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I haven't talked to my brother for years

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  • AX1300
    replied
    Re: I haven't talked to my brother for years

    Originally posted by TinyTraveller View Post
    We don't hate each other, we have nothing against each other, we sort of just don't talk. We have both forgotten the incident, it happened many years ago. But the fact that we stopped talking has made it awkward. I pray for him and love him, and he likes me too because I talk to my mum and she tells me things he says about me sometimes. My mum probably doesn't know that we don't talk. I don't know how to explain it, we just don't talk and it has become very awkward between us but I pray for him everyday. I am aware that I am in a very specific situation and it can be hard to understand but I wanted to know if I will be punished for being like this. It's sad because we both forgot about the incident and the only reason we don't talk is because of the awkwardness, how can I explain this it gives me so much grief everyday which is why I pray for him. My heart is completely clear from any enmity or rancour towards him.
    That's good to hear.

    What type of relationship do you want with him?

    Maybe this is how it is and should be? some relationships run their course and kind of end up in a neutral type of position - if that makes sense.

    Leave a comment:


  • malleat1
    replied
    Re: I haven't talked to my brother for years

    Brother, take a deep breath, and remember it is ramadhan... there is nothing awkward about telling him "its ramadhan and i feel we will both be punished if we continue like that, so how r u and hows work/studies"...
    Im sure he feels the same, and the person who starts salam is better than the one who responds after... take advantage of ramadhan, good reason to end this...

    Loving him behind the scene is not enough im afraid, the word صلة means to connect... you need to connect with him directly...

    Leave a comment:


  • Layla_
    replied
    Re: I haven't talked to my brother for years

    Assalamu alaykum

    Subhanallah.

    My advice to you is to buy your brother a gift and give it to him, indeed gifts increases the love. You say you are socially awkward and can't go up to him so have the gift delivered in his name and I'm sure after that he will come up to you saying jazakallah khayr. Allah swt loves the muhsin, the one who forgives and joins the bonds. Make sincere dua to Allah subhanahu Wa ta aala to bring you to back together. Use this 'ya mualliful quloob' (oh one who joins hearts) and then proceed to ask Allah subhanahu Wa ta aala to join your hearts together

    The ties of kinship are very very important in Islam wallah I cannot stress it enough. Make sincere dua to Allah subhanahu Wa ta aala, give the gift and if you really cannot go up him directly the least you can do is send your brother a text / email. Your reward is with Allah subhanahu Wa ta aala, may Allah make it easy

    Leave a comment:


  • TinyTraveller
    replied
    Re: I haven't talked to my brother for years

    Originally posted by AX1300 View Post
    Just make peace with him.

    What happened between you and him, whether he was in the wrong, or you were in the wrong, or whether there is a bit of blame both ways, just let it go. Be the bigger man and forgive him, but you don't necessarily have to forget - meaning, if you need to protect yourself from being hurt again in the future there is no harm in setting boundaries.

    I have been in this situation and the reality is, it becomes a hassle not to talk to someone, a burden, it becomes awkward to maintain and its also very difficult for the household in general.

    Eid is the perfect time, or during the last 10 days of Ramadan. Just say 'Salam' and say lets bury the hatchet and move on. Not talking is a major pain and too much trouble to continue. You don't have to be best friends, just be civil and brotherly towards each other.
    We don't hate each other, we have nothing against each other, we sort of just don't talk. We have both forgotten the incident, it happened many years ago. But the fact that we stopped talking has made it awkward. I pray for him and love him, and he likes me too because I talk to my mum and she tells me things he says about me sometimes. My mum probably doesn't know that we don't talk. I don't know how to explain it, we just don't talk and it has become very awkward between us but I pray for him everyday. I am aware that I am in a very specific situation and it can be hard to understand but I wanted to know if I will be punished for being like this. It's sad because we both forgot about the incident and the only reason we don't talk is because of the awkwardness, how can I explain this it gives me so much grief everyday which is why I pray for him. My heart is completely clear from any enmity or rancour towards him.

    Leave a comment:


  • TinyTraveller
    replied
    Re: I haven't talked to my brother for years

    We don't hate each other, we have nothing against each other, we sort of just don't talk. We have both forgotten the incident, it happened many years ago. But the fact that we stopped talking has made it awkward. I pray for him and love him, and he likes me too because I talk to my mum and she tells me things he says about me sometimes. I don't know how to explain it, we just don't talk and it has become very awkward between us but I pray for him everyday. I am aware that I am in a very specific situation and it can be hard to understand but I wanted to know if I will be punished for being like this. It's sad because we both forgot about the incident and the only reason we don't talk is because of the awkwardness, how can I explain this it gives me so much grief everyday which is why I pray for him. My heart is completely clear from any enmity or rancour towards him.

    Leave a comment:


  • AX1300
    replied
    Re: I haven't talked to my brother for years

    Just make peace with him.

    What happened between you and him, whether he was in the wrong, or you were in the wrong, or whether there is a bit of blame both ways, just let it go. Be the bigger man and forgive him, but you don't necessarily have to forget - meaning, if you need to protect yourself from being hurt again in the future there is no harm in setting boundaries.

    I have been in this situation and the reality is, it becomes a hassle not to talk to someone, a burden, it becomes awkward to maintain and its also very difficult for the household in general.

    Eid is the perfect time, or during the last 10 days of Ramadan. Just say 'Salam' and say lets bury the hatchet and move on. Not talking is a major pain and too much trouble to continue. You don't have to be best friends, just be civil and brotherly towards each other.

    Leave a comment:

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