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  • Confused as to what to do

    Salaam Alaykum, hope you're all in the best of health and imaan in shaa Allaah.

    So up until a couple days ago I thought I had everything planned out as to what I want to do with secondary education but I honestly don't know anymore so I was hoping I could get some advice from you guys pls.

    At first I wanted to study at Umm al Quraa uni in Makkah but then I realized I don't have a mahram available to me to stay in makkah until I graduate. Only solution is to get married but only Allaah knows when/if that'll happen and i'm not gonna wait around doing nothing until it does.

    So then my mom told me to at least get a teaching degree from here as a backup thing in case anything happens after marriage and I'll need to work so I'll at least have a halaal job. I was like ok then I'll do that because I can apply for teaching in Saudi or any other Gulf country and I can live there with my future family in shaa Allaah. But just recently teachers college has been increased to 2 years so that's 6 years of studying altogether. 6 years is a very long time, I'll be nearly 25 by the time I graduate from teachers college, I don't want to do this for that long. Also another problem is that the uni here majors in sciences so I'll have to somehow commute to the one 45 mins away without taking the city bus because I'm not allowed to. I was told to get a random degree in the uni here and just do teachers college but I'm not going to waste my time doing something useless for 4 whole years. So I said it's either the uni that's 45 mins from here or college (American). College is apparently looked down upon by brown people because it's for applied students and not academics.

    And I've also been neglecting the Qur'an lately astaghfirullah so every time I hear it I feel guilty for not having completed it yet. I was thinking of taking a gap year after graduation but Im not sure if I have the motivation to study it on my own and I'll only be delaying uni. Tbh I actually never wanted to do secondary education since I was little, mostly because I wanted to get over with school. My goal was to complete my hifdh and become a mom, srsly. But now a degree is apparently something easy to obtain so you get looked down upon if you don't have one and it's the same when it comes to marriage too.

    Honestly I'm so lost right now and I know the first thing to do is to pray to Allaah because "He found you lost and guided you" - Qur'an. I just wanted some Islamic insight from others and I need to have this all figured out by January because that's when uni/college applications are due. May Allaah reward you all and I know this post is ll over the place so I apologize.

    Baarak Allaahu feekum.
    إن الصلاة تنهى عن الفحشاء والمنكر

  • #2
    Re: Confused as to what to do

    [MENTION=132744]A.Basheer[/MENTION] @rep:

    That's actually what I want to do but in my mother's eyes no uni = doing nothing. This wasn't always her mentality but I don't blame her, that's what my bro did for some time and now she thinks I'll do that too. He was sitting at home waiting to be accepted by Madinah uni, but alhamdulillah he works part time now.

    It's easy to say ignore society because I'll always be compared to my sister and others who are from religious families and are still obtaining degrees. But yeah I should focus on how Allah sees me and not society.

    I appreciate the advice akh jazaakallaahkhayr

    Maybe I should've posted this in the lounge...
    إن الصلاة تنهى عن الفحشاء والمنكر

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    • #3
      Re: Confused as to what to do

      Well I was going to stop posting but just ran into your thread and couldn't help but to comment.

      So he got his degree and then got accepted to madinah and works part time? I believe they kick their students out if they find out they are working. May Allah make it easy.

      Still; he is a male and the ruling differs.

      It's a difficult topic because every person's situation is different.. But as far as I know, who said it's allowed to go to a mixed university and engross yourself in that type of environment just to a obtain a qualification you may or may not use -- while you are a female and are not obliged to spend on anyone? I don't believe it's permissible.

      All the while the opportunity for you to become a hafidh and study the Deen awaits you.

      I just don't understand this mentality our parents have wallahi. My sister (my family is secular) spent 6 years working towards her profession but has not worked full time for years due to being at home with the kids. She won't send her kids to daycare.

      So we can get our degrees and become something, but who will raise the kids? Non Muslims have no problem with this but how and where we raise our kids is crucial.

      Anyways, not to start a rant. But the best thing to do, considering your mom and all that would be to take courses online and work towards a degree, and do hifdh full time at the same time.

      This is just an opinion and others will have their own.

      But I believe they won't have any backing from the Quran and Sunnah for their opinions ie send a girl to that type of environment for something that is not a necessity.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Confused as to what to do

        Originally posted by A.Basheer View Post
        Well I was going to stop posting but just ran into your thread and couldn't help but to comment.

        So he got his degree and then got accepted to madinah and works part time? I believe they kick their students out if they find out they are working. May Allah make it easy.

        Still; he is a male and the ruling differs.

        It's a difficult topic because every person's situation is different.. But as far as I know, who said it's allowed to go to a mixed university and engross yourself in that type of environment just to a obtain a qualification you may or may not use -- while you are a female and are not obliged to spend on anyone? I don't believe it's permissible.

        All the while the opportunity for you to become a hafidh and study the Deen awaits you.

        I just don't understand this mentality our parents have wallahi. My sister (my family is secular) spent 6 years working towards her profession but has not worked full time for years due to being at home with the kids. She won't send her kids to daycare.

        So we can get our degrees and become something, but who will raise the kids? Non Muslims have no problem with this but how and where we raise our kids is crucial.

        Anyways, not to start a rant. But the best thing to do, considering your mom and all that would be to take courses online and work towards a degree, and do hifdh full time at the same time.

        This is just an opinion and others will have their own.

        But I believe they won't have any backing from the Quran and Sunnah for their opinions ie send a girl to that type of environment for something that is not a necessity.
        No he never did secondary education and he's yet to be accepted to Madinah uni, but he recently started working here as a Qur'an teacher. My parents are encouraging him to go to college next semester but idk what he wants to do.

        That's true, however Im pretty sure the field i may consider is majority females. I kind of do understand where my mom's coming from, there are wives who had to start working because of their family's financial instability. She wants me to become a teacher so I could live a halaal comfortable life in a muslim country. Of course I wouldn't work after kids, but i have thought of tutoring. But people still look for educated people to educate their kids.

        I'll look up if they have online teachers courses in shaa Allaah That's actually a really good suggestion, idk why i haven't thought of this before, jazaakAllahkhayr.
        إن الصلاة تنهى عن الفحشاء والمنكر

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        • #5
          Re: Confused as to what to do

          Private tutoring in a Gulf country and settling there is a good idea and an ideal plan in my opinion.

          May Allah make it easy for all of us.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Confused as to what to do

            Originally posted by islamuslim View Post
            No he never did secondary education and he's yet to be accepted to Madinah uni, but he recently started working here as a Qur'an teacher. My parents are encouraging him to go to college next semester but idk what he wants to do.

            That's true, however Im pretty sure the field i may consider is majority females. I kind of do understand where my mom's coming from, there are wives who had to start working because of their family's financial instability. She wants me to become a teacher so I could live a halaal comfortable life in a muslim country. Of course I wouldn't work after kids, but i have thought of tutoring. But people still look for educated people to educate their kids.

            I'll look up if they have online teachers courses in shaa Allaah That's actually a really good suggestion, idk why i haven't thought of this before, jazaakAllahkhayr.
            So your mom's plan was to move to america, have a daughter, then have her become a teacher and move to an islamic country(how?). I dunno about this plan. Is there more to it because right now it sounds too vague. Becoming a naturalized citizen in the gulf isn't even possible afaik. What do you want to study?

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            • #7
              Re: Confused as to what to do

              Originally posted by quark View Post
              So your mom's plan was to move to america, have a daughter, then have her become a teacher and move to an islamic country(how?). I dunno about this plan. Is there more to it because right now it sounds too vague. Becoming a naturalized citizen in the gulf isn't even possible afaik. What do you want to study?
              My father was already here in Canada and he went back home to marry my mom. Both of them were not as practicing as they are now alhamdulillah. He and my uncle didn't even let my aunt do high school here so they were very against the idea of us doing university here. I'm telling you this because no, my parents never planned to make my sisters and I study secondary education in a mixed environment afaik. But apparently now they're okay with it? Idk

              Things are only gonna get worse for Muslims in the West which is why my parents have been planning on going back home or settling in the middle east for a while now. I know I can't get citizenship but I can live there as long as I have a proper job and teaching is the best way to go. My cousin's actually teaching in Saudi right now but Idk how she got there without a mahram. Obviously I won't go there alone, most likely will have to get married first in shaa Allah.

              What do I want to do? I want to complete my hifdh and do Islamic studies at a proper university like the one in Saudi but I'm not able to because I have no available mahram. It would've been ideal if Madinah uni had a sisters program too so I could go with my bro. Honestly I don't mind studying teachers education but not only is the uni far but it's 6 whole years. There's also the freemixing issue.

              Some days I actually want to go to uni but then I'm like can I just get married already. Idk what to do
              إن الصلاة تنهى عن الفحشاء والمنكر

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              • #8
                Re: Confused as to what to do

                if you're talking about a university/colleges in the US, there is no significant difference. the only difference is, universities get grants to do research and stuff. but this has no prevalence to your career path. now if you're taking about community college then..........yeah

                IDK about Saudi, but in a lot of the other gulf countries they have residency and you can only get citizenship if you marry a person with the citizenship. but as long you have a job, you won't have any issues. even when you get fired, there is a grace period of 6 months for you to find work. so yeah.
                Last edited by snowtrees; 16-12-16, 06:06 PM.

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                • #9
                  Re: Confused as to what to do

                  Check this: http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...=1#post7278869

                  Also, are you in the UK or US? Teaching is just a four year program total in the US. I think teaching is a great degree for a woman to have. Or you could try to get a degree in nursing if it will take less time.

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                  • #10
                    Re: Confused as to what to do

                    Sorry, I just noticed that you are in Canada. I don't know how the system works there.

                    If you are close to the border, then you can try to study at an American university. For example, from Windsor, the Wayne State University in Detroit is really close.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Confused as to what to do

                      Originally posted by snowtrees View Post
                      if you're talking about a university/colleges in the US, there is no significant difference. the only difference is, universities get grants to do research and stuff. but this has no prevalence to your career path. now if you're taking about community college then..........yeah

                      IDK about Saudi, but in a lot of the other gulf countries they have residency and you can only get citizenship if you marry a person with the citizenship. but as long you have a job, you won't have any issues. even when you get fired, there is a grace period of 6 months for you to find work. so yeah.
                      I'm talking about Canada actually. And yeah, getting a job in the middle east is not that difficult, especially if you hold a western passport.

                      Originally posted by abdulsidd View Post
                      Check this: http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...=1#post7278869

                      Also, are you in the UK or US? Teaching is just a four year program total in the US. I think teaching is a great degree for a woman to have. Or you could try to get a degree in nursing if it will take less time.
                      It's 4 years here too but then there's 2 years teachers college. It was only 1 year up until last year but because there are a lot of teachers bu few jobs they're making the process longer.

                      Originally posted by abdulsidd View Post
                      Sorry, I just noticed that you are in Canada. I don't know how the system works there.

                      If you are close to the border, then you can try to study at an American university. For example, from Windsor, the Wayne State University in Detroit is really close.
                      It's ok, not really a big fan of the US lol and neither are my parents.
                      إن الصلاة تنهى عن الفحشاء والمنكر

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                      • #12
                        Re: Confused as to what to do

                        I'm thinking of going to college (American) because it's generally only 2 years. Might just get some certificate for working with kids.

                        Not 100% sure that's what I want to do though.

                        Jazaakum Allah Khayr everyone
                        إن الصلاة تنهى عن الفحشاء والمنكر

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                        • #13
                          Re: Confused as to what to do

                          Originally posted by islamuslim View Post
                          I'm thinking of going to college (American) because it's generally only 2 years. Might just get some certificate for working with kids.

                          Not 100% sure that's what I want to do though.

                          Jazaakum Allah Khayr everyone
                          Bechaari

                          Exactly one week left to accept my offers of admission and I still don't know what I'm doing smh
                          إن الصلاة تنهى عن الفحشاء والمنكر

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                          • #14
                            Re: Confused as to what to do

                            Originally posted by islamuslim View Post
                            Bechaari

                            Exactly one week left to accept my offers of admission and I still don't know what I'm doing smh
                            did you decide sis?
                            And with Him are the keys of the Ghayb (all that is hidden), none knows them but He. And He knows whatever there is in the land and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but He knows it. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth nor anything fresh or dry, but is written in a Clear Record”
                            [al-An’aam 6:59]

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                            • #15
                              Re: Confused as to what to do

                              Originally posted by Creamcake View Post
                              did you decide sis?
                              Kind of

                              Well baba thinks I should study English so I might just end up doing that.

                              I'm going to pray istikharah tonight in shaa Allah.
                              إن الصلاة تنهى عن الفحشاء والمنكر

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