do come with us. And our deeds will speak for us or against us on the Day of Reckoning. Nothing is in vain. Allah says, "So their Lord accepted their prayers, (saying): I will not suffer to be lost the work of any of you whether male or female. You proceed one from another..." (Qur'an 3:195).

            What right do you have to end the life Allah has given you? You don't think He exists? Just look at yourself! Who gave you and me and everyone else in this world everything we have, from the air we breathe, to the water we drink, to the blood that runs through our veins. Your life is not yours to take. Be grateful to be alive. Be grateful that you can go out and by Allah's grace change someone's life for the better right now. Go out and serve humanity. Feed a hungry person. Help a child to read. Allah has given us countless opportunities to worship Him. Please avail yourself of what Allah has given you.



            Also, please see this link on SunniPath. It may be of benefit to you:

            Depression: "Truly, it is by the Remembrance of Allah that hearts find rest."

            http://www.sunnipath.com/resources/Q...A00000764.aspx



            And, once again, please seek the counsel of a reliable scholar or a Muslim therapist. You need someone to talk to.

            And Allah knows best. And Allah alone gives success.

            Umm Salah (Zaynab Ansari)

            www.sunnipath.com

            --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

            This is advice that is generally applicable to your case, given the details mentioned. However, we highly recommend--in all such cases--that one seek the counsel of a reliable local scholar or counselor.
            I dont understand faqir! Are you talking about your own state of mind and condition or is this post an answer to somebody elses situation?? :confused:
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            • #7
              The latter. Alhamdolillah.
              www.marifah.info

              Wahhabis Refuted
              Ash'aris

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              • #8
                Originally posted by faqir
                The latter. Alhamdolillah.
                Alhumdolillah,Jazakallah, for clearing that up Faqir. :)
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                • #9
                  Asalamu alaykum,

                  A noble upright sister [who shall remain anonymous] sent me a pm that brought tears to my eyes. May Allah reward her abundantly for her sincere intention and kind words. I seek her forgiveness in not clarifying that the original post is not about me. I had posted this article here as I know that there are some on this forum who are undergoing similar difficulties. Once again, please accept my apologies for not clarifying this earlier.

                  May Allah ease the suffering of all those who are going through difficult times.

                  Wasalam.
                  www.marifah.info

                  Wahhabis Refuted
                  Ash'aris

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by faqir
                    Asalamu alaykum,

                    A noble upright sister [who shall remain anonymous] sent me a pm that brought tears to my eyes. May Allah reward her abundantly for her sincere intention and kind words. I seek her forgiveness in not clarifying that the original post is not about me. I had posted this article here as I know that there are some on this forum who are undergoing similar difficulties. Once again, please accept my apologies for not clarifying this earlier.

                    May Allah ease the suffering of all those who are going through difficult times.

                    Wasalam.
                    Ameen!!

                    As Allah says in the Noble Quran- Ash Sharh (94) verse 4-5:

                    "Lo with hardship there is Ease, with hardship there is ease"
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                    • #11
                      [Oh, and just to clarify one point.
                      I do not believe in any sort of eternal HELL.


                      I was just wondering, if you dont believe in eternal hell, then whats to stop you from killing yourself? Is it because you think you will not enter heaven if you do commit suicide...and if you dont enter heaven then where will you go? And if you only go to hell for a certain amount of time after you have served your punishment...then where do you go afterwards, after you get out of hell? Do you go to heaven, and if not...then where is it you would go?
                      So again, without the fear of eternal hell, why not just do yourself in and get it over with...cuz with that logic, you wont go to hell..and if you do it wont be for long anyway....

                      Many times the Quraan mentions that hell is forever...even the Bible mentions it....
                      Ayat 2:257,
                      Allah is the Protector of those who have faith: from the depths of darkness He will lead them forth into light. Of those who reject faith the patrons are the evil ones: from light they will lead them forth into the depths of darkness. They will be companions of the fire, to dwell therein (For ever).

                      ayat 2:81
                      Nay, those who seek gain in evil, and are girt round by their sins,- they are companions of the Fire: Therein shall they abide (For ever).
                      The Bible teaches that hell is as eternal as heaven (Matthew 25:41-46).

                      So what faith are you stan?
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                      • #12
                        I think he is an agnostic?
                        www.marifah.info

                        Wahhabis Refuted
                        Ash'aris

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