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Being kind to yourself, loving yourself: how do you do it?

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  • Being kind to yourself, loving yourself: how do you do it?

    Salaams,

    I have got to be the harshest person towards myself, I am so nasty towards myself, and it's tiring me out. How do you become kind to yourself? In fact, few years back, I had this exact problem, then it improved (not too sure how it happened) and now, it's back with a vengeance. My self talk is very negative, I lack self confidence, its painful. I avoid all sorts of social situations, like get togethers, meals out etc..i want to change, I want to start loving myself, being kind to myself, I want to be my best fan, but I dont know how to do it.

    What are practical steps I could take to change for the better? I've accepted that Im naturally an introvert, but then again, being an introvert doesnt automatically mean that you're socially awkward, that you loath yourself, that your self talk is very negative etc...Please answer if you have something meaningful to say, otherwise please refrain.
    "Hide your good deeds (from the people) just like you hide your evil deeds."

  • #2
    Re: Being kind to yourself, loving yourself: how do you do it?

    AsSalaamu Alaikum.

    Try to do this tomorrow morning. Ask yourself, what is the thing i'm most afraid of doing today. Then do it.

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    • #3
      Re: Being kind to yourself, loving yourself: how do you do it?

      Originally posted by Macbook View Post
      Salaams,

      I have got to be the harshest person towards myself, I am so nasty towards myself, and it's tiring me out. How do you become kind to yourself? In fact, few years back, I had this exact problem, then it improved (not too sure how it happened) and now, it's back with a vengeance. My self talk is very negative, I lack self confidence, its painful. I avoid all sorts of social situations, like get togethers, meals out etc..i want to change, I want to start loving myself, being kind to myself, I want to be my best fan, but I dont know how to do it.

      What are practical steps I could take to change for the better? I've accepted that Im naturally an introvert, but then again, being an introvert doesnt automatically mean that you're socially awkward, that you loath yourself, that your self talk is very negative etc...Please answer if you have something meaningful to say, otherwise please refrain.
      wa alaikum assalaam

      You cannot be caught up in your mistakes and inadequacies because all us have been created with a different set of capabilities and weaknesses. IF you fail to accept who you are including both aspects then you become your greatest enemy. So, how to change this...

      I would advise reading the Quran, whenever you are down about something or someone puts you down, the Quran gives solace with guidance on Allah's love, mercy, forgiveness and kindness. With this realization, it also balances with His punishments - so we do not stray from the straight path, Siratul-Mustaqim. And, falling in love with Allah, also comes with the mindset the fact that you are part of His blessed creation with a greatness determined.

      By spiritually attaching yourself to Allah's book and His noble prophet Muhammad pbuh, you will find yourself more in harmony with who you really are and then more than your own love, will be the intensity of HIS divine love prevailing over everything else. InshaAllah.
      'By the morning light, And the night as it settles, Your Lord did not abandon you, nor did He forget.The Hereafter is better for you than the First.'
      -Adh-Duha

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      • #4
        Re: Being kind to yourself, loving yourself: how do you do it?

        Originally posted by Macbook View Post
        Salaams,

        I have got to be the harshest person towards myself, I am so nasty towards myself, and it's tiring me out. How do you become kind to yourself? In fact, few years back, I had this exact problem, then it improved (not too sure how it happened) and now, it's back with a vengeance. My self talk is very negative, I lack self confidence, its painful. I avoid all sorts of social situations, like get togethers, meals out etc..i want to change, I want to start loving myself, being kind to myself, I want to be my best fan, but I dont know how to do it.

        What are practical steps I could take to change for the better? I've accepted that Im naturally an introvert, but then again, being an introvert doesnt automatically mean that you're socially awkward, that you loath yourself, that your self talk is very negative etc...Please answer if you have something meaningful to say, otherwise please refrain.
        :wswrwb:
        Story of my life bud.

        I'm not an introvert, but I have this issue so I dont think your introversion has anything to do with it.

        It's just something you have to learn to manage I guess. Are there any stressors in your life that may be aggravating the situation?

        Ibn Umar was asked, “Did the sahaba laugh?” He said, “Yes, and the faith in their hearts was like mountains.”

        "You can not be the ummah that will call the world to goodness if you hate everybody else" - Nouman Ali Khan

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