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Issues With Masturbation

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  • Issues With Masturbation

    Assalum 3alaykum,

    I'm going to skip the introduction and cut to the chase:

    I have a masturbation problem (as a male).

    I don't know what to do...

    You see, this issue started about two years ago, back when I didn't know it was haram, and we all know how western societies encourage "Sexual Health" and in
    health classes (I'm in grade 9)they say "Masturbation is perfectly healthy and safe", and generally wherever you look there are Fitnah's/ Fitan.
    And only last year I discovered it was haram, so think of it like a smoking addiction. I personally used to feel REALLY bad about doing it, but that feeling of guilt
    is slowly dissipating, and that's what I fear the most. I feel like masturbation is my only problem in my life... I'm part of the gifted program in my school, I'm part of a sports team, I memorize quran every morning, I do a lot of house chores, I'm nice with everyone, I even pray Fajr everyday at the mosque and I enjoy it, I read and write books, I'm learning German, I pray Sunnah's, I make thikr quite frequently... and I feel happy with life. But every time I masturbate I get depressed the rest of the day, and I vow to never do it again, but surprise, surprise, I do it again. So to clear things up, I have made a chart. Also, the masturbation usually happens once every week, after a long internal battle.

    - Pornography --> I've realized that every time I masturbate my phone is with me. But I can't get rid of it because I learn German, do my homework, and a lot more stuff on my phone. Phones, despite their negatives, are a critical part of life these days.
    - Being left alone -->My family is a really busy family, and there's always half of my family traveling (Right now, my mother and my sister are both traveling)

    Remedies I have tried
    - Fasting --> Very effective but it gets me tired, and the last thing I need is to be blowing bad breath with everyone I meet at school and to fall asleep doing my homework out of fatigue. Plus I can't fast every single day...
    - I am constantly making dua'a in every single prayer
    - Keeping myself busy --> this is also effective. I have managed to stay a full week without even thinking of haram stuff, but there's only so much you can do. I remembered one day I did everything I could around the house, I cleaned carpets and I fixed the fridge, but the next day I ran out of things to do...

    So now I really need help. I hope that Allah will guide me to the straight path, and I hope some of you can help me. I am desperate. I don't want my flesh to burn and my bones to rot in the afterlife.