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Family are on my case 24/7

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  • Family are on my case 24/7

    salaam alaykum I need some guidance.

    My brothers, father and mother are on my case 24/7 because they do not approve of the company I keep. I don't approve of me hanging out with non muslims and to be honest it just makes me think they're being racist. My friends are good people and some of them are muslims and their parents dont care. I dont go out of my way to make friends with non muslims but the reality of it is, I live in an area where there are not too many muslims.

    Are they being unreasonable by asking me to stop hanging out with them? I want to obey my parents but at the same time I want a social life.

    I dunno, just thought someone here might have gone through similar problems.
    I beg my parents for money

  • #2
    Family are on my case 24/7

    Walikum Aslam
    It's the common problem where is kids don't see the wisdom behind what our elders are saying but one day it clicks in they were right

    Friends come and go but trust me it's not worth it to have arguments with ur elders :)
    Best Dhikr is :lailah:
    :inlove:
    (Hadith)

    We have one JUST ONE book yet we don't give attention to it :crying_old:

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    • #3
      Family are on my case 24/7

      :wswrwb:

      It's better to have no friends than only non Muslim friends. Hanging out with them will rub off on your imaan.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Family are on my case 24/7

        Originally posted by AishaGirl View Post
        salaam alaykum I need some guidance.

        My brothers, father and mother are on my case 24/7 because they do not approve of the company I keep. I don't approve of me hanging out with non muslims and to be honest it just makes me think they're being racist. My friends are good people and some of them are muslims and their parents dont care. I dont go out of my way to make friends with non muslims but the reality of it is, I live in an area where there are not too many muslims.

        Are they being unreasonable by asking me to stop hanging out with them? I want to obey my parents but at the same time I want a social life.

        I dunno, just thought someone here might have gone through similar problems.
        Trust me sis, time is too precious to waste. Don't make close friends with non-Muslims, just acquaintances. Try to go at your masjid and talk to girls there and don't waste your time too much "hanging out", it should be done once in a while to relieve stress but not often, going out too much hardens the heart (in my personal opinion). Try to improve your reading of the Quran, listening to lectures on Youtube, you know to increase your knowledge, this is time much better spent. Going out should be limited in general in my opinion and you need to get Muslim friends to be close with, it's what's prescribed in the Quran. This is because you will always get influenced no matter what, sub'ana Allah, Allah knows his creation.

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        • #5
          Re: Family are on my case 24/7

          jzk for the replies, I guess it makes sense.

          Sometimes I wonder if parents forget what its like to be a teenager. I just want to have friends to go cinema with, ice skating, amusement parks etc.

          I know I am in control of myself and I would never be influenced to do haram things but seems like nobody trusts me. I should try to interact more with girls at the masjid to be honest.
          I beg my parents for money

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          • #6
            Re: Family are on my case 24/7

            Originally posted by AishaGirl View Post
            jzk for the replies, I guess it makes sense.

            Sometimes I wonder if parents forget what its like to be a teenager. I just want to have friends to go cinema with, ice skating, amusement parks etc.

            I know I am in control of myself and I would never be influenced to do haram things but seems like nobody trusts me. I should try to interact more with girls at the masjid to be honest.
            Watching movies is not permissible just so you know.
            You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

            You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

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            • #7
              Re: Family are on my case 24/7

              Originally posted by Linkdeutscher View Post
              Watching movies is not permissible just so you know.
              How does a movie differ from normal TV? Is TV also not allowed?

              As long as they are not explicit or sexual and promoting many haram things I dont think there is much wrong with a movies.
              I beg my parents for money

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              • #8
                Re: Family are on my case 24/7

                Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
                :wswrwb:

                It's better to have no friends than only non Muslim friends. Hanging out with them will rub off on your imaan.
                This, All Praise to Allah, is very sound advice. The company you keep has a big influence in shaping you. Last thing you want to do is be shaped by non Muslims.
                Watch those eyes

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                • #9
                  Re: Family are on my case 24/7

                  Originally posted by AishaGirl View Post
                  salaam alaykum I need some guidance.

                  My brothers, father and mother are on my case 24/7 because they do not approve of the company I keep. I don't approve of me hanging out with non muslims and to be honest it just makes me think they're being racist. My friends are good people and some of them are muslims and their parents dont care. I dont go out of my way to make friends with non muslims but the reality of it is, I live in an area where there are not too many muslims.

                  Are they being unreasonable by asking me to stop hanging out with them? I want to obey my parents but at the same time I want a social life.

                  I dunno, just thought someone here might have gone through similar problems.
                  :wswrwb: Aisha ....firstly it is your parents fault for bringing you up in a community with no Muslims then acting surprised why you hang out with Non Muslims...

                  Secondly your parents are not 'racist' because that makes no sense...they are judging the company you keep not the colour of their skin ... I can understand their fears....non Muslims have a different lifestyle to us, most drink, have boyfriends, commit zina...this is normal for them....but not for us.....

                  You will come across many non Muslims who are nice and respectful of your islamic beliefs but at the end of the day however strong you think you are you can easily be influenced by them...it is normal to want to fit in.....plus you begin to see their way of life as the acceptable and that could be harmful to you...

                  You need to talk to your parents and brother, tell them you have no other friends...inshallah they will find a solution for you....

                  Sometimes I wonder if parents forget what its like to be a teenager.
                  Parents lived in a different time...plus many did not grow up in the west...your parents seem quite lenient if they let you go out with your friends....:grey:
                  Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Family are on my case 24/7

                    Originally posted by shay5 View Post
                    :wswrwb: Aisha ....firstly it is your parents fault for bringing you up in a community with no Muslims then acting surprised why you hang out with Non Muslims...

                    Secondly your parents are not 'racist' because that makes no sense...they are judging the company you keep not the colour of their skin ... I can understand their fears....non Muslims have a different lifestyle to us, most drink, have boyfriends, commit zina...this is normal for them....but not for us.....

                    You will come across many non Muslims who are nice and respectful of your islamic beliefs but at the end of the day however strong you think you are you can easily be influenced by them...it is normal to want to fit in.....plus you begin to see their way of life as the acceptable and that could be harmful to you...

                    You need to talk to your parents and brother, tell them you have no other friends...inshallah they will find a solution for you....



                    Parents lived in a different time...plus many did not grow up in the west...your parents seem quite lenient if they let you go out with your friends....:grey:
                    Sister Shay5, thank you for the help. It's just a bit hard for me to suddenly going from being "popular" with friends to ditching them and having only 2 or 3 muslim friends.

                    I will still have some friends at least, its not the end of the world :)
                    I beg my parents for money

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Family are on my case 24/7

                      Wa Alaykumussalam
                      I'm not going to say it's outright wrong.. but probably preferable to make close Muslims friends.
                      This is because we can be influenced by people that we hang out with, and a lot of non muslims have boyfriends, drink alcohol, go clubbing etc, at least in the west they do..
                      Now I'm not saying that you will do these things.. or that you will be influenced.. but would you not feel more comfy hanging around with people who you can do permissible things with..
                      A lot of non muslims understand a lot about islam, and would go out of their way to go to places that are permissible for you to go, some are interested in learning more about islam too, I'm not saying it's outright wrong, as naturally we communicate and might befriend people of all faiths, depending on personalities, where we meet, etc.
                      But personally I think as you get older you might notice this more perhaps.. I have anyway, as kids it's okay, but most non-muslims as they grow older kinda tend to socialise in haraam places.

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                      • #12
                        Re: Family are on my case 24/7

                        if their a bad influence then their a waste of time. I used to hang out with revert muslims. then all of a sudden I see them smoking weed lol, and weird behaviour like staying up all night or not sleepin for 24 hours. so I cut all contacts with them.
                        Know that the life of this world is but amusement and diversion and adornment and boasting to one another and competition in increase of wealth and children...

                        -Quran (57:20)

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                        • #13
                          Re: Family are on my case 24/7

                          Originally posted by AishaGirl View Post
                          jzk for the replies, I guess it makes sense.

                          Sometimes I wonder if parents forget what its like to be a teenager. I just want to have friends to go cinema with, ice skating, amusement parks etc.

                          I know I am in control of myself and I would never be influenced to do haram things but seems like nobody trusts me. I should try to interact more with girls at the masjid to be honest.
                          Yes now go and debate with your friends about the sharia law. You'll see the next day they won't even look at your face.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Family are on my case 24/7

                            Originally posted by fyi View Post
                            Yes now go and debate with your friends about the sharia law. You'll see the next day they won't even look at your face.
                            They dont know much about it but the little they do know they strongly disagree with as you would expect. In England we dont have sharia so its not really a problem
                            I beg my parents for money

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Family are on my case 24/7

                              :wswrwb:

                              You'll grow out of it.

                              I wasn't too keen on going out with them all the time but sometimes it was annoying that I didn't know much. I felt restricted because every other muslim girl gets to go out and learn about the world while I'm 'stuck' at home clueless. No one is interested in someone who doesn't go out with them.

                              But I wasn't too bothered because I had things to do. I've never been to the cinema in my whole entire life. But sometimes it made me wonder about what muslims girls do other than studying. Because when it comes to studying :zzz: pffft YEH RIGHT

                              I WANNA PARTY WOOOOOOOOOO

                              I've grown up in a non muslim environment and I've survived it and :insha: you can too.

                              I must admit I am behind with everything regarding other muslim girls who live in a more muslim dominated area. The opportunities for them are vast. Unfortunately, I wasn't given those opportunities but life goes on and everything happens for a reason.

                              When I say opportunities I mean going to the mosque, going to madrasahs, being a bit more active with your community, learning Arabic and having more access to 'halal' activities in general because being muslim doesn't mean you life has to be like doomsday everyday. You can still do things.

                              Listen to your dad, I listened to mine and I owe him for not turning into a wannabee or being pressurised to become someone i'm not. Alhamdulillah

                              Find library geeks, they're cool (lol), I used to hang out in the library. Some non muslims don't go out much and you can hang out with them as long as they don't try to influence you to do bad it's all good.

                              All the best,
                              'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                              So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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