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  • My start to university...

    Asalamu alaikum fellow believing souls,

    I'm not really experienced with forums, but the current state of being alone has driven me here.. I guess i'm craving some sort of companionship/guidance from those of you who will expend the time to read this, may Allah reward you and increase you in imaan and steadfastness.

    I hope I'm able to keep this at minimum length so I'm not keeping you guys here long.
    My name is Zaryab (yehhh, people always be like what?), and I'm 19. I've recently started studying business/technology at Manchester University. The course itself is survivable and is enjoyable Alhamdulillah, and my fellow course mates, although not muslims, get along with me well. The love of Allah and islam penetrated my heart at age 16, when Alhamdulillah i began to consider myself 'practicing' - but there was an issue.. That was my company.

    There isn't a point in me describing where I am from, as it's a small non-existent town up North.. But let's just say it's not a very nice town, and outsiders always describe my home town as very rough, full of filthy people, illegal activies, crime, etc. Unfortuantely, I grew up with the bad boy wannabes, and had the same mentality until i hit age 16.. But even when I became practicing, I couldn't let go of my 'boys' because of the love they occuppied in my heart. I suppose I was mainly fearful of becoming alone, as I knew without them I had no other practicing friends or companionship around me to share my passion for deen and to discuss the beuaty of ahadith, sunnah or Qur'an.. I do really wish I had companions like the Sahaabha had companions :p - anyway back to the point, conclusively, I was practicing islam, doing my best to learn more Qur'an and islam everyday, but I couldn't rid myself of the bad company. Fast forward now, I evenutally realised aftermuch contemplation that they were bad for me, and over the years the numbers gradually decreased. I started university with a few of them, and as I'm commuting (I chose to, as i personally believe it's the only thing one can do to ensure zero corruption of one's deen), I primarily spend my time with them outside of my course and when waiting for lectures. But i've realised how uncomfortable I am around them.. They constantly mix with non-mahram girls which comprimises my gaze, which I couldn't take anymore especially after hearing Rasoolullah SAW said thzt the best of us are those who have control over their gazes.. They smoke sheesha, take drugs, party out until late, consume alcohol, are illicity involved with many females.. please note I've never accompanied them during these activites, they know this something I will never do, however they do try to 'persuade' me which has never succeeded nor will it ever. And note that they are born muslims as well.. That come from practicing households, but their families have no clue of the activity they are engaged in.. And before you guys ask me if I've tried to advise them and remind them to fear Allah, they consider me haraam police, mentally lost and so to not let them develop any hatred towards deen, i quieted myself regarding that.

    I think I've made this too long already.. I suppose what I'm trying to say is that I'm going through the final stages of removing these people from my life entirely.. But the loneliness I've experienced and lack of religious friends to guide me and help me through this phase recently has almost made me depressed. The only thing motivating me to stay positive through this lonely chapter is the love of Allah and His Rasool SAW. Please consider that I do know that my problem is next to nothing compared to those truly suffering out there.. And the suffering of those especially in Syria is my strongest drive to move forward in life and hold onto my deen no matter what.. Please do make Du'a for them brothers and sisters.. always make du'a for them, even if it's only a minute you can spare, please do.. the ummah is like one body, when the head (syria) hurts, the whole body is in a state of discomfort.

    jazkh'Allah Khair, i love you all for the sake of Allah swt

  • #2
    Re: My start to university...

    Wa alaykum assalaam

    Is there a Masjid in the town you live in or near the university you attend? There must be some good brothers you can mix with and they may be having the same problem as you.

    "Many people went astray and deviated from the course because of their friends. It is reported that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: "A person acquires the same religion of his beloved ones, so let everyone observe whom they befriend." Reported by Ahmad, Al-Tirmidhy and others.

    Abu Musa Al-Ash'ari (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:
    I heard the Prophet (ﷺ) saying, "The similitude of good company and that of bad company is that of the owner of musk and of the one blowing the bellows. The owner of musk would either offer you some free of charge, or you would buy it from him, or you smell its pleasant fragrance; and as for the one who blows the bellows (i.e., the blacksmith), he either burns your clothes or you smell a repugnant smell". [Al- Bukhari and Muslim].

    And he :saw: said: "Solitude is better than an evil companion and a good companion is better than solitude..."
    إن الصلاة تنهى عن الفحشاء والمنكر

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    • #3
      Wa 'alaikum as-salam, dear bro.

      I believe you have done the right thing. A true friend is the one who reminds you of Allah swt. Have you tried the islamic society? We live in a shameless society, and the immorality is always there, especially in a university environment, but there are genuinely good, practising brothers out there. You just have to look in the right places

      Also, I saw your other thread. I don't have much advice to give, but have you tried staying with your cousins?

      May Allah swt ease your affairs. Ameen, thumma ameen.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: My start to university...

        :wswrwb:

        Maybe its best to disregard them as friends.

        If you see them about continue with your dawah in Sha Allah, maybe one day when they are going through hard times they remember what you have said or the way you conducted yourself and would want to move closer to the deen. All in all make dua for them in Sha Allah as hidayah comes from Allah Azzawajal.

        Get in touch with your uni isoc and chill with the bros from there or maybe the ones in your prayer room.
        “And keep yourself (O Muhammad) patiently with those who call on their Lord (i.e. your companions who remember their Lord with glorification, praising in prayers, and other righteous deeds) morning and afternoon, seeking His Face” 18:28

        Allah knows best

        All advice goes to me first and foremost.
        إقراء القران فإنه يأتي يوم القيامة شفيعا لأصحابه

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        • #5
          Re: My start to university...

          I'm practically a loner at university now because of this it's difficult but on your breaks just chill in the prayer room and you'll instantly fall in love I'A
          good company is always nice to have:)


          And don't ever give up because we shouldn't belittle our sins like that
          [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][B][U][CENTER]Oh Allah, in your name, I die and live.[/CENTER][/U][/B][/FONT][/SIZE]
          [CENTER]:):lailah::lailah::lailah::lailah::)[/CENTER]

          [B][CENTER]Ya Allah, Grant Me A Heart That Sees[/CENTER][/B]

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: My start to university...

            Originally posted by islamuslim View Post
            Wa alaykum assalaam

            Is there a Masjid in the town you live in or near the university you attend? There must be some good brothers you can mix with and they may be having the same problem as you.

            "Many people went astray and deviated from the course because of their friends. It is reported that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: "A person acquires the same religion of his beloved ones, so let everyone observe whom they befriend." Reported by Ahmad, Al-Tirmidhy and others.

            Abu Musa Al-Ash'ari (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:
            I heard the Prophet (ﷺ) saying, "The similitude of good company and that of bad company is that of the owner of musk and of the one blowing the bellows. The owner of musk would either offer you some free of charge, or you would buy it from him, or you smell its pleasant fragrance; and as for the one who blows the bellows (i.e., the blacksmith), he either burns your clothes or you smell a repugnant smell". [Al- Bukhari and Muslim].

            And he :saw: said: "Solitude is better than an evil companion and a good companion is better than solitude..."
            As salaam brother, there is a main masjid around my university, and Alhamdulillah I've been attending since my start.. However, sadly I only see people much older than myself, who are Alhamdulillah really good company when I do eventually go there, as they all seem to like me so that's good. I have rarely seen other students of similar age, and when I have, they are always qite isolated and to themself. Jazakh'Allah for taking the time to read my call for help, may Allah reward you for sharing those golden sayings of my beloved SAW.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: My start to university...

              Originally posted by Faith reloaded View Post
              Wa 'alaikum as-salam, dear bro.

              I believe you have done the right thing. A true friend is the one who reminds you of Allah swt. Have you tried the islamic society? We live in a shameless society, and the immorality is always there, especially in a university environment, but there are genuinely good, practising brothers out there. You just have to look in the right places

              Also, I saw your other thread. I don't have much advice to give, but have you tried staying with your cousins?

              May Allah swt ease your affairs. Ameen, thumma ameen.
              As salaam respected brother, yeah this was an old thread i made, but was awaiting moderator approval for some reason, haha. yeahh, it's all come into such a hard play at once, subhan'Allah, but a dear friend reminded me that Allah only tests those more who he loves, so if this is Allah's love for me then I'm over the moon :D To stay positive no matter what strikes us, like our beloved Rasool SAW taught us, right? It's amazing actually, how strangely I've been so positive through these ordeals haha. Unfortunately my cousins in London aren't so concerned, too occupied with their lives, and rightly so I suppose. Jazakh'Allah for taking the time to read this nonethless, may Allah reward you for your sincerity

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: My start to university...

                Originally posted by zantz View Post
                I'm practically a loner at university now because of this it's difficult but on your breaks just chill in the prayer room and you'll instantly fall in love I'A
                good company is always nice to have:)


                And don't ever give up because we shouldn't belittle our sins like that
                As salaam my dear brother,
                yoo maybe we can help each other through these lonely times, eh? insh'allah, feel free to private message me on here to even talk on whatsapp
                no you're too right, bro! it's easy to follow the herd like a sheep, but in these times we must stand firms like lions and hold onto our deen no matter what the cost, because by Allah it will be worth it in the end. May Allah increase you in your steadfastness, iman and grant you righteous company soon. Thank you for taking time to read and respond

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: My start to university...

                  Originally posted by iRepIslam View Post
                  :wswrwb:

                  Maybe its best to disregard them as friends.

                  If you see them about continue with your dawah in Sha Allah, maybe one day when they are going through hard times they remember what you have said or the way you conducted yourself and would want to move closer to the deen. All in all make dua for them in Sha Allah as hidayah comes from Allah Azzawajal.

                  Get in touch with your uni isoc and chill with the bros from there or maybe the ones in your prayer room.
                  “And keep yourself (O Muhammad) patiently with those who call on their Lord (i.e. your companions who remember their Lord with glorification, praising in prayers, and other righteous deeds) morning and afternoon, seeking His Face” 18:28

                  Allah knows best

                  All advice goes to me first and foremost.
                  As salaam sister, firstly jazakh'Allah for taking the time to read and respond to my call for advice, may Allah reward you for your sinceirty and increase you in iman and steadfastness
                  I've tried the prayer rooms, Alhamdulillah the company was good, however it's very isolated in there. Tried to make small talk here and there with brothers, but everyone is very very isolated which I don't seem to understand why, unless uni for muslims just is that way. But I always remind myself that the dunya is like a prison for the believer (hence the reward absolutely great) and paradise for the disbeliever (and hence the punishment indeed very severe).
                  Jazakh'Allah

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    My start to university...

                    Aameen.

                    Definitely try ISOC - brothers and sisters there are always willing to help. In sha Allah.
                    إقراء القران فإنه يأتي يوم القيامة شفيعا لأصحابه

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      My start to university...

                      I'm not sure why they are isolated, maybe your university lacks the bro and sisterhood. May Allah keep us firm.

                      On my first day of uni I was in the prayer room. A sister was sitting on the prayer mat after praying Zuhr and smiled at me that's when our friendship started and to this day I go to her for advice and we have a close bond. Alhamdulilah.

                      I met my other mate on the train going home from uni, she was like 'I know this is awkward but give me your digits pls' ofcourse I laughed it off and teased her begging it with me on the first day. - we were all searching for people to befriend on first day/week

                      Alhamdulilah. We just clicked.

                      So you can meet your friends anywhere and everywhere... whether it be in the prayer room or on the train whilst going home.
                      Last edited by iRepIslam; 28-12-16, 11:12 PM.
                      إقراء القران فإنه يأتي يوم القيامة شفيعا لأصحابه

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: My start to university...

                        Originally posted by iRepIslam View Post
                        I'm not sure why they are isolated, maybe your university lacks the bro and sisterhood. May Allah keep us firm.

                        On my first day of uni I was in the prayer room. A sister was sitting on the prayer mat after praying Zuhr and smiled at me that's when our friendship started and to this day I go to her for advice and we have a close bond. Alhamdulilah.

                        I met my other mate on the train going home from uni, she was like 'I know this is awkward but give me your digits pls' ofcourse I laughed it off and teased her begging it with me on the first day. - we were all searching for people to befriend on first day/week

                        Alhamdulilah. We just clicked.

                        So you can meet your friends anywhere and everywhere... whether it be in the prayer room or on the train whilst going home.
                        Alhamdulillah, I'm happy to hear you had such great experiences with your first friendships.

                        Sadly it hasn't been the same for me, I think lads are naturally just more isolated than sisters, as I've seen even my female cousins been able to connect and instantly develop good friendships at the start of university. We definitely do lack a lot of brotherhood here, wouldn't say the same for sisterhood though. Jazakh'Allah sis, will be sure to keep your advice in mind

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: My start to university...

                          Wa Alaykumussalam
                          Don't hang about with them sis, it's gonna be okay.. I promise, just cut of those ties
                          Try to join Islamic society, or other societies that are halal to make friends
                          Btw, don't worry.. I was like this at university, no muslims on my course, and to socialise they all went drinking etc, so I was alone
                          First, it wasn't easy.. but then I got over it... Plus I have close fam n friends outside of university, so I just didn't make it into a biggie.
                          Insha Allah you'll be rewarded.
                          And with Him are the keys of the Ghayb (all that is hidden), none knows them but He. And He knows whatever there is in the land and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but He knows it. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth nor anything fresh or dry, but is written in a Clear Record”
                          [al-An’aam 6:59]

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                          • #14
                            Re: My start to university...

                            I stayed away from uni most of the time as attendance wasn't mandatory, that might help you are able to do so.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: My start to university...

                              I did my undergrad in a subject that attracted literally 0 Muslims at my university so I was practically a loner throughout those three years. Alhamdulillah, I came out of it okay and have made wonderful friends through my job and now my postgrad. I think those years of struggle and solitude were the making of me. You'll be ok in sha Allah and what's certain is that you aren't the only one :)

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