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How do I deal with negative environment ?

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  • How do I deal with negative environment ?

    :salams

    How do I deal with being in a negative environment all the time (when going outside, alhamdulillah not at home)? When I say negative, alhamdulillah I don't mean drugs or alcohol but just rude, mean and vindictive people in general. If you are nice, people will take advantage or think you are weak and people in this environment are so judgmental. Backbiting is so common that sometimes I have to catch myself from committing it (astaghfiruAllah). It just drains me now. There are no religious people where I live (not that I know of but I'm sure there are some) so I can't surround myself with them.

  • #2
    Re: How do I deal with negative environment ?

    Originally posted by Sarah5 View Post
    :salams

    How do I deal with being in a negative environment all the time (when going outside, alhamdulillah not at home)? When I say negative, alhamdulillah I don't mean drugs or alcohol but just rude, mean and vindictive people in general. If you are nice, people will take advantage or think you are weak and people in this environment are so judgmental. Backbiting is so common that sometimes I have to catch myself from committing it (astaghfiruAllah). It just drains me now. There are no religious people where I live (not that I know of but I'm sure there are some) so I can't surround myself with them.
    Buck up... They're just random no lifers, who gives a rats behind what they say?

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    • #3
      Re: How do I deal with negative environment ?

      You could advise them about their behavior. Although I reckon it probably won't lead to anything.

      The best solution is to move into a more religious area. That's easier said than done of course.

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      • #4
        Re: How do I deal with negative environment ?

        Originally posted by Mr.Kroptic View Post
        Buck up... They're just random no lifers, who gives a rats behind what they say?
        Alhamdulillah I don't get picked on (or at least if I do I am unaware) but it's the general environment the constant negativity. You smile at someone and they give you a strange look or their face stays neutral/frowning. The fact that everyone wants their own benefit is really dehumanizing because all they want is for you to help them cheat or study or whatever. No one knows the meaning of the word "genuine" and if you don't lie, cheat or manipulate, you're labeled as "a nice idiot".

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        • #5
          Re: How do I deal with negative environment ?

          Originally posted by Medic View Post
          You could advise them about their behavior. Although I reckon it probably won't lead to anything.

          The best solution is to move into a more religious area. That's easier said than done of course.
          That's not very practical brother but :jkk:

          And Sub'Ana Allah many religious women are extremely judgmental and the way they sometimes talk is also very disheartening. Sometimes religion is cultural and so people don't act upon the Sunnah properly (may Allah SWT guide us). I don't claim to be perfect by any means but judgemental comments (sometimes to the point of making fun of someone) and constant backbiting make me uncomfortable

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          • #6
            Re: How do I deal with negative environment ?

            Wa alaikum asalaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

            First off, try not to let it affect your own behaviour.
            Sure it's dehumanising and negative but remember you're better than that.
            So keep interactions down to a minimum and stop smiling at everyone.
            We're living in ASBO times, so protect what's important ie you.
            People will take advantage until you give off different vibes.
            So stay away from those who don't understand.

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            • #7
              Re: How do I deal with negative environment ?

              Originally posted by wifeseeker View Post
              Wa alaikum asalaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

              First off, try not to let it affect your own behaviour.
              Sure it's dehumanising and negative but remember you're better than that.
              So keep interactions down to a minimum and stop smiling at everyone.
              We're living in ASBO times, so protect what's important ie you.
              People will take advantage until you give off different vibes.
              So stay away from those who don't understand.
              I only smile at other women (like when we make eye contact) brother and I don't really talk to anyone unless necessary as is and still for some reason the negative atmosphere sometimes gets to me and I try to overcome it but it still lingers. Perhaps the dark weather also plays a role.

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              • #8
                Re: How do I deal with negative environment ?

                It's good you smile.
                Even doing so all alone releases endorphins.
                Know your Lord loves you and there is no need to feel saddened by anything, least of all others peoples shortfall.
                It is their loss, not yours.
                Find the champions.
                Keep your chin up.

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                • #9
                  Re: How do I deal with negative environment ?

                  So important to realize our strangeness during these times. May Allah make us of the strangers.

                  Click image for larger version

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                  • #10
                    Re: How do I deal with negative environment ?

                    AsSalaamu Alaikum. Recite ayatul kursi when leaving the house and on your return home.

                    May Allah protect you from their evil and protect them from your evil.

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                    • #11
                      Re: How do I deal with negative environment ?

                      Originally posted by LA3 View Post
                      AsSalaamu Alaikum. Recite ayatul kursi when leaving the house and on your return home.

                      May Allah protect you from their evil and protect them from your evil.
                      :jkk: for your help brother but I heard that that hadith is not true (the 70 thousand angels protecting you)
                      Last edited by Sarah5; 10-12-16, 09:42 AM.

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                      • #12
                        Re: How do I deal with negative environment ?

                        Originally posted by A.Basheer View Post
                        So important to realize our strangeness during these times. May Allah make us of the strangers.

                        [ATTACH=CONFIG]86128[/ATTACH]
                        Bro that's a brilliant quote alhamdulilah
                        What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked Allah for yesterday?

                        We worry about tomorrow as if its guaranteed

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                        • #13
                          Re: How do I deal with negative environment ?

                          :wswrwb:


                          Originally posted by Sarah5 View Post
                          Alhamdulillah I don't get picked on (or at least if I do I am unaware) but it's the general environment the constant negativity. You smile at someone and they give you a strange look or their face stays neutral/frowning. The fact that everyone wants their own benefit is really dehumanizing because all they want is for you to help them cheat or study or whatever. No one knows the meaning of the word "genuine" and if you don't lie, cheat or manipulate, you're labeled as "a nice idiot".
                          Hmmm. Maybe you could try to not apply meanings to such things or apply alternative meanings. So, for example, if someone doesn't smile back, you could assume that it's because they've got a lot on their mind. Or that their mind is elsewhere.

                          Whatever you do, don't let the environment eat you up... you can't give it that much weight. Still be *you*. It's one of the hardest things to do in environments like that, though.

                          I like the idea of dhikr. And if the staring really bothers me, I start calculating a maths problem mentally (probably making funny faces while I'm at it). That's my way of escaping the here and now Maybe you could try that?
                          ~‘And He will provide him from (sources) he could never imagine. And whoever puts their trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Indeed, Allah has set a measure for all things.’~ - سورة الطلاق : 3

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                          • #14
                            Re: How do I deal with negative environment ?

                            Originally posted by Muslimah1436 View Post
                            :wswrwb:




                            Hmmm. Maybe you could try to not apply meanings to such things or apply alternative meanings. So, for example, if someone doesn't smile back, you could assume that it's because they've got a lot on their mind. Or that their mind is elsewhere.

                            Whatever you do, don't let the environment eat you up... you can't give it that much weight. Still be *you*. It's one of the hardest things to do in environments like that, though.

                            I like the idea of dhikr. And if the staring really bothers me, I start calculating a maths problem mentally (probably making funny faces while I'm at it). That's my way of escaping the here and now Maybe you could try that?
                            :jkk: sis, it's not really just about the smiling, it's an overall displeasing atmosphere. It's rare to find a kind heart just a nice person. I live in a city so I guess it's normal and expected. Alhamdulillah for everything though. And that's very interesting to hear someone solve math problems, masha'a Allah sis, Allahuma barek.

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                            • #15
                              Re: How do I deal with negative environment ?

                              Put yourself in a positive environment more often, try to slowly transform your home into a positive environment

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