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  • struggling

    salam aleikom everyone

    Dont know if this is the right section for this but...so yeah my life has been pretty hard the last couple of years and I have periods where I miss prayers, even though I keep thinking about it I just feel so tired and everything feels so heavy for me. Im sure I feel like that due to missing prayers so Why dont I just pray them on time every single one of them?

    I think I have depression, or extremely exhausted from everything..I dont know but that makes it hard for me to get up and do wudhu. And there is so much work Im doing that I find it so hard to "find time for it". I know its ridiculous to think like that. I know better, but still I jjust feel soooo tired. But also so guilty...

    Anyone else struggling with praying on time or making sure you are praying all prayers? I dont really have muslim friends and I feel maybe its easier if I get to know some more muslims and we can encourage and remind eachother ...I think I need a push in the right direction..

  • #2
    Re: struggling

    I have the exact same issue sister with salaat, I don't know why it has become hard with me

    In sha Allah I want to think like this - its only 5 salaat a day, and we have 24 hours in a day. Salaat is not as hard as we make it out to be in our minds.

    May Allah help you sister and bless you with the ability to do the best deeds, ameen
    وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ - 31:19

    And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys."


    أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

    Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


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    • #3
      Re: struggling

      Originally posted by Halolani View Post
      salam aleikom everyone

      Dont know if this is the right section for this but...so yeah my life has been pretty hard the last couple of years and I have periods where I miss prayers, even though I keep thinking about it I just feel so tired and everything feels so heavy for me. Im sure I feel like that due to missing prayers so Why dont I just pray them on time every single one of them?

      I think I have depression, or extremely exhausted from everything..I dont know but that makes it hard for me to get up and do wudhu. And there is so much work Im doing that I find it so hard to "find time for it". I know its ridiculous to think like that. I know better, but still I jjust feel soooo tired. But also so guilty...

      Anyone else struggling with praying on time or making sure you are praying all prayers? I dont really have muslim friends and I feel maybe its easier if I get to know some more muslims and we can encourage and remind eachother ...I think I need a push in the right direction..
      :wswrwb:

      It's Shaytaan and your nafs playing tricks on you, nothing more. Shaytaan will tell you to relax and skip a prayer or 2. If your nafs are being engaged in a 'fun' activity (engrossed in TV or whatever hobby), then it makes the job easier. If Shaytaan can't come right with getting you to skip it, he will make you delay until the time for that Salaah ceases.

      Do not let the work of the Dunya obstruct your Deen. Whenever the work is too much or your nafs/Shaytaan attempt to stop you from Salaah, just stand up and go pray it.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: struggling

        Originally posted by Halolani View Post
        salam aleikom everyone

        Dont know if this is the right section for this but...so yeah my life has been pretty hard the last couple of years and I have periods where I miss prayers, even though I keep thinking about it I just feel so tired and everything feels so heavy for me. Im sure I feel like that due to missing prayers so Why dont I just pray them on time every single one of them?

        I think I have depression, or extremely exhausted from everything..I dont know but that makes it hard for me to get up and do wudhu. And there is so much work Im doing that I find it so hard to "find time for it". I know its ridiculous to think like that. I know better, but still I jjust feel soooo tired. But also so guilty...

        Anyone else struggling with praying on time or making sure you are praying all prayers? I dont really have muslim friends and I feel maybe its easier if I get to know some more muslims and we can encourage and remind eachother ...I think I need a push in the right direction..
        Sister

        Keep making the effort to do ablution and offer salah. Don't give up until you offer salah regularly, which is 5 times a day. It is the first question Allah will ask you on Judgement Day, about your salah.

        On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) from the Prophet (ﷺ), who said: Allah (the Mighty and Sublime) says: The first of his actions for which a servant of Allah will be held accountable on the Day of Resurrection will be his prayers. If they are in order, then he will have prospered and succeeded: and if they are wanting, then he will have failed and lost. If there is something defective in his obligatory prayers, the Lord (glorified and exalted be He) will say: See if My servant has any supererogatory prayers with which may be completed that which was defective in his obligatory prayers. Then the rest of his actions will be judged in like fashion. (At-Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud, an-Nasa'i, Ibn Majah and Ahmad)

        The same for depression. If you are depressed (purely medical issue) you have to make the effort to heal from it, this can start with talking to your doctor

        No one can do this for you, you will have to make that effort yourself. You made this thread, that's a good start.

        Allah would not change a favor which He had bestowed upon a people until they change what is within themselves 8:53
        Last edited by islamlife00; 14-09-17, 10:09 PM. Reason: add hadith
        He has created man from a sperm-drop; and behold this same (man) becomes an open disputer! (16:4)

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: struggling

          Walaikum assalam warahmatullahi wabarakatu,

          I've been thru this. What personally worked for me might not work for everyone but you can always try and give it a go.

          They say aim for the moon and if you miss you will land amongst the stars. People often say there is no point imitating great Imams but matter of fact is when one sets themselves up for small targets like 55% in an exam it is easy for them to fail. Counter argument is setting big goals is setting themselves up for failure. So in the end one needs to find a balance but always have to keep pushing the limits in my opinion.

          - Don't be afraid of missing the fard salah; be afraid of missing the Sunnah salaah. That way your fard will always be intact
          - Increasing your standards make you feel ashamed for missing salaah.
          - Prioritize deen over dunya over. Increase taqwa (fear of Allah (swt)). Sometimes we are so carried away by our problems of the dunya that we forget our lives can change in a flash if Allah (swt) wills. I have had so many people around me taken away by road accidents, natural disasters, government induced terrorism, corrupted munafiqs, No longer we may have our house, car, job, family and thus the problems we face now that evolves from them may disappear in an instance. That is how I try to keep myself in check. And I was late to change. Alhamdulillah I found the time to change. Change now before its too late, sister. Don't be afraid of any physical and mental limitations- Allah Rabbul Alamin can heal the broken and can bring the dead back to alive. If you take one step towards him He will take 3 steps towards you.

          Hope this helped.


          Originally posted by Halolani View Post
          salam aleikom everyone

          Dont know if this is the right section for this but...so yeah my life has been pretty hard the last couple of years and I have periods where I miss prayers, even though I keep thinking about it I just feel so tired and everything feels so heavy for me. Im sure I feel like that due to missing prayers so Why dont I just pray them on time every single one of them?

          I think I have depression, or extremely exhausted from everything..I dont know but that makes it hard for me to get up and do wudhu. And there is so much work Im doing that I find it so hard to "find time for it". I know its ridiculous to think like that. I know better, but still I jjust feel soooo tired. But also so guilty...

          Anyone else struggling with praying on time or making sure you are praying all prayers? I dont really have muslim friends and I feel maybe its easier if I get to know some more muslims and we can encourage and remind eachother ...I think I need a push in the right direction..
          Ask yourself why you were created. Do not let society distract you from seeking the truth.
          Sahih International, 63:3 (Surah Al-Munafiqun)
          That is because they believed, and then they disbelieved; so their hearts were sealed over, and they do not understand.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: struggling

            Originally posted by LailaTheMuslim View Post
            I have the exact same issue sister with salaat, I don't know why it has become hard with me

            In sha Allah I want to think like this - its only 5 salaat a day, and we have 24 hours in a day. Salaat is not as hard as we make it out to be in our minds.

            May Allah help you sister and bless you with the ability to do the best deeds, ameen
            Thank you sister, I will try to think about it in that way

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: struggling

              Originally posted by horizon View Post
              :wswrwb:

              It's Shaytaan and your nafs playing tricks on you, nothing more. Shaytaan will tell you to relax and skip a prayer or 2. If your nafs are being engaged in a 'fun' activity (engrossed in TV or whatever hobby), then it makes the job easier. If Shaytaan can't come right with getting you to skip it, he will make you delay until the time for that Salaah ceases.

              Do not let the work of the Dunya obstruct your Deen. Whenever the work is too much or your nafs/Shaytaan attempt to stop you from Salaah, just stand up and go pray it.
              you are right about that, i should control it and not let it get to me

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: struggling

                Originally posted by islamlife00 View Post
                Sister

                Keep making the effort to do ablution and offer salah. Don't give up until you offer salah regularly, which is 5 times a day. It is the first question Allah will ask you on Judgement Day, about your salah.

                On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) from the Prophet (ﷺ), who said: Allah (the Mighty and Sublime) says: The first of his actions for which a servant of Allah will be held accountable on the Day of Resurrection will be his prayers. If they are in order, then he will have prospered and succeeded: and if they are wanting, then he will have failed and lost. If there is something defective in his obligatory prayers, the Lord (glorified and exalted be He) will say: See if My servant has any supererogatory prayers with which may be completed that which was defective in his obligatory prayers. Then the rest of his actions will be judged in like fashion. (At-Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud, an-Nasa'i, Ibn Majah and Ahmad)

                The same for depression. If you are depressed (purely medical issue) you have to make the effort to heal from it, this can start with talking to your doctor

                No one can do this for you, you will have to make that effort yourself. You made this thread, that's a good start.

                Allah would not change a favor which He had bestowed upon a people until they change what is within themselves 8:53
                thanks sister, very helpful post

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: struggling

                  Originally posted by Dr. Blitz View Post
                  Walaikum assalam warahmatullahi wabarakatu,

                  I've been thru this. What personally worked for me might not work for everyone but you can always try and give it a go.

                  They say aim for the moon and if you miss you will land amongst the stars. People often say there is no point imitating great Imams but matter of fact is when one sets themselves up for small targets like 55% in an exam it is easy for them to fail. Counter argument is setting big goals is setting themselves up for failure. So in the end one needs to find a balance but always have to keep pushing the limits in my opinion.

                  - Don't be afraid of missing the fard salah; be afraid of missing the Sunnah salaah. That way your fard will always be intact
                  - Increasing your standards make you feel ashamed for missing salaah.
                  - Prioritize deen over dunya over. Increase taqwa (fear of Allah (swt)). Sometimes we are so carried away by our problems of the dunya that we forget our lives can change in a flash if Allah (swt) wills. I have had so many people around me taken away by road accidents, natural disasters, government induced terrorism, corrupted munafiqs, No longer we may have our house, car, job, family and thus the problems we face now that evolves from them may disappear in an instance. That is how I try to keep myself in check. And I was late to change. Alhamdulillah I found the time to change. Change now before its too late, sister. Don't be afraid of any physical and mental limitations- Allah Rabbul Alamin can heal the broken and can bring the dead back to alive. If you take one step towards him He will take 3 steps towards you.

                  Hope this helped.
                  thanks brother for the very good advice

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: struggling

                    AsSalaamu Alaikum

                    The more you know about something, the more you can love it. What made the Salah easy for me to love and rest my worries on is finding out the basic meanings of phrases in the Salah. So i'm feeling weak and down, when i reach the Ruku in Salah "Subhana Rabbiyyal adheem" = Glory is for My Lord the Almighty, which reminds me that although i am weak, I have a Lord who has the strength I can rely on. These will help you rely on your Salah as a tool for daily life issues and the larger ones.

                    Subhana Rabbiyyal A'la = Glory is for my Lord the Most High (helping you understand that although you're at a low point right now, your Lord is MOST High but you have said this in Sajdah where we are closest to Allah so this Lord of yours is SO near to you, even while being the Most High).

                    Invest in finding out the small phrases of Salah and begin saying your Salah with meaning. That knowledge will not fail you.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: struggling

                      Originally posted by Halolani View Post
                      salam aleikom everyone

                      Dont know if this is the right section for this but...so yeah my life has been pretty hard the last couple of years and I have periods where I miss prayers, even though I keep thinking about it I just feel so tired and everything feels so heavy for me. Im sure I feel like that due to missing prayers so Why dont I just pray them on time every single one of them?

                      I think I have depression, or extremely exhausted from everything..I dont know but that makes it hard for me to get up and do wudhu. And there is so much work Im doing that I find it so hard to "find time for it". I know its ridiculous to think like that. I know better, but still I jjust feel soooo tired. But also so guilty...

                      Anyone else struggling with praying on time or making sure you are praying all prayers? I dont really have muslim friends and I feel maybe its easier if I get to know some more muslims and we can encourage and remind eachother ...I think I need a push in the right direction..
                      Assalamu Alaykum sister,

                      I agree with the brother above, when you are doing well, do more. And when you are having your down days, it will become easier for you to do the bare minimum.

                      Reflect on death a lot. Not in a morbid way, but death puts everything into perspective, and pushes us to get our acts together. You can read this book mashaAllah: http://ia800605.us.archive.org/1/ite...hiMadnir.a.pdf

                      or go to sunnah.com and search day of resurrection to get hadith about day of judgement.

                      Prayer is a habit. Aim that you are going to pray straight for a month no matter what. After you last a month, it will become easier for you to keep it up. Ask Allah (swt) for help. Make lots of Dua.

                      Whenever time for salah comes, and you feel lazy to get up, maybe listen to a short talk on youtube about salah, or importance of salah. Read up on hadith about salah.

                      Figure out what your mind is saying when it wants to delay or miss prayer. And practice self talk. Remind yourself why you need to pray.

                      Write down somewhere a letter to yourself, of why you need to pray. what will be consequence if you miss prayer? Guilt, depression, low self esteem, feeling unaccomplished, sins, possibly missing out in Jannah, etc. And then write on the opposite side write another letter to yourself explaining the good things tht will happen if you pray. You will be more connected to Allah (swt), feel accomplished, happier, more productive, gaining ajr, your key to Jannah, etc.

                      then whenever you want to miss, read it, inshaAllah.

                      download those habit building apps, that you can track salah with, inshaAllah.

                      Also address your depression inshaAllah.

                      Here is a post I wrote on depression. : http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...=1#post7471185

                      Don't give up sis, inshaAllah you can do it! Instead of beating up yourself, every time you miss salah, regret, repent, do isteghfar, and get back up and make it up. Make a rule for yourself, that if you miss a prayer or two, you WILL make it up before you sleep. That way, missing one prayer won't turn into missing all of them. Be supportive loving and encouraging to your inner child. Give her a pat on the back everytime she prays salah. I think if we were more encouraging of ourselves like we are with others, instead of beating ourselves up, which pushes us to despair, and losing hope, we would inshaAllah do better. Have trust in Allah (swt). He (swt) can make it easy for you. He (swt) never gives you more than you can handle. He (swt) knew what kind of problems we were going to face, and yet He (swt) didn't give us any exception to miss salah. He (swt) is the one who gives ability. So ask Him, and know that because He (swt) asked you to do this, He (swt) also gave you the ability. May Allah (swt) make it easy for you.

                      Comment

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