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Mental illness, islam and social life

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  • Mental illness, islam and social life

    Hello everybody. My name is Mohammed. I have been suffering with mental illness for maybe 3-4 years now. It all started after a trip to ibiza where i took way too much drugs. Coke, extacy, weed, alcohol, all at the same time. I have not really recovered from that. I just went mad. And when i came back i lost my self. Suffering from extreme anxiety and depression. Personality problems/ identety. I was so careless stupid. Always been like this. Emotional. I feel better than i did but still i ffel so damaged and such a loser. I feel i dont belong anywhere. I think the reason i feel better now is because of allah swt helped me. I started to pray and asked for help in my dua. But last part of this ramadan went bad. I stopped fasting and praying. I feel so lost. I have no job. No friends. Nothing. I dont know what do do. I try figure it out in my head what this life is supposed to be about and what the right way to live as muslim is but then i feel like am trying to challenge allah swt or something i dont know im all messed up. Is there anybody out there who can relate and can give some advice? What do i have control over? Is everything alreday planed for me? I dont understand this concept. Please help