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How do I stop becoming bitter?

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  • #16
    Re: How do I stop becoming bitter?

    :salams

    firstly I feel so touched that you could be so honest about your heart on here allahumma baarik :love: especially how some people are on this forum just waiting to annihilate you

    secondly hmm. I know it's natural but if you get caught in the trap of comparing yourself against others measures you will end up bringing harm to no one but yourself. Everyone has a time and a moment, some people are given and some people are not but what all of this should reinforce is our submission to Him

    so that is the real test right... when you don't get what you want or things don't go your way. Will you still submit? Every heart is the same in ease but in hardship it shows distinction.

    Just imagine if you were a teacher and you had 2 students and one had been working really hard and the other had not. The lazy one passed the exam and the other one did not. As a teacher you would give the results as they are but imagine how your own heart would feel if the other student didn't show anger or become bitter. Just accepted it and said their reliance on Allah swt was stronger than anything else. As a teacher wouldn't your heart be softened by someone like this? So what of Allah swt and He is incomparable to Creation. Just imagine how He would be pleased if creation submitted to Him with no questions. Just trust in His wisdoms.

    Think of Ayub as and how when his health was taken away he could have said I am better than these people and I worship Allah swt more purely than these people so why should I be the one to get sick. But cos of his patience despite matters, this is what elevated his rank

    In terms of ill feeling in our hearts, I agree make dua that Allah swt removes this and to make you content with your own decree. And secondly like the other poster said, if you make dua for them... at first it will feel unnatural and weird but then keep doing it and your ill feeling will disappear too

    anyway if I had asked you this question I know you would have given me some wow allahumma baarik response so answer your own q like it was me asking lol
    ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
    "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
    :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

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    • #17
      Re: How do I stop becoming bitter?

      [MENTION=7414]RaNdOm[/MENTION] :jkk: for ur detailed response. And you're too kind :) you're absolutely right about everything. I'm trying my hardest to be patient (which is really the only cure). Gotta try harder. I don't know I can't lie it still hurts but Alhamdulillah for everything.

      I'm surprised people wish to annihilate lol I don't know why. I don't intent on hurting anyone. Anyway, whoever wishes bad things upon me doesn't need to do too much Duaa I can promise them that

      Jazaki Allah with all my heart

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      • #18
        Re: How do I stop becoming bitter?

        Originally posted by Sarah5 View Post
        @RaNdOm :jkk: for ur detailed response. And you're too kind :) you're absolutely right about everything. I'm trying my hardest to be patient (which is really the only cure). Gotta try harder. I don't know I can't lie it still hurts but Alhamdulillah for everything.

        I'm surprised people wish to annihilate lol I don't know why. I don't intent on hurting anyone. Anyway, whoever wishes bad things upon me doesn't need to do too much Duaa I can promise them that

        Jazaki Allah with all my heart
        :(

        it's because well only Allah swt is Knower of the hearts but u seem soooooo sincere allahumma baarik that I thought yes she will be tested

        but may Allah swt grant you quick relief better than you could have imagined ameen
        ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
        "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
        :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

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        • #19
          Re: How do I stop becoming bitter?

          Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
          :(

          it's because well only Allah swt is Knower of the hearts but u seem soooooo sincere allahumma baarik that I thought yes she will be tested

          but may Allah swt grant you quick relief better than you could have imagined ameen
          Habibi jazaki Allahu khayrun <3333 may Allah ta'ala grant u jannatul firdous. I wanted to rep u but I cannot right now :/

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          • #20
            Re: How do I stop becoming bitter?

            oh boy , womens emotions ....



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            • #21
              Re: How do I stop becoming bitter?

              Truth is, the game was rigged from the start.

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              • #22
                Re: How do I stop becoming bitter?

                Originally posted by quark View Post
                Truth is, the game was rigged from the start.
                Elaborate instead of coming out with the one liners that make u like hmmm *strokes chin but not really sure why I'm stroking*
                ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
                "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
                :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

                Comment


                • #23
                  Re: How do I stop becoming bitter?

                  Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
                  Elaborate instead of coming out with the one liners that make u like hmmm *strokes chin but not really sure why I'm stroking*
                  Basically in the womb....that is when the angels lock in our fate, the good the bad and the ugly....as instructed by Allah swt of course...
                  Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

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                  • #24
                    Re: How do I stop becoming bitter?

                    Originally posted by Sarah5 View Post
                    Assalamu 'alaykum

                    Recently a pretty good friend was saying hi and such after seeing my status. I really do love her and she has such a sweet heart and I can't think of anyone else I'd wish good things for but she's at a place in life right now where I wish I was... I know qadr Allah and he is the most wise, but I can't help but to feel so bitter. It's not just her, it's anyone that I hear about that's doing what I was working on doing. I hate thinking like this but I don't know how to stop. Wallah I don't wish anything bad upon her or anyone really, but it's this feeling like "it should also be me". I rarely ever get jealous, but I don't know, I can't help but to ask myself "what did they do right that I did wrong?".
                    You did nothing wrong, Allah has better plans for you. <<< I know this is easier said than to believe. I too struggle with feeling of bitterness when I see cousins and friends' lives all fall according to plan. They seem to have it easy, and got all they wanted, and I resent them for it, but at the same time, like you said, I don't wish anything bad upon them.

                    At the end of the day, we just have to firmly keep in mind قدّر الله و ما شاء فعل. Once we accept whatever it is that Allah has decreed for us, only then we can truly have peace of mind. Getting there is hard I know, but this is your test, and once you've achieved "acceptance", InshaAllah, you'll find much better opportunities ahead, even some that are completely unexpected.

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                    • #25
                      Re: How do I stop becoming bitter?

                      Originally posted by lonelyniqabi View Post
                      You did nothing wrong, Allah has better plans for you. <<< I know this is easier said than to believe. I too struggle with feeling of bitterness when I see cousins and friends' lives all fall according to plan. They seem to have it easy, and got all they wanted, and I resent them for it, but at the same time, like you said, I don't wish anything bad upon them.

                      At the end of the day, we just have to firmly keep in mind قدّر الله و ما شاء فعل. Once we accept whatever it is that Allah has decreed for us, only then we can truly have peace of mind. Getting there is hard I know, but this is your test, and once you've achieved "acceptance", InshaAllah, you'll find much better opportunities ahead, even some that are completely unexpected.
                      :)
                      Indeed we belong to Allah,
                      and indeed to Him we will return.


                      Quran 2:156

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                      • #26
                        Re: How do I stop becoming bitter?

                        Originally posted by Sarah5 View Post
                        Assalamu 'alaykum

                        Recently a pretty good friend was saying hi and such after seeing my status. I really do love her and she has such a sweet heart and I can't think of anyone else I'd wish good things for but she's at a place in life right now where I wish I was... I know qadr Allah and he is the most wise, but I can't help but to feel so bitter. It's not just her, it's anyone that I hear about that's doing what I was working on doing. I hate thinking like this but I don't know how to stop. Wallah I don't wish anything bad upon her or anyone really, but it's this feeling like "it should also be me". I rarely ever get jealous, but I don't know, I can't help but to ask myself "what did they do right that I did wrong?".
                        عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ قَالَ : قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ : ( الْمُؤْمِنُ الْقَوِيُّ خَيْرٌ وَأَحَبُّ إِلَى اللَّهِ مِنْ الْمُؤْمِنِ الضَّعِيفِ وَفِي كُلٍّ خَيْرٌ احْرِصْ عَلَى مَا يَنْفَعُكَ وَاسْتَعِنْ بِاللَّهِ وَلَا تَعْجَزْ وَإِنْ أَصَابَكَ شَيْءٌ فَلَا تَقُلْ لَوْ أَنِّي فَعَلْتُ كَانَ كَذَا وَكَذَا وَلَكِنْ قُلْ قَدَرُ اللَّهِ وَمَا شَاءَ فَعَلَ فَإِنَّ لَوْ تَفْتَحُ عَمَلَ الشَّيْطَانِ ) . رواه مسلم

                        ِAbu Hurayrah narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer; and in each of them there is goodness.

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                        • #27
                          Re: How do I stop becoming bitter?

                          Nowadays theres a trend of having a 'checklist' of goals that one must achieve by a certain time or age. When things don't go to plan we become bitter.

                          What we forget is that Allah is in control and we will only have something when He wills it

                          Say Alhamdulillah and inshaAllah

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                          • #28
                            Re: How do I stop becoming bitter?

                            Wa Alaykumussalam
                            Try to eradicate that feeling of it 'should also be me', you will get what is written for you, Insha ' Allah
                            Be happy for others, and try the best in your life, to get the most out of it
                            Remember, the journey is already written.. and you can't change this, but you can make the most of it, Insha ' Allah
                            Society puts a ridiculous amount of pressure on us.. the checklist mentioned above ^ i.e degree, high flying job, marriage, kids.
                            Life never pans out how we expect it too, but that's fine :)
                            When you realise you don't have full control it makes you say Alhamdulillah and appreciate your destiny
                            Also everyone is fighting their own internal battles sis.. trust me. No matter how peachy/rosy it seems on the outside, no one's life is perfect.
                            And with Him are the keys of the Ghayb (all that is hidden), none knows them but He. And He knows whatever there is in the land and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but He knows it. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth nor anything fresh or dry, but is written in a Clear Record”
                            [al-An’aam 6:59]

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