Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Lost my father recently. Trying to cope with emotions

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Lost my father recently. Trying to cope with emotions

    As-Salaamu Alaikum, brothers and sisters.

    I recently lost my father. He underwent a heart surgery and could not survive. Because I was abroad, I could not talk to him to give him comfort and confidence before the operation. My mother tried to contact me just before he was being taken to the OT room. So, before entering the OT room, he said, "Ah, I could not talk to my son...."

    By the time I flew back home, he passed away.

    I am feeling quite guilty at the moment and I even said "sorry" standing before his dead-body and grave.

    He was a righteous man and I am really positive that, Inshallah, he is now in Illeen.

    Here are some questions that may seem strange.

    1. Did my father hear when I said "sorry" both before he was buried (when I was standing before his dead-body) and after (when I was standing before his grave)?
    2. If he is in Illeen (where righteous people will stay until the Day of Judgement), is there a way to request Allah to convey my "sorry" to him?

    Kindly let me know of any Quranic or Hadith references to answer the above questions. Thanks.

  • #2
    Re: Lost my father recently. Trying to cope with emotions

    inna-nilahi-wa-ina-rajiun...Sorry for your loss....I don't know whether it is in the Qur'an or Hadeeth but those that have passed on get sent a message on good things their relatives have done....the best thing you can do for your father is the following...

    Abu Hurayrah, rahimahullah, reported that Allah's Messenger, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said:

    "When a human being dies, all of his deeds are terminated except for three types: an ongoing sadaqah, a knowledge (of Islam) from which others benefit, and a righteous child who makes du'a for him."
    Muslim and others

    Prayers for forgiveness offered by both sons and daughters of the deceased bring great benefits, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "A man’s status will be raised in Paradise and he will ask, ‘How did I get here?’ He will be told, ‘By your son’s du’aa’s (prayers) for forgiveness for you." (Reported by Ibn Maajah, no 3660; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 1617)
    You should also know that keeping yourself busy with praying for your father is more important and better for you, and more beneficial to the deceased


    "We record that (deeds) which they have put forward and their traces (that which they have left behind)."
    Al-Qur'an 36:12
    A'ishah, rahimahullah, reported that a man asked Allah's Messenger, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, "My mother had a sudden death, and did not have chance to bequeath anything. Had she been able to do, I think that she would have given sadaqah. Would she or I get any rewards if I give sadaqah on her behalf?" He replied, "Yes! So give sadaqah on her behalf." [Al-Bukhari, Muslim and others]
    “Whatever righteous deeds the righteous son does, his parents will have a reward like his, without it detracting from his reward in the slightest, because their child is part of their striving and earning. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): ‘And that man can have nothing but what he does (good or bad)’ [al-Najm 53:39]. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘The best that a man can benefit from is that which he earns, and his son is also part of his earnings.’ (Narrated by Abu Dawood, 2/108; al-Nasaa’i, 2/211. Narrated and classed as hasan by al-Tirmidhi, 2/287. There is a corroborating report in the hadeeth of ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr, which was narrated by Abu Dawood, Ibn Maajah and Ahmad (2/179, 204, 214) with a hasan isnaad).”

    (Ahkaam al-Janaa’iz, p. 216, 217)
    Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said: Does his soul meet with the souls of his family and relatives? According to the hadeeth narrated from Abu Ayyoob al-Ansaari and others of the salaf, and narrated by Abu Haatim in al-Saheeh from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “When his soul is taken up it is met by the souls who ask him about the living and they say to one another: ‘Let him rest.’ And they say: ‘What happened to So and so?’ And he says: ‘He did a righteous deed.’ They say: ‘What happened to So and so?’ and he says: ‘Has he not come to you?’ They say: ‘No.’ They say: ‘He was taken to the Pit (of Hell).’”
    ...Do not let this eat away at you...do not feel guilt that you never said goodbye or were not there....your father would never want you to live with such guilt and personally it does not benefit you and what you have been put on this earth to do.....
    Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Lost my father recently. Trying to cope with emotions

      Wa alaikum salam brother;

      I am sorry for your loss but insha'allah it is his gain, ameen.

      Dont stress for what was not in your control. You could only do what was humanely possible at the time, so Allah knows..

      The best thing you can do for your father is regular dua. He will benefit so much from it; may Allah swt give him Jannatul Firdaus ameen.

      Another thing is look up to his friends if possible. It is a means of respect for your father and is part of Islam.

      About the dead coming to know what is happening around life - if Allah wishes then He can make them aware of it, thats what we are taught.



      Hadhrat Ali (Radiallahu anhu)

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Lost my father recently. Trying to cope with emotions

        May Allah forgive him and pardon his sins and grant him Jannah.

        Him mentioning you is a good sign. If he was displeased with you, he wouldn't have mentioned you.

        It's sad to read... especially since you feel sad and guilty. But you should remember that he has left the dunya and he is one stage closer to the Day when every person will be engrossed in his or her own affairs: {On the Day a man will flee from his brother -- And his mother and his father -- And his wife and his children -- Every man that day will have concern enough to make him heedless (of others)} Surah 'Abasa

        As for the dead hearing: {… but you cannot hear those who are in graves} [Fatir 35:22]

        Imagine how happy your father would be if this happens to him: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "A man’s status will be raised in Paradise and he will ask, ‘How did I get here?’ He will be told, ‘By your son’s du’aa’s (prayers) for forgiveness for you." (Reported by Ibn Maajah)

        "You should also know that keeping yourself busy with praying for your father is more important and better for you, and more beneficial to the deceased, than thinking about whether he can hear your voice." From the below article.

        What deeds can a person do to benefit the deceased? https://islamqa.info/en/763

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Lost my father recently. Trying to cope with emotions

          Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'un.

          May Allah have mercy upon him and forgive him all of his sins. I hope you are okay.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Lost my father recently. Trying to cope with emotions

            إِنَّا لِلّهِ وَإِنَّـا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعونَ


            when my dad was close to the end, we were all by his bedside. my youngest brother left for fajr salat to the mosque, and when he returned about 20 minutes later, my father had passed. i know it killed him inside thinking he wasn't there and i am sure it bothers him to this day. but ultimately this is the will of Allah swt and a test upon you. stay strong br.
            لآ اِلَهَ اِلّا اللّهُ مُحَمَّدٌ رَسُوُل اللّهِ

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Lost my father recently. Trying to cope with emotions

              use all your emotions to make dua for him

              It's very important, if you do so, your father will most likely be very happy to see the rewards in Qiyaama
              https://www.ummah.com/forum/forum/lo...-qur-an-courseI am just a simple nomad.

              Ephemeral reader

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Lost my father recently. Trying to cope with emotions

                Originally posted by abcd1234 View Post
                As-Salaamu Alaikum, brothers and sisters.

                I recently lost my father. He underwent a heart surgery and could not survive. Because I was abroad, I could not talk to him to give him comfort and confidence before the operation. My mother tried to contact me just before he was being taken to the OT room. So, before entering the OT room, he said, "Ah, I could not talk to my son...."

                By the time I flew back home, he passed away.

                I am feeling quite guilty at the moment and I even said "sorry" standing before his dead-body and grave.

                He was a righteous man and I am really positive that, Inshallah, he is now in Illeen.

                Here are some questions that may seem strange.

                1. Did my father hear when I said "sorry" both before he was buried (when I was standing before his dead-body) and after (when I was standing before his grave)?
                2. If he is in Illeen (where righteous people will stay until the Day of Judgement), is there a way to request Allah to convey my "sorry" to him?

                Kindly let me know of any Quranic or Hadith references to answer the above questions. Thanks.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Lost my father recently. Trying to cope with emotions

                  Ameen. Thanks, sister.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Lost my father recently. Trying to cope with emotions

                    Ameen. Ameen. Thank you brothers and sisters. This forum is filled with love and empathy. Alhamdulillah. May Allah keep our strength of Imaan till the end. Ameen.

                    Comment

                    Collapse

                    Edit this module to specify a template to display.

                    Working...
                    X