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Need advice on cutting off bad friends

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  • Need advice on cutting off bad friends

    “You do not do evil to those who do evil to you, but you deal with them with forgiveness and kindness." Sahih al Bukhari

  • #2
    Re: Need advice on cutting off bad friends

    Wa alaikum salam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

    Thank you for your detailed post.

    Good company is very hard to get these days, so even if you can find just one person who can be a true friend, you have enough.

    I suppose you know quite a bit about bad company, and btw, see my signature.

    If you know you do have the 'upper hand' in controlling the company then you should associate with them but minimally, just for the sake of helping them come back to practising Islam, not just for the sake of hanging around.

    It is very easy to fall back if you become like friends again with such people, so know your limits, and what to do.

    Thats just a few things I can say now. Hope that helps.
    “Mix with the noble people, you become one of them; and keep away from evil people so that you protect yourself from their evils.”


    Hadhrat Ali (Radiallahu anhu)

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    • #3
      Re: Need advice on cutting off bad friends

      Thanks for the response. Your right, I think one true friend will be more than enough. Hopefully it could be one of my current muslim friends and the more the merrier. Even though I'm one of the original people from the group, I don't really have the 'upper hand' anymore as I been in Kenya for four years, this is why I fear hanging out with them as I will have little control of whats going on.

      And sorry about the post being so long, it didn't seem that long when I was writing it. I tried to edit to make it shorter but couldn't find any option to do so :/
      “You do not do evil to those who do evil to you, but you deal with them with forgiveness and kindness." Sahih al Bukhari

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      • #4
        Re: Need advice on cutting off bad friends

        Cut off your Muslim friends in that group as well. You can invite them to come to the masjid and stuff with you, but don't go to any of their parties. And if they turn down invitations to the masjid once or twice and try to entice you back into the haraam lifestyle, then just cut them off completely. You have to protect yourself from Hell first, then your family, and then your friends and those around you. So your Iman is the priority here.

        The first thing that you MUST do is to get out of that chat group. Just tell them to remove you from the group. Or change your number or something. And if they ask why they don't see you around and stuff, just say that you're really busy.

        As far as making friends at the masjid, choose one of the masjids that has the most practicing brothers around your age and attend that masjid regularly. Get involved in any events, classes, volunteer opportunities at the masjid so you can get to know people and they can get to know you. If there isn't anything going on at the masjid, then take the initiative and start something. Or go to the masjid with the most programs and events.

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        • #5
          Re: Need advice on cutting off bad friends

          This is gonna be tough, but your right. Idk it doesn't feel right to cut off my muslims friends as well as they are the ones I'm closest to but like you said my imam is the priority. I'll try to do this day one when I get back. Maybe I'll try to have a discussion with them about leaving off these haram things and if they don't then I'll stop hanging out with but will invite them to do good. InshaAllah it works out. I did leave the group chat for a couple months but I was added back cuz I'll be back in the states soon but I don't want to just abruptly leave and cut my non muslim friends off. When I was thinking about how I would cut off my friends I always imagined having a conversation with them and telling them that I don't want to be around all these haram things and kind of explain the situation.

          Thanks for the response. I will definitely do what you suggested about the masjid.

          JazakAllah khair
          “You do not do evil to those who do evil to you, but you deal with them with forgiveness and kindness." Sahih al Bukhari

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          • #6
            Re: Need advice on cutting off bad friends

            Originally posted by Ibn Warsame View Post
            Thanks for the response. Your right, I think one true friend will be more than enough. Hopefully it could be one of my current muslim friends and the more the merrier. Even though I'm one of the original people from the group, I don't really have the 'upper hand' anymore as I been in Kenya for four years, this is why I fear hanging out with them as I will have little control of whats going on.

            And sorry about the post being so long, it didn't seem that long when I was writing it. I tried to edit to make it shorter but couldn't find any option to do so :/
            No, its fine, your post is good, its good to express yourself and whereby we can understand what is happening.

            Yes that would be nice if you became close to one of the muslim friends, I just want to point out that having someone as a close friend depends on how compatible you are, so you do get different levels of friendship, but it will be nice still, at any level, to keep contact with muslims, and you will notice that each one is different.

            Hope you achieve your wishes and to bring deen onto them and da'wah, keep us updated.
            “Mix with the noble people, you become one of them; and keep away from evil people so that you protect yourself from their evils.”


            Hadhrat Ali (Radiallahu anhu)

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            • #7
              Re: Need advice on cutting off bad friends

              If they are your friends then wouldn't you be ok with being honest with them? friends are meant to be understanding...if they turn on you then they were never your friends in the first place so you can find comfort in knowing they never accepted you for YOU.
              Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

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              • #8
                Re: Need advice on cutting off bad friends

                Originally posted by shay5 View Post
                If they are your friends then wouldn't you be ok with being honest with them? friends are meant to be understanding...if they turn on you then they were never your friends in the first place so you can find comfort in knowing they never accepted you for YOU.
                I was talking with my bro today about this, and that's what I'm probably going to do. I expect them to be understanding, but I don't expect them to stop doing haram things so we'll mostly like part ways on good terms.
                “You do not do evil to those who do evil to you, but you deal with them with forgiveness and kindness." Sahih al Bukhari

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