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Muslims not lowering their gaze in the cemetery. Also decorating graves with flowers.

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    Muslims not lowering their gaze in the cemetery. Also decorating graves with flowers.

    Sadly, my father passed away this year in March. I usually go to the cemetery with my family to visit him. Obviously I wear the hijab and cover completely when going out.

    However (I am actually getting really annoyed by this now) Muslim men (younger/old), despite being in the cemetery seem to stare and smile at women, who are just there to pay respects to their loved ones.

    Its wrong to stare at a woman in general, but actually doing this in a cemetery as well. Really now? have Muslims become that shameless now, that they have to do this here as well?

    It takes me an hour to get there by car, and I just get irritated because when I went to get water, some man (he was wearing Islamic clothes, and looked a bit older, was staring/watching me until I got to my fathers grave) he was with two small children as well, and when he went back into his car, he was still watching me.

    On another occasion, some guy was staring at me, and went next to me to smile/stare at me more. I completely ignored him, but its just things like that which I despise.

    Also, I have noted that (especially in my area) people seem to be planting flowers/plants all over the graves, making it look like a garden.

    Its fine if you want to put a few flower here and there, but not so many that it becomes difficult to maintain. I feel like our community likes to show off with how well they have decorated the grave.

    Its nice that people still care to a certain extent, but these two things which I have described above, makes it very uncomfortable for me to go there, which is sad.

    Has anyone else experienced this?

    #2
    Re: Muslims not lowering their gaze in the cemetery. Also decorating graves with flow

    Men trying to pick up women at a Janazah?

    that's super classy.

    I have no information on flowers and funerals.sorry

    Comment


      #3
      Re: Muslims not lowering their gaze in the cemetery. Also decorating graves with flow

      Putting flowers on graves is bid'ah sis it is a newly invented matter and probably even imitating the kuffar

      And have men become that shameless? Yes, i find it upsetting and i want to apologise in their name sis but yes, they have.

      (Many sisters too with the modern hijab and all that so im not calling out brothers but this is a matter regarding them)
      يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

      O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

      Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

      Comment


        #4
        Re: Muslims not lowering their gaze in the cemetery. Also decorating graves with flow

        Originally posted by Samsandman View Post
        Men trying to pick up women at a Janazah?

        that's super classy.

        I have no information on flowers and funerals.sorry

        Its really disgusting to be honest. Its bad enough on the streets and other public places. However, I always considered the cemetery a place, where you would leave all those things, and pay respect to loved ones who passed away. A true place of self-reflection. Unfortunately, some Muslim men still have no shame, even when death is literally in front of them.

        Comment


          #5
          Re: Muslims not lowering their gaze in the cemetery. Also decorating graves with flow

          Originally posted by aynina View Post
          Putting flowers on graves is bid'ah sis it is a newly invented matter and probably even imitating the kuffar

          And have men become that shameless? Yes, i find it upsetting and i want to apologise in their name sis but yes, they have.

          I know, I would prefer not to, but I am not joking, all of the graves around my fathers, is full of flowers and plants, which also makes the place look messy. It also annoys me because Muslims are not supposed to be decorating the graves like that. Actually, the christian graves on the other side do not have this, very much at all. Its just our area. I feel like complaining about this.

          Comment


            #6
            Re: Muslims not lowering their gaze in the cemetery. Also decorating graves with flow

            Originally posted by aynina View Post
            Putting flowers on graves is bid'ah sis it is a newly invented matter and probably even imitating the kuffar

            And have men become that shameless? Yes, i find it upsetting and i want to apologise in their name sis but yes, they have.

            (Many sisters too with the modern hijab and all that so im not calling out brothers but this is a matter regarding them)
            putting flowers on graves is certainly not a "newly" invented matter as it' has been going on for more than 10,000years (see link below) and possibly as long as 50,000 years and bid'ah only applies to matters of ibadah.

            http://insider.si.edu/2013/09/28455/


            IF the people believe that putting flowers on the grave is an act of piety or worship it is certainly haram but with that said I would still be hesitant to do it myself.

            I'm not not sure if flowers on graves is 100% halal or haram,it's a na answer for someone with more knowledge than me to give

            Comment


              #7
              Re: Muslims not lowering their gaze in the cemetery. Also decorating graves with flow

              Originally posted by R123 View Post
              I know, I would prefer not to, but I am not joking, all of the graves around my fathers, is full of flowers and plants, which also makes the place look messy. It also annoys me because Muslims are not supposed to be decorating the graves like that. Actually, the christian graves on the other side do not have this, very much at all. Its just our area. I feel like complaining about this.
              Yea but maybe they have a different understanding of the deen, like sufis love shrines and all that, i mean its still haram for them to do it but if you mention it you will have all these people angry lol

              You could just cut their plants that grow over ur fathers grave,but the bigger problem is that u feel uncomfortable because they stare, and you can't really approaxh the men to ask them to lower their gaze :/ it might be worse
              يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

              O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

              Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

              Comment


                #8
                Re: Muslims not lowering their gaze in the cemetery. Also decorating graves with flow

                Originally posted by Samsandman View Post
                putting flowers on graves is certainly not a "newly" invented matter as it' has been going on for more than 10,000years (see link below) and possibly as long as 50,000 years and bid'ah only applies to matters of ibadah.

                http://insider.si.edu/2013/09/28455/


                IF the people believe that putting flowers on the grave is an act of piety or worship it is certainly haram but with that said I would still be hesitant to do it myself.

                I'm not not sure if flowers on graves is 100% halal or haram,it's a na answer for someone with more knowledge than me to give
                Brother bid'ah doesnt mean something thats attributed to 2017n it means anything unislamic done in islam, if the prophet never put flowers on graves nor did the sahaba why would you?
                يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

                O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

                Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: Muslims not lowering their gaze in the cemetery. Also decorating graves with flow

                  I did say I would be hesitant to do it and bida'ah only applies to act of worship.

                  When the sahaba went from wearing sandals with one strap to wearing sandals with two strap nobody decried it as being bida;ah as it had nothing to do with worship.

                  IF the person has some mistaken belief about WHY the flowers are put on the grave and believes that it is an act of piety or an act of worship then I'm 100% sure it is an act of bida'ah.

                  the reason I personally would be hesitant to put flowers on a grave is as it may be too close to imitating the kuffar.

                  But again I will state I personally cannot say whether this is halal or haram as I do not have the required knowledge to say with certaintly,i'm just a guy

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: Muslims not lowering their gaze in the cemetery. Also decorating graves with flow

                    Originally posted by Samsandman View Post
                    I did say I would be hesitant to do it and bida'ah only applies to act of worship.

                    When the sahaba went from wearing sandals with one strap to wearing sandals with two strap nobody decried it as being bida;ah as it had nothing to do with worship.

                    IF the person has some mistaken belief about WHY the flowers are put on the grave and believes that it is an act of piety or an act of worship then I'm 100% sure it is an act of bida'ah.

                    the reason I personally would be hesitant to put flowers on a grave is as it may be too close to imitating the kuffar.

                    But again I will state I personally cannot say whether this is halal or haram as I do not have the required knowledge to say with certaintly,i'm just a guy
                    https://islamqa.info/en/48958
                    يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

                    O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

                    Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: Muslims not lowering their gaze in the cemetery. Also decorating graves with flow

                      Originally posted by aynina View Post
                      As much as I respect that sheikh,May Allah awj have mercy on him, there are problems with that fatwa along with some others he has put out in his later years but no one is perfect.

                      I'm still not saying that flowers on graves is permissible but the evidence put forward in that fatwa does not deal directly with the issue at hand.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: Muslims not lowering their gaze in the cemetery. Also decorating graves with flow

                        Originally posted by Samsandman View Post
                        As much as I respect that sheikh,May Allah awj have mercy on him, there are problems with that fatwa along with some others he has put out in his later years but no one is perfect.

                        I'm still not saying that flowers on graves is permissible but the evidence put forward in that fatwa does not deal directly with the issue at hand.
                        Shaikh ibn baz?
                        يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

                        O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

                        Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Re: Muslims not lowering their gaze in the cemetery. Also decorating graves with flow

                          Yes,Sheikh Ibn Baz.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Re: Muslims not lowering their gaze in the cemetery. Also decorating graves with flow

                            Originally posted by Samsandman View Post
                            Yes,Sheikh Ibn Baz.
                            Hm
                            يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

                            O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

                            Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: Muslims not lowering their gaze in the cemetery. Also decorating graves with flow

                              The solution is pretty simple, wear niqab. Then no one will have anything to stare at.
                              شَكَوْتُ إلَى وَكِيعٍ سُوءَ حِفْظِي
                              فَأرْشَدَنِي إلَى تَرْكِ المعَاصي
                              وَأخْبَرَنِي بأَنَّ العِلْمَ نُورٌ
                              ونورُ الله لا يهدى لعاصي

                              Comment

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