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What is your Kahf (cave aka personal retreat)

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  • aelmo
    replied
    Re: What is your Kahf (cave aka personal retreat)

    Originally posted by Dr. Blitz View Post
    Complete isolation was never recommended by anyone, just periodic like mentioned previously following in the footsteps of some of the salaaf and RasulAllah (swas)
    Good, so we are in agreement :)

    Leave a comment:


  • Dr. Blitz
    replied
    Re: What is your Kahf (cave aka personal retreat)

    Complete isolation was never recommended by anyone, just periodic like mentioned previously following in the footsteps of some of the salaaf and RasulAllah (swas)

    Originally posted by aelmo View Post
    I know Allah and his angels are with me, but it doesn't hurt to talk to someone face to face every now and then.

    Leave a comment:


  • Kya
    replied
    Re: What is your Kahf (cave aka personal retreat)

    Riverwalk - the water and I have deep connection but we can never be together for I don't know how to swim but I admire its beauty from close. The way waves move and splash across the concrete, the way wind blows and the mist in the air. All my worries become small compared to the waves of the water. Wish I had ocean near me. The waves are massive there but I have lake and I will take that. I also love the people (strangers) doing their own thing. Some are with kids, while others visit with their elderly parents, others are enjoying ice cream while another group is running/biking. I love the energy.

    sometimes when I am tired after work, I stop by the riverwalk. take a quick stroll, maybe a nap on those lounge chair & get my energy up before I head home

    Leave a comment:


  • aelmo
    replied
    Re: What is your Kahf (cave aka personal retreat)

    Originally posted by Dr. Blitz View Post
    Sister you should never feel lonely. Allah Az-Zawajal and His angels are always with you. "For him (each person), there are angels in succession, before and behind him. They guard him by the command of Allah.” [13:10-11]

    I don't tell people the mistakes they make I just avoid that place. You are absolutely right, people might not understand you are trying to help them. I've found in several hadiths where it states one should correct the ones next to him in salaah when mistakes are noticed (Also reinforced by Imam Ahmed Bin Hanbal in Kitabus Salaat). There are two different stream of instructions, one saying one should not show off while giving sadakah and other stating one must help others so it is indeed a delicate balance.
    I know Allah and his angels are with me, but it doesn't hurt to talk to someone face to face every now and then.

    Leave a comment:


  • Dr. Blitz
    replied
    Re: What is your Kahf (cave aka personal retreat)

    Trying to do the same to my room after I accidentally converted it to a place of stress during school years. Everytime I step in I get stressed out even tho there is nothing stressfull going on at that moment lol. InshaAllah lots of Qur'an recitation will change it or else I might have to end up changing house.


    Originally posted by LailaTheMuslim View Post
    My sisters bedroom. I used to read Qur'an a lot in her room, do salaat and revise there too. It was like a mini house for me.

    Leave a comment:


  • LailaTheMuslim
    replied
    Re: What is your Kahf (cave aka personal retreat)

    My sisters bedroom. I used to read Qur'an a lot in her room, do salaat and revise there too. It was like a mini house for me.

    Leave a comment:


  • Dr. Blitz
    replied
    Re: What is your Kahf (cave aka personal retreat)

    Sister you should never feel lonely. Allah Az-Zawajal and His angels are always with you. "For him (each person), there are angels in succession, before and behind him. They guard him by the command of Allah.” [13:10-11]

    I don't tell people the mistakes they make I just avoid that place. You are absolutely right, people might not understand you are trying to help them. I've found in several hadiths where it states one should correct the ones next to him in salaah when mistakes are noticed (Also reinforced by Imam Ahmed Bin Hanbal in Kitabus Salaat). There are two different stream of instructions, one saying one should not show off while giving sadakah and other stating one must help others so it is indeed a delicate balance.

    Originally posted by aelmo View Post
    Well for a while I felt like I was the only person in my life who cared the most about islam. The people around me thought I was being very excessive because things like the doubts I had about food (whether it was halal or not). So I kept to myself and that was fine for a while. But after that I just started to distract myself with useless things to fill the void of loneliness that I felt for not having anyone who understood me around me and that isolation ended up making me loose that strong connection I had with Allah because all I could ever think about was how lonely I was. I didn't become less diligent with practicing Islam but I feel like that connection has weakened. I've been working through it to try to bring it back but its still a work in progress. Well that was my experience anyway, it might not happen to you.
    I understand what you mean about people misunderstanding you. I generally don't start telling people what they are doing is wrong. I just let my actions speak for themselves. People might pick up on the things that you do differently. I know that when people go and tell other people that they are wrong they get mad and then you get in fights and then people will never change.

    Leave a comment:


  • Dr. Blitz
    replied
    Re: What is your Kahf (cave aka personal retreat)

    Nice! Sea beaches have always had that calming effect on me.

    On a side note, there is this uplifting energy that I've felt when visiting beaches and the same experience was felt while visiting waterfalls and Masjid Al Haram in Makkah as well as Madinah. I'm not the only one in boat I know tho the reason has yet to be discerned. My non muslim friends in the west attributed ions for the waterfall. Maybe inhalation of mist (common to all 4 situations)..idk lol Allahu alam.

    Originally posted by eesa the kiwi View Post
    There is a beach called glinks gully where my grandfather lived when he was alive. Love that place

    Haven't been for a couple of years it's a long drive away but that's like home to me.

    Leave a comment:


  • abu_hakeem
    replied
    Re: What is your Kahf (cave aka personal retreat)

    nature walks :o

    Leave a comment:


  • aelmo
    replied
    Re: What is your Kahf (cave aka personal retreat)

    Originally posted by Dr. Blitz View Post
    Why would you be "scattered brain" because of isolation? Isolation helps consolidate an individual, helps them realize and reflect on things they didn't have the time for before and gain insight. This is why throughout history people have preferred isolation and an ascetic life including RasulAllah (swas), Imam Ahmed Hanbal Ash Shaibani (rahimullah) etc. However, I agree with everything else you said. One way to demonstrate shukr is to spread whatever Allah (swt) has given us, whether that be knowledge, money or common sense- this is what I've realized is a part of sadakah. The problem lies in people and their sheer unwillingness to change and stick to their old ways and partly in my inabilities and shortcomings (because I do not hold a degree in Islamic studies from a reputed institution yet, but soon InshaAllah) but cannot complain Alhamdulillah I'm happy with what I have.

    There's a problem with talking with people- You either have to immerse in them fully or stay away. What I've felt personally is that if u talk to a few and they misunderstand you they can spread bad words about you which you have no way of rectifying if u don't talk to others.
    Well for a while I felt like I was the only person in my life who cared the most about islam. The people around me thought I was being very excessive because things like the doubts I had about food (whether it was halal or not). So I kept to myself and that was fine for a while. But after that I just started to distract myself with useless things to fill the void of loneliness that I felt for not having anyone who understood me around me and that isolation ended up making me loose that strong connection I had with Allah because all I could ever think about was how lonely I was. I didn't become less diligent with practicing Islam but I feel like that connection has weakened. I've been working through it to try to bring it back but its still a work in progress. Well that was my experience anyway, it might not happen to you.
    I understand what you mean about people misunderstanding you. I generally don't start telling people what they are doing is wrong. I just let my actions speak for themselves. People might pick up on the things that you do differently. I know that when people go and tell other people that they are wrong they get mad and then you get in fights and then people will never change.

    Leave a comment:


  • eesa the kiwi
    replied
    Re: What is your Kahf (cave aka personal retreat)

    There is a beach called glinks gully where my grandfather lived when he was alive. Love that place

    Haven't been for a couple of years it's a long drive away but that's like home to me.

    Leave a comment:


  • Dr. Blitz
    replied
    Re: What is your Kahf (cave aka personal retreat)

    Why would you be "scattered brain" because of isolation? Isolation helps consolidate an individual, helps them realize and reflect on things they didn't have the time for before and gain insight. This is why throughout history people have preferred isolation and an ascetic life including RasulAllah (swas), Imam Ahmed Hanbal Ash Shaibani (rahimullah) etc. However, I agree with everything else you said. One way to demonstrate shukr is to spread whatever Allah (swt) has given us, whether that be knowledge, money or common sense- this is what I've realized is a part of sadakah. The problem lies in people and their sheer unwillingness to change and stick to their old ways and partly in my inabilities and shortcomings (because I do not hold a degree in Islamic studies from a reputed institution yet, but soon InshaAllah) but cannot complain Alhamdulillah I'm happy with what I have.

    There's a problem with talking with people- You either have to immerse in them fully or stay away. What I've felt personally is that if u talk to a few and they misunderstand you they can spread bad words about you which you have no way of rectifying if u don't talk to others.

    Originally posted by aelmo View Post
    You see in theory I am sure that would be a really good plan, I genuinely wish that I could do that. But often times I don't realize I wasted my entire day until I already wasted a couple days. I also studied English in university, and was literally taught to look into and theorize about EVERYTHING. Its so ingrained in me now that I don't even realize that I am overworking my brain.
    As for what distracts me, its a lot of things. But the way I work through it is that I try to write about things that I wouldn't normally think about and I feel like that helps me not obsess over everything else.

    Also I think that you shouldn't turn yourself away from people even if they are irritating. I used to be surrounded by people like the ones you are describing and I told myself that I would rather have my religion then friends and that really made me struggle. I am so scatter brained now because of that decision. I think that you should let people know the type of person that you are and if they have any shame then they will improve their ways. Don't turn yourself away from people who you see need help. You are supposed to be patient and hope that your influence can help them become better Muslims.

    Leave a comment:


  • aelmo
    replied
    Re: What is your Kahf (cave aka personal retreat)

    Originally posted by Dr. Blitz View Post
    Interesting. Since you like writing and are distracted often perhaps you can create a method for self evaluation. This would fall under writing, in the form of a formula that you can input values everyday to estimate your productivity level for that day. Eg 1 point for 1 hour of professional study, 1 point for 1 hour of talking to neighbors/family about Islam, 1 point for x amount of sadakah, etc. You can quantify the progress and visualize it over time as a graph of productivity over time which can have subsets of graphs eg for professional development, ibadah etc. And the days productivity decline you can simply identity the triggers and avoid. Just a thought..

    Also depends on what kinda distraction you are exposed to. For me its people, rather unproductive people and munafiqs in real life (not internet), so isolation works perfect.
    You see in theory I am sure that would be a really good plan, I genuinely wish that I could do that. But often times I don't realize I wasted my entire day until I already wasted a couple days. I also studied English in university, and was literally taught to look into and theorize about EVERYTHING. Its so ingrained in me now that I don't even realize that I am overworking my brain.
    As for what distracts me, its a lot of things. But the way I work through it is that I try to write about things that I wouldn't normally think about and I feel like that helps me not obsess over everything else.

    Also I think that you shouldn't turn yourself away from people even if they are irritating. I used to be surrounded by people like the ones you are describing and I told myself that I would rather have my religion then friends and that really made me struggle. I am so scatter brained now because of that decision. I think that you should let people know the type of person that you are and if they have any shame then they will improve their ways. Don't turn yourself away from people who you see need help. You are supposed to be patient and hope that your influence can help them become better Muslims.

    Leave a comment:


  • Dr. Blitz
    replied
    Re: What is your Kahf (cave aka personal retreat)

    Interesting. Since you like writing and are distracted often perhaps you can create a method for self evaluation. This would fall under writing, in the form of a formula that you can input values everyday to estimate your productivity level for that day. Eg 1 point for 1 hour of professional study, 1 point for 1 hour of talking to neighbors/family about Islam, 1 point for x amount of sadakah, etc. You can quantify the progress and visualize it over time as a graph of productivity over time which can have subsets of graphs eg for professional development, ibadah etc. And the days productivity decline you can simply identity the triggers and avoid. Just a thought..

    Also depends on what kinda distraction you are exposed to. For me its people, rather unproductive people and munafiqs in real life (not internet), so isolation works perfect.


    Originally posted by aelmo View Post
    I think writing is great. I get very distracted and tend to get lost in my thoughts a lot. But when I write I can focus on one thing and that helps me control my brain that seems to go in a hundred different directions at once. Its like my own personal form of therapy. On days that I write I find that I can focus more when I pray. Its also very fun.

    But btw I agree with you, driving is awesome for this.

    Leave a comment:


  • aelmo
    replied
    Re: What is your Kahf (cave aka personal retreat)

    I think writing is great. I get very distracted and tend to get lost in my thoughts a lot. But when I write I can focus on one thing and that helps me control my brain that seems to go in a hundred different directions at once. Its like my own personal form of therapy. On days that I write I find that I can focus more when I pray. Its also very fun.

    But btw I agree with you, driving is awesome for this.

    Leave a comment:

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