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taking verbal abuse from husband

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  • taking verbal abuse from husband

    Is taking verbal abuse from your MUSLIM husband okay?

    I know man people have played the role of dutiful devoted wife to their husbands while their husbands verbally assault them all the time and they think its okay.

    I was at a friend's birthday party. Her mom had made delicious home cooked food. Her husband came back from office and as soon as he tasted the food, he starts scolding his wife that food is too salty. I mean the way he's talking to her is unbelievable. It's abuse. His lecture lasts 30 minutes while his wife quietly and silently listens. Then he gets up and leave. There is no other angle to view this, purely abuse.

    My friend says he has confronted his mom several times but her response is " in Islam, there is reward for withstanding abuse "

    I'm sorry, what? This is a common trend among women born in 50s/60s. why does this type of thinking exist?

    ISLAM does not allow anyone to be abusive and as far as I can tell, one should raise their voice against abuse.
    Why are muslim men generally so hot blooded?

    How can I tell this woman that she needs to stand up for her rights??

  • #2
    Alot of the time the women from 50 60s were taught more culture less islam and were taught to be obedient which isnt a bad thing but they were taken advantage of by men leadng to them being domesticaly abused or shouted at alot

    Not all men are like this
    dont generalise

    teach her the islamic rights she has in marriage teach her how the prophet :saw: and his wives were in good times and disputes
    she can then teach her husband and hope for him to change
    if that doesnt work she should speak to family alongside husband
    if that doesnt work speak to scholars alongside husband
    if that doesnt work she had to evaluate her marriage and see is it worth being in


    • #3
      I doubt anything you say is going to change the situation.

      Some women are ingrained with the belief that it's honourable for them to just shut up and put up, no matter what. On top of it, they try to justify this sick mentality quoting ayats and ahadith out of context.

      I hold the victims who bear abuse silently - be it physical, verbal or mental equally responsible. When they do not stand up & take a stance, they give those perpetrators of abuse the green light to abuse them further.

      When you witness something wrong, it's time to put your foot down and make it clear that ill-treatment and bad behaviour will not be tolerated at any cost. If you keep making excuses for the wrongdoer and meekly tolerating abuse, then you're only making life miserable for yourself.

      Staying with someone that doesn't respect and appreciate you isn't loyalty, it's stupidity.


      • #4
        Those women have no common sense. Back in the day many of them didn't have a way out of such marriages, but to have this mentality in our times while living here is pure stupidity.
        شَكَوْتُ إلَى وَكِيعٍ سُوءَ حِفْظِي
        فَأرْشَدَنِي إلَى تَرْكِ المعَاصي
        وَأخْبَرَنِي بأَنَّ العِلْمَ نُورٌ
        ونورُ الله لا يهدى لعاصي



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